


Princess Commander

by gorgondrifter



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aden is a huge fan of Clarke's work, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Arranged Marriage, Artist Clarke, Bisexual Clarke, Class Differences, Clexa, Confident Clarke, Could have some homophobic language but the bad guys will lose, Emotionally Abusive Parents, F/F, Forbidden Love, Gay Lexa, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Illustrator Clarke, Instant Attraction, Internalised Homophobia, Jaded Clarke, Lesbian Sex, Lexa is a book nerd, Lexa is an introvert, May be some violence and drama later, Princess Lexa, Protective Clarke, Romance, Secret Relationship, Self Acceptance, Shy Lexa (The 100), Shy lexa, Tagged non con because of arranged marriage but won't depict too much, Tenderness, Will have smut and sexual scenes, Writer Clarke, closeted lexa, medieval type era, rebel clarke, royal au, soft lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-09-12 00:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 50
Words: 90,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16862578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgondrifter/pseuds/gorgondrifter
Summary: Princess Lexa is gay but the Royal Family of Polis wouldn't accept her and married her to a cruel, sexist bully who has become indifferent to her existence. Everyone ignores her. She is alone and spends her time reading fulfilling her expected duties in silence.Clarke Griffin is an author from the poorer kingdom of Arcadia who became unexpected wealthy and successful but is still angry at the class divides between the two kingdoms. The Royal Family's finances are in shambles and only their investment in her work has kept them from ruin and public embarrassment.Invited to stay as a guest at the Royal Household Clarke knows that the tables have turned for her and is determined not to forget the suffering of her friends and family in ArkadiaWhen Clarke meets the Princess, a shy, beautiful woman who seems trapped in an unhappy marriage and with a family who is ashamed of her their worlds collide and Clarke helps Lexa to accept herself.





	1. An Invitation from Your Worst Enemy

This was it.

Clarke Griffin wasn't ready. She eyed the large palace with apprehension. She was in truth a little scared but scared was something she was used to. The world had knocked her down so many times that she rarely expected anything else. Fear wouldn't stop her from doing this.

She got out of the carriage with her luggage, one large case and her art and writing supplies. She had dressed in simple black pants with a leather jacket and a low cut grey top.

If they thought for one minute that she was going to dress up for them and put on airs and graces they were very wrong. She would never forget where she came from and how badly the rich Polis people had treated her people. 

Clarke knocked on the door and was greeted by an elderly butler with a blank expression and narrow eyes.

"You must be the author and illustrator," he said in the poshest accent Clarke had ever heard in her life. "They are expecting you."

Clarke glanced up at the excessively grand doorframe and took a deep breath.

 _Might as well_ she thought with a grimace. _What do I have to lose?_

 

Lexa was a Princess. She was royalty by birth but had no power over any aspect of her life. Her parents controlled her every move. Barely anyone acknowledged her existence beyond formal introductions and her husband Darius was likely at a brothel sleeping with more women.

The truth was that it made her glad that he didn't want her anymore. She preferred invisibility to his attention. She deeply feared his attention and tried to make herself as unnoticable to him as possible, avoiding eye contact and remaining submissive at all times to avoid riling him.

Occassionally he still liked to remind her that he was in charge and who she belonged to and to remind her that she was worth nothing but to her relief it has been a long time since he'd wanted anything else from her and he had long since given up on the idea of pregnancy and declared her likely barren.

Lexa didn't know or care if the problem was with her or him. She only knew that it meant she could spend more time with her books and in her own bedroom.

Her mother was in her room laying out her expectations of Lexa for the upcoming event.

"I hope that you remind yourself of your royal duty at this evening's dinner," her mother chided. "Stand straight, remember your airs and graces and when you meet the Azgeda Royal family remember..."

Lexa didn't meet her eyes and just mumbled submissive replies as her mother continued, barely listening. She knew the etiquette rules all by heart. It had been drilled into her every day her of her life, every behaviour controlled, every interaction practised.

Her mother just continued talking while Lexa let herself daydream, only half listening. They rarely had any relationship and whenever she came to talk to Lexa it was always about the same topic, her shame, her failure to live up to their standards.

"And _don't_ talk about your books or any of your odd hobbies. No one is interested in your _childish_ fantasies."

"Yes, mother."

Lexa turned her head away, ignoring the feelings that her mother always stirred in her. The feelings that she had lived with ever since she had first realised that she was different.

_Loneliness, inadequacy and..._

"And don't you dare mention your _abnormal_ desires. You are happily married to Darius. You WILL not embarass us."

 _Shame_.

Lexa said nothing. Her mother knew that she would comply. They had silenced her. She had been silent and invisible for so long that she didn't even try anymore, expecting nothing else. She glanced out of the window, wondering how long she would have to stay at the dinner and if _he_ would be there to taunt her.

The handmaidens would allow her to bathe as they prepared her clothes. They would style her hair and apply her makeup. The would dress and adorn her. Lexa would need do nothing and no one would expect her to even speak beyond formalities. Even her handmaidens refused to utter a word to her that they didn't need to these days out of fear her parents would punish them.

Lexa drew in her breath and then sighed in frustration. She was merely a trophy, an object. As long as she attended and looked pretty, that was all she was meant to achieve. Princesses existed purely to make their husband happy and to bear children and Lexa had failed miserably at both.

"Who is the writer?" she asked her mother curiously.

As she turned her head her mother was already gone, the image of her stern disappointment no longer an overbearing presence in her private space. Lexa sighed and went back to sit on her bed and continuing to read her books.

 

  
How Clarke found herself going from being homeless and destitute in the poor kingdom of Arkadia to being invited to stay with the Royal Family of Polis was still a daily mystery to her. Raven had helped her get off the streets when she'd been at her worst, when she'd had to beg for scraps and defend herself from the worst kind of people.

Unable to find much work, Clarke had toiled for years writing and creating her art on the side as she worked every awful job that would pay her. She wrote fantasy books with illustrations on every page. In her stories the hero always won and the bad guys always lost. In real life it always seemed to be in reverse. She knew from experience that sometimes the bad guys got away with it especially if they were powerful.

After years of failure and no success, eventually she'd had a lucky break and somehow become one of the best sellers across the kingdom and very very famous. Everyone knew her name but she kept herself fairly reclusive. Rarely did anyone know her face. Publicly she was an enigma. No one but her friends and family really knew who she was.

_Famous. Me._

Clarke scoffed internally as she was introduced to the King and Queen as the great Clarke Griffin, creator of the popular Wanheda series.

_I'm as common as they get and always will be._

"You will be staying in the guest wing. The servants have prepared everything for your arrival and will provide water for bathing and anything else you may require."

The Queen was as formal and cold as Clarke had expected her to be. She knew that they only entertained her because she was so rich now. Fame and money she had learned made people react differently to a person. It gave a person power. If there was one thing Clarke understood very well it was how much more powerful she had become and just how phony the world of the elites was. She knew exactly who these people were.

It had sickened her when she had first witnessed their excesses. While her friends and family had had to work themselves to the bone on minimum pay only to be screwed over by those in power over and over again these people had been having lavish parties and decorating their palaces.

Most aristocrats would say all the right things to her but would publicly treat their staff like dirt. She often detected their subtle distaste at her lower class origins but they tolerated her because of her wealth They assumed her just an eccentric writer who was somehow exempt from their rules because she made people a lot of money. Rich people rarely had to follow the rules and loved keeping their financial affairs secret.

Clarke was 100% sure that the King and Queen had told no one of their financial problems and that their investment in the publishers that gained major royalties from her success were propping up the royal finances. They had recovered a great deal from their financial problems but it had been kept a closely guarded secret, the Woods Royal family fearing that it would destroy their standing in society if people knew that the King and his son-in-law had managed to squander a large amount of their wealth in such a short amount of time.

Clarke just nodded at everything they said. She knew that she would not ever like these people. They tolerated her and she tolerated them.

"Where is Aden?" she asked.

" _Prince_ Aden will not arrive for several weeks. Until that time you can proceed with your work and are of course invited to all Royal functions, including this evening's meal."

Clarke just about resisted the urge to say something sarcastic and shake her head at the Queen's poorly veiled dig. Their opinions mattered little to her. If the Queen thought that she could hurt Clarke she was sadly mistaken. People had said and done much worse things to her.

"Of course," Clarke replied dryly.

"There will be many highly prestigious guests at this gathering, including many other rulers and lords..." The Queen's eyes glanced with distaste at her current clothing. "You _may_ want to dress more formally for the occassion."

Clarke grimaced trying not to let her distaste show on her face. If they thought that she would wear a dress they were wrong. Suddenly an idea came into her mind and she smiled with a slight smirk.

"Of course, your highness. I will wear formal attire for the occassion."

Clarke analysed the royal couple in front of her in a split second, reading their facial features and their body language and making quick assessments. It was a gift she had, to be able to see people for who they really where behind their politeness.

They were both greying, the King with straight hair and the Queen's curled and short. The King appeared completely disinterested in her and likely hadn't had an original or meaningful thought in his life. She could see him as being of little trouble to her.

The Queen however, Clarke saw cruelty in her eyes, snobbishness and a care only for her reputation. Neither of them would be too much trouble for her though. She knew that she could outsmart them both easily. She was much better than most people at seeing the bigger picture and thinking ahead. If they caused her trouble she could deal with them.

One look in their eyes told her that they knew how important she was to their financial recovery. They needed her and that would mean that no one would really dare to challenge her. This might even be fun if Clarke could remember what it was like to have fun.

 

 


	2. An Evening with Sharks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds herself alone at the gathering, while Clarke listens to stories of the ruler 'Wanheda' who inspired her books. 
> 
> Lexa's husband makes an appearance and Clarke and Lexa meet for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some parts in this chapter concerning domestic abuse. As the story centres around Lexa being trapped in an unhappy marriage and Clarke and Lexa's relationship, this will likely occur a lot in the story. I will not be too graphic or describe anything too extreme and will try to warn beforehand. It's just to give you the sense that he is a real threat. Also a lot of the characters around Lexa are homophobes so there will be bigotry and homophobia from many of them.

Lexa was as still as a statue. The evening had been fairly usual. She had spoken very little through dinner while the rulers of the other kingdoms drank and conversed. It was all so polite but as the evening had progressed to the party and the alcohol began to flow freely, it was like being in a room with sharks with all the political scheming.

The other princesses from the other kingdoms passed her with a giggle and hushed whispers designed to make her feel paranoid. She lowered her head pushing down the hurt that she felt.

Everyone had heard the rumours about her though no one dared to voice them without proof. Everyone took care to avoid her as much as possible.

"Guess they know what you are," a deep voice whispered in her ear.

A rough hand gripped her arm until it hurt. Lexa's whole body tensed away from her husband. He was too close, his presence domineering as he towered behind her.

"Don't forget who you belong to."

His voice was low and threatening. Lexa closed her eyes, trying to suppress the fear. She was far too used to this. She knew how dangerous he could be if she answered back.

Finally he walked away, satisfied that he'd scared her and she felt a wave of relief pass through her.

 _Another hour and I can excuse myself_ she thought with relief. _It's not like anyone will miss me._

 

Clarke found the party mind numbingly boring. She had met numerous insufferable people, people she would happily never see again. She observed them watching how the Azgeda Queen whispered secret plans in the ear of the young girl with the dark hair.

Clarke observed many other leaders flashing fake smiles at their rivals as they schemed how they would destroy them. It was a worse environment than she had imagined. She could hardly believe that these people were actually in charge. Not a soul among them seemed to genuinely care for any of their people.

She lifted her drink to her lips. She had held the same glass for hours, watching every one else become intoxicated as she remained not even giddy.

" _Wanheda_ has not appeared."

Clarke turned at the name to find a young and rather loud group of lords discussing Arkadia's famous ruler. She raised an eyebrow at them and one young man waved his hands at her.

"Oh no, not your Wanheda," he said with a grin. "The real one that inspired your work. I'm assuming that you are _not_ the ruler of that terrible place."

Clarke wanted to punch him as he laughed and his friends laughed with him, while they insulted her home.

"Of course not," she replied with a smile. "I'm just a writer."

They turned away and joked between themselves about the absurdity of someone of her birthright ruling anything and Clarke ignored them in favour of listening in on other conversations.

"They say he has amassed an army of the people ready to fight and die for him."

Clarke passed more people talking of the mysterious ruler.

"They say that he has become the most powerful leader that has ever existed, achieving more in a year than others achieve in a lifetime."

"They say he is very clever and has never lost against an opponent either mentally or physically."

"I hear that Wanheda had the royal fortune stolen from under King Pike's nose and redistributed it to his people."

"They say he has removed three more rulers this month with his schemes."

"I hear he has black curly hair and sleeps with different women every night and the people all love him so."

Clarke grimaced at that one. Bellamy would think that one hilarious. She listened for a while before moving on and then turned away from them.

And then it happened. She saw her.

Clarke was fixed to her spot. There was a woman standing alone in the centre of the room, near one of the decorative pillers. She had cascading chestnut hair falling in waves to one side, the other side of her neck bare and wore a simple but expensive dress, long, black and flowing. She held herself with complete grace and had a beautiful sharp jawline but soft eyes and soft curves. She held a drink that she rarely touched and glanced off into the distance as if she would desperately rather be anywhere else than at the event. The woman turned and her eyes met Clarke's in that instant. They were hypnotising, a forest green colour that Clarke knew would be burned into her memory forever.

The woman's gaze flickered nervously to Prince Darius, an aggressive, foolish man who Clarke knew had married into his position despite having no noble birthright.

He was tall and muscular with dark hair and a thuggish, arrogant manner. He had won his position through violence, winning battles for Polis and gaining his status through physical dominance but was a coward and a bully as far as she has heard. Clarke saw cruelty in his eyes despite his smiles as he talked to several giggling young women and blatantly flirted with them in front of his wife. Clarke had immediately noticed the wedding ring that the woman wore and could easily guess who she was.

Clarke saw the fear in the woman's eyes and walked over towards her fearlessly.

"Hi. I'm Clarke."

Princess Alexandria Woods stared at her nervously as if she had not expected anyone to even notice her and didn't know why Clarke was even talking to her. She gave a polite bow that was mostly a nod and appearly deeply shy.

"Lexa," she replied in a quiet voice.

Clarke smiled at the informal reply. She was obviously making the woman nervous enough to forget her royal etiquette. She had an upper class accent but with her it was sweet and soothing not harsh and cruel like her parents.

The Princesses eyes lowered as they ran over Clarke's body and she tried to suppress her attraction. Lexa swallowed as she attempted to maintain eye contact and Clarke had to suppress a smirk.

"Nice to meet you Princess," she said politely. "Would you like to talk with me for a while."

Lexa just stared at her as if unable to comprehend. She nodded shyly and Clarke stared deep into those fascinating eyes, unable to stop herself from dropping her gaze down over Lexa's beautiful form before returning eye contact.

God this woman was adorable.

And hot.

 

A while later and Clarke and Lexa were still enjoying each other's company. Clarke had been chatty and witty trying to put her more at ease until Lexa began to feel more comfortable with her. Everyone else at the party had either disappeared to find their own fun or were too drunk to care about the growing connection between the two women.

"How long have you been married?" Clarke asked in a low soft voice, when no one was close enough to them to hear.

"I'm twenty-five so seven years or so."

Clarke nodded her mind lost in thought.

"And it was an arranged marriage? You had no choice?"

Lexa nodded and Clarke saw the pain flash in her eyes and her gaze dart away to the side.

"A Princess must marry and bear children to continue the Royal bloodline."

Clarke knew that these were the Queen's words not Lexa's. She recited them as if she had heard them a thousand times before.

A deep wave of empathy flooded Clarke's heart. She was used to seeing suffering, used to hardship but something about Lexa was special, something was kind and sweet and she saw real pain in her eyes. She already understood what Lexa's situation was. She had figured it out the moment she stared into those eyes and when she saw her reaction to Darius' presence. When he raised his voice in conversations with others, Lexa flinched.

"They thought that it was time," Lexa explained.

"Because you are not attracted to men?"

Lexa turned to meet her gaze, staring back into Clarke's eyes with shock.

"It's okay," Clarke said in a soft voice. "I won't tell anyone. You're safe with me."

Their eyes remained locked together, green eyes and blue joining in an secret embrace. It was like they were the only people in the room that mattered and their chemistry was electric.

They were from different worlds but there was a connection between them. Clarke felt it deep in her soul.

"Does your family know that he hurts you?"

Lexa sighed.

"Yes. They told me that it is my duty to obey him and that if he is angry, it is because I don't try hard enough."

"And they know that you can't feel any attraction for him, that it could never work?"

Lexa blinked and then nodded.

"They say it is wrong, that a princess cannot have these... these... _feelings_. They think I must change."

Lexa sighed.

"You know sometimes I wish that I could be attracted to men and be normal just once.. Maybe if I could enjoy it, if I could make him happy..."

Clarke stepped closer towards Lexa, touching her arm.

"No Lexa. Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with what you are. You don't need to change yourself. Your family is wrong. They're wrong."

Lexa's eyes lit up as she stared at Clarke as if she couldn't believe that she was real.

"Do you want to know what my secret is?" Clarke asked her in a whisper, moving closer to her.

They were only inches apart and Lexa was very still and almost holding her breath as if she was trying to suppress her desires, her gaze never leaving Clarke. Clarke felt it too. There was a heat between them, a hunger. She leaned in to whisper in her ear, Lexa tilting her head to listen.

"I know who the real _Wanheda_ is. That's why I'm here."

Lexa's eyes widened and then Clarke saw that she understood. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds just lost in the moment.

"Want to get out of here?" Clarke asked.

"Yes," Lexa replied in a tortured whisper.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere more private."

Clarke took her hand and led her away from the grand hall with determination and no one noticed the Princess and the Writer sneaking away out of sight of the guests. 

 

 


	3. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke spend the night together despite the trouble it could cause and the Royal family prepare for the arrival of Bellamy Blake as a representative of Wanheda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty chapter but it's romantic smut. If you don't want talk of breasts or if 'female presenting nipples' bother you then maybe don't read this chapter.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Lexa murmoured in between frantic kisses.

Clarke mumbled something incoherent and continued moving her lips against Lexa at furious speed. They had been like this for ten minutes. Clarke had taken her to an area out of the way just behind a curtain at the edge of the main hall. The noise of the party was in earshot but neither of them were listening, too lost in the sensations of each other. They held onto each other for dear life, both equally throwing themselves into a moment they never wanted to end.

"You're so beautiful," Clarke mumbled.

She pulled back and gazed at Lexa, brushing the chestnut curls back with one hand and brushing her fingertips across her cheekbones with immeasurable softness.

"I don't know how anyone could ever hurt you," she whispered.

Lexa smiled, a sweet, soft smile as if those words meant the world to her but she shied away from Clarke's intense blue gaze.

"Are you sure that you want this?" Clarke asked. "It's your choice. We can stop any time you want."

"Yes," Lexa said, letting out the breath she had been holding.

Clarke examined her face for signs of hesitation, for second thoughts but found none.

"I've - I've never done this with a woman before. Darius was the only one who ever -"

Clarke caught the pain in her voice and frowned. She understood that Lexa had only ever been attracted to women and that she had seen sex with her husband as a horrible duty that she must fulfil.

"Does he still...?"

"No," Lexa said. "I consented. He didn't force me but it was expected of me and I never-"

Clarke waited patiently for her to express herself. This was hard for the Princess. It angered Clarke greatly that they had done this to her at all.

"I could never - enjoy it. I hated his touch."

Lexa breathed out as if just saying the words out loud was a relief. Clarke knew that she had likely never had anyone just sit down and listen to her or allow her to talk about it before. It made her want to free Lexa in every way possible from this terrible control they had over her. She deserved as much.

"Lexa. I know that you think that you consented but you were pressured into it. None of it is your fault. They should never have made you marry him."

"Have you ever - with a woman?" Lexa asked.

Clarke shook her head.

"I was in love once for many years. He was the first man I slept with. He was a good man but he changed and I couldn't love him anymore."

 _Finn_.

War had turned him into a person she didn't even recognise and he'd done horrible things.

"You're the first woman I have ever even kissed," Clarke admitted.

Lexa smiled, listening to her patiently but then her gaze dropped to Clarke's lips and Clarke surged forward to meet Lexa's and lose herself in the sensations of her.

As they made their way to Lexa's bedroom they knew that this was dangerous. Lexa was married and Clarke wasn't high born at all. This sort of relationship just wasn't meant to happen and Clarke would only be staying in Polis for a few months.

Yet neither of them spoke as they entered Lexa's bedroom, Clarke locking the door behind them.

Lexa led Clarke to the bed, their hands still joined as she gazed up at Clarke with awe.

"You don't have to do this," said Clarke in a hushed tone. "If there's anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell me and we can stop. If you change your mind half way through it's okay. You don't need to be afraid."

Lexa stared at her still as Clarke hovered over the abyss wondering just what the hell she was thinking doing this. But Clarke had known that they would sleep together the second she had looked into those eyes. So green and deep, so interesting. Lexa intrigued her and Clarke desperately wanted to show her the difference when sex was kind and compassionate and loving. She desperately wanted to show Lexa that she was beautiful as she was and not abnormal or worthless like her family made her feel. In the entire room Lexa had been the most ignored and yet to Clarke the most dazzling.

Other people couldn't see it but Clarke could see behind appearances better than anyone she knew and this woman deserved nothing more than absolute kindness and care. Lexa believed that she was broken having never been able to experience true sexual attraction in her relationship. Clarke would show her that she wasn't.

"Clarke, I want to," Lexa repeated.

_I'll show her who she really is. I'll help her._

Clarke was determined as she pressed her lips to Lexa's and lay her down. She didn't normally assume the dominant position but Lexa was so sweet, so timid that she would have to show her. Clarke could feel her shaking beneath her.

"It's okay," she whispered, cupping Lexa's face with one hand. "I won't hurt you. I will never hurt you. Trust me."

She felt Lexa's hand wrap around her neck and the trembling ease.

"We can stop at any time," Clarke reassured her. "It's all up to you. Your decision. This is about what you want and what you are comfortable with."

Lexa nodded and they fell over the edge. For one single night all their cares were forgotten as they lost theirselves to bliss.

  
The next morning everything went on as normal. Clarke left her bed early, before anyone could discover them and Lexa carried on with her daily duties which mostly consisted of public appearances where she just had to be present and silent. As far as anyone else knew nothing had happened but Lexa knew that everything had changed. She replayed the night over and over in her mind losing herself to the distraction of the memories. No matter what happened they could never take it from her. She would never forget that night and the experience they had shared.

  
Clarke walked into the throne room when the Royal Family were in the middle of organising. Rumour was it that a representative of Arkadia, possibly _Wanheda_ himself was going to arrive to talk the King and Queen about a treaty. The family clearly wanted to display as much wealth as possible to remind Arkadia of their place. Servants bustled around following the Queen's orders. Darius wore a disgruntled frown at even having to be present but Lexa wasn't there yet.

When she finally walked in, her eyes met Clarke's immediately and Clarke felt her heart skip a beat. Lexa looked stunning as always, her hair long and loose, her dress simple and elegant. Everything between them had changed.

"What is wrong with you today?" the Queen snapped at Lexa. "You have been daydreaming all day. This is important. _Wanheda_ has real power. We must convince him that we are just as powerful."

Lexa nodded silently, her eyes flicking back to Clarke's. They communicated without words and Clarke just held the eye contact.

 

_It's okay. I won't hurt you._

Lexa's dress had been pulled up over her head, Clarke's fingers unbuttoning her own trousers.

_You are beautiful._

She had removed Lexa's bra, unhooking it swiftly, sliding down her silk panties. When Clarke has unfastoned her own bra and hovered topless above her admiring Lexa's breasts, small and pert. She ran her hand over the delicate nipples kissing under Lexa's jaw and down her neck, gently caressing them with soft squeezes.

_You are amazing._

_You are beautiful._

_Just beautiful._

The sound of Lexa's wonderous moan, high pitched but gentle and gutteral was Clarke's favourite sound in the world. It had sent an immediate thrill through her body and they were barely even started. She guided Lexa's hands to her own body knowing that Lexa wanted to touch her too. Lexa hesitated at first then softly ran her hands over Clarke breasts and nipples, careful as if unsure of herself. Clarke kissed her neck in a slow, sensual style darting her tongue out once or twice maybe to be cheeky or even just to taste this natural goddess.

Lexa moaned even more and Clarke checked with her at each stage, reassuring her whenever she was nervous.

_Is this okay?_

_Are you okay?_

_Do you want me to touch you more?_

_Are you alright with this?_

Clarke knew that Lexa needed treated with care and that's what she did, worshipping every part of her body before she even neared her centre. When she did finally touch Lexa there, she was slow and deliberate and ran her other hand through Lexa's hair, watching her, reassuring her. Lexa had orgasmed with a cry, a shattering cry, her body trembling as Clarke's fingers slipped inside her for a second time and she had orgasm after orgasm under Clarke's tentative care.

Clarke held Lexa as she recovered whispering sweet words in her ear. When Lexa recovered she asked if she could please Clarke and she directed the Princess patiently and found that actually Lexa was far better at it than she could have ever imagined. They both came multiple times in cries and gasps and moans, the last time both together, inside each other, connected in a way that neither of them would ever forget.

 

These memories flashed through Clarke's mind as she stood across the room from Lexa.

"Clarke is from Arkadia and so she was invited to this too. I know it's - unorthodox but he requested her presence."

"What makes you so sure he's Wanheda?" Clarke asked.

Darius scoffed at her.

"Women know nothing of politics. Wanheda would want to visit personally to see the enemy for himself. He says he's not Wanheda but everybody is sure it's Bellamy Blake who is really in charge."

"You're right," Clarke replied. "A lowborn like me knows nothing of politics."

Lexa's lips curved into a slight smile that only Clarke noticed. Clarke smiled back and no one noticed their secret moment.

"Women only exist to breed. They should stay out of matters are too stupid to understand," Darius said aggressively. "A woman who can't bear children is worthless."

He hovered near Lexa as he spoke clearly meaning to intimidate her and Clarke felt a rage boil within her like she had never experienced. It took her every ounce of self control not to react but inside she loathed him even speaking to her. She felt a strange protectiveness for Lexa, a possessiveness she shouldn't. Lexa wasn't hers. She had been owned her whole life by others and Clarke wasn't about to follow their example. She wanted Lexa to be free to make her own choices. Lexa just wasn't ready yet.

 

 


	4. Behind Closed Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy Blake struggles to come to an agreement with Polis and Clarke and Lexa spend another night together. Some smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who posted positive comments. It means the world to me and appreciate you taking the time to share them with me.

Bellamy Blake entered the throne room dressed more as a warrior than a ruler. Two guards flanked him, Octavia his sister, a highly respected warrior and Echo his partner, also a warrior. It was immensely tense as he seated himself in front of the King and Queen.

"Okay. Let's talk," he said slouching back in his chair with confidence.

Three hours later and they were no further to making an agreement between the kingdoms.

"We both know that you can't defeat our army," Bellamy warned them. "This treaty would benefit you but I see no benefit for our people."

"Your kingdom is an impoverished mess. You own no wealth. Most of your farms are owned by other Kingdoms, Kingdoms loyal to _us_."

Bellamy seemed unaffected by the Queen's words. His sister on the other hand glared at the Queen with sheer hatred.

"So what do you want that we can give, if that's true?"

" _Wanheda_ ," the King replied. "Hand him over and we will make an alliance with you."

Bellamy laughed out loud and shook his head.

"The _hero_ of the people? The person in charge of the whole kingdom? My _own_ boss?"

The King glared at him unimpressed by his response.

"We know that it's you, General Blake. There is no need to continue this pretense."

A wide curved smile spread across his lips. His eyes practically sparkled with amusement.

"I can assure you that I'm not Wanheda. The rumours are false."

The King got to his feet and his wife mirrored him.

"Then we have nothing more to discuss. If Arkadia leaves Polis alone we will not attack Arkadia. That is all we can give until Wanheda is presented to us."

"If that's what you want..."

Bellamy got to his feet and turned away from the rulers, his sister's dark eyes boring into the royals threateningly before she turned and followed him, clutching the sword at her side.

  
Lexa had spent the majority of the meeting with Arkadia's general Bellamy Blake sneaking stolen glances at Clarke. Every now and then Clarke would catch her and they would share a secret moment between them, her blue eyes blazing back at her. They were both silent throughout the talks and when Lexa was finally excused she gave Clarke a final glance as she exited the room with a sigh.

"I'm going to be away for the rest of the night. I could be gone a while."

Lexa turned around in the hallway. Clarke was standing there, her expression apologetic. Lexa blinked. Clarke checked around them to make sure that they were alone and surged forward. They were close but not touching.

"If you need anything. If there's trouble, contact Raven Reyes in Arkadia. She'll always get a message to me and I'll come back right away."

Lexa watched her, a stirring of desire flowing through her just at Clarke's presence. The meeting had been torturous both of them forced to act as if nothing had happened between them, as if Clarke hadn't shaken her very being with love and affection. She had decimated Lexa with tenderness and taken her to heights of sensation that she never could have imagined. Lexa was glad that she had been there with her today even if they couldn't let slip their affections for each other. Somehow Clarke made her feel safe and not alone even just by existing.

Lexa nodded silently in reply to her concerns. Clarke cupped her face and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"I'll see you soon Princess. I won't be long."

Clarke smiled cheekily her blue eyes blazing and Lexa just smiled back and watched as her blonde lover turned away and left her.

 

Later that night Lexa heard a knock at her door. She had learned to lock it each night in case Darius thought to visit when he was drinking and wanted to frighten her. The knock was quiet and Lexa put her book down on her bed and unlocked the door.

Clarke stood there, leaning one hand confidently on the door frame. She flashed a confident smile but Lexa saw some stress behind those blue oceans. She didn't know where Clarke had gone to but neither of them wanted to talk about their lives just now. That's not what either of them needed.

"I got you a present," she said revealing a single red rose from behind her back.

Lexa's eyes lit up as she took the rose, her head tilting down and a shy smile spreading across her lips. Clarke's eyelids fluttered at the beauty of her response, her heart full of affection. She opened the door wider and Clarke strutted inside shutting it behind her and bolting it shut.

Clarke walked forward, her eyes full of pure lust as she scanned the expanse of Lexa's nightgown, observing with pleasure the split sides of the clothing and Lexa's long, athletic legs. When she noticed the book on the bed, she stopped in slight surprise.

"You're reading my work?"

"I - I was curious."

Clarke smiled at her shyness moving closer into Lexa's space, her smile getting cockier by the moment.

"So... what did you think? Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes," Lexa replied, not quite able to keep full eye contact. "You are an amazing writer. You are listed as the illustrator too? Did you really draw these?"

"Hmmm," Clarke replied running a hand down Lexa's soft arms. "I like to draw."

Clarke met her eyes with a fixed stare. It made Lexa almost shudder. When Clarke stared at her it was as if she was staring directly into her soul, able to see the real her.  Clarke's lips curved up at the corners, Lexa unable to tear her eyes from the small freckle that resided above them. Clarke boldly wrapped her arms arounds Lexa's waist, surging forward to draw their lips together. They kissed softly at first but it soon became fast and hungry and Clarke's hands trailed down Lexa's bare thighs, caressing her skin there in a way that made Lexa gasp at the sensation. Lexa threw herself into the kiss, her head tilted to the side.

"Do you know how to french kiss?" Clarke asked suddenly, pulling back.

Their foreheads were touching.

"No."

"Here. I'll teach you. Open your mouth a little."

Clarke pressed her lips onto Lexa's again, kissing normally at first to relax her lover then she allowed her tongue to brush over Lexa's lower lip and slowly slide into her mouth. It was sensual, slow. Lexa responded cautiously at first, her tongue tentatively seeking contact and then it seemed to ignite a fire in both of them and they were frantically stripping their clothes off as Lexa followed Clarke down to the bed, Clarke pulling the princess on top of her. They kissed frantically, removing their underwear in seconds until they were completely nude.

"I knew you were secretly a top," Clarke mumbled with a grin, as Lexa kissed her with languid, sensual kisses.

Lexa pulled back a second, her long, curvaceous body pressed entirely on Clarke's. The sight of her naked above Clarke both excited and enthralled her.

"A top?"

"I'll explain it to you later," Clarke said shaking her head and pulling her back into their kiss.

They made love much more madly than they had the night before, neither of them able to keep their lust at bay. Though Clarke was underneath Lexa, she guided Lexa with kind words. Lexa listened and followed better than Clarke could've imagined. Clarke still took the lead verbally but she sensed that she had unlocked something primal in Lexa, that behind the shy girl persona this woman was just as wild and untameble as she was.

They rocked into each other, Clarke holding Lexa straddled above her as they connected their bodies, the blonde sucking on her nipples as if in subjugation, worshipping her in every way she knew how. She kissed Lexa's neck with deep kisses, sucking the skin there softly, grazing her teeth ever so gently against her neck to resist the urge to bite and pressing more kisses down along the exquisite curve connecting Lexa's neck and shoulder. Lexa was moaning out, throwing her head back in ecstasy and Clarke was glad that the door was thick and that Lexa's private bedroom far away from her marital room or the royal bedroom else she might have to hush this beautiful goddess in her incredibly state of arousal.

Each kiss, each touch was a liberation to them, was an act of rebellion against those in charge. Both Lexa and Clarke had been held prisoner by the cruelty of those in power. Now they broke their rules carelessly in an act of absolute defiance and it was a thrill that they both couldn't get enough of. As they lost themselves in each other, shuddering, wet, falling over the edge more than once until they were both panting, their faces inches apart, Clarke ignored the part of her that was always the good girl just like Lexa did. That part of her that always did the right thing, that tried to help others even when they were cruel in return, even when she was rarely rewarded.

They were both trapped by public image and expectations but as Lexa lay beside her, too spent to move and Clarke felt a wonderful fatigue wash over her pleasantly stimulated body, the rest of the world fell away. They were just Clarke and Lexa now, not their roles, not what the world expected.

Clarke lay down on her back and Lexa shifted to snuggle into Clarke's body, resting her head under Clarke's chin. She placed a gentle kiss on the side of her lover's neck and settled down to rest. Clarke inhaled and slowly released her breath as she wrapped one arm protectively around Lexa's body to hold her close. Lexa was tracing soft circles on her stomach, her eyes closed, completely at ease with her lover and they both said nothing as they fell asleep content and relaxed.

 

 

 


	5. Words Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Aden finally arrives at Polis, Raven receives a message and an invitation and worries about her friend and Lexa and Clarke sneak out of the palace for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are references to battle and violence as well as some PTSD flashbacks in this chapter. It is minimal but please take care if this could be a trigger for you.

A few weeks passed and Clarke continued to visit Lexa, sometimes just to talk, sometimes for more. She let Lexa set the pace. Over time the woman blossomed and began to talk more openly. She was always graceful and kind but she was intelligent too and their shared passion for reading was a constant topic of conversation between them.

Clarke as always disappeared frequently during the day but usually returned in the evening, often just to check on Lexa and see how she was doing. She watched Darius intensely whenever he was around, always aware of his presence and Lexa always smiled at her sweetly whenever she entered the room.

"Is your cousin Aden anything like your parents?" Clarke whispered.

Lexa could feel Clarke's warm breath against her skin. Desire stirred within Lexa every time the blonde was in proximity. The desires she had for women no longer scared her. It was as if a part of herself had been suffocated and now it could breathe. Even in her current circumstances, she felt much freer.

"No. He's sweet and thoughtful. I think you will like him."

Clarke raised her eyebrows as if thinking about this. They were waiting for Aden's arrival, just the two of them, Lexa in a long, elegant dress and Clarke in black pants and a short black jacket as practical as usual.

"Must take after you then."

Lexa's turned her head to see Clarke's pink lips curve at the corner, blue eyes shining back at her. Lexa couldn't help smiling broadly at her attempts at flattery. Clarke was constantly showering her with compliments but not in a fake, insincere way. It was a kind of sweetness in Clarke's nature that she wanted to raise people up, to lift them out of their suffering yet she also knew the importance of letting people do that for theirselves and letting Lexa make her own decisions.

The door opened and the young Prince entered, a burly, bearded warrior shadowing him. He addressed them very properly for someone of his age.

"Clarke, this is my cousin Aden, Aden this is Clarke Griffin of Arkadia."

The Prince lowered his head and bowed politely.

"I hear that you're a big fan," Clarke asked.

"I find your work very inspiring."

He had such an excessively formal manner. Clarke was beginning to realise that the these people rarely had anything but cold, formal conversations.

"I've been working on some new stuff. If you want you can get an early peek at some of the new artwork."

The boy's eyes lit up though he tried hard not to show any emotion.

"I would kindly accept your invitation. Would in the early evening be suitable?"

"Sure," she replied. "You can help if you like, draw some ideas..."

Aden couldn't hide his excited smile though he really tried to.

"You must forgive me. I am expected to attend lessons while I am here and the tutor wanted to speak to me upon arrival about my current progress. Please excuse me."

"Lessons huh? You better get going then. It's nice to finally meet you Aden."

The young boy bowed again and walked away with clear purpose. The warrior glared at Clarke and leaned towards her as if to intimidate her.

"If you harm that boy, I will slit your throat."

"Gustus!" Lexa exclaimed.

His voice was gravelled and deep, his eyes full of mistrust. She recognised that look. It was the look of warrior who had seen bloodshed in battle. Clarke tried to steady her nerves. She would not let the memories resurface.

"Sorry your highness but she is Arkadian. They would take any chance to destroy our kingdom. We cannot trust them."

Clarke's eyes steeled over and she stepped forward to meet his challenge, holding her head high.

"You're wrong. Arkadia only wants peace and fair treatment."

"Fair," he growled. "What of the massacre? Was it fair to slaughter 300 of our warriors?"

"It was self-defense. You attacked us first. My people were only trying to survive."

Gustus seemed unimpressed. When he saw her, he only saw the enemy. Lexa didn't know what to say as they argued not sure if she should say anything at all.

"You can write glorious tales in your books about Wanheda but we all know that he is really just a mass murderer. If you had seen the devastation he has caused, you would not glorify him in tales."

Clarke held eye contact until he turned and followed his Prince. Clarke was rooted to the spot, the violent images threatening to flash before her eyes. She pushed them away. She couldn't. She just couldn't.

Blood. Screaming. Her heart pounding. Finn running holding his sword up. She shouted for him to stop but he wouldn't and then she raised the torch and she closed her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Lexa touched her shoulder tenderly. Clarke took a breath and turned around to smile at her.

"It's nothing. Do you have anything planned this morning?"

"No. There is little planned today but Aden's arrival."

Clarke grinned at her and leaned in closer to her.

"Me neither so let's get out of here."

Lexa's eyes widened. She usually only left the palace for formal functions in other kingdoms. Clarke must have seen her fear as she brushed on hand over her forearm in reassurance.

"Trust me. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Lexa stared directly into her eyes. She didn't know why she trusted Clarke but she did.

"I'll get you some clothes to help you blend in. Give me ten minutes and I'll swing by for you."

Clarke's hand was still resting on her forearm. She lingered for a moment and then left, leaving Lexa wondering just what was going through Clarke's mind.

 

Raven Reyes desperately wished that her leg would heal but the wound would never fully be healed. She dragged her leg as she moved across her workroom, tinkering with the mechanical device.

When a white pigeon with a grey/orange body landed on the window nearby, Raven turned and pulled the note from the band around it's foot. When she read it, she cursed and threw down the metal tool in her hand. It landed on the wooden workbench with a clang.

"Damn it Clarke. "

Raven yelled for Bellamy knowing he lounged in the other room. He pushed the door open and leaned in, hovering in the doorway.

"What's up Ray?"

"This!"

She limped over and slammed the note into his chest. He took it and read it then handed it her back.

"So she's staying longer, so what?"

"You know it still haunts her. We should've never let her go."

"Ray. When have we ever been able to stop her from doing anything? If anyone should be worried it's them."

Raven frowned.

"She's more fragile than people think. She hides it. Ever since Finn..."

Her voice trailed off and Bellamy watched her with sympathy.

"She's the toughest person we know. Nothing is going to change that."

"I guess you're right. It just feels too soon."

"Anyway," Bellamy added trying to change the subject, "She wants to see you."

Raven stopped still.

"Who? Her? _The_ her? Anya? What does she want with me."

Bellamy shrugged.

"She wants to talk to you. Be grateful. Not many people get an audience with her. It took me months to get on her good side."

Raven gave him a sideways glance as she wiped the grease off her hands with a piece of fabric. She was sweating and always covered in the stuff since she started working on the device. 

"Did they buy that you were Wanheda in Polis then?"

Bellamy grinned confidently.

"It worked just as we planned. They definately think that Wanheda is a man."

"Of course they do. They can't believe for one second that a woman could achieve all that."

"Well more fool them. Let them keep thinking it and it will make them easier to defeat."

Raven relished the thought. Sometimes the thought of making them pay for what they did was all that she had. Her leg might never heal but she could watch them all burn for it.

 

"Where are we going?" Lexa asked.

"It's a surprise."

Clarke's tone was light and playful. They both wore hoods as they had exited the palace in secret, following a hidden path that Lexa hadn't even known existed. It had not escaped her attention that Clarke knew exactly how to disappear out of Polis without being seen and she wondered how many times Clarke had done this before.

"Is this where you go when you leave?"

Clarke had been fixed on her path only concerned with getting to their destination safely. She turned her head to answer.

"One of the places. I can move around pretty easily and I know a lot of people."

"Because of your position in the Arkadian rebels?"

"Yes," Clarke replied instantly. "I do the majority of my work behind the scenes. It's more effective that way."

She talked about her role as if it was nothing to her. Lexa wondered how the hell she kept so calm about it and how long she had been doing it. She talked about it as if was as normal to her as eating breakfast.

"And your book?"

Clarke hushed her and they stopped and kneeled still holding hands. A guard walked past. Clarke had clearly memorised their routines. She seemed to be counting under her breath. When she got to zero, she tugged Lexa gently forward and they rushed across the gardens. They darted behind some large trees and shrubs and Clarke moved them aside to reveal a large hole in the palace wall, the other side covered by trees too.

"Come on. There are no eyes outside the wall on this side. It's a blind spot."

Clarke led her through and held the branches and leaves aside as Lexa lowered her head and walked through the gap.

"The book was for me," Clarke said quietly. "It wasn't a trick. I write for me, to say all the things I can't say out loud."

Lexa didn't reply at first, quiet and thoughtful as she always was.

"You can tell me," she said, almost in a whisper.

Clarke smiled as if grateful for the sentiment.

"No Lexa. You've had enough darkness in your life already. You don't want to deal with this kind."

Lexa nodded silently understanding. Clarke wanted to protect her from her nightmares. Occassionally in the night she would wake up with a start, breathing heavy, some dark images clouding her mind. She would eventually calm and lie back down and say that it was just bad memories. Whatever it was she could not voice it, likely not to anyone.

Like Clarke, Lexa didn't need to know every detail of her lover's life. The moment and comfort of each other, the trust, that was all they needed. There was an unspoken agreement between them that neither of them pushed the other to talk about their pain until they wanted to. Much of the time they didn't even need to talk at all.

As Lexa followed her she wondered what other burdens lay on Clarke's shoulder. She seemed fearless and bold, always aware, always planning and thinking of all of the variables. Lexa had read her stories and seen her illustrations and been in awe of the depths of her mind. She had read many books but something about that one resonated in her soul.

Despite Gustus' claims that the stories were glorified they were honest about the horrors of battle and Wanheda's face or form was never seen, Clarke having invented an outlandish costume of black and blue to cover the figure. Nothing in the book referred to Wanheda's appearance or gender. Knowing Clarke as she did, she was sure that it was deliberate, a way of keeping Wanheda an enigma.

Lexa had read every line, had studied every page.

_Life should be about more than surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?_

The text was accompanied by no image and was the last line in the book and Lexa's favourite. It resonated with something deep within her. It gave her hope for something, for a chance at happiness. It made her feel that she might be worth it for just a second.

The feeling never lasted. She had spent too many years not believing that but on her worst days she reread the book, tracing her fingers delicately across the text as if doing so could help her to hold on to it and then Clarke would enter with that warm smile that told Lexa she wanted that connection between them.

She suspected that Clarke desired to escape her pain as much as she did. Clarke rarely focussed on herself, giving all her attention to making Lexa feel good about herself. She flirted and complimented and comforted. She told Lexa over and over again that nothing was her fault, that she was beautiful and kind and deserved better. For that Lexa would have given her anything in the world in gratitude.

For Clarke it was just natural to want to help people. Lexa had only known her a little while and she already knew that much about her. Kindness was just in her nature yet Lexa got the feeling that Clarke could be formidable if pushed too far.

"We're here. I have to warn you. This place might be a little rougher than you are used to but you'll be safe with me and the food is great."

"I'm sure it will be Clarke," Lexa replied, enthralled with the way her blue eyes danced as she spoke and how her voice became soft and musical.

She genuinely seemed to be pleased to be spending time with Lexa, her teeth visible as her lips parted into a smile. She seemed just like any woman like this and Lexa felt that she was seeing the real Clarke or at least a real part of her that few ever got to see.

"They make the best soups you have ever tasted," Clarke continued, "and their desserts... God you have to try the apple pie. It's delicious. Just stay close to me until we get a table."

Lexa hesitated for a second and Clarke stopped seeing the fear in her eyes. Clarke turned and rubbed her arm soothingly staring deep into her eyes.

"Hey. No one will recognise you here. This is the poorest part of town. They wouldn't be caught dead in here."

Lexa had been frozen to the spot, images of someone seeing her and informing her parents, images of Darius and the public humiliation of him denouncing her as a deviant creature. Clarke rubbed her arm up and down softly giving her time to calm.

"We don't have to go in if it's too much. We can always do something else today. We have time."

Her voice was so calm, so reassuring that Lexa let go of the fear trusting Clarke not to take any foolish risks.

"No. I want to," she said with certainty.

"If you're sure. Just tell me if you're not. You can always tell me."

Lexa gazed at her wondering if it was possible to fall in love with someone you barely knew. Except that Lexa felt that she knew Clarke better than anyone knew her. A cascade of words wanted to spill from her lips telling Clarke this but instead she just answered, "I know," in a whisper and Clarke took hold of her hand and entwined their fingers.

"It's a date then. Let's go."

Clarke walked forward, Lexa letting her lead her into the large tavern, hand in hand.

 

 

 

 


	6. New Faces, New Alliances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven meets Anya, the leader of the Trikru Warriors and Wanheda helps a revolutionary in a bid to end the wars between Arkadia and Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter. I've been busy thinking through the plot and with some personal stuff but I'll try not to leave it too long between updates.

Clarke woke up before dawn in Lexa's bed, the princesses' arm lying across her stomach. Lexa was fast asleep on her side facing Clarke. Her breaths were slow and deep and  Clarke paused, taken aback by how peaceful she was. Lexa was beautiful, there was no doubt about that but she had something more than just mere beauty.

Clarke studied her as an artist would, memorising the delicate lines, her long eyelashes resting gently against her skin, her jawline, her nose. Clarke wanted to trace each inch of her, still unable to believe that she was real. She lingered in the moment, wishing that she had time to draw her and to commit the moment to memory. Instead she brushed Lexa's hair back from her forehead, pushing the wild locks out of her eyes and running her fingers through the soft brown waves.

Clarke smiled to herself grateful for the moment and wondered as she had many times since meeting Lexa how anyone could ever meet her and want to hurt her. She was the sweetest, kindest person Clarke had ever met, her heart so full of innocence. She never expected anything from anyone.

_I can't ever let the darkness get to her again. Something has to be done to fix this._

"You deserve better," Clarke whispered, placing a kiss on Lexa's forehead.

Lexa didn't even stir and Clarke sighed and got out of the bed more determined than ever to keep Lexa safe from the danger she faced daily. If that meant that they could only have moments, that it would eventually come to an end, then so be it. Clarke would protect her whatever happened.

She dressed, still watching her sleep, only pausing to pull her top over her head. She turned her head away, deep in thought as she pulled up her trousers and buttoned them.

What was she doing? Lexa was _married_. Not that Clarke felt any guilt about keeping her away from her husband. It took every ounce of self control for Clarke not to murder him as soon as he entered the room. Lexa was a Princess from a rival kingdom and Arkadia and Polis had been bitter enemies for decades. Her head told her that this was complicated and messy, that this couldn't end well for her.

But her heart...

She pursed her lips together, blinking as she pushed the thoughts away. She steeled herself pulling her blue jacket on.

Time to go to work.

 

"So you're the big, bad warrior that people keep talking about. You know everyone thinks that you're Wanheda right?"

Raven should've been more scared walking into Anya's outdoor camp. The woman was intimidating and sat on a chair at the front of the room like it was her throne. Her face was blank, her eyes narrowed. She wore a long, black leather coat and a thick, metal band around her head like a crown. The studs on her jacket and the warpaint smudged around her eyes gave her a formidable appearance.

"I am not Wanheda," she replied as if the mere thought of it annoyed her. "I am Anya of the Trikru warriors."

"Oh, I know," Raven replied with a grin. "Everyone knows. You were once a general at Polis and you left and set up your own army, taking a significant chunk of their soldiers with you. That's pretty badass. What did they do to you?"

Anya raised her head, despite herself, a slight smirk forming at the corners of her mouth.

"What makes you assume that they did anything?"

Raven walked forward, her leg moving better than it had done before but still not at full speed. She noticed Anya's eyes fall to her limp and felt a little deflated. Was everyone she met going to pity her from now on? Yet she saw no pity in Anya's eyes when she met them with her own.

"Come on," she replied, cocking her head to the side, "I'm a genius remember. You don't train your whole life, work your way up to being the first female general in the kingdom and then just bail."

Anya observed her coolly. Raven thought that she might have even impressed her.

"It's interesting how certain you was that I'm not Wanheda. I hear rumours that you work for her."

"With her," Raven joked. "And how are you so sure it's _her_?"

Anya rose from her makeshift throne and walked forward, maintaining eye contact. It should've made Raven nervous but it didn't. She knew that she should be deeply afraid of this woman, if even half of the stories were true but something about her made Raven cocky just to see how much she could get away with.

Anya squared up to Raven as if to intimidate her. The actual effect it had on her was more than unexpected. Intimidated was not the word she would use to describe the thrill that raced through her body as she stared back into the warrior woman's eyes.

"Of course Wanheda is female. A man would be louder in his attacks. He would want everyone to give him credit for his heroics. Wanheda has concealed herself and worked in the shadows to bring her enemies down. A man would just use force."

Raven scoffed, almost wanting to laugh.

"You have a low opinion of men. They aren't all like that. Some can be good."

Anya rolled her eyes.

"Some but war is better done by a woman. A woman will use her mind first."

Raven did laugh now, unable to supress one from bursting from her lips.

"It depends on the individual I guess but philosophy aside why did you want me here?"

Something blazed in Anya's eyes at her words and Raven realised the double meaning behind her words.

"I mean to seduce you to find out who Wanheda is."

"Are you serious? Do you really think for one second that I would betray my friends like that?"

"Friends?" Anya replied with an air of confidence.

Raven felt a sting of anger. She had never betrayed Wanheda ever and within a few minutes of meeting this woman she had slipped up.

"I'll die before I betray them."

"I know..."

Anya stepped even closer, placing one hand on Raven's neck. The brunette was taken aback by her boldness. In truth, she was highly attracted to her. She was fierce and cocky. She was a leader. Anya leaned in closer to whisper in her ear.

"But it will be fun to try..."

Anya's voice was barely even a whisper now, her hot breath on Raven's cheek.

"I promise I will make it enjoyable for you."

Raven knew that she should resist but as Anya guided her head forward and proceeded to make out with her in the middle of the room as if it was nothing. Her body began to respond, getting hotter and hotter until she was burning to be touched and somewhere in the middle of it all, Raven decided that a little fling couldn't hurt. After all, she hadn't been with a single person since Wick and that had ended badly. After Finn each time someone came close to her or wanted more than just a night with her, she ran from it. Sex, she could deal with but love....

_No thanks_

She'd had enough of love since the day she'd discovered Finn sleeping with Clarke.  
Clarke hadn't known about her. Finn barely knew her and Raven had been away for a few months, scavenging for parts and ingredients as she liked to do every so often. Her heart had broken that day and she hadn't even been able to hate either of them. Finn had clearly fallen for Clarke within just two weeks of knowing her. It was odd that after everything Clarke and Raven's friendship was the one constant that had remained in her life.

And then he had messed up everything and he'd died and Raven had slapped her across the face and told her never to speak to her again.

"You're thinking far too much," said Anya, noticing her mood change. "I have a solution for that. Follow me."

Raven didn't resist, again seemingly unable to be anything but compliant to Anya. She followed her into another section of the tent kept private by a black and red fabric curtain. She usually pretended to be cocky, always acting confident around people to hide her fear of being hurt but this woman seemed to merely have to command her and Raven lost all semblance of self control.

 

  
Clarke sat down at the table across from Wells Jaha. He was a sensible, young, fairly handsome man she noted but not really her type.

From her intel she knew that he wanted social change, that his father was a powerful, corrupt lord in Polis and that he had severed connections with him. She also knew that refused his wealth in protest of his father's actions towards the people and that Wells lived with the poorer folk, campaigning and gaining support for a rebellion. 

The King and Queen dismissed it as peasant rabble rousing but Clarke had observed his progress. He had enough followers to overthrow the royal rule and a plan to keep them just as state figureheads with no real power to appease the lords when they took over. Clarke was impressed with how thorough and intelligent his planning had been.

"Are you ready?" she asked, the blue mask and hood covering her face and hair.

"Almost. Everything is prepared as we planned. Here."

He pushed the papers forward. She read then carefully, checking each line for possible future problems.

"And this is binding, permanantly?"

"Yes. No one will even know of your involvment. They will think that I did all of this alone."

Clarke could see that he thought her a hero. She wanted to tell him how wrong he was. She was just trying to survive, to keep her people alive.

"You did most of the work, I just invested a few resources. This benefits us both. You get rid of your worst enemy. Your kingdom gets a better ruler and Polis and Arkadia can finally have peace."

Wells did not smile. Her words seem to ease his worries but he was still sombre.

"The conflicts should have never happened. The people are beginning to see our rulers for who they are. I thought my father a good man, he always seemed like he wanted to help but he was willing to sacrifice our people for his ideals. The power became too much for him. It distorted him."

Though he didn't say it, Clarke knew what was really bothering him.

"You are not going to be a leader like him. You've already proven that you are different by doing this. Stay calm and sensible and do what's best for your people and you will be a great leader."

Wells raised his eyebrows, staring at her. She had seen that look many times. He was wondering who she was under the mask of Wanheda. Her outfit was shaped to try to hide what gender she was and give nothing away, though it had been hard to hide her breasts.

When she had first seen herself in it she had known that the disguise would work. It was enigmatic and elusive. It allowed her to hide in plain sight when she needed, a large cloak enough to cover her, the mask over her nose and mouth keeping her face hidden, her hair tied back, out if sight. Raven had designed it well. They hadn't parted on good terms. Clarke could only hope one day Raven would forgive her and they could salvage their friendship. They still worked together regardless and Raven had warned her 'not to die out there' before she had left. That gave her some hope that she was beginning to forgive just a little. Either way she was one of Clarke's people and she would fight to protect her until the end.

"Send word when you are ready to proceed with the plan."

"I will," replied Wells, eyeing her as she stood up to go.

He wanted to see her face, she knew that. People had a hard time trusting someone who covered their face. She would never show it to him of course, but people were always curious.

She left without a word, her thoughts filled with variables and possibilities. She considered each action, each consequence. Everyone had their weakness and she could always find it. They would never see it coming.


	7. Promises Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Anya decided to continue their affair while Clarke loses her temper with Darius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Domestic abuse scene but this will be reducing greatly from this point onwards.  
> There is also some internalised homophobia and Lexa may be out of character in this story because of how different her upbringing has been.

"So... this was not how I imagined the meeting to go."

Raven and Anya were on their backs in the tent, only in their underwear. Raven's hair was down from it's usual ponytail, loose and wild. She wore a grin that she couldn't quite get rid of, feeling thoroughly sated.

"This was exactly how I imagined it going," Anya replied getting up and pouring a drink.

She offered Raven one but she refused sitting up instead.

"I should get going. Bellamy will be wondering how it went down."

Anya smirked and Raven couldn't help but flash her a smile.

"You know what I mean."

Anya took a sip from her glass and turned her head away.

"So. Have you changed your mind? Will you tell me what I need to know?"

"Not a chance."

The woman turned back to her at the refusal, leaning in to cup her face.

"Well then I shall have to arrange more meetings until you submit."

There was amusement in her eyes. Raven wanted to refuse her. She knew that she should. They'd had their fun and it was time for it to end but life had been pretty cruel to Raven and she wanted to hold onto something pleasurable, something good.

"Can't get enough of me already?" she teased, tilting her head sideways.

Anya wore a cool expression, as if to act like she didn't care either way but Raven saw the corners of her lips curve up. Anya wasn't quite as immune to her charms as she pretended to be.

"I will contact you soon Raven Reyes."

"Just Raven. I think we're on a first name basis after that."

Their eyes met in passing as Raven saw herself out and she could swear that she caught Anya's eyes lower to check her out as she passed.

  
When Clarke returned to the palace she was confident that things were running smoothly. She had changed back into her usual clothes and was headed to find Lexa. When Clarke knocked on her bedroom door there was no answer. She opened it to find the room empty. There was a large study room that Lexa often like to read in. Clarke closed the door and strode towards the study.

When she heard Darius' voice she stopped dead

"I own you. You got it! I own you!"

Clarke charge immediately into the room like a bulldozer. Darius held her against the wall one hand against her neck. Before he could even speak Clarke punched him full force putting herself between him and Lexa.

"Get your hands off her. Don't touch her."

"You can't command me," he roared.

He rushed to attack her but she dodged, kicked him viciously in the shin and grabbed him. She pressed the side of her lower arm and wrist against his neck. He struggled and she pressed the bone in harder. He stopped moving knowing that she had him defenceless now.

"Let me make this easy for you. You don't touch her. You don't hurt her. You don't even _speak_ to her. If I find out that you've hurt her again, I will end you."

Clarke's voice was low, threatening.

"She's my wife!" he rasped.

Clarke pressed the side of her wrist tighter against his neck and he gasped for air.

"Do you really want me to tell the people that you ran up all that debt last year?"

He glared back at her but didn't reply. She released her grip and threw him down. He calmed, realising that he could not beat her.

"How can you know?"

Clarke flashed him a cocky smile, lifting her head to meet his eyes.

"Who do you think owns the publishing company that the King and Queen invested in?"

His eyes widened in alarm.

"That's right. Go ahead. Try to hit me again. You're pretty tough against someone who can't fight back. Hit _me_. I _dare_ you."

He knew that he couldn't. She could see it in his eyes. She had him right where she wanted and even if he wanted to he could do nothing about it. This was precisely why she had made sure that the Woods family had invested in her company. She had known about their debts and wanted leverage. However he might hate her he couldn't touch her.

He stood there just seething instead but he made no move to attack her or Lexa. Eventually he stormed slamming the door behind him and Clarke immediately turned to Lexa.

Her eyes were wide with shock. She didn't speak but Clarke could see that she was deeply shaken and that this was far from the first time he had laid his hands on her.

"Hey. It's okay," she reassured, her voice soft and calm as she rubbed Lexa's arms. "He won't hurt you again. I won't let him."

Lexa swallowed and blinked, as Clarke continued to rub her arms in reassurance. She seemed frozen, unable to communicate.

"It's okay," Clarke just. repeated "I'll die before I let him hurt you again. It's okay."

Lexa stared at the floor and it broke Clarke's heart to see her seem so defeated. She had been opening up. She had been happier and more talkative.

"Thank you," Lexa said in a quiet voice.

"You don't need to thank me. It's my job to protect good people and that includes you."

"It's my fault," she said, her eyes averted. "I was supposed to bear him children, supposed to please him but I'm defective."

Clarke's eyes steeled over in determination and she guided Lexa to meet her eyes.

"No Lexa, look at me. There is nothing wrong with you. Everything they taught you was wrong. They made the mistake. They married you to him knowing that you couldn't be attracted to him. You are not to blame for any of this, they are."

Lexa stared back into her blue eyes with gratitude. Clarke could see her pain but she could see some hope there. She was beginning to get through to her. The lies they had filled her head with were beginning to weaken. They had brainwashed her from birth to be subservient and Clarke would free her from their control if it was the last thing that she did.

"Do you want to go to your room and read a while, take a breather?"

Lexa was gazing at her still with what Clarke could only describe as gratitude. She shook her head.

Lexa was very still, a picture of grace despite what she had endured. She seemed hesitant. Even though she didn't speak Clarke knew she just wanted distracting from her pain. There was a connection between them. They both just wanted to forget for a night, to not have to talk about it. Clarke knew not to push her until she wanted to talk.

"Or... we could spend a night away from the palace. We'll be back before anyone misses us."

"Where?" Lexa asked, finally breaking her silence.

Clarke smiled and raised one eyebrow.

"I know a place that we can forget about everything for a while. No Princess, no Wanheda, no pressures, just us."

Lexa seemed to relax at this, the fear beginning to disolve from her. She blinked and nodded in agreement.

Clarke beamed at her and brushed Lexa's hair back from her face.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want tonight. If at any point you want to come home, we'll leave, okay?"

Clarke saw the beginning of a smile forming as Lexa's deep eyes seemed to stare into hers forever. She let out her breath and held out her hand. Lexa stared at it silently and took a deep breath before giving her hand to Clarke.

There was an unspoken communication between them, an understanding. Somehow they knew each other without needing words. Neither of them uttered a word as Clarke led her out of the palace and into the outside world.

Clarke could feel something tugging at her heart, something stirring as she led the princess away from the palace. She felt a protective warmth whenever she was with this woman. Whatever happened between them in the future, one thing Clarke was sure of what that she would keep her promise to Lexa to keep her safe. That was the bargain they'd always had without ever having to voice it. From the first night they had stepped over that threshold Clarke had made her a promise to protect her, to never mistreat her and to respect Lexa's choices without question. She would never tell her how to live her life as everyone else had. She could give her at least that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. They Can't Take This Away From Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shows Lexa a completely different environment from what she knows and their relationship deepens. Lexa has a revelation after some self acceptance. Some smut.

The dark cloak covered Lexa's hair as Clarke held her hand through the crowd. It was busy inside the building. People were dancing and drinking alcohol. The noise was deafening but Lexa was fascinated. Something about this place felt primal, free almost. She noticed two women kissing openly in the middle of the crowd. Men danced with men or women. No one seemed to have any fear in doing so.

From her left, a man started shouting and pushed another man away. A fight broke out and Lexa froze but Clarke immediately led her away from them and towards the bar. A burly, bald man sat at the end of the bar, holding a large tankard. He eyed them both and then turned away without care.

"What do you want to drink?" Clarke asked.  
"It's mostly alcoholic but you can get something softer if you want."

Lexa felt strange in casual clothes and amongst the working class people. She had barely interacted with anyone outside her own class beyond Clarke and her handmaidens.

"You decide. I don't know what they serve."

Clarke nodded and ordered for them both. She handed Lexa a tankard and she took it awkwardly but felt a weird thrill at being in such a different environment. Clarke arranged a room for them later and reassured Lexa yet again that they could always return to the palace if Lexa wished.

"Drink it slowly," Clarke advised. "It's weak alcohol but still stronger than what you're used to."

Lexa took a sip and actually enjoyed the flavour. She glanced around the room, taking in everything around her and when she turned back to Clarke, she found the blonde smiling at her.

"What is it?" Lexa asked in confusion.

"Nothing," Clarke answered. "You're just - very cute."

Clarke took a several gulps from her tankard and tugged her hand. Lexa followed her as Clarke guided her to a gap at the back of the crowd. There were no chairs free, all available tables taken and masses of bodies filling most of the building. The music was fast and blared in deep beats that Lexa found exciting. Clarke placed her tankard on a wooden ledge and moved her body closer to Lexa, the princess very aware that her lovers hands were now ghosting the sides of her arms.

"Dance with me," Clarke asked, in a quiet voice.

She sounded almost vulnerable for once, her eyes burning with desire for something. Lexa recognised it. Clarke wanted more than sex. She wanted intimacy, a connection just as Lexa did.

"I don't know how to. Not like this."

"I'll show you."

A deep fear shot through Lexa as she remembered that they were in public. Just holding hands with another woman was enough to make a scandal. She eyed a couple of women kissing. They were hungry, unashamed. Lexa wished she could be like that, wished that she be allowed to be herself.

As usual, Clarke noticed her fear right away. Sometimes it was as if Clarke could read her mind. She always seemed to know what Lexa was thinking without asking. Most people couldn't read Lexa at all and found her silence uninteresting. Clarke she had found to be naturally more talkative and yet she never seemed bothered by Lexa's shy demeaner.

"No one knows who we are here," Clarke reminded her, running her left hand along the curve of Lexa's shoulder, her touch sensual and deliberate.

Lexa could not look away from those eyes, those blue eyes that she daydreamed about when she was alone. Clarke seemed very happy to be with Lexa in public and she pulled Lexa closer, her right hand wrapping around her waist. Lexa let out a breath and found herself drawn forward. Clarke was phenomenally attractive, her body curvaceous, her eyes bright and intelligent and her lips... oh her lips... They were unique, pink and curved. 

Many ladies in high circles used makeup to make their lips appear more voluptuous and thick. Staring at Clarke's lips closed and turning up in that manner that made her appear wilful and defiant, she couldn't for a second understand wanting anything else. Lexa became hypnotised by them.

_It's worth the risk._

The thought suddenly overtook Lexa, just as her lust had that first night when she had submitted to her desires. She wanted this more than she had ever wanted anything and she could not fight her true nature anymore.

She leaned in closer, her head tilted, slowly closing her eyes. In seconds they were making out like there was no one else in the room, caught up in the heat that always eventually overcome them when they were together.

Lexa pushed Clarke up against the wall and Clarke spun her as if to shield her from then crowd behind her. Her lips disconnected from Lexa's so slowly, the pressure of them lingering. Lexa was breathing rapidly, her eyes still closed. She opened them slowly, the warmth of Clarke's body against her own sending her mind into a madness. Clarke's eyes were fixed on her, steadfast in their desire for Lexa.

 _She is as desperate for this as I am_ Lexa realised. _She is so strong and so capable but she needs this too._

"See, no one here cares," Clarke said, nodding towards the crowd behind her who danced and drank and partied in blissful ignorance.

She was always putting Lexa first, checking on her, making sure that she felt safe. She took on all the burdens of responsibility without thinking of herself. Her life was all duty just as Lexa's was and she was just as much misunderstand and alone too. It was what connected them. It was what Lexa had seen in her eyes from the first moment they had met. It was impossible but it was all they had.

Lexa threw herself back into kissing Clarke and threw back her head to allow Clarke access to her neck. Hungry kisses moved softly down her jaw and her neck, lighting a fire in her body. Clarke's hands moved into secret places and Lexa allowed it.

It was a weird joy to be allowed this in a public place. Lexa had wished for so long for it. Just to hold hands, just to kiss, just to be allowed to be a couple in public as men and women were. Her family had shamed her for it her whole life but they were wrong.

Clarke was right. She had told her many times that she couldn't change who she was, that she would never be happy with a man and Lexa had resigned herself to an unhappy life filled with duty but no joy. But as Clarke sucked on her neck, shielding her from the sight of the crowd, nothing had ever felt so right in her life. How Clarke had known that this was her route to accepting it she didn't know but she understood why Clarke had acted as she had the first time they had met and with a moment's sadness she realised that, to Clarke, this was about helping Lexa and that meant that one day she would leave again.

Lexa pushed away the thought wanting to hold onto every moment before they separated. It this was her chance to be happy and it had a time limit then she would give in to it completely. Even if they would have to go their separate ways one day, Lexa would still have the memories to treasure. They could never take that from her.

It was in that moment Lexa felt that her parents and Darius and everyone who had ever mistreated her had lost their power over her. Clarke had done as she promised. She had helped free her.

"I - I'm gay," Lexa said to herself.

It was the first time she had said it out loud for, the first time she had even allowed herself to think the word though she had always known.

Clarke stopped kissing her neck and lifted her head. She cupped Lexa's face with a smile.

"And beautiful. Don't forget beautiful."

She placed a sweet kiss on Lexa's lips as if to reward her confession.

"Do you wanna go upstairs? I think it's a good idea to do this when we're still fairly sober."

Lexa nodded.

"Let's go upstairs," she replied.

Had anyone else been paying attention they might have noticed the blonde commander of death leading the Princess of Polis upstairs by the hand but no one did and they slipped away with no thoughts to the consequences of what they were doing.

  
A Few Weeks Later

"Hey there."

Lexa beamed as she recognised the voice and closed her book. She was in the study alone and Clarke had been extra busy the last fews days finishing her novel, out performing what Lexa guessed were heroics as Wanheda. She turned and greeted her with a kiss, knowing that they were completely alone.

"So I was thinking..." Clarke drawled, wrapping her arms around Lexa waist in a lazy manner, "That we could revisit our room at the club tonight and have a little fun."

Clarke was like this all the time with Lexa now, flirty and suggestive. She knew that it made Lexa feel a normal woman and not like a princess. Darius barely ever interacted with Lexa anymore, too scared of Clarke. Any time he even attempted to be intimidating, Clarke just gave him a look, daring him to keep going and he backed away and left. The palace felt safe for Lexa for the first time since before she had married him and when Clarke returned from her work as always, Lexa's heart soared at the sight of her.

They went on dates. Clarke brought her gifts occassionally. They shared books. Clarke even taught her how to cook some of the food from her kingdom. Clarke wasn't much if a chef and most of it was simple, practical food but it was more enjoyable and satisfying than she had expected. Clarke sometimes even sketched just for her and gave her drawings to keep.

"I brought you something," Clarke said happily, one day. "You'll love it."

"What is it?"

Clarke removed her arms from Lexa's waist and picked up the gift bag she had brought. She held it out it to Lexa with a broad smile.

"Here."

Lexa reached into the bag and found a book. She studied it for a moment.

"It's my favourite book. It's about a shy wealthy daughter of a scientist named Charlotte who falls in love with a vampire and becomes one herself. This is the second book where she becomes infatuated with a ballerina named Violet. It's really good. Plus there's one scene that's really hot.

Lexa gave her a knowing look.

"What? It's not porn. It's a romance. It's actually really deep and there's all this philosophy about women and religion and how disobedient women were culturally villified for rejecting male authority."

Clarke moved her hands as she spoke, going into the writer part of her personality now. Lexa loved how passionate she was, how deeply she cared about everything. She wanted the world to be better and dared to challenge the status quo.

"A candle!" Lexa exclaimed as she reached into the bag.

Clarke chuckled as the princess held up the decorative blue candle in front of her face beaming with joy.

"What is it with you and candles Lexa?"

Lexa shrugged, a smile still plastered across her lips. She gently placed the gifts back in the bag. Everything she did, she did carefully and with grace. She was always controlled, always thoughtful.

Clarke loved how different she was when they made love. Lexa became hungry and unrestrained. She lost herself. She more and more frequently liked to be on top and take more charge, gaining more confidence in their encounters and Clarke welcomed her advances without judgment. They were completely at ease with each other, no awkwardness remaining between them.

Lexa thought she saw a wist of sadness in Clarke's smile. She had been seeing it more and more and feared what it meant.

"You have to go soon don't you?" she asked sadly.

"I've stayed here too long," Clarke replied, her eyes full of an apology.

Lexa swallowed and nodded.

"When do you leave?"

"We've got some time yet. Don't worry. I won't just disappear on you. I promise."

Lexa clenched her eyes shut and then opened them. She couldn't bear the thought of Clarke leaving but they both knew that it was inevitable.

"So, tonight? I'll book the room in advance then?"

"Of course Clarke," Lexa replied, smiling at her attempts to raise the mood and change the subject.

"Great but first..."

Lexa's smile widened. She knew what that tone meant. Clarke grinned and Lexa couldn't help but grin back tilting her head and leaning forward without even thinking.

It was just natural to kiss Clarke now, natural to run her hands over her body, over her breasts, it was natural to push her jacket back until it fell off and hit the floor. Her hands went to Clarke's trousers of their own accord and began to unbutton them and slip into her underwear. She loved how Clarke's breathing changed, how Clarke gasped slightly as Lexa's fingers met her skin, running through the small patch of hair to slip inside her. Lexa chuckled.

"What?" Clarke asked with a smile, her eyes still closed.

"You're always horny."

"You're the one with your hands down my pants," Clarke teased opening her eyes.

Lexa's face became a mask as she feigned seriousness.

"Yes I am. Do you want me to stop?"

She slipped her fingers in deeper, running them down and back up to skim over Clarke's most sensitive spot.

" _God_ no!" Clarke rasped, closing her eyes and leaning her head back.

Lexa continued slipping lower and returning to circle the bundle and Clarke began to breathe faster and faster.

"Lexa," she moaned. "Don't stop. Just like that."

Clarke loved to talk during sex. Lexa had noticed this about her. Sometimes they didn't say a word. They didn't always need to but often Clarke was instructive and patient and couldn't help but voice how turned on she was. Lexa enjoyed it thoroughly and it only spurred her on more.

"Oh God lower, yeah just there, yeah deeper, I want you inside me."

Clarke moaned even louder as her fingers slipped inside and began to move in and out in deliberately, slow motions.

"Oh God, faster. God. Lexa. _God!_ "

Clarke's body stiffened and then spasmed repeatedly. She clung onto Lexa, gripping her shoulder. As she cried out in orgasm she was only able to say one word in that moment as was usual for the blonde. Lexa slowed and let her ride it out and when Clarke seemed to have reached maximum fulfillment, she withdrew her fingers and watched Clarke slowly open her eyes, her breathing still rapid. Clarke just smiled and Lexa leaned in for a kiss, a soft one to reconnect them.

_Whatever happens, I will always care for this woman. She will never be out of my thoughts._

Lexa brushed back Clarke's hair with the thought echoing in her mind.

_I think I'm in love with you._

She wouldn't say it out loud. It would make Clarke feel guilty when she left and she wouldn't do that not after everything Clarke had done for her but Lexa felt it in her heart. She was in love with Clarke, the greatest enemy of her kingdom and there's nothing she wouldn't risk for that.

 


	9. The Delinquents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy struggles to calm Octavia's temper while we learn what happened to Finn. 
> 
> Clarke wakes from a nightmare about her past and finds comfort in Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is heavily focussed on war so there is battle-related violence and depictions of multiple violent deaths so take care if this is a trigger for you. Also features some PTSD symptoms but is minimal.

"What the hell is she still doing there? It's been months."

Octavia stormed into Bellamy's room and threw the note at him. He lounged on his bed reading, taking the time to relax after a long day managing Arkadia in Clarke's absence.

"You know she likes to take her time, O. She'll get it done."

He didn't even look up from his book as he spoke but he didn't need to see Octavia to know that she was still angry at being left out of the loop. They hadn't told any of the others of her plans until she had gone, well aware of the arguing that would ensue. The delinquents were the only ones who knew about Clarke's identity and though they were absolutely loyal they certainly liked to question Bellamy and Clarke's decisions at every turn.

"We need her _here_. There's rumours of unrest in Polis. What if they decide to attack us again."

Bellamy turned the page refusing to indulge her worries further.

"We have the advantage. They lost too many warriors. They lost three hundred in the battle and Anya took another five hundred with her when she left. Their army is halved."

"You said they had triple our numbers and much better equipment."

Bellamy lifted his gaze, raising his eyebrows.

" _Had_ , O. We've knocked their numbers down since then and our army has grown threefold. Clarke had Raven work on new technology to improves our chances of winning, Murphy and Emori got hold of better equipment, mostly by stealing it from other armies and Lincoln convinced his tribe to stand with us against Polis to bolster our numbers. We are in a stronger position than _ever_ and everyone knows it."

Octavia still seemed unconvinced but her temper was subsiding.

"Indra agreed to fight with us?"

Bellamy sighed and closed his book. He got to his feet.

" _Yes_. Polis had been attacking their villages for years. We agreed to a treaty. Arkadia and the tribe are now allies."

His sister groaned.

"They hate us. Why would this guy Lincoln help us. What does he _really_ want?"

"He just wants peace as we do and he knows that we will respect the boundaries of the tribal villages. He's honourable. We can trust him."

Octavia scowled at him.

"Honourable! When they forced us all to join the front lines and sent us to our deaths they said it would be an _honourable_ battle. Funny, I don't remember that massacre being _honourable_ at all. We lost Charlotte, we lost Finn, Jasper lost Maya. We lost so many people that day and for what?"

Bellamy rolled his eyes. He had heard this a thousand times.

"I _know_. I got arrested so they would send me too remember?"

"We can't trust _anyone_ ," Octavia said shaking her head. "People die when we do."

Octavia stormed out of the room but Bellamy didn't chase after her. She had been his sweet, innocent little sister once but he barely recognised the woman she was becoming. She angry and jaded. They had all been hit hard by what happened but Octavia seemed changed the most by war.

 

The army charged towards the hundred teenagers sent to defend Arkadia. They were the last hope. Each previous battle had been lost, most of the real soldiers killed or too badly wounded to defend. The real army was far behind them ready to shoot arrows at the enemy but unwilling to face the Polis army head on.

Polis had some of the finest warriors, Arkadia just had frightened soldiers, some archers and several lines of teenagers not expected to survive the onslaught. At the front they'd put the criminals, the deliquents. It had been their ruler's idea. King Wallace was cruel and unkind and cared nothing for the lives of a few criminals.

His General, Marcus Kane had at least tried to give them a chance by sending them Raven Reyes a few weeks earlier, a bright young inventor who he knew was capable of creating powerful explosives.

Clarke had been on that front line, her and Bellamy becoming the unofficial leaders of the 100 since they'd first been sent into battle. They had been sent there to die in what everyone thought was Arkadia's last stand The odds were against them but they would go down fighting and take as many of them down with them as they could.

"No, Finn!"

Clarke had seen him too late. It hadn't been part of the plan. Something had snapped in him at the sight of the enemy and he'd ran forward, swinging his sword at them like a mad man. Clarke had shouted for him to retreat with the others. They would pretend to retreat and lead the enemy into a trap.The whole ground was soaked with the highly flammable chemicals Raven had designed. All Clarke had to do was set it ablaze.

But Finn, he was too far forward and he wasn't returning. He'd lost his senses.

Clarke held the torch screaming his name but he wouldn't return. She saw the Polis army heading for them and knew that she had to choose. Save Finn or let Arkadia fall and everyone else died.

She shouted his name again and he turned but she saw it in his eyes. He looked down at the ground in alarm, well aware what was happening and nodded.

In the end for just a moment he was the Finn she knew again.

Clarke threw the torch and then dove for cover as the entire ground exploded in flames around Finn and the Polis army. She still remembered his face, remembered how he had once said that he loved her and she had told him that she was in love with him too but she made the choice without hesitation.

She had worn the hooded cloak and cloth mask covering her face that Raven had covered with a material designed to withstand the flames and protect her. The fire never harmed her but she was so close to it.

She'd known the previous battles had scarred Finn that the losses had taken a toll but she still couldn't believe how he'd acted and the screams of those warriors and Finn would haunt her nightmares for a long time.

Three hundred warriors and Finn, she burned that day. That was the day Wanheda was born, the commander of death.

Clarke woke up in bed panting, the memory of that day still haunting her dreams. Lexa stirred and put one hand on her chest.

"Clarke?"

She had tried to forget the images but she couldn't. She couldn't forget the charred bodies left on that battlefield or Raven's fist connecting with her face when Clarke tried to apologise or how they all stared at her with shock when they realised what she had done to Finn.

Only the 100 had known that she had planned the trap. Only _they_ knew that Clarke was the person under that mask.

"Clarke!" Lexa repeated, sounding more concerned now.

She turned to face Lexa, who had been sound asleep beside her. Lexa drew her closer to reassure her.

"I just had a nightmare," Clarke admitted. "Bad memories."

"It's okay," Lexa soothed. "You're okay."

Clarke gave a weak smile at Lexa mirroring her usual words.

"It happens sometimes," she said slowly. "We were sent to the front lines. We were expendable."

"Who?" Lexa asked confused. "Why would they send you so young?"

"The 100," Clarke replied, caressing Lexa's wrist without thinking. "We were criminals all of us. Arkadia was going to fall."

Lexa shook her head.

"Wait. A criminal? What was your crime?"

Clarke turned to her, her lips curved downwards.

"Treason," she replied.

Lexa's eyes widened with surprise.

"They murdered my father for trying to tell people what they planned to do. He wanted the people to know what was coming, so they could prepare for it but the King - he was afraid that if everyone knew the truth there would be chaos. He was executed for treason and I was implicated."

"King Wallace. I met him a few times. He always seemed a cruel man."

Clarke seemed to be wrestling with something, as if unsure how much to say.

"I killed him," she admitted. "I led the revolt and took his place. Arkadia has no royalty anymore. Bellamy and I lead Arkadia now or rather Wanheda does."

"Who knows who you really are?" Lexa asked softly.

"Only the 100," Clarke replied, "And you."

Lexa took Clarke's hands in her own.

"The first night we met? How could you know that I would not reveal your secret?"

Clarke met her eyes now.

"I couldn't but I didn't want to lie to you. I couldn't start this with a lie."

Lexa brushed back Clarke's hair and leaned in to hug her, resting her head on Clarke's shoulder.

"You cry out a name in your sleep," she whispered. "Who was Finn?"

Clarke closed her eyes as if to will away the memories.

"A boy I loved. He was one of the delinquents."

"Where is he now?"

Lexa felt Clarke body stiffen and heart pound faster in her chest. She could feel it beating as Clarke spoke, it's wild rhythm betraying her calm manner.

"I killed him to save our people. He ran into our trap and went wild. I had to light the fire to stop the army from destroying us. We were outnumbered, vulnerable. It was our only chance at winning."

Lexa rubbed a hand down Clarke's back.

"You did what you had to."

Clarke's heartbeat was beginning to return to normal. Lexa felt her relaxing and wondered if her friends had reacted differently to her confession. Clarke had seemed wary that Lexa would judge her.

"My friends didn't seem to think so. They blamed me and they're right to. I should've saved him. I should've waited."

"Would they all be dead if you hadn't?"

Clarke paused before responding.

"Yes."

Lexa nuzzled her shoulder and placed a kiss on her neckline still rubbing circles on Clarke's back.

"It wasn't real love," Clarke said in a whisper. "I thought it was but it was more like a first love, a crush. I cared for him but-"

Clarke stopped sharply and Lexa wondered just what she had been about to say. Her heart was pounding now in anticipation but Clarke said nothing further and the words hung unspoken between them. They both feared admitting it as if saying it out loud made it realer and would make it all the harder when she had to leave. Lexa understood the lengths that Clarke would go to for her people and that she would always put them first.

"Lie down with me?" Lexa suggested quietly.

She felt Clarke shift and they both lay down, Clarke wrapping her arms around Lexa as the princess nestled into her body. She felt Clarke relax now and heard her sigh. It was warm and pleasant in her embrace and she felt content with her there. Lexa did not look forward to the day she would return to sleeping alone but she would not take back what they had shared for anything.

 


	10. A Princess Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke observes how the other Princesses avoid and exclude Lexa from their social circle. Clarke and Lexa are interrupted during a private moment and Clarke is surprised by how deep her feelings for Lexa are and how much she wants to protect her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone's great comments. There is some bullying in this chapter but it's more exclusion and spreading rumours than physical.

Clarke knew that she should go back soon. She was delaying her plan. Raven's messages were becoming more urgent. Octavia would be no doubt be pissed at her and Bellamy would have to keep them from acting too rashly and pick up her slack while she spent nights worshipping every inch of Lexa's body and being worshipped by her in return.

Every kiss, every touch was memorised, tattoed inch by inch into her skin. Her desire saw no bounds but it ran deeper than desire. It was affection, tenderness and even just spending time in light conversation with Lexa, even just being in her presence was something she came to treasure. 

She would've left earlier if not for Lexa. Though Darius was not really a problem anymore, by Polis law he still had some claim over her. Even if she found a way to remove him she knew that her the King and Queen would try to force Lexa straight into another marriage and there was no way in hell she would allow that. Whatever the risk she would not leave until she was sure Lexa had her freedom.

Clarke knew the day she had to leave Lexa was fast approaching. She knew that Lexa knew it too. They had been spending a lot of time together and they openly talked about almost anything but the one topic they never mentioned was what happened when Clarke went back to Arkadia.

When Clarke spotted Lexa she was standing beside some of the other princesses from the others kingdoms. The palace often held these fancy events where the princesses were expected to stand together almost like ornaments and greet important visitors to Polis. Lexa had many duties as a a Princess. Her day was often tediously planned out with the other Princesses and most of their activities were frequently held in Polis.

Each day Lexa had to attend lessons in etiquette and elocution. Clarke had once sat in on the lessons and found them excrutiatingly boring. The princesses had no power and really functioned to be married off and to attend public functions, always separated from the princes and lords.

Clarke despised the way that the rulers in the wealthier kingdoms assumed the Princes and Lords to be future leaders and their daughters just to be possessions. In Arkadia, they couldn't afford to overlook the skills that women brought to their society. They needed every citizen to participate in any way they could. Women were soldiers, engineers, leaders, doctors. In Polis and the richer kingdoms women were meant to act polite, look pretty and stand there like a statue.

God Clarke hated these functions. It struck her how Lexa stood out in the crowd. The other princesses seemed vacuous and very happy to just do as they had been trained to. Lexa was naturally still, naturally graceful and beautiful. Her thick luxurious hair had been draped around one side. She wore a simple but phenomenal black dress and Clarke blinked as her eyes scanned over Lexa's curves.

 _Get it together Clarke_ , she told herself, trying to control the sexual desire that stirred in her at the sight of her.

For a second she was caught between deeply private memories of Lexa and their sex encounters and fantasies of undressing her and placing kisses along the delicate curve of Lexa's neck and shoulders. Clarke turned her head away, a little concerned at how much just Lexa's presence in the room affected her entire being.

It wasn't just that Lexa was beautiful. She was stunning, far more stunning than the others, despite how hard they tried. For her it was effortless. A large part of what made her so attractive was that she was just different.

As the others all demanded attention, dressing for it, desperate for it, Lexa expected nothing, not attention, not kindness, not even conversation. She had been conditioned to comform but never quite managed to fit in.

Clarke watched Lexa do everything she was supposed to and observed the tinge of sadness in her eyes, the corner of her mouth twitching downwards just slightly. To casual observers Lexa was just a princess acting as she was supposed to be but Clarke could see how unhappy she was.

She noticed the secrets giggles of the other princesses and the looks of scorn they threw her. They grouped together but Lexa stood apart from them, isolated and they always ignored her.

They whispered about her too. Clarke had overheard them doing so multiple times.

_I hear she prefers women._

_They say she will not bear children._

_She's weird._

Clarke wanted to charge in and admonish them for their cruelty. She felt her anger grow each time she saw how they treated Lexa but she could not and would not publically humiliate her nor would she put Lexa in danger by exposing their relationship..

 _No_ , she thought. _I have to be smart about this. If this secret gets out then she will be an outcast even more and her parents will publicly disown her.  
_

The one who seemed to have the most influence was an irritating princess named Ontari. She seemed to delight in turning everyone against Lexa. Clarke had observed her for a while and knew exactly what she was doing.

She enjoyed being superior. She targeted Lexa because she was everything Ontari was not. Ontari could not stand Lexa's presence because she was good by nature, she was kind and thoughtful and intelligent and compassionate and so so passionate.

Ontari couldn't stand the image of herself in comparison with Lexa because it showed her all of her own faults and for that reason she had made it her mission to bring Lexa as low as she possibly could and to influence everyone else to do the same.

It wrenched at Clarke'a heart to see someone like Lexa being treated so cruelly, being unappreciated.

 _This is what made her fear who she is. It's these people_ Clarke thought. _They told her that she is unnatural. They made her ashamed of a part of her that is beautiful._

Clarke wanted to go over and kiss Lexa in front of all of them just to shock them, just to wipe those smug smiles off their faces. She wanted to force them to face it and shove it in their faces as a big 'screw you' to them all.

Instead she sighed and turned back to find Lexa's eyes on her, curious and full of wonder. Clarke blinked but didn't turn away, trying to convey to her that she wasn't alone, that she was there for her. Lexa's face was transformed and a smile formed at the corners of her lips that broke Clarke into pieces. Lexa's whole mood seemed to change and she seemed stronger and Clarke could not tear her eyes from her.

She had seen how special Lexa was the first time she had looked into her eyes. She hadn't been able to define what she had seen, just Lexa, the real Lexa hidden there behind duty and shyness and sadness. The real Lexa was bright and passionate and charming. The fact that they had convinced her that she wasn't was one of the cruelest lies they had told her.

  
When the event was over and everyone filed out of the room, Lexa lingered behind with Clarke and they drifted towards each other.

"I thought you hated these events," Lexa asked, beaming at her.

_She acts so thrilled just to see me._

Clarke couldn't remember the last time anyone seemed so pleased to see her.

"I do but you're here and I know they make you uncomfortable so..." Clarke tilted her head, "I wanted to be here."

Lexa lowered her head shyly and Clarke brushed back her hair.

"Thank you."

"It's fine but just so you know if I had to listen to one more conversation about dresses I might actually go insane."

Lexa's eyelids lowered and amusement spread across her face and Clarkes lips quirked up in satisfaction at having cheered her up even for just a moment.

"So... is Aden enjoying the new book? I haven't seen him for a while."

"He hasn't stopped talking about the new character, Heda?"

"Yeah. What do you think of her?"

"I'm a few pages behind her so I haven't reached that point yet."

Clarke smiled raising her chin.

"Ah. Well you'll have to tell me what you think. I like her very much."

 

Lexa nodded and then lazily leaned forward, tilting her head. She pressed her lips to Clarke's and they melted into each other as theirs mouths moved together

softly,

sweetly,

sensually...

Their arms wound around each other, drawing their bodies closer, sharing tentative touches, Clarke's left hand resting on the back of Lexa's shoulder as the princess lost herself in the kiss, pillowed lips moving against pink lips, Lexa sighing as she pulled back to tilt her head in the opposite direction, to keep her neck from aching.

Lexa's hands were snaking up around Clarke's waist, while Clarke seemed content not to move at all, as if she wanted nothing more than the sensation of kissing Lexa and their private moment where the rest of the world fell away.

"You're sleeping with _her_."

The familiar voice snapped them out of it and Clarke immediately felt Lexa's body stiffen with fear as they both snapped their heads around to see Darius standing in the entrance to the throne room.


	11. Heat of the Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darius pushes Clarke too far again and the true extent of Clarke's authority is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you were worried about Lexa but no one is going to hurt her now, Clarke will make sure of that. Thanks also for your great comments. I really appreciate it as I wasn't that confident writing that last chapter and they gave me the boost to write this one today. Thanks!

Darius was a picture of malevolance in the doorway of the room. He started a tirade at Clarke, acting his usual entitled self. Clarke was unaffected but she knew that Lexa was scared so she kept calm to show her that it would all be fine.

It had been careless of them to get caught. They'd both completely forgotten where they were. Clarke kept her hand on Lexa's back sensing the negative emotions rising in her. Lexa wasn't just afraid. She was terrified and Clarke knew how much she feared people knowing about her. Even though she knew there were rumours about her sexuality, getting caught in the act and having someone see it in reality was something else entirely.

Darius by contrast just became more and more enraged his anger only intensifying and when charged forward to yell at Lexa, Clarke snapped her head to watch him for getting too close.

"How _dare_ you? I am your husband. How dare you cheat on me? And with a _woman_."

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on. How many women have you cheated on her with? But it's okay for you right? You can do what you want."

His face went red and he glared at Clarke like he wanted to kill her.

"This is nothing to do with you. She's mine. I _own_ her."

He surged forward and grabbed Lexa's arm and something snapped inside Clarke. She grabbed him, punched him in the jaw and kicked him in the groin ruthlessly. He doubled over and gasped but she pushed him backwards and watched him fall down. she was ruthless and fierce, like a lioness. Darius seemed smaller now as Clarke stood above  pressing her hard boot into his neck.

She wanted nothing more than to keep going for what he'd done but she held back. It was scary how calm she felt.

"I warned you," she told him. "You want someone to hit then hit me. I _dare_ you. You think that you can act however you want without consequences but you can't."

Clarke leaned closer, emphasising her words.

"If you _ever_ touch her again, I will beat you until you can barely stand and throw you in the worst dungeon I can find and there will be nothing you can do to stop me."

The King and Queen must've heard the commotion because they entered the room suddenly. Their eyes widened in shock and Clarke released him. She didn't back away however and met their gaze without fear.

"What is going on here? How _dare_ you?"

Darius scrambled backwards and to his feet, rushing to cower next to the king.

"They are sleeping together," he said pointing at Clarke. "Your daughter is having sex with this woman."

Clarke gave him a cocky smile as if to challenge him to do something about it and when the King and Queen began to yell at her in rage, again she was completely unfazed . Lexa meanwhile still seemed terrified and confused and Clarke turned to her and started to reassure her in a low voice not caring now if they saw.

"Don't worry. I won't let them hurt you. I promise. You'll be safe."

Lexa nodded, her eyes darting away from her parents outraged faces but Clarke turned and faced them head on taking Lexa's hand in her own and standing by her side.

"You will leave immediately and say nothing further of this!" The Queen yelled, "This will end right now. We have discussed this before. A princess cannot indulge these abnormal desires. It will shame us all. You will end this Alexandria."

"No," Clarke said, shaking her head. "That's up to Lexa. She can make her own decisions."

Lexa was barely able to speak with fear but Clarke squeezed her hand to remind her that she was with her. Her heart was racing and all she could imagine was being forced to be with Darius again or being married off to another man who would mistreat her. The thoughts in her head were swirling out of her control. How could Clarke protect her? She knew that Clarke was involved in spying for Arkadia and that she had been a soldier but she had no privilege, no power. How could she possibly save her from her parents, who ruled an entire Kingdom.

"You cannot defy me. I am the Queen of Polis. You will do as I say."

"No," Clarke repeated. "I won't."

If the Queen was furious before, she was livid now but Clarke stood her ground.

"We will have you thrown in the dungeon. We will-"

Clarke stepped forward meeting her eyes directly.

"You won't do anything. You _can't._ Or are you really going to lock up Wanheda and risk a war with Arkadia again."

The room become absolutely quiet. No one said anything, all of them shocked at her admission but Clarke turned to the only person who opinion she cared about.

"Lexa?"

The Princess was staring at her open mouthed. She hadn't realised. How could she have not realised. It all made sense now. Of course Clarke was Wanheda. She wrote the character in such detail. She knew how to sneak from the palace. She could disable Darius in seconds even though he was double her size and she had been the one who had sacrificed Finn for her people. She had become Wanheda that very day. Clarke had even told her she had worn garments to cover her face from the flame. How had she missed it?

Then Lexa realised. Clarke was more powerful than her parents. Arkadia was in a much stronger position now. Everyone knew it. Everyone feared Wanheda. She had obliterated every opponent she had faced. It hit Lexa all at once. Her parents could do nothing to Clarke. They couldn't stop this.

Lexa could see the fear spread across the faces of Darius and her parents. They all knew that they couldn't match her.

"I-I'm fine. It's just a surprise that's all. It changes nothing between us."

Clarke sighed and nodded, refusing to show anything but strength in front of the others now that they knew she was the ruler of Arkadia.

"Do you want to go back to your room and talk?" Clarke asked, acting as if the others weren't even in the room.

Lexa nodded and Clarke turned and gave Darius and the King and Queen an expecting look. Lexa marvelled at her boldness, at her fearlessness. The King said little, Darius muttered angrily to himself but the Queen spoke out with restrained rage.

"Eventually you will leave and Lexa will have to give up these - unnatural passions. She is my daughter and Darius is her husband. She belongs with a man."

Clarke's blue eyes met the Queen's with a challenge in them. She leaned closer to the Queen, holding back her own rage from the monarch

"The man you married her to, knowing she was a _lesbian_? Knowing that she could never love him. The man you let beat her? Lexa told me that she told you about that, both of you. What kind of parents tell their daughter to stay with the man that is beating them? You are as bad as he is."

Clarke smiled suddenly and the sight seemed to unnerve the Queen.

"You and I both know that Polis is in debt and that I am the one with all the details on just how severe it is. You also know that Arkadia is in the strongest position it has ever been and that you need an alliance with us to survive because if Azgeda sees the slightest hint of weakness from Polis they will send their very large army to attack you and will succeed in taking over your kingdom. Neither of us wants Azgeda to get more powerful than they already are."

The Queen was visibly rattled now though she tried not to show it.

"So..," Clarke continued. "If you ever want that alliance and if you don't want to become bankrupt and Arkadia to side with Azgeda against you, you really should stay on my good side. After all, you know what I'm capable of doing to my enemies."

It was a clear threat and the Queen swallowed nervously and turned and walked away. Clarke raised her head a little.

"We will allow you to stay as a gesture towards our political alliance but your disrespect towards us will not be forgotten," the King said in rebuking tone.

He was unemotional and cold but Clarke could sense his extreme dislike for her and his distaste for her relationship with his daughter. He exited the room deliberately ignoring Lexa.

 _Two down, one to go_ Clarke thought.

Darius remained, still glaring at Clarke but unmoving and then he surged forward and then shook his fist at her, giving a glare to Lexa who still hovered behind her silently.

"You will not get away with this. She is my wife by law and there's nothing you can do about it."

Clarke just lifted her head and gave him an unimpressed stare waiting for him to try to strike her. He turned away and fled instead and Clarke knew she had beaten him. He was as scared of her as the King and Queen. He knew as well as she did that they wouldn't risk their kingdom for him and that without their support or Lexa's hand in marriage he had no power at all.

As soon as they were all gone, Clarke turned to Lexa who was still visibly shaken. She cupped Lexa's cheek with her left hand.

"Hey it's okay. You're okay. You're safe. They can't do anything to you."

Lexa shook her head.

"But when you leave..."

Clarke grimaced as if the thought had struck her like a blow but kept her tone soft, focussing on reassuring Lexa.

"Let me worry about that. I promise I won't ever let them make you marry someone you don't want to and Darius will never touch you again. I promise that. It will always be your choice from now on."

There were tears forming in Lexa's eyes though she held them back and she looked at Clarke as if she was the most incredible person in the world.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Clarke could see that Lexa was beginning to believe a little but still couldn't see it as a reality. She had resigned herself to this terrible life as if it was just what was going to be no matter what. Clarke jutted her chin out and frowned wanting nothing more in that moment than for Lexa to believe her. It was then that she realised she was being selfish, staying longer than she had. She was staying because she wanted more and more time with Lexa but the longer she did, the longer Lexa would be trapped because for a long time now, Clarke had had an idea for how to free her, an idea that killed two birds with one stone.

"I'm going to be away again tomorrow, for most of the day but I promise I will be back in the evening. Is that okay?"

Lexa rose her eyesbrows a little puzzled as if she almost sensed that Clarke was up to something important but then her expression softened.

"I'll be fine. I'll still got to finish reading your book. This week has been very busy for me."

Clarke nodded, trying not to let Lexa see the sadness she felt stirring in her heart. Clarke pushed it away not wanting it to affect the time they had left. Soon Lexa would be free and she wouldn't need Clarke anymore. She would be free to pursue relationships with other women and Clarke planned to allow her that. Lexa needed to gain her self-confidence and Clarke knew that she wouldn't be able to help Lexa with that part of the process..

Lexa was like an exotic bird that had been kept caged. Clarke had always hated passing those creatures in the market. She had stared at the cages and the graceful creatures just feeling that it was wrong, deeply wrong to hold a creature that could fly in a cage. She knew that the birds in the market were bred for sale and that if she had opened the cages they likely wouldn't survive but a part of her heart always sank when she saw them closed in and wished that they could have been raised free from the beginning.

If that's how she felt for innocent birds in cages, her feelings about Lexa's treatment ran a million times deeper. Lexa was no one's property and the thought of her being treated like she was had always felt deeply wrong to her. Clarke knew that she had to let her go be free one day even if it broke her heart because that's how she was supposed to be. Free.

Clarke swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She had to stay strong for Lexa. The Princess still needed her support for now.

"Let's go to your room," Clarke said, her voice thick with emotion.

Lexa squeezed her hand to let her know that she wanted to do just that and Clarke led the princess to her bedroom, her heart full of emotions. They fell into each other as soon as the bedroom door was closed, trying to pretend that the fulfilment of their desire was all it was between them and that the tomorrow they both knew was coming might never happen. They both knew deep in their hearts that they would never have such a connection with another person like they had with each other. They had changed each others lives forever.

 

 

 

 

 


	12. For My People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets Raven and notices a certain woman acting a little possessive of her friend and Clarke is torn between duty and desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick cultural note. I'm not sure if the phrase 'love bites' is used in other countries besides the UK but a love bite is a hickey or basically the act of sucking or biting someone's neck sexually.

Clarke tried to ignore the aches in her body from spending all night with Lexa again. They had been pretty intense and she had barely slept, their passions lasting into the early hours of the morning. Clarke had lay on her back, her mind still in a kind of shock at how good the sex had been. Lexa's hand had draped across her stomach, the princess already asleep on her side, her head resting softly on the pillow. Clarke had drifted off not long after.

A few hours later and she was in a small tavern. It was fairly quiet early in the morning and only one or two drunk men lingered likely having never left the tavern at all from the previous day. Clarke was wearing a hooded cloak and quickly saw Raven sitting at a wooden table tapping her fingers. Clarke checked around the place for possible spys and sat down at the chair across from Raven, pulling down her hood.

"I already checked the place. It's safe to talk here."

Every muscle in Clarke's body ached as she leaned forward in her chair.

"What's the problem? Why did you want to meet?"

"You know why I'm here. Spill Griff. Why haven't you finished the job yet?"

Clarke had been expecting this. She had planned for her friends questions.

"It's taking longer than I expected but it's not going to be much longer. Didn't you get my messages."

Raven frowned at her lowering her lids and pursing her lips in disapproval. Clarke didn't think that she quite believed her.

"And that's just it? You're not avoiding returning because of what happened with Finn?"

"Raven," Clarke replied. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll be back soon so stop worrying. Did you travel all the way out here just to check up on me?"

A group of warriors walked in just at that moment and Clarke recognised the tall blonde woman who was the leader.

 _Anya of the Trikru_ , Clarke thought.

She watched the guilt spread across Raven's face and their eyes meeting. Anya responded with a cocky smirk and Raven was clearly very affected by her presence. The genius shifted in her seat and darted her eyes away but Anya leaned with her back against the bar drinking from a tankard of ale as if making her presence known.

"Something you want to tell me?" Clarke asked.

"What? No."

Clarke raised her eyebrows, ignoring the numerous love bites that throbbed between her thighs.

"Come on Raven. I have eyes. You slept with her. She's practically marking her territory to make it known."

One of Raven's hands moved to play with her dark brown ponytail, pulling it to one side with her fingers. Her large brown eyes shied away but she couldn't stop smiling.

"She's seducing me for information," Raven said with a grin. "She won't get any but she keeps trying anyway."

Clarke hadn't seen Raven this happy in a long time. She was practically floating with joy. Clarke knew the feeling well.

 _Lexa_ her mind reminded her as she became wistful at the thought of the princess. She resisted the urge to run her hands over the love bite she was hiding on her neck, her mind replaying Lexa's soft slow lips moving over her skin, nipping her gently.

"Clarke?"

The memories had been so vivid that Clarke had let herself get lost in them. Raven was staring at her like she had grown an extra head or something.

"I-I'm just tired. I haven't slept much. Been a busy week."

"Don't work too hard for your people. Even you need rest sometimes Griff."

Clarke pushed the thoughts away.

_For my people. Right._

She was sleeping with Lexa for her people. Except that she wasn't. She wasn't meant to be having a love affair with the princess of their rival kingdom. Lexa had never been part of the plan and yet she had thrown Clarke completely off her game. It was like she was had been charging towards a plan and then seen Lexa and just careered to a dead stop, too dazzled by her to move.

"So you and Anya. Is it going to be a problem?"

"No. I won't blab your secrets if that's what you're worried about. I think I'm overdue a little fun after everything that's happened."

Raven rubbed her leg absent-mindedly. Clarke noticed her doing it unconciously every time she thought about the past.

"How's your leg?"

"Still sucks but it's better. The pain is less. Anya massages it for me. She's very good with her hands."

"I'll bet," Clarke replied in a dry tone.

Raven grinned widely and Clarke felt a little lighter. She had missed Raven. She had feared she would still hate Clarke for Finn but Raven seemed more friendly with her again. Clarke respected her and, of everyone, she hated lying to Raven the most. But this wasn't just about her. It was about Lexa's privacy. If everyone knew then Lexa might become a target for her enemies and Clarke would not put her in danger just to ease her guilty conscience.

"She's here for a week," Raven said nodding over at Anya. "She's meeting with Wells as agreed. She really hates the King and Queen."

Clarke considered the information. She had checked up on Anya's past. The general story was that Anya had lost faith in her leaders and gone rogue because she wanted Polis for herself but Clarke had always suspected that there was more to it than that. From what she knew of the former general she had been deeply loyal and hundreds of battle hardened soldiers wouldn't just leave with her if they didn't trust and respect her judgment.

"Did you find out anything?"

Raven's smile faded and Clarke suddenly understood why. Raven and Anya were the same as her and Lexa. They likely slept together but avoided politics, avoided discussing anything that would put them both in an awkward position with their people.

"I shouldn't have asked you that. I wasn't thinking."

"All she says about her past is how terrible the royal family. She hates all of them but the Princess, although I don't know why she gets a pass."

Clarke felt that pang again, that part of her heart that was falling fast for Lexa. Even absent her presence never seemed to leave Clarke. There was always this part of her pulling towards Lexa, drawing her back.

"She's different from the others. Anya's right. They are terrible but they're no threat to Arkadia."

"I guess we should be grateful for Darius' gambling addiction."

Clarke clenched her fist under the table at the mention of him. Even now she worried being away from Lexa. As long as he was in the palace Lexa would never be safe and Clarke would not leave until Lexa was safe, even for her people.

"Wow. Your face. He must be a real piece of work."

Clarke could conceal her feelings about Darius easily from others but Raven was better than most at seeing her true feelings. She had to do better at not reacting to his name. This was one secret that she had to keep from everyone.

"He's unpleasant to say the least."

"Lucky for his wife," Raven said sarcastically.

The words cut Clarke like a knife but she kept her expression neutral. She could give nothing away but inside she was screaming.

"Yeah. Lucky her."

The words stuck in Clarke's throat as much as she tried to make them sound uncaring.

"Anyway. I better get back. There's stuff I need to do."

"Already? Damn Griff. You really are pushing yourself hard. Well I'll see ya."

Clarke nodded, rising from her chair.

"Take care Raven. Be safe."

She gave Anya a glance as she passed. The woman was eyeing her with what looked almost like jealousy. In her eyes there was a challenge. She was telling Clarke that she would fight for Raven if she tried to move in on her. Clarke recognised the protectiveness in her eyes. It was more than just attraction. It was affection. Anya would kill anyone who even dared to touch the fiesty brunette. Clarke nodded in recognition and Anya watched her pass.

As soon as she was outside she leaned back against a wall and closed her eyes. She let out her breath and ran her fingers over the love bite that she had longed to retrace since she awoke. She was torn. Her people needed her. Her friends needed her. Lexa needed her freedom and her own life but her heart wanted to go to Lexa and be with her. The thought of letting then Princess go and giving up this newfound joy split her in two.

 _For my people_ she thought. _For Lexa._

Clarke straightened herself and pulled up her hood and set off to meet Wells. Anya would likely be at the meeting later too and the time would soon come where people would find out who she really was and then there would be no such thing as privacy for Clarke and her relationship with Lexa would be over.

 

 

 

 


	13. How Long Can We Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets sick of the Queen's attitude towards Lexa's sexuality. Lexa makes a request that Clarke can't fulfil and they go out to a tavern for the night and things get hot. 
> 
> NSFW - Mild Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to let you know (so you don't have to worry as much while you're reading) that this story will definitely have a happy ending but there will be a bit of angst before it gets there.

Clarke returned from her meeting with Wells and Anya, removing her Wanheda disguise before entering the palace. When she headed to Lexa's room and study she found it empty. She passed by the large dining area where Lexa sometimes sat at the window seat reading in the afternoon, letting the daylight stream over her. Still no Lexa.

Clarke stopped a servant carrying a serving tray and asked if they'd seen the princess.

"With her Majesty in the throne room. Her mother had matters to discuss with her."

 _That can't be good_ Clarke thought.

She charged down the hall and slipped into the throne room without even knocking. She stood behind a marble pillar watching the exchange. Lexa was quiet, her head lowered as she stood in front of her mother who was rebuking her for her behaviour with Clarke.

"You cannot continue this - this affair with that woman. It is unnnatural. It is shameful. It will be ruin our family's reputation. You are selfish and foolish and you must obey your husband and continue appearances. What were you thinking?"

Clarke had heard enough. She had played nice long enough. If they couldn't handle Lexa's sexuality and thought that she could brush it under the carpet, she would shove it in their face to show them that they had no control over Lexa anymore.

Clarke strode over to Lexa as the Queen continued her dressing down. Clarke spun Lexa, cupped her face and kissed her without hesitation, not holding back. Lexa was surprised at first but then became lost in the kiss and began to openly slide her tongue into Clarke's mouth right in front of the Queen as if she had completely forgotten to be embarrassed by her sexual preferences for a moment.

Clarke opened one eye and saw the Queen glare as Lexa didn't even try to stop kissing her back. The Queen was livid but the display did what Clarke had intended and Lexa's mother turned and left the throne room knowing that she could do nothing to control her daughter anymore.

She pulled back once the door closed and Lexa was flushed and smiling.

"See how easy that was," Clarke said tilting her head as she spoke.

"I can't believe we did that," Lexa said her smile widening. "I never thought it possible, public displays..."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's lower back, drawing her closer.

"She can't stop us. You decide how to live your life not her."

"Clarke?"

Lexa sounded uncertain now as if fearing what she was going to say would sound foolish or cause trouble between them.

"Yes?" she replied, unable to stop smiling as she gazed into those wide green eyes.

"Will you teach me to fight."

Memories of bodies scattered across the battleground flooded through Clarke, blood, screaming, horror. Clarke became as still as a statue the smile wiped from her face in an instant and replaced with something much darker. Lexa noticed the change and drew back but Clarke moved forward.

"No, Lexa. It's me. I can't teach you. I can't. I won't."

Lexa looked a little disappointed and Clarke cursed herself for being unable to be selfless in this action. They were both quiet for a moment then Clarke brushed back Lexa's hair from her face, letting her fingers linger over her cheek.

"You don't understand," Clarke whispered. "You don't know what war does to people. It changes them. It never goes away. Even with all that's happened to you, you have no violence in your heart. I can't bear to change that."

Lexa seemed to understand now. She relaxed into Clarke's touch.

"It's okay. It was just a thought."

Clarke sighed.

"I meant what I said. You make the decisions in your life. If you want to learn to defend yourself I won't stand in your way but I can't be the one to teach you. I'm sorry."

Lexa's lips showed the hint of a smile again but her eyes showed something deeper. Clarke knew that she understood. Lexa always understood.

"I finished your book. Heda is an interesting character. She and Wanheda seem to have a deep connection. Wanheda shows a great deal of respect to her. I was surprised you made her as powerful than Wanheda."

Clarke smiled at her passion. She loved how Lexa's eyes lit up when she talked about stories. She found as much joy in them as Clarke did. The only other person who had enjoyed stories as much as she did was her dad. He'd always tell her tall tales about warriors and heroes before she slept.

 _My dad would've have liked you_ she thought. _He would've have liked you a lot._

"Heda is as powerful as Wanheda in a way. She is the only person who understands Wanheda and knows who she really is. In that way she holds great power.."

"You have her commanding an entire army. She's so strong and smart yet she seems completely in love with Wanheda. The scene where they meet in which Heda is on the wooden throne wearing a mask of warpaint across her eyes is beautiful."

Clarke could almost laugh. Lexa clearly hadn't realised who Heda was.

"Well Heda is pretty amazing. I had to do her justice. Anyway. Maybe we should go and makeout in front of your husband just to piss him off. Might be fun."

Lexa laughed. It was so light that it melted away all the darkness Clarke had felt a few moments before, the bad memories no match for Lexa's warmth. Clarke glanced at the sky getting darker behind the stained glass windows.

"On second thoughts. Let's go out somewhere."

Lexa nodded and Clarke placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I know a place," she said taking Lexa's hand. "Come on."

Lexa looked at her knowingly as if to say 'of course you do.

  
A few hours later and they were in another large tavern, similar to the one they'd gone to before. It was darker than the last and far busier. Most of the occupants seemed to be women and Lexa noticed them holding hands, kissing, dancing, grinding upon each other as if it was nothing. Some of them had shorter hair and were dressed in more traditionally male clothing. Some eyed Lexa hungrily as she passed yet always keeping a respectful distance.

Excitement rose in Lexa. She had never been surrounded by as many women like her in her life. Clarke had left their hooded cloaks behind, the night dark enough when they had snuck out to keep them hidden. Clarke had given Lexa common clothing so that she fit in. Clarke was in pants, a pale top and a short, black jacket as always, Lexa wore a long, dark gown which fully exposed her shoulders.

They got drinks and Clarke asked her if she wanted to dance.

"I don't know how to dance here. I only know the formal dances. I've never-".

"It's easy. I'll show you."

Clarke pulled Lexa close and guided the princess to put her hands around Clarke's hips and she wrapping one arm around Lexa's shoulders and the other on her waist. She pressed her body close against Lexa's and guided her to move with her in time to the music. Lexa felt flustered, hungry for more, the feel of their bodies pressed together in such a public place thrilling her. This was a step beyond what they had done before. Anyone could see them.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry. No one knows us here. We can move to somewhere more private if you like."

Lexa could barely control the desire to ravish Clarke there and then, her fingers brushing against those broad hips, her eyes unable to keep from dropping down to where Clarke's breasts where pressed against her own, rounded and oh so hot. Clarke was phenomenally hot. Lexa knew from experience just how sensual a person Clarke was and the movement of their hips together was doing things to her.

She did feel a little embarrassed now but the hunger was stronger and from the unsteadiness of Clarke's breathing and the desire in those big, blue eyes Clarke was having just as hard a time as she was.

Clarke turned her and pushed her up against a wall and proceeded to kiss her as if no one was watching at all. It was still public but Lexa felt less exposed with Clarke shielding her and let herself go into the kiss as Clarke's hands began to roam over her body brushing against the soft fabric as they ran up her legs, caressing the curve of her hips, brushing up over her breasts. Even if all the royalty in the entire world had been there to see, Lexa would not have stopped her.

She was so used to to this now, Clarke's soft lips, her strong body against her own, her voice whispering her name when their lips parted for a second before Lexa caught her and brought her back. Her body was on fire, every nerve stimulated as Clarke painted her with bright colours of passion. Clarke pulled back and gazed into her eyes, pressing her forehead onto Lexa's and something about the move seemed so familiar. It stirred a memory.

Lexa thought of the scene with Wanheda and Heda, where they kiss. She thought of blue eyes staring into green eyes masked by war paint and it dawned on her. Clarke was looking at her in exactly the same way.

"Heda is me," she whispered in disbelief.

Clarke smiled dreamily but didn't move.

"Of course. Where did you think I got the inspiration."

Lexa stared at her with gratitude and awe, unable to believe that someone had seen her and been inspired to write such an amazing character. Was that how Clarke saw her? Heda was graceful and strong and intelligent. She dominated each page, often either in the centre with bright green eyes, warpaint and a sword or on an opposing page to Wanheda as her equal. Clarke could see her struggle to believe that she was important enough to Clarke to be put into her work.

"You're amazing Lexa. I wouldn't have put anyone else as Heda. You are the only one I would ever choose-" Clarke hesitated, " for my story."

Lexa understood something in that moment. She knew that Clarke was the most important person in the world to her. But she also knew that Clarke was going to leave her because she was damaged by her past. She was hurting and didn't think that she could be with Lexa the way she wanted to and be a good leader to her people.

 _She will never be mine_ Lexa thought. _She will always belong to her people too as I will always be a princess. We are from different worlds._

The thought broke her heart but she would take every second of Clarke she could get before it was over. Her eyes, green and rich as a forest stared into those blue oceans and they both knew it. They both reached for each other and started kissing furiously, Lexa not holding back now, her hands roaming as she tried to hold onto this moment for as long as it lasted. She tilted her head and deepened the kiss, not caring that they were essentially making out like crazy in a room full of people as intensly as if they were alone.

Lexa spun them so that Clarke was the one with her back against the wall and pressed her body up against the blonde, her thigh moving in between Clarke's as she leaned her head and placed sloppy, fast kisses down Clarke's neck.

When they stumbled into a back room, Clarke stopping to push a wooden chair against the door so they wouldn't be disturbed and Lexa yanked Clarke back and guided her to a long sofa, falling on top of the blonde as her back hit the chair. They didn't need words. They didn't need comfort. They needed this. Complete abandonment in each other's arms.

Clarke let her lead as she had been doing more and more and it seemed right, it felt right. Clarke loved to tease and play temptress. She loved to be bold but when it came down to it she preferred to be on her back. Lexa liked Clarke's boldness and audacity in public but in private she wanted nothing more than to cover her body with her own and touch her until she cried out Lexa's name.

It was intense and neither of them remember how they got there or when they had started taking off pieces of clothing or when Lexa's fingers had buried themselves into Clarke and Clarke's had slipped into the brunette's soft folds. They remembered how it felt as they gasped and clung to each other, the build of their orgasms more intense than anything they had ever experienced. When Clarke finally came she thought she had died and gone to heaven it was so powerful. Lexa came harder than Clarke had ever imagined she could and all she could do was lie there in absolute shock as Lexa shuddered and them became still on top of her.

"Wow," Clarke panted, barely able to believe how good it had been. "That was- Wow."

Lexa's head was buried into her neck as she panted and Clarke could tell that she was smiling though didn't say a word in reply just stretching her muscles like a cat and then settling into Clarke as if she had no intention of ever moving again.

"Wow," Clarke just repeated still in shock. "Wow."

 

 


	14. You're Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wells' revolution comes to fruition. Lexa finally finds hope for the future and Clarke and Lexa have a hard time saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance. This chapter is quite sad and I actually cried when I wrote this but it gets happier and the story is far from over. Clarke and Lexa are definitely my endgame.

Clarke and Lexa walked back to the palace before the sun came up. They were hand in hand and the land was quiet, the first light of day just beginning to spread across the dark sky, turning it grey, making the clouds slowly visible.

"When we get back, don't worry about what's happening in the palace. Your place is secure."

Lexa looked at Clarke sharply but the blonde just squeezed her hand.

"What's happening?"

"You'll see. Just don't worry."

When they entered the palace, they immediately heard a commotion in the war room. Clarke let go of her hand and they entered to find the King, Queen and Darius there sitting at the meeting table and Anya and Wells standing across from them with a small militia of warriors behind them.

They royal family appeared defeated and small, not at all as intimidating as usual and were sat down at the large war table as if they were hostages.

"What's going on? Anya?" Lexa asked.

Anya's eyes flickered with something Clarke saw as affection. She hadn't even known they knew each other.

"Princess Alexandria," Wells said politely, "I am the new ruler of Polis and Anya is returning to her position as General."

"What?" Lexa asked in shock, glancing back at Clarke.

Anya eyed Clarke warily, noticing the exchange immediately. Clarke knew what she was thinking. She was wondering if Clarke was manipulating Lexa to achieve her goals. She wasn't of course but Anya didn't seem to trust her motives.

"Princess Lexa, it's true. We staged a revolution last night and we won. The guards were beaten. Aden returned home yesterday before the attack and is safe with Gustus and his mother."

Lexa opened her mouth but didn't know what to say. It dawned on her that Clarke had known about this all along, that this was why she had taken Lexa out of the palace. She had been keeping her out of harms way just in case it went wrong.

Wells stepped forward addressing her directly.

"Do not fear Princess. The monarchy will still exist to preserve our culture. The Polis people would not accept a complete removal of you from the palace. You will be royal in name and by blood but have your family will have no power over the people. The King has already accepted and signed the agreement in exchange for his life."

Lexa turned to her parents who appeared deeply unhappy but made no move to contradict Wells.

"Furthermore as part of our agreement there was one more stipulation that your marriage to Darius be annulled immediately and that you can remain the Princess of Polis and must be allowed to choose your own partner. If your parents try to marry you to someone without your consent, the agreement will be void. You will be protected regardless."

Darius growled and flew to his feet.

"You cannot! I am her husband. I am the Prince."

"Not anymore," Wells told him. "From this day forward you are not legally married to her and therefore are no longer a prince. It's in the agreement.

Darius darted his eyes to the King for help but found no response. The Queen turned from him too.

"You can't do this. I will sign no such agreement."

"You don't have to," Anya told him coldly, "The King has already signed it. You have no power without your marriage and if you defy it or try to hurt her in any way, you will be sent straight to the dungeon."

There was real hatred in Anya's tone as she addressed him. Darius slumped back down in the chair beaten.

Lexa was as still as a statue as the reality of it washed over her. She was no longer married. He couldn't hurt her anymore.

"You did this," the Queen said directing a scowl at Clarke.

"Me? I didn't do anything," said Clarke. "I'm just here because you invited me remember."

The Queen's eyes narrowed and her scowl deepened, clearly not believing her. She glanced at Lexa then at Clarke. The Queen could easily expose her secret but Clarke knew that it would mean exposing the debt he royal family was in with Clarke's company and that debt was now theirs alone and not Polis' as she had agreed with Wells.

Wells held out a scroll to Clarke and she took it carefully.

"As the only Arkadian here and as the new ruler, I would like you to deliver a proposal to Arkadia of an alliance between our kingdoms when you return. It's time the war ended."

Clarke nodded politely.

"I would be happy to, Chancellor Wells."

Wells bowed stiffly and exited the room, the militia following close behind him. The King got up and left without a word and the Queen rose slowly and faced Clarke. She glared at her but said nothing and Clarke raised her chin, staring back at her in defiance.

Darius was still brooding. He had been brooding since he'd heard of the agreement.  
He got up and faced Clarke with a scowl.

"You think you've won but I won't forget this. She's mine. One day I'll be back and you won't be able to protect her."

Clarke stepped forward, staring him down. Her stance was wide, her arms relaxed by her side and she showed no fear at all though he towered over her. She spoke in a low voice, making sure that only he heard her.

"If you so much as touch her I'll throw you in the dungeon myself. You know I will so don't even think about it. You know that I could destroy you."

Darius glanced at her then at Lexa but he turned and left, no longer welcome in the palace. Lexa swallowed, blinking as she processed what was happening. Clarke wanted to comfort her but Anya was still standing there watching and she knew that even the slightest hint of affection could give their relationship away.

"He can't hurt you anymore," said Anya. "If he comes near you I'll put a sword through his chest."

Lexa still seemed unable to form words.

"Under the terms you have complete freedom," Clarke told her. "No one can ever force you to marry again if you don't want to. You have complete control over you own life."

Lexa met her eyes holding her gaze in absolute gratitude. Clarke had known from the beginning that she was going to do this. She had planned the revolution before she even arrived at Polis but it had taken her some time to decide how to get Lexa free of Darius in a way that would guarantee her safety.

"You're free," Clarke said softly.

Lexa couldn't believe it. She had never truly believed it possible. She had been a prisoner so long that she had known nothing else.

"Thank you," she said.

Clarke's eyes darted to Anya and back to remind Lexa that they weren't alone. Lexa seemed to regain her composure and turned.

"And thank you too, General."

"It's been a long time coming," Anya replied. "I must attend to some details before I get some rest. My warriors are exhausted and I need to check the palace security."

Lexa nodded and bowed her head.

"Of course."

Anya left the room and Clarke moved to shut the door as she she left, locking it just to be sure. When she turned back, Lexa was gazing at her. She still seemed in a state of shock at her new found freedom.

"I can't believe it. I never thought - I'm free."

Clarke smiled and moved closer.

"You're free," she repeated. "No one can control you ever again. If they try to they'll be breaking the agreement."

"You did all of this. How?"

Clarke lowered her head, deep in thought.

"Wells was stirring unrest towards revolution. I had Bellamy mention it to Anya knowing that she would see the opportunity and would strike a deal with him. I didn't do much. It was Wells and Anya."

"The annullment. You asked him to do it."

Clarke raised her head.

"Yes. I asked for a favour. I told him that I was Wanheda once I realised that he was trustworthy. Anya still doesn't know though. I can't read her as easily as most people."

Lexa let out a breath.

"I've known her since I was a child," Lexa said. "Before Darius, she was my personal guard but my mother had her sent to the army because she feared that I was growing too close to her."

Clarke nodded as if to show she understood but her lips were curved downwards at the corners.

_Wait, is she jealous of Anya? Does she think-?  
_

"We were never like that," Lexa corrected quickly. "She was more like Gustus is with Aden. She was protective."

Clarke's lips curved back up seeming happy now with her response.

"Did she know about you being gay?"

"I honestly don't know. She never mentioned if she knew of my sexuality. I think mother just took a dislike to her. She was my guard and she's not really a talker."

"Hmmm..."

Lexa noticed how pensive Clarke seemed, her fear growing. Clarke seemed to be lost in her own thoughts as if she was trying to work out how to tell her something.

"Lexa, I..."

The princess stepped forward.

"When do you leave?"

Clarke sighed.

"Tomorrow. When everything is finalised."

Lexa nodded, her eyes immeasurably saddened by the knowledge.

"I'm sorry," Clarke offered.

"No. You have to go back they're your people. That's why I-"

Clarke snapped her eyes to Lexa's in expectation. Lexa swallowed almost nervously, tilting her head slightly.

"That's why you're you."

Lexa blinked not wanting to voice her sorrow.

"You don't need me anymore," Clarke said with sadness. "You can go out and date who you want, live how you want. You deserve the chance to experience that and to figure out what it is you really want."

The princess just nodded silently. They had both known that their time would come to an end but it was a wrench to let go.

"We still have tonight," Clarke offered, unable to stop the sadness that tore at her heart.

Lexa forced a weak smile but it did not reach her eyes.

"Tonight," she repeated.

  
They spent the night in Lexa's bed, kissing, touching, making love as slowly as possible as they treasured each second that they had left. They slept in each other's arms until Clarke rose and dressed silently.

For most of the day Clarke disappeared to finalise everything with Wells. Lexa noticed the slow approach of evening and desperately wished that she could say something, wished that she had the courage to tell Clarke to stay even though she knew that Clarke was needed in Arkadia. Deep down she also knew that Clarke was right. She needed to figure out who she was now and what she wanted without Darius or her parents. She had never had a choice before and suddenly her narrow world was open and full of possibilities

When the evening came she found Clarke waiting for her where they had first met, her bags packed. She was holding a copy of her newest book, now completed. When she saw Lexa she blinked rapidly and Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat as their eyes met. They instinctly moved towards each other as they always did.

"Thank you," Lexa said. "For everything. I will never forget what you did."

"I'm going to miss you so much," Clarke said wrapping her arms around Lexa to pull her closer. "You're amazing. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not."

Lexa swallowed again.

"I'm in love with you. "

Clarke was practically holding her breath.

"I love you too," she whispered. "That's why I'm not going to stand in your way."

"I know," Lexa mumbled, burying her head in Clarke's shoulder. "I know."

Clarke rubbed the back of her head.

"If you ever need anything, if you are ever in trouble or need someone, you know where I am. Get a message to Bellamy Blake or Raven Reyes. It doesn't matter what it is. I'll be there."

Lexa sighed and Clarke brushed away the tear that fell down her cheeks, her own eyes filling up at the sight. Clarke wiped her own cheeks and sniffed and then leaned to press a last kiss on Lexa's lips.

"Anything at all," she muttered. "I'll always protect you."

Clarke pulled back.

"Goodbye Lexa," she said in a shaky voice.

"Goodbye Clarke."

Clarke handed Lexa the book and turned and walked away with her bags. As soon as she was leaving the palace gates she wiped the tears from her cheeks and broke into sobs.

Lexa picked up the book and cradled it against her chest and turned away to return to her room. When she opened the book to where she was up to running her fingers across the pages she turned the page and saw a double page image of Wanheda slowly pulling off her mask in front of a crowd at Arkadia's castle. Lexa turned the page and saw the mask removed to reveal Clarke's face. She brushed her fingers over the image realising what Clarke was going to do. She was going to reveal herself as Wanheda and become the most famous and feared leader in all of Kingdoms.

  
A Year Later

Lexa's heart skipped as the blonde turned and familiar blue eyes met hers. Clarke drew in a breath, her gaze transfixed, her eyes full of longing. Lexa smiled widely at the sight of her and they both surged towards each other in unison and met with just a small distance between them.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Clarke said in a flirty tone, beaming at her with that cocky smile she remembered so fondly.

"Clarke..."

The blonde's smile widened into a grin and Lexa's felt a shudder of desire shake her entire body. All of once it was like they had never been apart and both of them felt the heat between them, the desire only growing with distance.

"Want to have some fun Princess?"

Lexa beamed back at her with joy and the pair snuck away as they had the very first night they had met and it wasn't long before they were kissing each other as if their lives depended on it only shielded from the world by a red curtain.

 

 


	15. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year ago Clarke returned to Arkadia having left Lexa in Polis. She struggles to keep her feelings a secret and misses Lexa more than she could imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Eid Mubarak/Happy Hanukkah. 
> 
> Whatever holiday you may celebrate I hope that you have a great day.

One year before

Clarke returned to Arkadia with a heavy heart, the castle that had become her home feeling more alien than she remembered.

"Clarke? Finally."

Her mother Abby moved forward to hug her and they embraced. Clarke held on for longer than usual and Abby pulled back with surprise.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Clarke lied, letting her go. "Everything went to plan."

"Good," her mother replied. "Did you finish your book?"

Clarke nodded. She had given Lexa the second copy having sent the original back to her publisher beforehand. Soon it would be selling on the markets and everyone would know the identity of Wanheda. Her mother had no idea what she was planning. No one but her and Lexa knew.

"Yes. It's out soon."

"Clarke? What's wrong. I know that look."

Abby was waiting for an answer but Clarke ignored her and made an excuse to leave. She wasn't going to talk about Lexa with anyone, not even her mother. It was a secret she would keep, especially now that her true identity was going to be revealed.

  
A little while later Raven and Octavia walked into the castle. They found Abby reading over her notes in the study.

"Is she here?" Octavia asked. "We heard she was back."

Abby gave them an odd look. Octavia didn't notice it but Raven narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. She's unpacking her stuff."

Octavia headed up the stairs and Raven turned to follow.

"Raven. Wait-"

The brunette turned around in an almost exaggerated manner, her eyebrows raised in question.

"Something happened in Polis. She won't talk about it but something was wrong."

"Are you sure it wasn't about Finn?"

Abby shook her head, her lips pursed together tightly.

"No. This is something else. I could swear-" Abby stopped herself wondering if it best not to keep quiet about her suspicions. "She's upset about something."

"I'll talk to her."

Raven turned away and Abby watched her, observing the slight limp. It was improving but Abby would have to talk to her about not overworking it.

  
"Hey, you busy?"

Octavia poked her head around the door to Clarke's room. She was sitting on her bed flicking through some of her sketches. She quickly covered the one of Lexa with another sketch, moving it out of sight.

"No. I've just unpacked. Come in."

Octavia smiled, keeping her hands by her sides as she entered. Clarke noticed the clear improvement in her mood since she had left. She sat besides Clarke on the bed.

"How was Polis? Is it as fancy as they say?"

"Yeah. We could've fed half of Arkadia just by selling a few of their ornaments. You wouldn't know how badly they are in debt. How are you?"

"Good," Octavia replied. "I'm seeing someone."

Clarke felt a pang in her heart as she listened, unable to stop thinking of the princess. She avoided Octavia's eyes, trying not to let it show.

"He's called Lincoln," she continued. "He's from Indra's tribe and its pretty serious."

"I'm happy for you," Clarke said, her voice like gravel, her throat dry.

Octavia didn't seem to notice. Clarke noted that her hair was braided now, like a warrior and she had new tattoos down her arms.

She let Octavia talk, relieved to not have think of something to say and her mind wandered to Lexa, to their goodbye, to her arms around Lexa's warm body as they hugged. She felt tears tugging at the corner of her eyes but blinked them away. When she turned to Octavia, Raven was standing in the doorway.

"Hey Griff!"

Raven strode over and threw herself onto the large bed besides Octavia with a thud.

"Hi."

"Did you have a fun trip? Your mom thought you were keeping something about it secret. She was worried."

"She's always worried. It's what mom's do. It was fine."

Green eyes popped into her thoughts. Clarke bit her lip trying to put Lexa out of her mind. It had barely been a few hours and she was still caught up in the emotions of their parting. A part of her worried about Lexa though she knew that she was safe. She worried if she was going to take her advice and date other women, jealousy flooding through her at the thought.

_No. She can date who she wants. I don't get to do that. I left her._

"How were the leaders of the rebellion when you left? Were they good?"

Clarke turned her head back realising that Anya and Raven's were now lived in different kingdoms. She met Raven's eyes with sympathy.

"Wells and Anya were fine when I left. Everything went smoothly. No one got hurt."

She saw the concern in Raven's eyes dissipate. Clarke empathised. She could tell that Raven liked Anya a lot.

"Actually I was going to ask you if you wanted to take some trips to see what kind of technology they have and if you can replicate it."

"Pfft. I'll replicate it and make it a million times better. Thanks."

Clarke smiled at Raven feeling happy that a least she could do this one thing for her friend. She had gotten a nicer homecoming than she had expected.

"I had better go," said Octavia. "Indra is expecting me with her and Lincoln. They wanted to formally initiate me into the tribe."

"Tell them I said hi," Raven joked.

Octavia got up and left and Clarke returned to scanning over some of her sketches.

"She's really into him. He's a good guy."

"I can tell," said Clarke not looking up.

Raven reached to pull over the sketch, revealing the image underneath of Lexa. Clarke flipped it over quickly before she could see.

"Is this your new book?"

"Yes. It's finished. It'll be out soon."

Raven picked up another sketch, one of heda masked by warpaint and wearing a long, black jacket and was beautiful and formidable.

"New character? She's hot."

Clarke scanned her eyes over the shape of heda's lips wistfully. She had traced those lips with her fingers, she had taken great care in drawing them brushing her fingers over the pencil lines when she had finished. Of every image she had ever drawn it was her favourite. She had lay in bed next Lexa running her fingers over those soft lips, following their curves. She had studied Lexa's sleeping image more times than she cared to admit while Lexa slept on her chest, breathing softly against her skin.

"Clarke?"

"Sorry. I've been travelling all day."

Raven eyed her with suspicion. Clarke had more stamina than anyone she knew, always driven, always ready for action.

"Even you need to sleep sometimes. I'll leave you to it then."

As Raven left and the door closed, Clarke lay flat on her back with a sigh, studying the sketch.

"Please be safe", she whispered to herself. "Please be happy. That's all I ask."

 

 

 


	16. Keeping Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa hides the truth from Anya. Bellamy criticises Clarke's recent behaviour and Clarke asks Murphy for a favour. Raven leaves for Polis.

Lexa went back to her routine but was now free to live her life as she wished. Most days Anya was busy with Wells and her own duties but every now and then she checked in on Lexa as if she was concerned about her. Her parents were oddly subdued, the loss hitting them hard but Lexa was able to do as she wished with only some of her public duties restricting her.

"Have you heard?" Anya asked leaning casually against the frame of her bedroom door.

Lexa turned her head from her book. She was sitting at her desk trying to distract herself from thoughts of blue eyes.

"Wanheda has revealed herself. It was Clarke Griffin all along."

The princess had been expecting this.

"Clarke was Wanheda?" Lexa asked, feigning surprise.

Anya folded her arms and leaned forward into the room.

"She stayed here for quite a while. What did you talk to her about? She might have been trying to get information from you."

Lexa would've laughed if the thought of Clarke didn't stir a deep longing in her heart.

"We talked about books mostly. She loved reading as much as I do and she told me a little about Arkadia."

Anya walked over to the desk.

"And that was all? She didn't try anything else?"

Lexa raised her head and met her eyes.

"No," she said raising her eyebrows. "We barely knew each other."

Anya's mouth was a narrow line and Lexa wasn't quite sure whether she believed the lie or not but she didn't care all that much if she didn't.

Her eyes wandered to the bed, memories of Clarke teasing her there, saying things to make her laugh, combing her fingers through Lexa's hair, the feeling of the mattress dipping as Clarke returned late at night after she disappeared again. Clarke would pull the covers up higher, making sure they were both warm and she would lie on her back. Lexa would always wake up at her arrival and turn and lay her hand across Clarke's soft stomach, brushing her fingers across the skin there. Clarke would sigh and Lexa would feel her relax completely.

Lexa wasn't sure how she was supposed to get over Clarke. How she was supposed to forget the best experience of her life?

"She was here for months," Anya said suddenly. "Clarke clearly had the rebellion planned from the start. The visit was a pretense to spy on Polis. Who knows what she learned while she was here?"

"Why does that matter? I thought you were allies now?"

Anya grunted as if she thought the response naive.

"We are but it's still best not to underestimate her. She has reason to hate Polis. She killed hundreds of our warriors."

Lexa wanted to defend her, wanted to tell Anya that she knew nothing about Clarke's past and how desperate they had been but she didn't trust herself not to give away more if she carried on the conversation.

"If you don't mind Anya I would like to finish reading."

Anya's eyes narrowed further as if she hadn't expected this from Lexa.

"You seem - different. What happened with you and Darius? They sent me away before you married."

Lexa let her gaze drop and she closed her eyes for a second not wanting to be reminded of anything to do with him.

She remembered Clarke's words as she had hugged her, how Clarke had told her she deserved better, deserved to be happy and she found the strength to reply.

"Nothing. I could not provide him with children and he sought comfort elsewhere."

"I've seen men like him before. He seemed like a bully, possessive and violent. Why did you agree to marry him at all?"

Lexa played with the corners of her book.

"It was duty," she merely replied.

"What? To be miserable?"

"Apparently so," Lexa replied with another eyebrow raise.

Anya lowered her eyes. She would get nothing more from Lexa. No matter how much she enquired about what had happened after she left, no one would say a word about it.

"I am sorry about Tris. I didn't get the chance to tell you before you left."

The warrior woman's face clouded over with anger and sorrow. Tris had been a young orphan girl Anya had taken in and cared for. Though Anya had no experience being a mother and spent all her time fighting for Polis, she left Tris with some members of her village and made sure she was cared for.

When Azgeda attacked the village the girl was killed and Anya had never forgiven the King and Queen for refusing to let her take some men to protect their villages. It was why so many of Polis' warriors had defected too, many of them losing faith in their leaders and rushing to protect their villages.

"There was nothing you could've done to prevent it but thank you. We got there too late. If only your parents had your compassion."

Lexa grimaced knowing that her parents absolutely didn't have any compassion. Anya turned and left, clearly finding the conversation too painful and the princess decided that she wanted out of the palace for a while. She remembered where to sneak out. Clarke had left her clothes to help her blend in when she did. She would go to the tavern. Maybe she would take Clarke's advice and see how it worked out with other women.

 

"Clarke, what where you thinking? You just painted a giant target on your back."

To say that Bellamy had been upset by Clarke's decision to go public was an understatement. She'd had this same lecture from her mother, Octavia and Raven earlier that the day.

"You could have warned us."

"The people needed to know. They have a right to know who's leading them."

Bellamy threw up his hands.

"What's going on? Ever since that day with Finn, you've been distant. You stay away for months at Polis when we both know that you could've worked out that whole plan in a month. You push away everyone who tries to talk to you and you barely sleep."

"I sorry but I don't have time to sit around and chat about my problems. I left you in charge because I knew I could but that doesn't mean you get to tell me how to deal with what happened."

Bellamy raised his eyebrows, wearing a haughty look on his face.

"We were all there. We all have nightmares about the battle. We both agreed to the plan."

Clarke clenched her fist.

"But I had to light the fire. I had to watch them all burn. I'm sorry if I can't be superhuman all the time and need to deal with what happened to me but in case you forgot I am human and I needed time to heal."

Bellamy calmed his tone aware that he had overstepped the mark.

"I get that but why in Polis of all places? They are the enemy."

"Not anymore. Now we are allies. If we are to survive Azgeda's plans for expansion we need all the help we can get. Nia has been building her forces. We know how ambitious she is."

"And if they turn on us and side with her?"

Clarke shook her head.

"They won't. Polis hates Azgeda more than anyone. They slaughtered innocent villagers. The people don't easily forget that."

"Fine. We trust them for now but just remember where your loyalties lie. We need you here Clarke."

Clarke sighed as he stormed out. The secret of her love for the princess burned in her chest every day. The truth was that Clarke's loyalties had been altered. She would be loyal to her people but she had to make sure Lexa was safe too and Lexa was a princess of Polis which meant that Clarke needed to protect Polis as much as Arkadia.

She had once seen them only as her enemy, as nothing more than murderers but she had spent time there, listening to how they saw the conflict. They thought they were fighting for the good of their people too. Everyone had their reasons.

She had grown used to worrying for her people all the time and now there was a new worry there for Lexa so Clarke called for Murphy. He was one of the delinquents and the best spy they had. He could get information on anyone and had proved himself invaluable despite his tendency to steal.

"Murphy. I need to ask you a favour but you can't say anything to the others about it."

He gave her a slanted grin as if he was amused that 'always does the right thing' Clarke needed his help.

"Depends. What do I get out of it?"

"An extra thousand coins in your pay but you can't tell a soul about it. Can you handle it?"

His grin widened, his eyes gleaming at the prospect.

"Of course. Who do you want me to get dirt on?"

"No dirt," Clarke said. "I just want you to keep an eye on someone, tell me their every move."

"Who do you want me to watch over then. Do you have a secret lovechild you aren't telling us about? Who could be so important that they make Clarke Griffin keep a secret from her friends and family."

"Darius of Polis, Princess Alexandria's ex- husband."

Murphy frowned in confusion.

"Why the hell would y-?" he started.

"Ah ah," she warned shaking her finger at him. "I told you no asking questions."

Murphy groaned.

"Fine but I want some of the coins upfront and I want my food and board paid for while I'm there."

"Deal," said Clarke. "When can you leave?"

"As soon as possible. The coins..."

Clarke took a key and opened her desk drawer where she kept some spare cash  
She handed him a small purse of coins. He counted them before pulling the drawstrings closed and shoving it inside his jacket.

"Send me word if there is even the hint of him planning something."

"Sure Clarke as long as you keep paying me I'll do whatever you want."

As Clarke watched him go she felt a slight relief flood through her. She felt safer knowing that someone would be keeping an eye on Darius. As bad as Murphy tried to make himself seem, deep down he did have a conscience and some sense of loyalty and he was good at keeping secrets.

Raven suddenly entered a slight bounce in her stride, her ponytail swinging as she moved.

"What was he after?" she asked, pointing behind her.

"I'm sending him to Polis for some recon. Nothing special."

Clarke had found herself lying more and more each day. She trusted her friends but a part of her didn't want to tell anyone. She wanted what they'd had to be just between her and Lexa. Somehow keeping it secret from her loved ones was easier than admitting how affected she had been by the princess. They couldn't be together but she could keep the memories, their silent, secret moments. Clarke wanted them all to herself.

"And there she goes again. Daydreaming..."

Clarke raised her eyes to meet Raven's amused smirk.

"I have a lot on my mind. I do run a kingdom."

"It was just a joke. What? Did you leave your sense of humour in Polis?"

Clarke just gave her a look and shrugged. She reached behind her and picked up a box wrapped up in fancy paper. It had Raven's name on it.

"I think this is for you," she said, handing her the present.

The surprise on Raven's face was oddly sweet. She softened immediately and tore off the wrapping. Inside was a dozen red roses and a spanner with Raven's name etched on the side. Raven smiled at the sight, her whole face lighting up.

"Gift from your girlfriend?"

"I told her my favourite spanner needed replacing. I thought she wasn't listening."

Clarke smiled for her friend. Raven deserved happiness after all she had been through.

"Sometimes people surprise you. Are you packed to go to Polis."

Raven beamed.

"Yeah. All done. Even got your book to finish on the journey. I'll be back in a few months."

"Well Arkadia will miss you. Wick's smart but he's not a genius. You know I'd always pick you first."  
  
The brunette grinned back at her.

"Thanks. I'll keep in touch Griff. See you soon."

Clarke nodded and they hugged. Raven was one of her best friends. She had missed her when she was in Polis but she could see that what Raven and Anya had was getting deep. Raven was falling for the warrior woman. Clarke knew all too well what that felt like. Deep down she knew that it was unlikely Raven would want to come back to Arkadia and leave Anya.

"Goodbye Raven."

 


	17. Longing and Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven arrives at Polis to reunite with Anya, Lexa finds dating other women unsatisfying and Raven begins to uncover a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut in this chapter so if you are offended by descriptions of lesbian/bi sex don't read this chapter.

When the brunette arrived in Polis, Lexa saw Anya's affection for her clearly, though she tried to hide it. Raven Reyes grinned back at Anya and they shared a kiss as Lexa watched from the doorway, hovering uncomfortably. When they pulled back Raven spotted her and strode over to hold out her hand.

"You must be the Princess of Polis, Alexandria? We haven't met before have we?"

Lexa stared down at the outstretched hand awkwardly. She didn't know this greeting so she curtsied. Raven just grinned even more.

"I'm Raven. Are you sure we haven't met before? You look familiar."

Lexa shook her head silently.

"Not much of a talker are you?"

"She's shy," Anya interrupted. "Don't tease her."

Raven turned her head as the warrior woman walked towards her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Lexa saw the adoration in Raven's gaze as she gazed at Anya. She felt a stirring in her heart, a deep longing.

"I'll leave you both alone," she said politely, her hands clasped together in front of her. "Welcome to Polis, Raven Reyes."

Lexa left and Raven frowned.

"Is she always like that?"

Anya squeezed Raven's shoulder.

"Pretty much. She's been weird since I got back. She won't tell me what's wrong."

"Hmmm," Raven replied, "Clarke's been the same. Did something bad happen when she was here?"

Anya raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Not that I'm aware of. No one has mentioned anything."

"Weird," Raven muttered.

She shook her head and then placed a kiss on Anya's cheek. Anya turned and smirked at her. She drew Raven close and wrapped her arms around her tighter before leaning in to lock her into a passionate kiss. Anya was fierce and hungry. She slipped her tongue in almost immediately and Raven responded, her hands slipping up to the back of her neck. Anya suddenly swept Raven off her feet.

"Hey! I can walk you know."

"Be quiet," Anya joked dryly, "I still haven't gotten information from you yet."

There was the pretense that Raven was used to. They had been doing this dance for a while now. Anya kept insisting that this was all their relationship was about but Raven didn't believe her anymore. Anya was too protective of her for that. It wasn't just possessiveness, it was beyond that.

She insisted on making sure Raven saw her best healers to regularly check on her leg. She frequently showered her with expensive gifts, clothing, tools, flowers and fancy foods. She never left after they had sex but usually convinced Raven it was too late to walk home alone and she'd spent the night sleeping in her bed more than once. It was how Anya's arms wrapped around her as they slept, her lithe warrior body pressed against Raven's back. She held Raven like she was afraid to let go even though she consistently maintained the lie that it was just about getting information from her.

As Anya carried her, she was gentle but strong and Raven could feel her heart beating faster. She had always put on an act too. She knew she was smart and she was cocky about it but she struggled to let people in.  Between her mother's addictions, growing up with almost no money to her name and Finn's cheating on her with Clarke, Raven never trusted people not to hurt her or to show her the same loyalty that she showed to them. She was all or nothing with people she loved but she had suffered for it time and time again.

Her mother and Finn, they both always said all the right things, the things she wanted to hear but their actions betrayed their words and she'd learned not to trust words very much. Raven trusted actions instead and however much Anya claimed not to care, her actions told Raven a different story.

Raven brushed the delicate hairs at the back of Anya's neck and she saw Anya react to the touch. When they reached the bed, Anya placed her down and started stripping off her long, black jacket. She pulled her top over her head in silence, her lips a straight line. She always looked so stern but Raven stared into those eyes and saw hurt there along with the strength. She had lost someone too. To anyone else she would've looked angry, scary even... but Raven could see through that seriousness to the woman underneath.

Anya's blonde hair fell over her face and her lips curved into a slight smile as she took off her boots and her hands moved to unbutton her trousers. Soon she was naked and standing before her, those cat-like eyes watching her like a predator watches it's prey.

"Maybe you wanna shut the door. Don't wanna give everyone a free show."

Anya smiled and casually strode over to shut and latch the door, her breasts sloping downwards, bouncing as she walked. Her nipples were light and not nearly as dark as Raven's own ones and her legs were strong and muscled but feminine. She walked as if she wasn't the slightest bothered by her nudeness, as if she was strolling to battle.

Raven could imagine that if someone attacked them now, Anya would be completely comfortable fighting naked without an ounce of self-consciousness.

She fell on top of Raven, stripping her quickly. Raven had never known a lover so hungry to get her naked. Anya's hands were strong, a little clumsy even but Raven liked a little roughness and when Anya kneaded her naked breasts and placed her tongue back in Raven's mouth, the brunette knew that she wasn't going to be leaving this bed for quite a while, if ever.

"Damn Anya. Miss me much?"

"Quiet," Anya moaned, frustrated at her breaking the kiss.

"Hey. If we are doing this again you need to stop being so bossy."

Anya's hands roamed lower, pulling Raven's thighs up around her waist. She reached her hands down into the slickness between Raven's legs and began to tease her with her fingers.

"You _like_ me being bossy," she replied, her face as emotionless as ever.

Something about her sent Raven crazy and she widened her position, allowing Anya more access to her vagina.

"Hell yeah I do," Raven joked, holding onto Anya's body for support.

Anya slipped into her easily, her fingers stretching her, moving in and out, dragging down and in and then back up again in repetitive slow motions. She took her time but she kept the pace just at the right speed, only getting a little faster when Raven's hips began to buck.

"How are you so good at this?" Raven moaned.

Anya let her hand slip down to Raven's ass, the other one still slipping into Raven's entrance and driving her absolutely wild. Raven clenched around her as she bucked, her body shaking.

"Lot's of practise," she replied.

Raven shuddered and Anya just stared at her. Even that was driving Raven crazy. God this woman was so cocky. Raven was riding her now and Anya face was plastered with a confident smirk as she watched Raven's athletic performance, her gaze only lowering to admire her abs.

  
Lexa lay on her bed with a sigh trying to block out the noise. Anya's room was pretty close and the brunette was loudly yelling Anya's name. She closed her eyes wishing she could be anywhere else, trying not to let her mind wander to Clarke.

"Hell yeah! Right there!"

Lexa could see the appeal of the brunette. She was certainly very attractive but hearing her loudly announcing to the whole palace that they were having sex only reminded Lexa of those soft whispers, of Clarke's husky voice and how Lexa did not have the freedom to be as public about her sexuality as Anya and Raven. There would be rumours about Raven and Anya but that would not bother them but if anyone knew about Lexa and Clarke or that the Princess of Polis preferred women, it would be the scandal of the century.

_Lexa...  
_

Clarke's voice was often a whisper, quiet and low. It was gravelly and so phenomenally attractive that just the thought of it made Lexa extremely aroused. She did not want to be aroused while her friend had sex. She _really_ didn't but she was flooded with the strongest memories of how Clarke sounded as she climaxed, whispering her name over and over.

_Lexa._

_You're so beautiful._

_You're amazing._

_Wow.  
_

Lexa wanted to cry. She had gone to the club to meet someone new and she had tried. She had kissed one pretty redhead in the corner of the tavern, her hood still covering her hair. She had even gone home with a darker girl named Costia who was exceptionally nice and pretty and had the most adorable black curly hair. It was good but it wasn't the same.

She thought at first it was just because she hadn't found the right person but even after a few different encounters no one came close to Clarke. No one moaned in that girlish way that Clarke did when she was at her climax. No one smiled at her as if she was the most important person in the world or teased her in that gently way that Clarke had, never pushing her too far, always checking she was okay with what they were doing.

It wasn't working. This was the one thing that Clarke had been wrong about. She couldn't just replace her with another person. Had she never slept with other women she might never have known that her feelings for Clarke were permanent. She would've always wondered if her feelings were just lust or just because Clarke was her first female love but maybe then Clarke was right after all. Maybe she had needed to figure out what she wanted. After sleeping with other women Lexa knew what she desired most of all and it wasn't other women.

When the moaning finally stopped she sighed with relief but then just as she was about to relax it started up again and she huffed and got up out of bed and grabbed some books, knowing that this could likely carry on all night. She headed for the study room which was at least a bit further away from Anya's room.

 

A few weeks later

Raven was deliciously spent after another lengthy night with Anya and slept for several hours quite peacefully. When she woke suddenly in the early hours of the morning craving some snacks she decided to try and find something to eat. Dressed in only a t-shirt and shorts, she tried to find one of the servants not quite sure if any of them were even still awake.

She tiptoed down to the palace kitchen, grabbed some snacks and ate them on her way back up the stairs. When she passed the study however, she stopped and saw Lexa fast asleep with her head on the desk. Her hair was falling down over her face appearing more wild and untamed than Raven was used to and she had fallen asleep on one of her books.

Raven crept over, meaning to wake her and send her safely back to bed but her eyes fell to the images on the open book that Lexa slept on. She slid the book away from her grasp slowly and tilted her head to see the image better.

It was Clarke's book, the latest one of her Wanheda series. The page was open on a scene with Wanheda unmasked as Clarke side by side with Heda, the newest character Clarke had created while in Polis. Raven stared at the image and it hit her suddenly. It had been bugging her for weeks the thought that Lexa appeared familiar. Now she saw it.

Heda was Lexa.

Behind the black warpaint masking her eyes and without her hair braided and the warrior persona she was Lexa.

Raven had thought little of the scene when she'd flicked through the book but she saw it now. Clarke was unmasking herself before Heda, showing her true self to her.

The way the characters looked at each other. It was intense, a silent longing, love. Raven shook her head. She was reading too much into it. It was only fiction after all. So Clarke used Lexa as inspiration. So what?

"Princess Alexandria?" Raven said, patting her arm to wake her.

Lexa didn't stir and Raven remembered that Anya said she preferred Lexa to her full name.

"Lexa? Princess?"

"Go to sleep Clarke," Lexa muttered sleepily. "It's late."

Raven's heart stopped for a split second. She understood immediately what those words meant. Clarke had slept with the Princess of Polis. They'd had an _affair_. That explained why she had stayed so long. That was why she had returned so sullen and secretive. Clarke had slept with Lexa.

"Lexa?" she said louder, shaking her.

Lexa awoke instantly, confused at her surroundings. She looked at Raven then down at the book and closed it carefully.

"You might be more comfortable in your bed."

If Lexa had guessed what Raven knew she showed no sign of it.

"Th-thank you Raven. I'll retire to my quarters."

Raven watched her leave. Lexa was too sleepy to think too much of the encounter but Raven could think of nothing else. It stirred her curiosity greatly. Raven had always hated not knowing what was going on and her mind was too curious to not pursue it further. She would find out what had happened between them. Clarke had lied to her, had lied to all of them about Polis and she would find out why she had kept Lexa a secret.

 

 

 


	18. Mysteries and What Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven digs for information while Clarke takes time to de-stress in Arkadia.

Raven told no one of what she knew but when Lexa sat at the breakfast alone the next morning, Raven took the opportunity to sit beside her. Lexa glanced at her in surprise, a little confused by the break in protocol.

"Big reader huh? Have you read anything by Clarke Griffin?"

Lexa's expression didn't change but Raven saw a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth.

"Yes, I've read her work."

"You know she is one of my best friends. Anya said you told her you didn't talk to her much while was here."

Lexa blinked not even sure why Raven was talking to her.

"She spent time with Prince Aden. He is a big fan and she was busy working on her book."

"Always working. Sounds like Clarke. I hear your marriage was annulled. Seems odd for Wells to add that to the agreement."

Lexa didn't reply. She just remained neutral and aloof.

"Why do you think he did that?" Raven asked, leaning closer. "Darius? Was that his name?"

The princess seemed frozen to the spot and Raven could see fear in his eyes at the mention of his name. She knew that look. She knew that women who wore that look did not have happy marriages.

"That bad?"

"It was arranged," Lexa replied. "I had no say in any of it."

"That sucks. What was Clarke like when she was here when you did speak to her? You know she was on the front lines in the Polis defeat? War can be tough."

Raven noticed Lexa's hands playing with the corner of the napkin in her lap as if she was going through some sort of moral dilemma in her head.

"She spoke of having trouble sleeping. She said it because of bad memories."

"Hmmm. Did she mention Finn? He died there. Well she killed him, technically."

"I'm sure she had no choice."

Lexa's tone was polite and light but Raven raised her eyebrows sensing that she disliked hearing her talk about Clarke in such a way.

"She didn't but she cared about him. It hit her hard. She's still vulnerable and she's been acting reckless recently."

Lexa sighed as if tired of the conversation and stood up.

"I'm sure Clarke can take care of herself. If you don't mind, I must excuse myself to my studies."

"Sure Princess."

Lexa stood very still, green eyes burning into her as soon as the nickname left her lips. Raven stared into those big green eyes and saw her lip quiver and then she saw it. Lexa was in love with Clarke. Lexa left and Raven felt a pang of guilt at grilling the princess so hard.

  
A Few Days Later

"Raven. What are you doing back? I thought you'd end up staying in Polis."

Clarke hugged the brunette but something seemed off with her.

"I'm going back this afternoon. Needed to bring some new tech back for you all and Anya paid for a coach to bring me here."

Clarke nodded and Raven frowned at her.

_What on earth was Clarke thinking. A princess. A married princess. Lexa had been married. Had she lost her mind?_

"So... what's up with you? Seeing anyone new?"

"I don't have time for that," Clarke said turning away to study some paperwork.

Clarke was often in her office surrounded by paperwork, documents, maps, books and her own artwork, sketches she was working in.

"Everyone needs to let loose every once in a while. Anyway you were right. Polis is really great. I can see why you didn't want to come back."

Clarke had her back to Raven but the brunette observed her carefully. She leaned over the documents..

"Anya was pleased to see me. Can't say the Princess was too talkative though. She's weird."

She saw Clarke's back stiffen, her hands clenching the desk.

"Yeah? What makes you say that?"

She tried to feign disinterest. Clarke was good at lying when she had to but Raven knew her too well and could hear the change in her voice.

"She just reads all the time in her room and in her study. There are rumours flying around the other princesses about her. Hey did you know Wells got her marriage annulled. Why would he remove this Darius guy?"

"Because he's a terrible human being who couldn't take care of anything let alone run Polis one day."

Clarke was still facing away from her but Raven could the venom in her voice.

"I take it you didn't like him."

"He's a bully and an idiot so no I didn't like him.

 _Here's the test,_ Raven thought. _This will confirm it or deny it._

"Lexa said that you two hung out a lot. Why would you hang out with the princess? You usually hate rich people."

It was a lie. Lexa had said the exact opposite. Raven knew that when two people lied they often didn't collaborate their story. If Clarke said the same as Lexa it was likely true. If she didn't and went along with the lie then she was hiding something.

"We barely spoke. I doubt Lexa told you that."

_Of course she would prep Lexa to stick to the same story._

_Damn Raven you're a genius. You know that Clarke is too smart not to think of that. So what's her weakness. Ah!_

"She seems a bit stuck up to me," Raven lied. "Maybe someone should take the stick out of her ass."

_3,2,1 and here she goes._

Clarke spun around right on cue, anger marring her face.

"Raven, you don't even _know_ her. Not everyone likes to brag about their achievements to anyone who will listen."

It was true. Raven could tell. Clarke was protective over those she cared about and would defend them to the death. Her eyes were piercing blue and defensive. She was ready to have a full blown argument with Raven for Lexa. That meant something big had happened between them.

"My bad," Raven joked. "I was just joking. She seems alright."

Clarke was right in her face now but she seemed to get a hold of herself and back off, the anger dissipating and turning into something that looked suspiciously like worry.

 _Woah. What the hell happened between them?_  
  
"Anyway. I can't stay too long.

She had never even mentioned having sex with women before. Clarke seemed pensive and Raven moved to leave.

"Raven. Don't stay away too long. We all miss you."

She grinned back but it warmed her heart when Clarke was sweet like this. She rarely showed this side of her to anyone but when she did it was deliberate and intended to tell Raven that she did care.

"Of course you do. I'm your number one inventor and best friend."

Clarke rolled her eyes but she chuckled.

"Whatever you say Raven."

Raven left Arkadia more convinced than ever that Clarke and Lexa had been lovers in secret. Something had happened between them. Something big and neither of them seemed to want anyone to know about it. Raven had overheard the other royal families whispering about Lexa at functions.

They said she could not keep her husband satisfied and that's why the marriage was annulled. Some said she was a lesbian and that explanation certainly made sense to Raven. If she was gay it would certainly be a big scandal and the royal family would have every reason to conceal Lexa's sexuality.

But why would Clarke go along with it? She never cared about the judgment of others. And why the agreement to annul the marriage? What game was Clarke playing?

Raven had already decided to keep their secret, trusting Clarke to know what she was doing but it still annoyed her that she didn't know what had happened between them.

  
"Raven didn't stay long," Bellamy observed as he walked into Clarke's study.

The blonde was staring out of the window, her mind far away. She seemed troubled but no matter how much Bellamy tried he could not get her to talk about it so he just carried on as normal.

"Don't think she can bear to be away from Anya."

Clarke suddenly got up out of her chair and grabbed her jacket walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I won't be back tonight."

Clarke headed straight for the local taverns to get away for a while. She barely drank alcohol but she always liked these places when she was stressed out. At one time she had gone there to forget her problems, to find some random guy to put Finn out of her mind. She never went past kissing them, it was just to feel something.

But now she went to remember, to remember kissing Lexa against a tavern wall in Polis, to remember the night they had spent together when they'd had the most amazing sex she'd ever had.

She had thought she could handle this. She was always the strongest, the one most willing to sacrifice her happiness but she kept dreaming of Lexa in Finn's place and saw those green eyes staring back at her instead. In her dreams she always fell to her knees in defeat, the torch going out as Polis won.

A blonde woman provocatively danced in front of her along to the music. When the woman turned and saw her she smiled and her eyes lit up as she headed over to her.

"Wanheda. What brings you here?"

"Just wanted a drink," Clarke replied.

"Just a drink?"

The woman's eyes were full of desire. Clarke knew how to read when someone was trying to pick her up.

"What's your name?"

"Niylah," she replied, gazing at Clarke as if she couldn't believe her luck.

"Well Niylah, I'm flattered but I really just wanted a drink. It's been a long week."

The woman seemed disappointed but nodded politely and turned away to leave her. She was attractive, Clarke definitely thought so and she would have liked to say yes but every time she tried to kiss other women in the tavern and take it further it was deeply dissatisfying. 

They were attractive. They were nice. Normally she could have enjoyed it but when she tried to pretend it was Lexa she was kissing, they would do something, something small like hold her in a different way or whisper something Lexa would never say and the illusion would shatter. Clarke would rather be alone than go through with the encounters after that.

She raised her drink to her lips and watched everyone enjoying theirselves wondering if she would ever get her time to be as happy again.

Her only comfort was the knowledge that Lexa was safe and free and that she could be happy. That was all that mattered.

 

 

 


	19. Frustration and Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya follows Lexa to see where she disappears to at night while Clarke begins to tire of the responsibilities of leading the delinquents.

Anya had noticed Lexa's weird behaviour since she'd arrived in Polis. At first she had assumed it was because of Darius. The more she heard rumours about their marriage the more she despised the man. After a while she began to suspect that Lexa was keeping a secret.

During the day she attended to her studies and duties as usual but Anya often swung by her room at night to check on her and found her missing. Anya usually would have left it alone. She wasn't particularly one for judging other people's choices but she feared for the safety of the princess and so here she was hiding at the end of the hallway, her eyes fixed on Lexa's bedroom door.

The door opened and Lexa exited wearing a hooded cloak. Anya followed her, moving silently. She watched Lexa sneak out of the castle through a hole in the wall that was hidden by foliage. She seemed to know the route well and Anya followed her to a large tavern, one she had visited on many occassions herself.

 _Oh!_ Anya definitely knew the place. People only went there for one reason.

Lexa ordered herself a drink but when a pretty brunette tried to talk to her, she saw the princess sigh and just move away with her drink in her hand. Anya followed her to a secluded room surprised at how well Lexa was moving unseen throughout the crowd and her lack of fear was uncharacteristic. Anya saw her slip into a side room and lay down on her back on a small sofa with a huff. She closed her eyes as Anya slipped in. When she opened them again she jumped in fright as Anya stood over her, arms crossed.

"We need to talk."

Lexa swung her legs to the floor and sat with her hands in her lap, afraid Anya meant to expose her.

"Is this why it didn't work with Darius? You're gay. Why didn't you tell me?"

Lexa blinked not meeting her eyes.

"I couldn't. It wasn't an option."

Anya sat down next to her on the sofa and Lexa stiffened uncomfortably as she remembered just what her and Clarke had done there last time they had been together in the tavern.

"I would have protected you. You know my preferences lie with women too."

"Why do you think mother sent you away? To make sure you didn't stand in the way of the marriage."

"You can't come here again. It's too dangerous. If anyone recognised you."

Clarke had always opened her world and had trusted her to make her own choices. Everyone else wanted to keep her sheltered, to baby her like she was some delicate object that would break.

"No," Lexa replied. "It's my choice."

Anya growled.

"Lexa, you can't keep sneaking out."

"Yes I can," Lexa answered, meeting her eyes.

Anya frowned at her but didn't argue and Lexa just took a sip from her drink.

"This isn't over. We'll talk in the morning and I'm staying until you go home."

Lexa lounged back into the sofa closing her eyes again. She didn't argue. There was no point but she always felt safe in this place.

"At least let me teach you to fight."

Something stirred in her heart again.

_You have no violence in your heart. I can't bear to change that._

She remembered Clarke's words. She had seen how that darkness haunted Clarke.

"No," said Lexa. "I don't want to be a warrior."

"At least some basics so you can fend off an attacker."

"Fine," she replied, rolling her eyes. "The basics."

Anya relaxed into the chair with a huff.

"So who was it?" Anya asked.

Lexa shook her head in confusion.

"Who was what?"

"The girl that broke your heart."

Lexa felt her heart skip a beat. She could tell her the truth. Anya would keep it secret but the same thought always kept her from telling anyone. The thought that she never wanted to share how she felt for Clarke with anyone but Clarke.

"No one you know."

  
Several Months Later

The fight was a brutal one. Clarke swung her sword and knocked one down, two down. The warriors were mercenaries hired by Azgeda. She still dressed as Wanheda without her mask to fight and to protect the small village they attacked. This was her life. Violence. Defending people. Saving people but on days like this it got to her.

She stopped short of killing them and had her warriors capture them and imprison them. The fights had become routine for her, just another day her people needed her and expected her to save while the criticised her decisions at every turn.

It was like they forgot she was human, like they forgot that she had needs too and Clarke was beginning to tire of pretending that she wasn't dying for a moment of selfishness. She knew the others had noticed her mood but she couldn't talk to them about it. How could she tell the people she loved that she was tired of them treating her like her needs came last.

She was supposed to attend a boring party hosted by one of the small neutral lands TonDC. It had previously been part of Polis' territory but Wells' rebellion had deemed the kingdom a neutral zone for negotiations to take place and all leaders where expected to attend all formalities there.

Clarke had been to more events since revealing herself than she had in her entire lifetime and she found them ridiculously dull. So as she readied herself, washing the events of the day from her body she felt the frustration grow and wished she could avoid it altogether. The baths at TonDC were heaven, steaming hot and full of bubbles. Clarke had dismissed the handmaids to ease herself into the bath, letting out a long breath in relief as the heat eased her aching body.

She closed her eyes and saw those eyes again. Even after a year of being apart from  
Lexa she still saw those green eyes staring back at her, still imagined those long, delicate fingers brushing over her skin, exploring cautiously the first time they had slept together. She remembered the hitch in Lexa's breath when Clarke lay her down on the bed. Clarke sighed deeply and allowed her mind to wander, slipping her fingers just a little lower.

"Clarke! Oh shit. Sorry."

Her eyes flew open and she darted her hand away very glad that she hadn't been caught a few minutes later.

" _Octavia!"_

"Abby said that you had just entered. I thought you'd still be dressed."

"Octavia..." Clarke repeated the frustration gnawing at her even more.

Octavia darted her eyes away.

"Right. Bell said to remind you to sign the papers he left you before you go to the party tonight."

Clarke scoffed at the word 'party'. A party would've been fun. These events were always drab and dull.

"Tell him, I _know_."

She knew Bellamy meant well. His attention to detail was why she trusted him so much but he could be excessive and Clarke wished more than anything she could just have a break from the delinquents.

As Octavia left, she sank back into the water.

If only Lexa were here. She would understand. Clarke could confide in her, could kiss her plump lips until she forgot everything. Just being around Lexa had always instantly made her feel lighter, freer somehow. If only her friends understood that she wasn't superhuman. She couldn't fix everything.

 


	20. Just This Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke bumps into some familiar faces at the 'party' and decides to be selfish for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very smutty chapter so if you don't want descriptions of sex I wouldn't suggest reading this.

The 'party' was filled with every leader, royal and lord possible. It was supposed to celebrate peace after the treaty was signed but logistically Clarke couldn't help but think it unwise to have so many of them in the same room. Of course security was intense and she moved around the room making a mental note of all the guards and their routes and positions.

It was a habit she had picked up in her earlier years. They often struggled with money, despite her mother's skills as a healer and Clarke had taken it upon herself to make money any way she could, not all of it legal. Ever since then Clarke mapped the security of almost every room she was in.

Few people approached her except to try and make deals with Arkadia or try to appear intimidating. It was always political games. Not a single conversation at these events were genuine.

"Having fun?"

Clarke turned recognising the voice.

"Raven! What are you doing here?"

Anya and Raven both dressed in long gowns and were linked arm in arm. Clarke hugged Raven genuinely happy to see her.

"We were invited. Nice outfit there."

Clarke had outright refused to wear a dress. Instead she was in short black coattails hanging open with black pants and boots. Her white top was feminine and low and made of thin silk. She had gotten a few looks from some people but her reputation for bold defiance was well known.

"Well I wasn't wearing a dress. What if I need to fight? It's not practical."

"You can fight in a dress," Anya chipped in.

"Uh, not everyone is as comfortable with their body as you An. She hates wearing dresses."

Clarke grumbled.

"They're not practical!"

Raven laughed.

"Same old Clarke. Has to be different. Anyway, we were planning to get hammered tonight and sneak out before this party becomes even more mind-numbing. Rich people are kinda dumb."

"Says the girl living permanantly in a palace," Clarke joked. "Wick was thrilled to take your job."

Raven shook her head.

"I bet he was. I'm still the expert though. If it doesn't work out with us two. I'm taking it straight back."

"Doesn't work out?" Anya growled. "What do you mean?"

"I'm kidding An. Do you think I've waited months for you to finally admit we are _actually_ in a relationship to give up on us now?"

Anya rolled her eyes but Clarke saw her try to hide a smile.

"I'd ask you to join us but we er - had already made plans."

Raven's gaze darted to Anya who smirked now. Clarke's eyes darted between them.

"Plans huh? Have fun. Don't wait too long before visiting Arkadia. We miss you back home."

"You wouldn't if you would take up our offer to stay at Polis for a while."

Clarke lowered her eyes. Raven just never quit.

"Raven... we've discussed this."

"I know, I know. You can't just leave Arkadia. Just think about it."

Clarke nodded and watched Raven and Anya leave. She couldn't go back to Polis. If she returned she might never be able to leave again and her country needed her. Lexa might even have found someone new and Clarke couldn't stand the thought of that even if she was the one who had encouraged Lexa. Still, some time away might do her good. Maybe she could handle it.

Clarke turned around just as she had the thought and was stunned by the image of a black dress with the sides split just enough to show strong thighs and shapely legs. Her eyes moved higher past the heavenly curves of hips and breasts and to that graceful neck and beautiful shoulders that she had traced and worshipped as many times as she could. She lifted her eyes above that jawline, past those plump lips and into the green eyes that had not left her mind, even after almost a year.

Lexa's eyes stared into hers, a recognition sparking in them and Clarke swallowed as her heart suddenly beat faster. The Princess' hair was wavy and flowing, draped around to one side of her neck just as it had been when they had first met. The connection between them was instant, the memories as strong as ever. Clarke had tried to bury them but they were permanantly burned into her heart and they gravitated towards each other meeting the middle.

Lexa's heart skipped as the blonde turned and familiar blue eyes met hers. Clarke's gaze was transfixed, her eyes full of longing. Lexa smiled widely at the sight of her and they both surged towards each other in unison and met with just a small distance between them.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Clarke said in a flirtatious tone, beaming at her with that cocky smile she often wore.

"Clarke."

The blonde's smile widened into a grin and Lexa's felt a shudder of desire shake her entire body. All of once it was like they had never been apart and both of them felt the heat between them, the desire only growing with distance.

"Want to have some fun Princess?"

Lexa grinned and let Clarke take her hand brushing her thumb over the back of it.

 

Later that Evening

  
"We shouldn't be doing this," Clarke said, in between kisses. "If someone caught us."

Lexa tilted her head and caught her back into a kiss as if she didn't care one bit but Clarke knew that she did. Lexa still feared the public outrage if people knew about them.

Clarke pulled away, resting her forehead on Lexa's.

"We can stop," Clarke said breathing heavily, "If this is too much..."

"Clarke," Lexa said in a low voice. "Can we talk about something else?"

The blonde smiled, an elated feeling flooding through her.

"We don't have to talk at all," she replied.

Clarke smiled in the sweetest way Lexa had ever seen and she smiled back broadly, her lips parting as she leaned in again and they lost each other in their reunion. Clarke gently tugged Lexa's hand and nodded towards the exit. Lexa nodded gracefully, blinking as she did and Clarke led her from behind the curtain to the quarters she had been given for the night.

Lexa watched Clarke check each hallway methodically as they made their way there and concluded as she had before that Clarke might actually be a genius. She was systematic and creative and seemed to know every guard's whereabouts at all times. She seemed to have a constant awareness of her surroundings and where everyone was at any given time.

Lexa spent the few moments, they waited behind a pillar for a guard to move gazing at Clarke's side profile as she peeked out into the hall. She was as beautiful as Lexa remembered, eyes piercing blue, her upper lip just slightly pulled back in that unique way. She naturally protected people, protected Lexa but she didn't control her or treat her like she was incapable as most people did.

Clarke tugged her hand and they crept towards the door, the blonde dropping her hand as she produced a key and opened the door quickly, Lexa hovering closely behind her. She held the door open as gestured for Lexa to enter, closing and locking the door behind them.

When the door was closed and Clarke turned they were face to face again, both breathing rapidly, edging near to each other.

"We don't have to do this," Clarke whispered. "It's your choice. It's always your choice."

Lexa blinked, incredibly grateful to have even a moment with the blonde again. Lexa closed the gap, soft lips pressing onto Clarke's, delicate hands brushing her hair so gently as if Lexa feared Clarke to be a ghost that would disappear under her touch.

Clarke tried to rationalise, tried to stop herself. She knew it was irrational. She knew it was dangerous but just this once she wanted to be selfish. She wanted to feel something good for once.

 _Just once_ she thought to herself, her left hand moving to rest on the back of Lexa's head, her right hand sliding down the straps of the gown. The dress was so soft underneath her fingertips, the satin almost as soft as Lexa's skin.

_I'll be selfish just once._

Lexa moaned as the dress dropped to the floor at her feet and pushed the coattails back letting the garment drop to the floor. Clarke removed the rest of her clothes unbuttoned her trousers last in a hurry, barely able to wait as her fingers fumbled over the fastenings.

Lexa who had seemed uncharacteristically confident until that point hesitated and Clarke saw that familiar fear rise in her that often did because of what she had experienced with Darius.

Clarke rubbed the back of her neck in a soothing manner and Lexa'a eyes dropped lower to her lovers bare cleavage. Her eyes were full of desire, an almost primal desire that seemed at odds with the sweet princess everyone thought her to be.

"It's okay," Clarke soothed, "We don't have to go any further."

Lexa raised her eyes and gazed at her almost adoringly.

"I want to."

Clarke pulled back the covers and lay back down on the bed remembering that Lexa liked to be more on top, though they often switched roles. Lexa followed, climbing on top of her reconnecting their kiss. Clarke parted her lips, her tongue desperate to brush over those amazing lips but found Lexa's already seeking entrance and they kissed deeply and sensually, the act lighting a fire in both of them.

Clarke's hands ran over Lexa's back, guiding her to position herself higher. She planted hungry kisses along Lexa's neck, darting out her tongue out to taste her skin and sucking on her pulse point, and down her collar bones and down her breasts, sucking her nipple as it passed. She passed a soft abdomen and a some newly developed muscles that were more defined than she remembered and then lifted Lexa higher her hands holding the back of her legs in position.

"Is this okay?" Clarke asked. "Do you want me to...?"

Lexa breathing was heavy. Clarke could not see her face but she knew that Lexa was already highly aroused.

"Yes," Lexa consented.

Though she still sounded nervous, she sounded absolutely certain of what she wanted and Clarke guided her to place her centre higher she was close enough to Lexa's entrance to breath in that sweet scent. Clarke pulled her forward and kissed her, moving her lips just as she had when they had french kissed moments earlier. She teased, darting her tongue around the entrance and then sucked her clitoris, letting her tongue swipe around it in light touches.

Lexa groaned, her usually light voice more guttural than Clarke had ever heard it.

Clarke teased her again, sucking, licking and drawing circles with her tongue. She teased the entrance slipping in occasionally but never fully entering, focussing much more on her clitoris and on building the pace. Lexa moaned even more, her tone higher now as Clarke lost herself in the absolute enjoyment of this incredible woman, wet and aroused and moaning just for her.

Lexa was moving her hips, girating in slow circles, trying to get more of the sensation. Clarke pushed forward more holding her in position as Lexa's body moved in time with her arousal.

"Aaaah."

Lexa threw her head back, every part of her body tingling with the sensation blocking any capacity she had to think or make sense of anything.

Clarke slipped deeper inside with her tongue sliding easily inside her and slipped back up to swipe the sensitive hood.

Lexa groaned again as Clarke repeated the work of her lips and tongue, moving just fast enough to keep the sensations building at a steady pace. Lexa felt like she was losing her mind at how good it felt, her eyes closed, her body moving by its own will. She gripped the headboard as her orgasm built and then her legs began to tremble her body spasmed.

Clarke held her through it as the last gasp came from her mouth and Lexa became limp.

The princess panted, her head lowered as she tried to regain her senses. Clarke guided her back down to lie on top of her.

"Fun?"

Lexa laughed and opened her eyes staring down into those mischievous blue eyes.

"I'll take that as yes," Clarke teased. "Ready for more?"

Lexa was still panting, her mind still in shock.

"More?"

Clarke rolled her over so she was on top and teased Lexa's thighs with her fingers, hovering dangerously close to her entrance again. Lexa stared back at Clarke's bright eyes thinking that this blonde might actually kill her and that she would be happy to let her do it. Lexa let out her breath and nodded and it all started again.

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Change of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa wake up together but get their morning interrupted and Azgeda cause trouble for Polis and Arkadia. Raven talks to Anya of her suspicions about Clarke and Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to everyone who observes it. Happy 2019.

Clarke woke up with Lexa's arm draped around her stomach. She was lying on her side facing away from the brunette who slept peacefully besides her. Clarke turned slowly and gazed at Lexa sleeping. Her hair was thick and falling over her face in chestnut waves. She should feel guilt. She should feel regret. This could lead to nothing but trouble but the rational part of Clarke didn't care. This was the happiest she had been in a year.

Lexa stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hey," she murmoured sleepily.

"Hey you," Clarke replied softly. "Sleep well?"

Lexa smiled at her, her eyes lit up with joy.

"Very well thank you."

The princess stretched her arms and yawned and Clarke watched her, not sure if she would ever get over the image of this goddess in her bed.

Suddenly there was a loud knocking at her door and both of them froze.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked, panic rising in her voice.

"Stay under the covers," Clarke advised getting to her feet and searching for her clothes. "I'll see to it."

The knocking grew more insistent as Clarke dressed quickly, pulling on her pants and top. She checked on Lexa who was under the covers and threw her coattails on the bed to make it just seem messy.

Clarke opened the door to find Raven there. By the look on her face it was something serious.

"Wells need you. He's waiting in the meeting room."

"What's happened?"

"He'll tell you."

  
When Lexa returned to her room, slipping away after Clarke had been gone for some time she had barely closed the door before Anya came knocking on her door.

"What is it?" Lexa asked her, puzzled. "What's happening?"

"Azgeda have attacked one of the villages on the border between Polis and Arkadia. Wells and Wanheda are discussing options. He wants to talk to you."

Lexa shook her head.

"Me?"

"About your safety."

"Oh."

  
Lexa slipped into the meeting between Wells and Clarke, Anya leading the way. Raven and Bellamy Blake were there too. They turned to face her.

"Princess Alexandria, I believe you know the leaders of Arkadia."

"Of course. What is happening?"

Wells stepped forward.

"We do not want you to return to Polis yet. The royal family will be moved to reside here where the defences are stronger."

"It's a precaution," Clarke told her, her tone giving nothing of their relationship away to the others. "You will remain in TonDC until we can be sure Azgeda is dealt with."

Lexa nodded and gave a gracious bow.

"Of course Wanheda."

"Your personal belongings will be brought here and your parents will arrive as soon as possible," Wells told her reassuringly. "I promise that you will be well protected here. Wanheda and Anya will be staying too to make sure our army here is prepared and to manage things here. Arkadia and Polis have already been prepped."

Lexa glanced towards Clarke immediately.

"I have work to do here. TonDC lies directly between our lands. I can move quicker if either Arkadia or Polis needs me. It will enable us to hit the Azgedian army from multiple directions."

Lexa blinked and bowed her head. Clarke tried to avoid letting her eyes linger on her lover, the previous nights activities still too recent in both their memories to avoid.

The princess was excused, Clarke forcing herself not to watch Lexa leave and the meeting continued until all the details were finalised. When Wells and Bellamy filtered out to take their leave, only Raven and Anya remained behind.

"Guess we're gonna be spending time together after all," Raven joked.

"Guess so," Clarke replied, her mind wandering back to Lexa and what this meant for them.

It had been purely practical her decision to work in TonDC but Clarke would be lying to herself if she didn't admit to being a little happy about being able to spend time with Lexa again.

More than happy she thought.

"So... how was last night?" Raven teased.

"Last night?" Clarke repeated.

Raven smiled broadly. She was the one person Clarke struggled to read easily.

"The boring party. Couldn't see you when we sneaked back for more drinks? Did you hook up with some hot prince or something?"

"I spent the night in my room. You know I can't stand being around rich people for too long."

Raven laughed.

"Did you forget that you're rich?"

"Now I am but I wasn't. You know what I mean."

Clarke sensed that there was something Raven was keeping from her but she didn't push. She was the last person to call someone out for keeping secrets.

"I was wrong about Lexa," Raven said suddenly. "About her having a stick up her ass. Anya really seems to care about her so she can't be too bad."

Clarke hummed in reply, planning out her day in her head and considering Azgeda's possible strategies.

"I meeaan, if I didn't know Lexa was the Princess, I might be worried Anya liked her too much."

Clarke jerked her head quickly.

"What? That's ridiculous. Lexa isn't attracted to Anya."

Raven grinned as if she had gained some sort of victory.

"I know Clarke. I was joking. Don't you get my humour by now?"

Clarke shrugged realising that she had reacted too harshly. She didn't know where this jealous streak came from all of sudden. She didn't own Lexa. Lexa could date who she liked. Besides she saw Anya as a friend, nothing more.

"Must've been some night. You look exhausted. Maybe you should get a few hours in before you go all Wanheda on Azgeda."

"I'll sleep later. I should get started. I need to work out all the logistics."

Raven nodded and Clarke headed towards her room but stopped at her door. She stared down the hallway towards Lexa's room. She should start right away. She should focus. Clarke hovered outside her own bedroom door refusing to move and then she gave in to the feeling and turned and headed straight for Lexa's room. Clarke checked around that no one was watching, listening at the door for other voices, then she knocked gently on the door.

Lexa opened it, her hair still loose though it had clearly been brushed and tidied by a handmaiden. Their eyes met and Lexa opened the door wider to allow Clarke's entry. The second she was inside Lexa's room she pulled the princess in to kiss her and Lexa fumbled to close and lock the door behind Clarke as they made out as intensely as they had the night before, falling back into each other as easily as if they had never been apart.

By now Clarke's touch was so familiar to her, so natural to Lexa that it just felt right, as if happened without thought. They melded into each other and fell onto the bed together side by side, exploring, searching, caressing. It was sweet and tender but passionate and sensual. They both craved each other's touch. It was just the sex. It was just being together, any way they could be. They had missed each other so much, the absence of this connection unbearable to them both.

"You're amazing," Clarke whispered, nuzzling Lexa's nose as their lips parted. "So so amazing."

"I missed you," Lexa replied in a whisper.

They were still touching, not wanting to lose the connection by moving apart.

"I missed you too. Like a lot."

They nuzzled each other in between soft kisses and just continued enjoying the moment until it led to a more heated one that left them both panting and breathless.

 

"I'm telling you, it's Clarke. She muttered her name when I woke her."

Raven was tinkering with a new project in only her underwear, while Anya pulled on her leather tunic and warrior skirt. They had lived together for a year now and neither of them were really shy about their bodies.

"Just because she said her name once while half asleep it doesn't mean anything. They barely speak to each other."

Raven jerked her head around.

"Are you _serious_? Where you at the meeting? I know Clarke. She was super careful with Lexa."

Anya huffed, fastening her sword belt around her waist.

"So she's being diplomatic."

"An, Clarke doesn't act like that around royals. She has always despised them. She barely says two words to them if she has to. Trust me. Something happened between those two."

Anya grumbled.

"We have no proof. We can't just accuse them."

Raven grinned.

"I know but I've been testing the theory. I made a joke about you being into Lexa and you should've seen her face. I didn't even know Griffin got jealous."

"Raven," Anya growled. "Don't cause trouble. Just because you and I can be public it doesn't mean Lexa can. People have different expectations for her."

Raven shook her head and returned to focussing on her projects.

"That's just dumb but fine. I'll be careful what I say."

Anya slipped her daggers in her boots tightening the laces but her girlfriend's words stuck with her. It seemed so unlike Lexa to be reckless about anything. Anya had known her for a long time and she had always been naturally shy and cautious. One thing she had learned about Raven though, was that her mind was very quick and nothing escaped her attention. If Raven had observed her friend acting unusual, she might be right and that thought worried Anya more than she thought possible.

 

 

 

 

 


	22. An Inch is Too Far Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa can't keep their hands off each other. Raven grows ever more certain of her suspicions and Octavia visits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut in this one.

Lexa attended her duties as usual at TonDC. She practised piano, attended daily lessons and appeared at events when required to. Overall it was the same as usual but for a particular blonde who showered her with attention when she wasn't away saving the world.

Clarke was discreet and had a knack for being able to tease Lexa in a room without words and without anyone noticing. She usually just appeared behind Lexa without a sound and when Lexa turned there was always that mischievous twinkle in her eyes that let Lexa know exactly what she wanted to do.

"What ya up to Princess?"

Lexa didn't need to turn around to know it was Clarke. That husky voice was unmistakable and always sent an instant thrill through her.

"I am supposed to study the names of every high born person born this year and the current titles of each person of privilege so that I will not address them incorrectly in public."

"That sounds... boring."

Lexa felt Clarke's breath on her neck and soft fingers brush her hair away from her neck and then soft lips kissing the skin there.

"I can think of _better_ things you could be studying..." Clarke suggested in a low and unbelievably sexy tone.

Lexa felt another kiss pressed on her neck and then Clarke's lips moving against the skin there. She closed her eyes, the sensation doing strange things to her. It made her feel hot in an almost primal manner, stirring something animalistic in her but the thought that someone could walk in and see them both frightened and exhilarated her.

"Don't worry," Clarke murmoured. "I locked the library door. "No one can walk in on us."

Lexa relaxed into the feeling as Clarke continued kissing her neck, giving her a gentle nip.

"Clarke..." she huffed.

"Sorry. I won't leave a mark anywhere people can see."

Lexa felt her lean in and kiss along the bottom of her neck in the spot between her neck and shoulder. Lexa honestly hadn't even been thinking about marks and in that moment she wouldn't have cared if Clarke left a million of them as she tilted her head sideways into the sensation. Clarke's right hand was on her shoulder and the left hand on Lexa's hip was creeping around to the front and skimming down the side of her thighs.

This was how it always started. Clarke need only show up and say very little to her, sometimes she only need look at Lexa and she felt helpless to refuse her anything and yet it was always her choice. Clarke always respected Lexa's wishes whatever they were doing. She was the only person who gave her complete control and perhaps that's why Lexa so readily relinquished it to her. Clarke never forced her, never pressured her and never made her feel guilty for anything. Her constant compassion was unique and  
Lexa could not for the life of her remember being more attracted to anyone in her entire life.

When they had sex it was crazy. It was sometimes slow and sensual but always hot and even when it was fast and primal, Lexa always felt safe and Clarke was always caring towards her.

Clarke's hands were dipping down to pull her gown up, sliding it up. Lexa turned and guided Clarke backwards until she fell back into the luxurious armchair with a thud. Lexa climbed on top of her and Clarke pushed up her gown further, sliding her hands along the silky skin of Lexa's womanly thighs. She held Lexa on top of her, kissing her furiously while trying to slip her underwear down with one hand. Lexa helped her with the other side and the garment slid down and was discarded.

Clarke unbuttoned her trousers and slid them down along with her own underwear as Lexa began to grind on her leg. They moved to position themselves in a more favourable way and Lexa's knee hit Clarke's centre as Lexa moved herself against Clarke.

This was how their days had gone pretty much every day for weeks. To say that Clarke was a distraction to Lexa was a monumental understatement. They were both covered in love bites, often ending up having sex until they couldn't move and Lexa had woke up with aching limbs more than once.

When they both climaxed, Lexa's moan heightening Clarke's orgasm instantly, they were left panting and clinging to each other, Clarke brushed her fingers over Lexa's hip tenderly. Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa's forehead and wrapped her arms around her to pull the princess tighter against her chest. Lexa's body was limp on top of her, her breathing still erratic.

"Did I break you?" Clarke joked.

"I think you did," Lexa mumbled her face buried in Clarke's chest.

Clarke chuckled as she looked down at the brunette still refusing to move from resting on her breasts.

"Are you okay in there?"

"They're very soft," Lexa mumbled still not moving.

"Well I don't mind you sleeping on them if you don't."

"Good, because I can't move."

  
Raven was the only person who seemed to notice Clarke and Lexa's behaviour she was sure. Anya seemed to think her making too much out of nothing but she could see it clearly.

Clarke was walking around in the best mood she had seen her in for a long time and whenever she was in the room, while Lexa usually lowered her head bashfully and avoided her gaze. Their eyes met often and they always stayed far enough apart not to cause suspicion yet seemed incredibly aware of each other's presence.

Raven had known Clarke for years, aloof, stubborn, strong, focussed, secretive and Clarke did not smile at people the way she smiled at Lexa when she thought no one had noticed. Raven was more convinced than ever that she was right.

When the King and Queen arrived, Raven noticed a change in them both right away. They were later than expected, having refused at first to follow Wells' wishes.

Lexa became more formal, more introverted again, while Raven had noticed Clarke positioning herself between Lexa and her parents and glaring at them as if to challenge them to stop her. They had been pressuring Lexa to find another husband and Clarke had reminded them in a tone that sounded suspiciously like a warning to Raven, that legally Lexa could not be forced to marry anyone she didn't want.

Lexa was perhaps the most telling of all when it came to the secret for whenever she seemed fearful or nervous she instinctively glanced towards Clarke for reassurance and Clarke moved closer to Lexa in those moments without even realising it. To an unsuspecting outsider, nothing unusual was happening. To Raven, Clarke was fiercly protecting Lexa in that unyielding way she did.

So when Raven went to the library and found it locked, she knew exactly why. When the Queen asked her as she passed her in the hall if she had seen Lexa, Raven misdirected her with vague comments about her maybe being in her bedroom or out walking in the gardens and she kept the knowledge to herself, even when Octavia visited.

"Where is she? She said she'd be here before noon. She's late and I'm starving."

Octavia was visiting for a few days to check on progress for Bellamy and missing Lincoln made her moodier. They were waiting to start the evening meal and both Lexa and Clarke were missing.

"She probably just lost track of time. You know how hard she works."

Octavia's eyes lingered on the banquet before her. It had taken them all a while to get used to not living on army rations anymore, most of them growing up in poverty. These days Octavia wasn't used to waiting long for her meals.

Lexa arrived suddenly and Raven noticed that her usually neatly styled hair was just a little ruffled as she graciously took a seat. A few minutes later Clarke strode in practically with a bounce in her step and planted herself down in the chair beside Lexa.

 _Staggering their entrances so no one suspects anything_ , Raven thought.

"Finally," Octavia muttered grabbing a piece of bread and tucking in to her soup.

Raven watched the two of them carefully and how much redder with anger the Queen's face turned. Clarke met the Queen's eyes with defiance and the Queen just turned her head to the side. Lexa was as quiet as always then she suddenly gave a yelp and jerked in her chair and her eyes were on Clarke, her mouth hanging open.

"What's up Princess? Was it a spider?" Clarke teased.

Raven noticed that Clarke's right hand was mysteriously absent from the table.

"Yes. It startled me. My apologies."

Lexa was blushing and the Queen was glaring at Clarke with sheer hatred now. Raven could see a slight smirk at the corners of her mouth as Lexa seemed trying her hardest not to react to whatever Clarke was doing to her.

"I see you haven't got your appetite back Clarke," Octavia joked. "You've barely touched your food."

"I already ate but I _am_ still _pretty_ hungry."

Octavia didn't notice how Clarke emphasised this for Lexa's benefit. Again she managed to hide the truth. Clarke was truly a master at secrets but Raven wondered how long Clarke could keep the truth from herself about what was happening. Did she plan to return to Arkadia as if nothing had happened?

 _Oh Griff. You don't even realise how deep you've fallen this time_.

Raven knew the feeling all too well. First Finn and then Anya. She was no stranger to falling for people she shouldn't but she wasn't Wanheda and Anya wasn't a princess. People would be outraged if they knew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Dancing with Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Anya bump into some familiar faces while Lexa attends a formal dance. Mild smut.

Raven and Anya were drinking at a large inn in TonDC one evening. It was filled with loud drinkers, many of them mercenaries but a few wealthier men had entered and were making obscene comments towards their server. Suddenly Raven gripped Anya's arm.

"Did you see that?"

Anya frowned searching around the busy room.

"Oh. Them. Ignore them. They're just loud. The wealthy men always act like they own the place."

"No, no. Murphy. One of the delinquents. He's supposed to be doing some espionage work."

Anya frowned at him.

"He's following someone from that group. See how he sits nearby with his back to them pretending he's drinking. He's shadowing someone."

"He was always sneaky," Raven muttered.

Murphy had not always been her favourite person. He usually looked out for himself above all others. If he was working this hard, either Bellamy or Clarke was paying him well.

Anya watched the group of men at the table for a few moments and then one of them sat back and she saw Darius drinking as his friends made degrading comments about the women in the bar. He appeared in a foul mood, probably still sore about his loss of power and something occurred to Anya.

"We'll wait until Murphy moves and then follow him."

"Yes! We'll spy on the spy. Operation Suck it Murphy is a go. I'll drink to that."

Raven raised her glass and then as Darius stumbled out into the back alley to relieve himself, Murphy followed. Raven and Anya waited until Darius was returning and grabbed Murphy by the collar just as he was about to follow him in. Anya pinned him to the wall with one hand.

"Ow. What's your problem?"

"We caught you jerk. Now spill. Why are you following-"

"-Darius," Anya interrupted.

Raven glanced at her.

"Wait, Lexa's ex husband Darius. I told you. Didn't I tell you!"

"Will one of you tell me? I have to get back to my job."

Anya gripped him tighter and glared at him.

"Okay, okay," he protested. "Clarke paid me to keep an eye on him and report his movements. I've been following him every move for about a year."

Raven gave Anya a look that said 'I told you so' and grinned as the realisation that her girlfriend had been right seemed to hit her.

"Why?"

"She wouldn't say. I swear it. Said not to ask questions and not say anything."

Anya let him loose and he straightened himself darting his eyes between the two women.

"Are you gonna rat me out?"

"Sure as hell, we will," Raven scoffed.

"No," said Anya. "We need to keep this quiet."

Raven began to rant.

"Quiet! I've been keeping this quiet for a year. Do you know how many snarky comments I've had to hold back?"

Murphy watched them bickering like a married couple for the next minute before he interrupted.

"Hey. Can I go now? Or are you two gonna be at this all night."

Anya waved him away and he quickly slipped back into the tavern.

"We have proof now. We can confront Clarke and get it all out in the open."

"No," Anya repeated. "Lexa is the Princess of Polis. Do you know how much trouble it would cause? Do you have any idea how people would react?"

Raven squared up to her.

"And what's the alternative? Live a lie? Pretend nothing's happening?"

"It's none of our business. It's between them. We don't even know if it's just sex or something more. Acting rashly would be foolish."

Raven waved her hands as she spoke, enraged by Anya's words.

"So I'm foolish for wanting to tell the truth?"

"I never said that!" Anya groaned.

There was a plea in her voice and the brunette calmed as Anya stepped closer.

"Raven..." Anya continued. "Lexa is my friend. Don't say anything. For me."

Raven frowned but she relaxed.

"Fine," she said in an exaggerated tone. "Whatever. I'll keep my mouth shut. But just so you know this is really frustrating for me."

Anya smirked, wrapping her arms around Raven's waist and drawing her closer.

"I guess I'll have to find ways to allievate your frustration then."

"You bet you will."

 

Lexa was bored and feeling very out of place. The lands were holding a dance and all were invited. The Princess watched several male and female couples dancing, twirling, laughing. The women pretended they were coy while the men they were gentlemen. As she watched, Lexa was struck as she had been so many times by how she didn't fit in at all here. This was what she was supposed to be but she wasn't.

She saw Clarke standing against a white pillar at the other side of the ballroom. She was dressed casually, outright refusing to dress formally for the occassion. She appeared as unimpressed as Lexa. When she turned her head, she caught Lexa watching her and locked eyes with her.

 _I wish I could dance with you_ Lexa thought. _In front of everyone._

There was the hint of a smile on Clarke's lips as if she could read Lexa's thoughts.

Clarke's eyes darted to the darkened side entrance to the ballroom. She turned and headed through the door and Lexa took a breath and glanced around the room before heading towards the door.

When she entered it was full of dim candlelight. The maids rarely used this old entrance, lighting the candles each evening more out of fear of reprisal than necessity. Clarke took her hand and wrapped Lexa's right hand around her waist. She raised Lexa's left hand and started guiding her in circles.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked, with a giggle.

"Dancing with you," Clarke replied, raising an eyebrow. "You seemed like you wanted to dance."

Lexa followed her lead as they danced back and forward to the music.

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Know what I'm thinking..."

Clarke spun Lexa with one arm and then drew her back.

"I don't know. Maybe I just find you fascinating."

The way those blue eyes studied her own made Lexa's heart skip a beat.

The music ended and they stopped dancing and parted.

Clarke bowed formally, "Princess," she said lowering her head.

Lexa bowed and Clarke sighed.

"You're adorable," Clarke muttered, caressing Lexa's hair and pressing a kiss on her lips.

Green eyes shone back at her and without a moments thought, Clarke backed her up against then wall and moved her lips against Lexa's, pressing her body against the princesses. This was more dangerous than usual. Most of the lands' wealthy young adults were just in the next room.

"Clarke...?"

The blonde was busy kissing down her body, lowering herself slowly downwards. She stared up at Lexa who was more than a little breathless by now.

"Don't worry. No one will catch us."

Clarke pushed Lexa's black dress higher up her thighs and looked up at Lexa, her lips hovering dangerously close to her undergarments. Lexa inhaled sharply as Clarke slid them down checking with Lexa one last time for consent. Lexa nodded and Clarke's mouth met her entrance and Lexa threw her head back as Clarke ate her out until she saw stars and cried out, only muffled by the loudness of the music in the next room.

It took Lexa a while to recover mentally from the intensity of the orgasms she had. Clarke was phenomenally skilled as a lover, better than any Lexa had ever had and sometimes she was so blown away by the experiences she had with the blonde she found herself unable to communicate much of anything for quite some time after, her mind almost dormant from the physical pleasure.

Clarke wanted nothing in return this time, seeming very content just to please Lexa and bring her these experiences.

The more time Lexa spent with her, the more she realised that Clarke just wanted to bring Lexa as much joy as she could and was at her happiest when she made Lexa happy.

It was that evening that made Lexa understand that she would risk getting caught a million times over, that she wanted Clarke so much that she would risk everything for more experiences with her.  
When Clarke slept in her bed that night, lying on her back Lexa leaned to kiss the side of Clarke's neck as she slept. She inhaled the scent of the blonde. She smelled of flowers, sweet and natural.

Lexa rested a hand on Clarke's thigh, gently brushing her fingers over the skin there almost as if to remind her she was real, that she was actually there. Lexa shuffled and pressed her body up against Clarke's to cuddle up closer. Clarke shifted a little and drew Lexa's hand to rest up around her lovers waist. Lexa brushed the blonde hairs away from her pale skin and snuggled in to rest on her lover's neck and chest.

"I wish I could've danced with you in front of everyone", she said in a low whisper. "I wish you could stay forever."

Clarke was already sleeping peacefully her head leaning towards Lexa's. She seemed absolutely content and it occured to Lexa that Clarke had not had trouble sleeping the entire time they'd been in TonDC.

 

 


	24. Delinquent Behaviour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delinquents arrive at TonDC leaving Clarke and Lexa with little time to be alone. Clarke struggles to everything running smoothly and Jasper gets drunk and reminds Clarke of her past decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some PTSD symptoms mentioned in this chapter but it's very minimal. Take care when reading this chapter if this is something that affects you. I currently suffer from the condition myself so I understand when people find certain aspects of fiction difficult to read because it brings up bad memories. I will try my best to put notes at the start of chapters that could be difficult.

The delinquents arrival at TonDC was difficult for Clarke to say the least. Monty, Jasper and Harper arrived together, with Miller and Monroe arriving later with Octavia, Lincoln, Indra and a small trikru force. They were only supposed to be there to help reinforce TonDC's defences but in true delinquent fashion, many of them began to enjoy their surroundings too much and Clarke spent more time watching that they didn't get into trouble than finding time to spend with Lexa.

When Murphy arrived however, Clarke immediately took him aside in the hallway to question him.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered glancing around them for any of her people lurking around the halls.

"Bellamy sent word that I was needed here. I couldn't exactly tell him the truth now could I?"

Clarke's eyes steeled over, her anger rising. She knew it wasn't fair to Bellamy. He didn't know but the one thing that eased her worries was knowing that Murphy was keeping tabs on Darius and that he was nowhere near Lexa.

"And Darius?" Clarke asked, her jaw tensing in her efforts to control her tone.

"He's visiting friends on the other side of TonDC. I got a friend to keep watch."

Clarke narrowed her eyes.

"What friend?"

"Emori. I've worked with her before. She's trustworthy. She won't tell anyone."

Clarke shook her head.

"Murphy! I told you to tell no one."

Murphy snapped back, his expression changing from relaxed to annoyed almost immediately.

"And I didn't but I can't be in two places at once and I can't follow him all day and night. I need to sleep sometimes too."

Murphy calmed his tone but there was still venom in his voice.

"Emori won't be a problem," he continued, "but if you can't handle her helping me out give your secret mission to another lackey."

Clarke pursed her lips together. She hated it but he waa right. It wasn't a job for one person. As long as no one connected the dots between Murphy, her and Lexa, their secret was safe.

"Fine," she replied. "But no one else. No one else can know."

"Whatever Clarke. Just keep paying me my share and I'm good."

He wasn't even looking at her now, his attention drifting. Likely he was tired and hungry. It was getting long past meal time and the new guests had been invited to join everyone for dinner. Clarke was looking forward to seeing Lexa even for a little while. With the others there she hadn't risked staying in Lexa's room and she felt as though they had barely seen each other since they arrived.

Clarke entered the banquet room and saw Lexa sitting rather formally across from Raven and Anya. The King was at the head of the table and the Queen adjacent to him. Lexa glanced up as she entered and Clarke headed to sit beside her, gently squeezing Lexa's hand under the table. Lexa's fingers entwined with Clarke for a few seconds and then when the other guests arrived they separated from the touch, afraid they might give something away.

It started off well. Formal greetings were exchanged and everyone sat down to eat.  Within a short time however, the delinquents were loud, rambunctious and practically giddy to be getting such high treatment and Clarke could see Lexa becoming more and more uncomfortable with their boisterousness.

The King and Queen excused theirselves not wanting to associate with them longer than necessary and Jasper, who was becoming more and more drunk, turned his attention to Lexa as if to settle a personal vendetta between himself and Polis.

"Hey your highness, if you're after another husband, I'll happily oblige."

Jasper laughed taking yet another gulp from his drink and Monty urged him to behave.

"What happened to your last husband anyway? Rumour has it, he ran away with someone else. Guess even the royals are unlucky in love or maybe royals are just boring in bed."

"Jasper," Clarke warned.

His eyes turned to Clarke, full of pain and hatred. He still mourned Maya and he was deliberately taking it out on Lexa as if it was her fault.

"Or what Clarke? You gonna blow me up like you did Finn? Maya shouldn't have even been on that battlefield. You picked the extra troops for the front line. You put her there."

Clarke avoid his eyes shaking her head, the guilt still raw, the memories threatening to surface.

"I did what I had to. She was one of the best. We needed every capable person if we stood a chance. It was a sensible decision."

Jasper scoffed and got to his feet storming out. Octavia stood up to follow him but scowled at Clarke first.

"You really aren't helping him by saying stuff like that Clarke."

"What do you want me to say?"

Octavia shook her head.

"Forget it. Not everyone can just switch their feelings off like you Clarke. He loved her."

Clarke grimaced, the image of Finn flashing through her mind, the flames, the screaming, Jasper crouched over Maya's body. She felt a tentative hand slip into her own and tangle their fingers together. Clarke glanced at Lexa gratefully, bringing herself back to reality and knew that no matter the risk, she would try to spend time with Lexa that night. She needed to. A soft thumb brushed over the back of her hand making small circles and Clarke sighed and turned back to her meal.

When she raised her head she saw Raven staring at her, a sadness in her eyes at the mention of her first love. Anya's arm had crept across Raven's shoulders protectively and Clarke would've given anything at that moment to be able to tell them all that Lexa was off limits to their teasing, to take it out on their leader not on the shy princess who had never hurt a soul in her entire life.

Lexa didn't let go of Clarke's hand for the rest of the night and the blonde didn't know what she would have done if she wasn't there with her.

Later that night, Clarke knocked on Lexa 's door as quietly as possible. Everyone else was in bed and Clarke had just lay on her own bed, unable to rest until she had her chance to go to Lexa. The second she was sure it was safe she had headed straight to Lexa's door. The princess opened the door, their eyes meeting immediately as Clarke entered.

Lexa didn't ask questions about why Clarke had taken the risk when just a few days earlier she had told Lexa she couldn't stay the night while her people were at TonDC.  
She didn't have to. Clarke rarely needed to explain anything to Lexa. She never judged, never criticised. She just let Clarke close the door behind her and wrap her arms around Lexa to pull her closer and draw her into a hug.

"I'm sorry," Clarke whispered, her hand resting on the back of Lexa's head. "He shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"It wasn't your fault," Lexa said softly. "You were put in an impossible situation."

Clarke huffed not breaking the hug and Lexa rested her head on Clarke's shoulder.

"He lost the woman he loved. If it was you... If someone put you in danger and something happened... I don't think I could forgive them either."

"You sacrifice everything for them yet they are ungrateful," Lexa said in a gentle tone.  
"I don't think they know who you are at all."

Clarke brushed her hair, closing her eyes to revel in the relief at holding her in her arms again.

"Thank you," Clarke whispered.

"What for?" Lexa asked raising her head.

Clarke cupped her face.

"For understanding that I'm just one person and that I don't have all the answers. You're the only person who gets it."

Lexa smiled, her eyes shining.

"You are the only person who asked me what I wanted. No one else bothered or cared to ask. You freed me. As much as I can be free."

"I'll change the world if I have to," Clarke told her, determined blue eyes blazing back at Lexa. "One day you will be able to be open about your sexuality. I'll make it happen somehow."

Lexa avoided her eyes shyly.

"I just believe you might Clarke," she replied with the hint of smile. "If anyone can it's you."

Clarke surged forward and closed the distance between them and they kissed, languishing in the embrace of each other.

Without words they fell onto the bed and onto each other neither of them able to care if the whole world crashed around them afterwards as long as they had this moment.

 


	25. Not a Word More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Raven bump into each other in the library while Clarke misses spending time with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - This chapter has some references to past domestic abuse including verbal bullying and some violence but as always I don't describe it too deeply. It's more about Lexa opening up about her past.

One afternoon, Octavia was searching in the library for an old book her mother used to read her as a child.

She'd grown up extremely poor and hidden from everyone except Bellamy and her mother. The landlord was cruel and any occupant who had more than one child was thrown out on the streets to starve.

When he did just that they all got caught and spent the new few weeks surviving on the streets. Her mother was arested for stealing food to survive and executed as an example to the people. It wasn't much later that Octavia got caught and Bellamy deliberately turned himself in and they both got sent to the front.

Raven strode in through the large wooden doors and headed straight for Octavia when she saw her.

"What are you doing in here? Thought you'd be spending time in that big fancy bedroom with Lincoln."

Octavia gave her a look and followed the book shelf all the way around to the back, unable to find the book she remembered so fondly as a child

"Yeah well. I wanted to check out the rest of the palace. Might as well make the most of our time here. What about you?"

Raven held up a book about advanced engineering with steam powered devices and Octavia raised her eyebrows.

"Didn't think you needed any help in that area."

"I don't. I just like reading other engineers work. This guy gets it so wrong it's hilarious."

Octavia's eyes were still on the shelves, deeply disappointed that she still couldn't find the book she was after. Raven searched the shelves across from her, her back turned to Octavia and they both heard footsteps, a frustrated huff and someone sitting down at the table in the centre of the room.

Octavia glanced back at Raven.

 _Lexa_ she mouthed back. Octavia glanced to the side of the shelf and saw the princess seated alone and reading a large book. She wore a long silk gown and her hair was loose around her shoulders.

Suddenly they heard the library door shut and Octavia saw Lexa raise her head and smile warmly. Clarke seated herself in the chair next to the princess.

"Hey Princess. I can't stay long but I thought I might find you here before I head out."

Lexa only smiled more as Clarke sighed.

"Busy day?"

"You have no idea," Clarke replied. "Between keeping an eye on Jasper, making sure everyone is up to date with their training... I also had to ride out and stop a group of bandits from attacking the border and I had to do a ton of paperwork."

Clarke stopped herself.

"I'm sorry," she continued "I haven't had much time to come and see you."

Lexa closed her book and turned her head sideways.

"It's okay Clarke. I know how hard you work for your people."

Clarke put her left arm around Lexa's chair leaning closer.

"I don't think I've been able to draw a single thing for days now. I'm itching to draw something. Mostly you."

"Me?"

Clarke lifted her right hand to Lexa's chin as if studying her.

"Yes _you_ , beautiful."

Clarke's tone was teasing and Lexa smiled, lowering her head shyly. The blonde's fingertips lifted her head up to meet blue eyes with green.

"What did he do to you to make you believe that you aren't as special as you are?"

Lexa blinked at her words and Clarke could see the emotion behind her eyes, the memories still painful.

"He said I was worthless and unattractive. He told me that no one would want me and when I spoke out of turn he put his hands on me."

Lexa's voice was low now, almost a whisper.

"He pinned me to the wall by my throat to frighten me. I was so scared. After that I became so jumpy around people when they became angry or loud. He told me it was my fault for failing him."

When Lexa raised her eyes, Clarke was staring at her with absolute compassion, her eyes so tender. The blonde caressed her softly and leaned forward to place a kiss on her lips.

"He lied," Clarke simply said before leaning in to kiss her again.

The pair became swept up in the passionate kiss, knowing that they hadn't time for much more that day. It became heated quickly, Clarke leaning in closer and closer, her arm across Lexa's body as if to shield her with her own body.

  
Octavia was frozen as she watched the whole exchange in shock and Raven grabbed her quickly. She wrapped an arm around Octavia, covering her mouth with one hand, keeping her still and quiet.

"Shhh," Raven told her as she struggled. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for proof? You'll ruin it."

Both Octavia and Raven could still see the Princess and the Commander making out, heatedly at the desk. Lexa climbed onto Clarke's lap and Clarke held her there, kissing her back in slow, sensual movements, her tongue dipping into Lexa's mouth as they both clung to each other in an undeniably sexual but tender manner.

Lexa pulled back and rested her forehead on Clarke's.

"How long will you be gone?"

"All night," Clarke replied with a note of disappointment in her tone. "I probably won't be back until tomorrow. Wanheda stuff you know."

Lexa nodded slightly and closed her eyes to make the moment last.

"I didn't lock the door," Clarke said quietly. "I only have a few minutes before I leave but someone could walk in. I shouldn't be putting you in danger like this."

Lexa lifted her head and opened her eyes, staring into those blue eyes as if Clarke was her entire world. Clarke stared back, an uncharacteristic softness in her expression that Octavia had never seen before. Truthfully Octavia had never seen Clarke look at anyone as she looked at Lexa now. Lexa leaned forward and hugged Clarke and she sighed in reply.

"I wish l could spend the night with you," Clarke said, holding Lexa against her, her fingers in the brunette's soft, thick waves of hair.

"Me too," Lexa replied.

Clarke released Lexa and they got to their feet rather formally, standing apart. They looked for all the world as if they never wanted to part.

"I'll see you soon," Clarke said, leaning in with one hand to bring Lexa into a kiss. "Forget everything Darius said. You are the most intelligent, kind, amazing woman I have ever met and he didn't deserve you."

Lexa blinked again and nodded.

"Go change the world, Clarke."

Clarke's face flickered with something so tender at those words that Lexa thought she might cry with happiness that someone felt this way about her, that someone cared about her so much.

Clarke nodded, stole another kiss and then headed out, glancing back at Lexa as she left. Lexa sighed and turned back to gather up her books before leaving the library, closing the door behind her.

Raven released her grip from Octavia, uncovering her mouth and Octavia spun around immediately.

"What the hell? Her and the Princess of Polis! Our _enemy_."

"Former enemy. We have a treaty remember."

Octavia turned away and threw up her hands before turning back.

"How long have you known about this? What is she thinking?"

Raven's lip curled up and her eyes steeled over in that way they always did when she became defensive.

"I had my suspicions all year but this is the first time I've caught them."

Octavia was clearly agitated.

"How could she do this? We have to tell the others."

"We can't and she isn't. You tell the others and all hell will break loose. Didn't you hear what they were saying? That was her ex-husband she was talking about. The one her parents forced her to marry. How do you think the world will react to her and Wanheda having a secret affair?"

Octavia gritted her teeth as she spoke.

"Well they should've thought of that. They are our enemies!"

Raven's lip curled up even more.

"So is Anya mine? Is Lincoln yours? Why are the rules different for Clarke or are you just taking all your shit out on Clarke as usual? Seriously, what is it with you and blaming her for everything. Do you think you can do better?"

Octavia stopped, realising that Raven was right.

"No. It's different. She's the leader. I didn't mean..."

Raven's eyes flickered downwards as if she was dressing Octavia down.

"Look, I know you've had it shitty. Hell we all have but we can't turn on each other. Clarke has kept us all alive. We owe her some loyalty for that so you keep what you saw to yourself right."

Octavia nodded in agreement.

"Fine," she replied. "I'll keep quiet but people will find out eventually."

Raven observed her carefully and knew that Octavia would be true to her word. She was angry about what had happened. They all were and they all dealt with it in different ways. Underneath Octavia always meant well, she just let her anger get the better of her and sometimes forgot that Clarke was the same age they were.

"Then we're good. I'm gonna go and make good use of those luxury baths they have here."

Raven left and Octavia still scowled but deep down she knew that she was being unfair on Clarke. It had been a shock to see them interacting. Clarke had been so different with Lexa, warm and loving and open. Clarke always seemed to keep herself shut away from the delinquents, distanced as if that was the only way she could lead them. Octavia hadn't imagined even for a moment that the ruthless Wanheda could be so soft.

Octavia glanced up not sure what to do with this new revelation and saw a familiar title that made her smile.

_Metamorphoses: The Book of Transformation_

_Ovid_

She took the book from the shelf and held it against her chest thinking of her mother and left the library deep in memories of her childhood.

 

 

 

 

 


	26. You Deserve Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is suspicious when Nia retreats and finds she doesn't want to leave Lexa. Anya is injured leading Raven to open up about her past and Lexa has a request for Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. This chapter mentions the death of a parent from addiction but this is minimal. I lost my dad many years ago who was an alcoholic but still a very decent man so I know this could be a trigger for some. I took the relationship between Raven and her mother here from what she said to Zeke in Season 4 of the show about the people she loved hurting her but there's little detail about the circumstances and it's more about Raven's feelings towards the situation.

"It's over. We can go back to Arkadia."

Monty was clearly thrilled at the idea of going home but the words pained Clarke far more than he could realise. Nia had retreated after her troops had been hit on three different fronts. Clarke wasn't so sure it wasn't a rouse but the delinquents were all happy it seemed to be over.

They were seated in a lounge area that the group had been using for most of their stay. Clarke glanced at Lexa who was seated at a desk in the corner, reading as per usual. Her lips were curved downwards at the corners and Clarke saw her press them together as if to silence herself from voicing her feelings. She met Clarke's eyes, her green eyes saddened and Clarke felt a lump forming in her throat.

Clarke turned away shaking her head a little. This couldn't be it. The thought of leaving Lexa again possibly forever felt like a dagger in her heart. She'd done it last time but it was as if she had left a part of herself behind. This went deeper than just sex. It always had but each time she even flirted with Lexa she put the princess in trouble so why was she being so reckless?

She couldn't resist taking a worried look at Lexa who was very still and pretending to read but whose mask was slipping. The sadness there and how her jaw was tensed pained Clarke. She bit her lip and became determined. She would find a way to make sure Lexa was happy, with or without her. Clarke could not abandon her right now. Lexa still needed her.

 _Or do you need her?_ Clarke thought.

Clarke ignored the thought.

"So when do we leave?" Harper asked.

Clarke caught the look that passed between Monty and Harper. They were keen to get back, both wanting to settle down together in Arkadia. Monty wore a happy smile and Harper looked back at him fondly. They didn't know how lucky they were to be free to pursue their relationship.

"Don't you think it's odd how quickly Nia retreated?" Octavia asked.

The thought had been bothering Clarke since the retreat had been sounded.

"She was losing on all three fronts," Monty replied. "Why wouldn't she retreat?"

"Because it makes her look weak and I think she would rather die," Octavia answered.

Clarke sighed.

"Octavia's right. Something's up. Maybe I should gather more information about Azgeda's plans. I can stay in Polis. It's closer and I have some contacts there."

Lexa's head shot up, her mouth open in surprise. Clarke shot her a look that said they would talk about it later but Clarke felt as if she was only delaying the inevitable.

"Lincoln has a contact who might be able to help you sneak in and out of Azgeda. Said she's the best smuggler in all the lands."

"Luna," Lincoln offered, hovering at Octavia's side. "She keeps a low profile but I can get you a meeting with her."

Clarke nodded.

"Thank you. I'll send word to Bellamy and Wells. I should talk this over with Anya. She took a few hits in the battle but is okay. She'll want to know even if she's going to be laid up here for a week or two."

"Is Raven with her?" Octavia asked.

"What do you think?" Clarke replied raising am eyebrow.

"Of course," Octavia replied with a nod. "She wouldn't be anywhere else."

"I'll go and speak to them now."

  
Anya watched her girlfriend pace beside her bed. She was in their room in TonDC, in their shared bed. Her ribs were badly bruised and wrapped in bandages.

"Raven. It's not serious. I've had worse."

"You could've died! You don't need to be on the front lines anymore. You're a general not a soldier! Delegate!"

Anya scowled.

"I will _always_ be a soldier. How can I ask my warriors to follow me into a battle I am not willing to face myself?"

Raven pouted in annoyance, lowering her eyes. Anya knew that she hated to lose an argument but she knew Anya was right about this.

"Raven this is who I am. I cannot change."

Raven sat on the bed and took Anya's hand clasping it in her own.

"When I saw you on the stretcher and all that blood, it scared me. I lost my mother to addiction, I lost Finn.... They were my family. They were all I had. Even when they kept hurting me I kept going back for more because they were all I had."

Anya reached to touch Raven's hair. She had it up in a ponytail as per usual, unable to stand her hair getting in the way when she was working.

"That's not how family is supposed to work."

Raven lay down beside Anya staying on top of the covers and hugged her, careful to avoid her wounds.

"How is it supposed to work?"

"Well," Anya said calmly. "They love you no matter what. You might disagree sometimes. You might argue but you still care about each other but the most important thing-"

Anya turned to gaze into those big, brown eyes.

"The most important thing..." Raven repeated, urging her to continue.

"Is treating them with respect. Your mother was ill but it gave her no right to mistreat you. Finn was young and foolish but it gave him no right to give himself to another. They were not evil but you deserve better. Family works together to keep each other safe. With real love you give and take and you listen. You don't just take."

Raven's eyes flicked down to study Anya's eyes and lips.

"I love you."

Anya stared back at her, something softening in her eyes. It was the softest Raven had ever seen her. It was tender and warm, and deep in her heart Raven knew that Anya would never treat her the way Finn had. She would never abandon her or reject her. She would fight fearlessly for those she cared for.

"I love you too."

Raven grinned at her reply and planted a bold kiss on Anya's lips. She cuddled up to Anya, resting her head against her neck.

They both heard a polite cough and Raven  raised her head to find Clarke standing at the end of the bed awkwardly.

"I need to speak to Anya for a few moments about what comes next."

"Next?" Raven demanded sitting up, her emotions still raw from the day's events. "We _won_. What more she need to do?"

Anya shifted, her eyes still closed.

"She didn't retreat," Anya groaned in annoyance. "Nia wanted to make us think she did. She would never retreat."

"No, she wouldn't. It's a trick."

"Well whatever you need to tell Anya, you better get on with it because I'm not moving from her side."

Clarke observed the brunette and the blonde lying together peacefully and it only made her think of how she felt with Lexa, the warmth, the comfort. She understood exactly why Raven didn't want to leave her side.

"Okay. Here's the plan," she started.

  
Lexa waited anxiously for Clarke to return that evening. They were preparing to leave the following morning and they hadn't had a chance to talk yet. It was getting late and Lexa needed to know whether she had definitely decided to stay in Polis. Until she did they were in limbo.

Clarke knocked on the door and entered, shutting it behind her as quietly as possible.

"Clarke," Lexa said, breathing out in relief.

"I'm sorry it took me so long. I had a lot to finish up here."

Lexa nodded.

"It's okay," she dismissed politely as if Clarke's work was more important than Lexa.

Clarke noticed her tone and stepped forward.

"It's not. You are important to me too Lexa. Don't ever think that you are second best to anything."

She was so earnest as she spoke that Lexa was almost stunned by her honesty.

"I- I-..."

Clarke placed one hand on Lexa's shoulder and one on her cheek.

"I mean it Lexa. You are worth so much more than you know. Don't ever think that you don't deserve an explanation from me because you do."

Lexa's jaw slackened. She couldn't get over the woman in front of her now. Clarke was tracing her jawline and her lips with her fingertips delicately, her eyes dreamily half-closed.

"W-Why?" Lexa choked out.

"Why what?"

Lexa couldn't seem to find the words.

"Why are you so good to me? No one else is. No one else ever has been."

Clarke exhaled deeply through her nose in a deep but happy sigh still staring at Lexa's lips as she absent-mindedly skimmed over her features.

"Because you deserve it. Because you are kind and thoughtful and good and you deserve everything good in the world."

Lexa blinked, a tear falling down her cheek and Clarke brushed it away with her thumb.

"I mean it. You deserve better than what life has given you."

Lexa surged forward onto Clarke's lips, losing herself in the new feeling that flooded through her. No one had ever made her feel this way. No one. She wanted to voice this to Clarke, that she was special too, that she deserved better too. Clarke gave everything of herself to the world and asked nothing in return. Lexa wanted to give Clarke everything of herself. She would give Clarke every piece of her heart for Clarke already owned it and always would.

Clarke moved to pull away but Lexa resisted and tugged on her sleeves keeping them within an inch of each other.

"Stay with me tonight," Lexa whispered.

Clarke stopped very still as if hesitating, her head and her heart in conflict. Lexa had never asked her for anything and this was her first request, just to be with Clarke. For once Clarke felt wanted, felt appreciated like someone accepted her with all their heart. She let Lexa lead her backwards and watched her sit herself down on the bed, gazing up at Clarke with her mouth open as if she was some miracle. The candlelight lit up her eyes and Clarke lost herself in those aquamarine eyes unable to tear herself away from the image of Lexa staring up at her expectantly.

Clarke decided that they were too far gone anyway and fell onto the bed and onto Lexa, her hand landing on the mattress as Lexa wrapped one hand around the back of her head to guide her down and back into her embrace.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	27. Early Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa recover from their night together. Lexa oversleeps and everyone shares a quiet breakfast before heading out on their next journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used the word crepes here because I know there's a cultural difference with the word pancakes. Pancakes here in the UK can be thick or thin and synonymous with crepes (although crepes are always thin). Most people here in the North call them pancakes but will understand what you mean by crepes. 
> 
> Also if you have never tried them, Scotch pancakes taste great. Both Northern English and Scottish food is really great despite what people believe about British food. 
> 
> Also. I looove pancake day (shrove tuesday) even though I am not religious. It's the one holiday I will not give up because it's literally a day just to eat a lot of pancakes.

Lexa's head tilted back, her eyes closed as Clarke's fingers buried themselves inside her body. She cried out, her body taut as Clarke brought her to the edge.

_Clarke..._

_Right there._

_Mmm..._

The sound of Lexa crying out her name with her fingers inside her echoed through Clarke's mind. She had watched Lexa through her orgasm, studying the way she breathed rapidly, how she tensed and pushed her hips up for more. Clarke caressed her clitoris with her thumb and Lexa inhaled sharply, tensing again.

When she felt Lexa fall over the edge it was beautiful. All the tension built to a crescendo and then she relaxed and breathed out and fell back down to earth. Her head fell to one side, eyes still closed as she nuzzled the pillow with her head.

Clarke couldn't tear her eyes away, couldn't stop listening to her panting as she recovered from her orgasms. They had started off loving and tender. They had taken their time, Clarke undressing her slowly, Lexa willing giving herself to her touch.

Clarke had explored each inch of Lexa's body with her mouth, soft breasts, sensitive erect nipples. Neither of them minded taking their time, both craving the intimacy, both just wanting to be touched and to touch. After Clarke brought Lexa to her first orgasms with her mouth, Lexa flipped her still hungry for more and her fingers searched for Clarke's entrance.

She had already been wet, so very ready for her, and Lexa's touch was heaven as she slipped inside Clarke with long, slender fingers and reached places that sent Clarke's body reeling with pleasure. Lexa was focussed and patient and she had learned fast what Clarke liked and Clarke had built to the most phenomenal high she had ever experienced (which, given her previous incredible nights with Lexa, was saying something). She gripped Lexa's hips needing something to hold onto as she fell and fell hard into sensory bliss.

When she opened her eyes Lexa's eyes were studying her face in curiosity, full of warmth, softness and a little bit of triumph. She loved Lexa like this. It was rare she was ever confident but in this she was. She knew what she could do to Clarke and she took great joy in it. She tilted her head sideways and leaned her body over Clarke to reconnect their lips. It was slow, languid, relaxing but after a few moments it became heated again and Clarke rolled Lexa and they started again locked in a passionate embrace.

They had clung to each other as they slept, Lexa wrapping her arms around Clarke's body as if she never wanted her to leave and it had been the best Clarke had slept for a long time. She had sighed, the sweet scent of Lexa's perfumed body a relief to her senses, a comfortable smile refusing to leave her lips. Lexa panted still, her heatbeat fast but steady and Clarke thought that there was nothing better than sharing this moment with the woman she loved.

"Wake up sleepy. Where's your head at this morning?"

Raven waved a hand in front of her eyes and Clarke came back to reality. They were eating breakfast in the dining room. Everyone was filling up before they hit the road for Arkadia and Polis. Octavia and Lincoln were talking to Jasper, Monty and Harper. Monroe and Fox were teasing Murphy and Raven was telling the maids to make sure to send some of it to Anya even though Clarke had no doubt that Raven would stay with Anya until she was fit to travel too.

Lexa was the only one who was late, oversleeping for once. She hadn't even woken when Clarke had kissed her forehead and played with her hair, whispering a farewell to her before reminding her that they would be back in Polis the next day.

She appeared fatigued when she arrived, her hair not quite as neat, the maids not having time to tidy it for her. Waves of it fell over her face and in her eyes as she moved slowly to sit in the only empty chair left neither the end of the table across from Clarke.

Lexa met Clarke's eyes and they shared a moment, both secretly acknowledging that last night had been special. Clarke could tell that Lexa was fatigued still. They both were. Clarke could still feel Lexa's blunt nails digging into her back. She could still remember how those slender hands felt inside her. She tried not to remember while they were in front of people but she couldn't keep her thoughts clean while Lexa was in the room to remind her of exactly what they had done and willingly let each other do. She saw Lexa shift uncomfortably in her seat and knew she was the cause of Lexa's current condition.

"And there she goes again. Seriously Clarke. What is with you today?"

Clarke pulled herself together, turning her head towards Raven who was seated to her left.

"It's early. I'm not much of a morning person," Clarke assured her.

"We've _noticed_ ," Octavian replied dryly.

Clarke turned to her. Octavia shrugged and raised her eyebrows.

"We spent months in early morning training sessions with you forcing us to do push ups and laps if we even questioned you."

"I had to make sure you were all ready."

Clarke blinked and shook her head.

"As ready as we could be," she added.

Clarke lost herself in her thoughts. She didn't need to look at Lexa to know the princess was throwing glances her way. She could practically feel her presence from across the room drawing her closer. Lexa burned so bright that Clarke easily lost focus when she was in the room. It amazed Clarke that other people could not see it, could not see her.

"So... Polis," Octavia added, trying to break the silence. "I hear it's fancy as hell. A few weeks there and we might not want to leave."

The other delinquents grunted in agreement as they tucked in to their meals. TonDC was certainly more lavish than Arkadia though they were growing in wealth. It had been quite a change for most of them.

"No wonder rich people are so happy, eating like this all the time," Monty added with a smile.

Clarke raised her fork to take a mouthful of the crepes on her plate. There was fresh fruit and syrup and it tasted like heaven. She closed her eyes as devoured it and let out a low moan of enjoyment. When she opened her eyes Lexa was staring at her, her eyes blazing. If Clarke ever blushed she would've been bright red as it was obvious how Lexa had interpreted the moan. God knew the sound was familiar to the princess.

Clarke darted her eyes away and refocussed on her plate and on enjoying the meal. She was famished after her night with Lexa and she noticed the princess eating quicker than usual too, clearly just as hungry as Clarke was .

"Alexandria!" her mother scolded. "Remember your lessons. A princess does not eat like a savage."

Lexa huffed, almost like a scolded teenager.

"Yes, mother."

There was the hint of annoyance in her tone, her tiredness overshadowing her natural politeness. It was uncharacteristic of her but her eye roll and exaggerated tone made Clarke want to laugh so much that she had to bite her lip.

"I think it's good to show enjoyment for your meal," Clarke offered, knowing that her input would only serve to annoy the queen further. "If you think about it, it's not savage at all to follow your _natural_ instincts."

Clarke could see a mischievous smile sneaking across Lexa's lips. She turned her head to hide it but Clarke felt victorious in her efforts to make her girlfriend happy, despite her mother's constant criticism.

_Girlfriend? We haven't agreed to that. Stop it.  
_

The word had found it's way into her thoughts randomly but made Clarke happy at the thought of it. She was becoming possessive again. It was Lexa's choice. Clarke had to be careful of that side of her nature. She was getting ahead of herself.

They were lovers. Neither of them had said anything about being in a relationship. That was a bigger step. That was committment and when it came to relationships Clarke was naturally elusive, too preoccupied with the survival of her people to have time for them.

Clarke pushed the thought away but the protective feeling she had as she thought of Lexa as her girlfriend, wrapped around her heart like a warm blanket.

 _This isn't about you_ she reminded herself. _It's about her._

Clarke didn't know where this sudden possessiveness had come from but it beat strong in her heart and soul. She would put Lexa first always.

_You deserve love too Clarke._

Lexa's had not spoken those words the night before yet it was her that Clarke imagined saying them. Her soft spoken, careful voice reassuring Clarke.

"So are we all packed to go?" Clarke asked, redirecting her focus to the here and now.

"Yes."

"Done."

"Did it last night."

Her people all replied but Lexa was quieter than usual.

"I have a little left to do. My handmaids were precoccupied and I'm unaccustomed to preparing my own belongings for travel."

"I'll help you after breakfast," Clarke offered.

Everyone stared at her in surprise.

"What? We can't be late. I want to get to Polis before Nia has a chance to rebuild her army."

"Thank you Wanheda," Lexa replied formally.

"You're welcome Princess Alexandria."

A smile was playing on Clarke's lips as she spoke. She was teasing Lexa in that light hearted way she loved to.

They lowered their heads in sync, both focussing on finishing their breakfast to keep themselves from going any further with their flirtations.

"I tell you one thing," Murphy said suddenly. "I won't miss all the formal prancing about and condescending rich people but I sure as hell will miss their food."

Everyone murmoured in agreement. That was as close as Murphy got to giving anything praise. The delinquents and the Woods ate in relative peace and for once everyone seemed fairly happy with their situations in life.

 

 

 

 

 


	28. No One Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke helps Lexa pack and realises that she wants to be more capable and rely on her maids less. Raven tells Clarke she's staying with Anya and says goodbye. Lexa has a moment of jealousy which leads Clarke to say something she hadn't intended and an intense sexual encounter with Lexa brings Clarke to a realisation about their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - This chapter contains smut and depictions of lesbian sex. Also if you are offended by using religious terms like 'God' in these scenes you might want to avoid this one. 
> 
> Also I know Lexa is pretty soft in this fic but the next one I am have in mind will see Lexa being the tough one and Clarke being softer. I just wanted to explore the softer side of Lexa.

"Thank you for helping me. In truth I tried to do it myself and couldn't manage alone."

Clarke folded the dress neatly and placed it in the chest. She smiled at Lexa.

"Glad I can help."

Lexa sighed as she watched Clarke fold the clothes easily. She had tried many times to do the same but she always ended up with a messy bundle. The maids made it look so easy. Clarke noticed her frown and glanced up at her.

"You wanted to do this by yourself didn't you?"

Lexa shook her head, avoiding her eyes.

"It's silly."

Clarke touched her arm in concern, raising Lexa's chin.

"Hey. It's not silly," she said, resting one hand on her cheek. "Talk to me."

Lexa met her eyes and inhaled deeply as if to steady herself.

"I've never been allowed to do anything for myself. I-I wanted to learn. When you taught me to cook I felt so... so..."

Clarke raised her eyebrows in expectation.

"Normal," Lexa said, exhaling. "I've always felt as though I'm treated like a child. I want to be more capable."

Clarke's lips parted into a smile, her teeth showing.

"You want to be able to take care of yourself if necessary. That's smart. You never know when you might end up in a situation where you need to. So let's get started now."

Clarke positioned herself behind Lexa

"Okay so watch what I do with this one. It's easy."

Lexa's arms remained at her side as she watched Clarke folding the item, her hands in front of Lexa. The princess watched carefully. She took the next item and placed it on the bed in front of them.

"Here," Clarke said taking Lexa's hands to lead them. "Now you do it."

She moved Lexa's fingers for her, guiding her movements. When Lexa was done she had a neat dress in front of her.

"I did it!"

"You did."

Clarke smiled at how happy she was to do something so simple. She rested her head on Lexa's shoulder, one hand touching Lexa's waist. God she loved this woman. She watched the princess continue to fold the items with precision and care.

Someone knocked at the door and Clarke raised her head abruptly and separated from Lexa, feeling an immediate coldness in her heart at the loss of contact. Lexa glanced back at Clarke who moved away and went back to folding.

"Enter," Lexa said, still continuing her task.

Raven opened the door, poking her head in first. When she saw that she hadn't interrupted anything she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Clarke immediately looked up in concern, slipping straight back into being Wanheda.

"I just came to talk to you before you both left."

Raven glanced at Lexa folding clothes in confusion.

"I thought you'd have maids to do that for you."

Lexa didn't reply, not quite sure what to say.

"She wanted to do it herself," Clarke replied, not looking at Raven now. "Not all Princesses want to be waited on all the time."

Raven made a face as if to say 'I guess not' and then moved closer to Clarke.

"Hey Griff. I'm gonna stay with Anya until she recovers. It'll be another couple of weeks."

Clarke had known it already but she tilted her head towards Raven.

"Sure."

"I mean I know you need my genius and all and she's tough but I-"

Clarke cut her off.

"Raven, I get it. You don't want to leave without her. Don't worry about it. It's only a few weeks."

Raven grinned and then hugged Clarke.

"Thanks. Don't do anything stupid and all heroic and dangerous while I'm gone."

They separated and Clarke noticed Lexa watching the exchange yet pretending she wasn't. She turned away as soon as they turned to her.

"I'll try not to."

"See you soon. You too Lexa," Raven said with a nod.

Lexa raised her head.

"See you soon," Lexa replied, politely imitating her words.

Raven turned and exited the room, more awkward than Clarke had ever seen her.

 _What was going on with her. Did she not like Lexa?_ Clarke narrowed her eyes, frowning.

"You and Raven seem - close."

Clarke stopped what she was doing and turned her head with a big smirk.

"Are you jealous Princess?"

Lexa became flustered and avoided her eyes.

"No that's not what I meant. I never intended."

Clarke laughed and wrapped her arms around Lexa.

"Raven's just my friend. We've been through a lot and I care about her but nothing has ever happened between us."

Lexa relaxed and smiled placing another folded dress on the pile. Clarke kissed her neck and held her tighter, closing her eyes and resting her head on the back of Lexa's neck.

"Besides I already have a girlfriend silly," she whispered.

Lexa became very still and Clarke tensed, her eyes flicking open as she realised what she had said. She didn't move a muscle as the princess dropped the gown she was holding and inhaled sharply. Lex turned slowly and Clarke released her, silenty cursing herself for her mistake. She hadn't meant to let it slip. It had felt so natural, so right that she hadn't even thought about what she was saying and how Lexa might feel about it.

"I-I mean. We haven't talked about that. It's your choice. You're not my... I never meant to... I know that you may not be ready."

Lexa was staring at her, not saying a word and Clarke's heart was beating fast, pounding hard in her chest.

 _Please say something_ she thought. _I didn't mean to upset you._

"Is that what we are? Girlfriends?" Lexa said finally.

"I-If you want. I mean I guess so. It's really your choice. I don't expect anything. You can even see other people if that's what you want but I'm not interested in seeing anyone else-"

Lexa interrupted her rambling.

"Clarke. I want this too."

Clarke breathed out in relief, a broad smile playing across her lips.

"Are you sure? Because we can totally take it slower if you need or-"

"Clarke," Lexa interrupted again leaning in so that their lips were almost touching. "Stop talking."

The blonde took a deep breath.

"Okay."

Lexa brought her lips to Clarke's tilting her head to give her better access and their mouths merged, moving together in sweet ecstacy. Clarke moaned and deepened the kiss and Lexa moved backwards, Clarke following her desperately as she scrambled to lock the door without breaking the kiss.

When her back hit the door they were both too far gone to stop.

"Girlfriend," Lexa whispered in between heated kisses.

She pushed Clarke her hands roaming the blonde's body under her clothes.

"My girlfriend," she repeated, almost possessively.

The phrase did something to Clarke, something she couldn't describe. She felt warm, happy. She needed this. Needed Lexa. And they were both too far gone to pretend that it wasn't more than just an affair.

Lexa surged forward at the words, a strange dominance coming over her. She pushed Clarke gently onto the bed and covered her body with her own. Clarke tried to refocus as Lexa's kisses began to travel down her body.

"We don't have time for this," Clarke mumbled, her eyes closed as Lexa's beautiful mouth kissed sensitive parts of her body.

Lexa was currently attached to the spot on her neck, just under her jaw and moving lower.

"We have time," Lexa muttered.

Clarke knew that they were going to be running late but she couldn't find it in her to disagree, not with Lexa sucking along her collarbone as she reached her hands under Clarke's clothing to squeeze her breast. Lust surged through her body and she was already wet with desire. She opened her eyes briefly and saw a wicked look in Lexa's eyes as she slipped her hand out from her clothes and moved to the first button on Clarke's pants.

"We really should be going..." Clarke said.

Lexa smiled and it was the most devious smile Clarke had ever seen on her. Clarke's eyes widened as Lexa undid the buttons on her pants one at a time. Lexa kept eye contact as she undid each one slowly and deliberately. Clarke became distracted with the sight of her, her curved mouth, her delicate fingers and the playful glint in her eyes. She gave up and closed her eyes, overcome with desire and Lexa pulled down her pants and moved her kisses lower.

When her mouth met Clarke's centre, the blonde turned her head to the side in rapture. Lexa licked the length of her entrance and began to lick the top parts of her vagina with delicate hunger.

Clarke was already so far gone she was couldn't have resisted if she tried. She gripped the bed covers with her hand and breathed out through her nose, well aware of Lexa's tongue tasting her slick folds.

Clarke couldn't hold back a moan and clenched, tightening her grip on the covers. Lexa was moving between her legs with no signs of wanting to stop any time soon. She seemed to be enjoying herself far too much for that. Lexa sounded as if she was having the best time of her life down there and made frequent light moans as if it was the best thing she had ever tasted.

Clarke didn't want the feeling to ever stop, her mind reeling. It this was what complete abandonment felt like she was all for it. God Lexa was good. She had never had sex like it in her life, not since she'd met Lexa. She couldn't keep her body still but Lexa held her in place like she was never letting Clarke go. She had never known Lexa to be really so possessive before. This was new.

In their relationship they were never controlling or possessive, each respecting the other too much to ever do that. Sexually it felt like Lexa was staking a claim and truthfully Clarke liked it a lot more than she had expected. It was as if their usual roles were reversed when it came to sex.

Clarke was normally the flirty one, the one who protected Lexa and checked she was always comfortable. In bed Lexa was a tiger and Clarke was more than happy to indulge her wild side.

She shuddered and her body twitched as she threw her head back. She was unable to cry out, no sound escaping her lips as the pleasure shook her, her body trembling then stiffening until it jerked and then Clarke did moan out in sheer sensory pleasure, her mind lost, her body taut as she fell over the edge. It was a long fall, a fulfilling one. Lexa was still down there but licking slower now, easing her down but the sensation only made Clarke want more and as she became aroused again, Lexa went back to work, licking and sucking her clitoris until Clarke felt herself falling again.

She was so close to another climax already, her body aching for it.

_Good God Lexa._

It was the only coherent thought she could form, unable to think of anything but how amazing it felt.

"God Lexa," she mumbled, writhing on the covers.

She cried out this time, unable to keep quiet. It was girlish and high, somewhere inbetween a moan and a scream. It hit her hard this time, shaking her to the core. She trembled and shuddered and hit the point that she had built to and good God it was incredible. Clarke didn't know what she had ever done before meeting Lexa. No one else was ever going to be enough after that.

She fell back, breathing rapidly as she languished in the lingering effects of her orgasm. She ran a hand over her eyes and forehead as she recovered her breath.

She felt Lexa shift and the brunette appeared above her, wiping her fingers across her mouth to remove the remnants of Clarke's arousal from her chin. Clarke was still panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She closed her eyes and felt Lexa tenderly caressing her face. Her touch was sublime and made Clarke fall ever that deeply in love with her. She kissed Clarke's cheek and hugged her, lowering her head as she rested her body on Clarke's.

"My girlfriend," she uttered.

Her voice was the sweetest sound Clarke had ever heard. It was the sound that made Clarke realise that her belief that she could ever leave Lexa again to go back to her people was foolish. She couldn't leave her even if she wanted to and she didn't ever want to.

Clarke wondered how this was going to work, with her ruling Arkadia. As long as she was needed there what did that mean for her and Lexa. How could they be together if they couldn't actually be together? What where they to do?

Clarke pursed her lips not sure what the solution was. She would have to move soon or else the others would come knocking at the door. She held Lexa protectively, her arms wrapping possessively around her as her mind whirred with thoughts of their future.

God she didn't want to let her go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia notices Clarke and Lexa's odd behaviour and Lexa and Clarke talk of the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng translations
> 
> Em ste meizen - It is beautiful  
> Yu laik meizen - You are beautiful  
> Mochof - Thank you  
> Ai gaf yu jok ai op - I want you to fuck me

"You took your time."

Octavia held open the coach door as the driver packed Clarke and Lexa's belongings. Clarke raised her eyes, her hair a little mussed.

"I'm here now."

Her voice came out dry and strained.  
Octavia observed her suspiciously as Clarke climbed into the coach, Lexa following behind her.

_Oh my God, they've totally been doing it while I'll been out here waiting for them._

Lincoln was already waiting and Octavia got into the coach not voicing her suspicions. Clarke shouted for the driver to set off and they were on their way.

It was barely twenty minutes into their journey when Octavia noticed Clarke struggling to stay awake. Her head was lowering as Lexa sat happily by her side with a book in her lap.

Clarke slowly drifted sideways, her head falling on Lexa's shoulder and Octavia noticed her tense and give the sleepy girl a glance. However she didn't move Clarke and Octavia saw the hint of a smile on her lips.

 _Yup. Definitely screwing_ Octavia thought as Clarke fell fast asleep on Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa just continued reading seeming more than content to leave her there. Octavia sighed and turned to look out of the the small window. The wooden coach rattled as it moved shaking them all as it did.  
It's going to be a long ride thought Octavia.

A few hours later they reached Polis. The stagecoach shook rather violently as it stopprd and Clarke awoke suddenly. She lifted her head from Lexa's shoulder. Octavia and Lincoln got out and quickly got out to stretch their cramped limbs.

"We've arrived," Lexa whispered.

There was a broad smile across her lips. Clarke touched her knee.

"Glad to be home?"

"Glad to have you here with me."

Clarke stole a quick kiss and then exited the coach holding the door open for Lexa.

 

Lexa was filled with delight as she watched Clarke open her case and begin to unpack. Their rooms were close by just as before and they would have some time before her parents returned and Octavia and Lincoln were sleeping in a different wing altogether.

"I like the new language you invented," she said, flicking through one of Clarke's books.

"Oh that. I intended it as a secret code and had one copy printed but I never used it. I call it trigedasleng."

"It's beautiful. Or should I say _em ste meizen._ "

" _Yu laik meizen_ ," Clarke offered with a smile.

"Um... _mochof_?"

Clarke grinned and nodded.

"You are welcome Princess."

Lexa flicked the page absorbed in the words, her curious mind grasping them easily. She closed the book and handed it out to Clarke but she refused.

"It's yours. Keep it. No one else knows it but me and I have it memorised. We may need it one day."

Lexa lowered her hand and continued to flick through the pages.

" _Mochof_ , Klarke," she replied, not looking up from the book.

Clarke gave her a sideways glance, watching her. Reading was something that Lexa was always enthusiastic about and her mind was sharp. She was far more intelligent than people realised and learned easier than anyone she had ever known besides Raven.  
She tilted her head sideways and then a grin spread across her lips.

"Clarke did you put swearwords in this?"

"Yes I did."

Lexa looked up at her and then chuckled. Clarke turned almost immediately at the sound, raised one eyebrow. Lexa was in a good mood today. They both were. That ache Clarke'd had at the prospect of leaving her and returning to Arkadia had subsided at least for now.

Clarke sat on the bed beside Lexa and put one arm around her as she flicked through the book still.

"So, we have the whole day to ourselves. What do you want to do?"

Lexa closed the book and placed it neatly on the side.

 _"Ai gaf yu jok ai op_ _Klarke_."

Clarke raised her eyebrows higher in surprise. She had never heard Lexa swear even once yet Lexa seemed very pleased with herself for learning that particular phrase. She slowly pushed the princess onto her back.

"You know, just because you're my girlfriend now, it doesn't mean you get to order me around," she teased, hovering over her.

Clarke laughed suddenly releasing Lexa's hands and then brought their lips together, falling onto Lexa with joy.

They kissed for what seemed like an age, Lexa nuzzling Clarke's nose with her own as she changed angles. When they broke apart Clarke just hugged Lexa content to savour the moment.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked.

"Mmmm?"

"What are we going to do about us?"

Clarke raised her head and brushed back Lexa's hair from her face. She caressed her lover's jaw with her thumb and fingertips.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I never planned for this."

Lexa sighed and Clarke wished she could offer something more. She had promised to change the world for Lexa. She still believed in that but as for their relationship... she had no idea what to do.

"Will you return to Arkadia when you have dealt with Nia?"

Clarke's blue eyes were clouded over. Lexa had never seen her so hesitant in anything.

"I d-don't know. I should. Maybe you could visit and I could find reasons to visit Polis more frequently. I could invite you and Aden both to Arkadia. Give you a tour. Much of it has been rebuilt since the wars but it's not as fancy as Polis or TonDC."

"I would love to visit. We could write to each in trigedasleng. You said no one else knows it," Lexa offered.

Clarke nodded.

"Sure. If you want to."

"I do."

Lexa kissed her on the cheek softly and Clarke blinked as she stared down at her love, so sweet and soft and loving.

"Me too."

Clarke placed one hand behind Lexa's neck and guided their lips together again and made her mind up that she was going to spend all night showing Lexa just how much she wanted her. She touched the side of Lexa's cheek with her fingertips allowing them to sink into her chestnut hair as she brushed the silken waves.

Later that night Clarke heard a knock at her door. She untangled herself from Lexa and narrowly opened the door.

"Murphy? What are you doing here?"

"It's Darius."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	30. Some Risks Are Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke learns that Darius is missing after meeting with Lexa's parents and decides to take the risk and ask Octavia for a favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your great comments. I read every one of them even if I don't always respond.

Clarke paced the hallway outside her room.

"What do you _mean_ you can't _find_ him?"

Murphy shrugged.

"I mean I can't find him. He was in TonDC and Emori and I were watching him then he went in a carriage with the King and Queen of Polis and no one has seen him since."

Clarke threw up her hands.

"How did you let him get away?"

Murphy glared at her, unimpressed with her tone.

"What was I supposed to do? Jump on the back? It was a royal carriage!"

Clarke tried to calm her beating heart. This was Lexa's mother's idea, she knew it.

"Okay. New plan. You find the King and Queen of Polis and snoop around for information of what they're doing. In the meantime we hire someone to find Darius."

"Emori will do it. We can trust her and she needs the money."

Clarke narrowed her eyes.

"Are you sure because this needs to be kept secret. It's important."

"Yeah. She knows these lands better than me anyway."

Clarke nodded.

"Okay. Send word to me as soon as you hear anything. I want him found."

Murphy agreed and Clarke sent him on his way not sure what she should tell Lexa.

She shook her head and returned to her room and to the sleeping princess who lay in her bed on her side. Clarke touched her hair as if to make sure she was safe and then undressed and climbed in next to her.

 _I won't let him hurt you_ she thought, brushing back Lexa's hair from her face. 

Lexa's eyelids fluttered and she stirred but did not wake and Clarke put one arm around her and held her close.

  
Later that morning when Lexa awoke Clarke sketching beside her. She didn't seem like she'd slept much.

"How long have you been awake?"

"A while," Clarke replied, rubbing the paper with one hand.

Clarke slowly placed the sketchpad down on her lap and turned to Lexa.

"We need to talk about something. It's about Darius."

Lexa froze and Clarke saw that familiar fear spread in her eyes and it broke her heart. Lexa had been free of him for so long. She didn't want Lexa to go back to believing what he'd told her.

"I asked Murphy to follow him when I returned to Arkadia. He's been keeping track of him. I wanted to make sure you were safe."

Lexa looked alarmed as she realised why Clarke was telling her.

"Is he planning something? I've learned to fight a little from Anya but I don't know if I can fight him."

Clarke put her hands on Lexa's shoulders.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Remember what I promised? Do you remember?"

Lexa nodded and exhaled, Clarke's touch easing her worries somehow. Those blue eyes were searching hers and Clarke was biting her lower lip thoughtfully.

"I have someone looking for him. He went into a carriage with your parents and hasn't been seen since. I won't leave your side until he's found."

Lexa met her eyes in surprise.

"What about Nia and Luna?"

"Let me worry about that. I'll make sure someone stays with you when I'm away. I'll ask Octavia. She doesn't need to know everything."

Lexa swallowed, her mind wandering to Darius. Clarke brought her hands to Lexa's face to bring back her focus.

"It will never happen again. He will never hurt you again. I will kill him first."

As she stared into those azure eyes they were like steel and Lexa believed she would.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked rubbing the sides of Lexa's arms. "I know how scary this is for you."

Lexa's voice was soft and low.

"I thought learning to defend myself would make it better, would make me less afraid of him but he still has power over me."

Clarke shook his head.

"No he doesn't, you only believe he does. He has no power at all. Trust me. He's a bully. If we face him and call his bluff he will back down."

Lexa lips were pursed together and she blinked twice.

"I don't know if I can."

Clarke held her forearms, brushing her thumbs against the soft skin there. She leaned in, determined but full of compassion.

"You can," she replied her eyebrows raising and lowering to emphasise her point. "I believe in you. You are amazing. He doesn't stand a chance against you."

"You've never seen me fight. How can you be so sure?"

Clarke's whole body was leaning forward as she engaged with Lexa.

"Because I know you and you can face anything."

Lexa shook her head not quite believing her but she smiled shyly and Clarke felt Lexa's tension subside.

"Come on," Clarke urged softly. "Breakfast should be served soon. I can get there early for once."

The smile grew a little more at her humour and they both got up to dress for breakfast.

  
"So the meeting takes place in a secret location. We meet at a neutral spot, laying down our weapons first and then we can talk with Luna."

Clarke listened as Lincoln laid out the plans for the meeting, her gaze drifting to Lexa at the other end of the room. They were in a the library, having eaten their breakfast and Lexa was sitting at her favourite table with her nose in a book, her long hair falling down over her eyes.

"Clarke?" Octavia interrupted. "Did you hear him?"

"When does she want to meet?" Clarke asked ignoring the question as her worries for Lexa distracted her.

"Today at midday," Lincoln replied.

Clarke nodded in reply.

"Okay. Send word to Luna. We'll meet her today."

Lincoln got up to leave and Octavia got up to follow him.

"Wait."

Octavia sat back down in confusion.

"I need to ask you for a favour," Clarke said in a low voice still glancing towards Lexa.

Octavia turned her head to the princess and back to Clarke.

"Lexa's ex-husband Darius, he's a dangerous man. He's missing and he may come after the princess. I need someone I trust to guard her until I return."

Octavia folded her arms wondering just why she should babysit some princess she barely knew.

"Doesn't the palace have guards?"

Clarke frowned and pressed her lips together. This was risky, asking Octavia but she couldn't leave Lexa unprotected while he was running around out there.

"The King and Queen encouraged his behaviour. The guards may not be trustworthy or may not understand the risk."

She recognised that affronted look on Octavia's face. She thought that she was being left behind because she was Bellamy's young sister and because Clarke didn't want her to help her with Azgeda.

"Octavia. This is really important. I need someone who can handle themselves if he shows up. He's violent. It's just until I'm sure she's safe. They're our allies now."

Octavia frowned back at her as if she was trying to figure out Clarke's motives.

"Fine," she said. "But I'm not going to be her maid or something. She can't order me around."

"You don't have to be. Just keep her safe. That's all I ask."

"No one will lay a finger on her," Octavia replied.

Clarke let out her breath in relief and Octavia cocked her head sideways. It was so unlike Clarke to be so worried. She was usually so bold and tough.

"Thank you."

Octavia got up and followed Lincoln thinking over the change in her leader. She was acting out of character that was for sure. Raven had tried to tell her as much when she'd returned from Arkadia but she had shrugged it off as being about Finn. Seeing them kiss in the library had been a shock but she had assumed it was just sex. Suddenly she wasn't so sure that was all that was happening.

Octavia entered Lincoln and her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"Hey. What do you know about the royal family and this Darius guy?" she asked.

Lincoln turned to her and shrugged.

"Not much. The King and Queen arranged a marriage between him and the princess even though he has no royal blood. He has wealthy friends and likes to drink and gamble to excess It was said that their marriage was not unhappy and that he slept with many other women."

Octavia raised her eyebrows.

"He sounds like a real catch."

"He is much worse than he sounds, "Lincoln continued. "Everyone in Polis has seen him in the taverns around here. I saw him when I visited last. He and his friends were rude and arrogant and thought they could do what they liked. They showed no respect to anyone, especially not the women they were with."

It suddenly began to make sense to Octavia. Clarke, ever the hero. She just had to save people. She had asked Wells to annul the marriage. She had removed Darius from his position. He would believe Clarke stole his wife from him and it would appear she did. From what Lincoln had told her, Clarke had done Lexa a favour.

Wait did she do this for Arkadia or for Lexa? Is she falling for her? Is this why she has been acting so weird?

Lincoln hovered close to Octavia wondering what she was thinking so hard about.

"What did Clarke want?"

"She needs me to keep an eye on Lexa while you're gone. Apparently this Darius guy is dangerous and she wants her kept safe."

Lincoln facial expressions were calm and he showed no sign of surprise. He was very observant by nature even though he tended to remain silent in his observations. She wondered if he had already figured it out.

"Princess Alexandria is the only royal favoured by the people in Polis," he told her. "If the alliance is to continue, Clarke is right to keep her from harm. Wanheda would surely be blamed if anything happened to her."

Octavia raised her head to look up at him. She hadn't considered that.

 _Great_ she thought dryly. _I get to babysit the princess while they get to have all the fun._

It was going to be a long day, she could already tell it was.

 

 

 

 

 


	31. A Familiar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets with Luna and discovers a potential secret while Octavia and Lexa begin to bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago I actually wanted to do philosophy at college (fyi college is free in the UK but you still need to have a job as well if you are poor to support yourself). Not enough people signed up so I was told to do Classics instead. So I did the course by accident and it turned out to be incredibly interesting and I learned about most of the classics mentioned here except Ovid and Sappho. Sappho I learned about from watching Xena.

Luna watched the blonde leader with suspicion. Clarke knew that she had expected someone taller or more intimidating, a ferocious warrior. Instead she offered her a handshake and Luna just stared down at it, unmoving. When she didn't return the gesture she pulled her hand back, the corners of her mouth twitching.

"Wanheda," Luna asked. "Lincoln tells me you need to get into Azgeda. Why should I help you?"

Clarke tried her best to make her case but as soon as she had met Luna she knew that she would be difficult. Her eyes were like steel yet she saw something like compassion behind them.

Her hair was thick, curly and long and she was built like a warrior. She carried no weapons but Clarke knew of her past and that she was a capable fighter. She had been one of the other defectors from Polis' army when Anya had left. Instead of following Anya she had taken just a handful of warriors and refugees who had lost their homes in some of Azgeda's attacks on their villages. Luna had renounced all violence afterwards and created a place for people to go who wanted to escape war.

 _That fire is still inside her though_ Clarke thought as she observed her. _She just refuses to act on it._

"So it's in your best interest too," Clarke explained. "Azgeda wants to expand and I doubt they will leave you alone as Polis does."

Luna barely seemed to blink, her stare intense.

"Why should I trust a warmonger like you? It was you that killed hundreds in your war with Polis?"

Clarke flinched, the memories returning to haunt her. She swallowed and kept her composure.

"That was self-defence. Polis and Arkadia are at peace and we want to keep it that way. Azgeda is the only one who wants war now. Do you really think Nia won't hunt down your refugees after they move on Polis?"

Luna raised her chin. She knew that Clarke was right.

"Very well. We will smuggle you into Azgeda. It will take time to prepare. We will send word."

Clarke smiled, relieved that it was all going to plan.

"But," Luna continued. "We require payment first. Supplies Food and clothing. Azgeda have made it difficult for our people to bring resources back to our camp."

"I can arrange that. Half now and half when I return."

Luna tilted her head in a manner that oddly reminded her of someone. Her eyes too, seemed familiar, not in their colour but in the way she stared and how still she was. Clarke blinked at how eerily familiar some of her body language was.

"Agreed. I will send word when we are ready."

"Thank you," Clarke replied, still trying to figure out who Luna reminded her of.

"Wanheda. Is it true you are staying at Polis in the palace?"

Clarke met her eyes, lifting her chin. Why did it matter to Luna where she was staying? She could easily get someone to find out.

"For the moment, yes."

Something clouded Luna's face, something that seemed a little like concern.

"I haven't been to the palace for some time. Is Princess Alexandria well. I heard her marriage was annulled."

Clarke clenched her jaw that protectivess for Lexa stirring in her gut again. She kept Lexa out of politics. Just hearing her mentioned created a deep rooted fear in her that they would target Lexa to get to her. Was this a threat? No she didn't seem interested in threatening Clarke and she had no motive to do so.

_Then why-_

It occured to Clarke all at once, the realisation dawning on her. Her body language, her deep, large eyes. How she seemed to stare, barely blinking. The high cheekbones... that stillness.

Luna reminded her of Lexa. Could they be related? No, Lexa was royalty, Luna was a general from a low born family. Unless the King had an affair and kept it secret. Royal bastards were not uncommon and were often concealed from the public.

"She's well," Clarke said carefully. "She was glad to be free of him."

Luna said little in reply but Clarke saw something burning behind her silence. Something unfulfilled. She had likely never even met Lexa. The King and Queen would have warned her to never speak of it and Clarke had a feeling that no one had even told Lexa she existed. Still Clarke had no proof, just a hunch. She would have to find out more before she told Lexa.

 

  
"Why do you like reading so much? You're as bad as Clarke." 

Lexa looked up from her page at Octavia. The smaller warrior was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed, wearing a bored expression. She had been with her all morning at Clarke's request and Lexa didn't quite know how to talk to her.

"I just enjoy it," Lexa muttered. "It's fascinating."

"Did you read Clarke's work? Everyone says they're great books but I've only ever read the classics."

Lexa raised her eyebrow.

"Which classics do you like? Homer? Catullus? Euripides?"

Lexa omitted the word Sappho from her list although it had been on her mind.

"Ovid. Bellamy prefers Homer. Mother used to read them to us a kids. They were the only books we could afford."

The princess' lips twitched as she absorbed the knowledge. She knew that many of Clarke's people had been poor but the one thing she had always had was books. It had been Lexa's lifeline.

She rose from her seat and walked over to the shelves selecting Metamorphoses, Ars Amatoria and The Iliad and The Odyssey. She placed the pile of books on the table and gestured to them as she sat back down.

"Here. You can have them."

Octavia seemed wary, as if she wasn't sure what Lexa's motive was. Lexa nodded and lowered her eyelids to indicate that she meant it.

"I can't take them," Octavia said uncrossing her arms and moving closer to the table as of she desperately wanted them.

"They're a gift for today, to thank you for staying to protect me."

Octavia smiled at the gesture as she realised that Lexa had no motive beyond sheer kindness. Octavia ran her fingers over the familiar lettering on the covers and sat down at the table.

"Thanks, " Octavia said in a low voice.

Lexa didn't reply, a little too shy to say any more but she was pleased as Octavia opened one of the books and began to read.   
She had been nervous just to offer the books in case Octavia didn't want her to pity her. Clarke had told her that many poorer people were proud about accepting gifts seeing it as charity.

They'd had many conversations about Clarke's childhood and the poverty she had witnessed. Lexa had learned a great deal from Clarke about the world she had been sheltered from seeing. Clarke always opened her eyes to the truth rather than concealing it from her. For that she was grateful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Just a Few Seconds Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke opts to tell Lexa what she knows and Raven and Anya return to Polis. Minor smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Ai Hod Yu In - I love you  
> Sankru - Desert Clan/people

When Clarke returned she thought more about telling Lexa about Luna. She had thought it best to find out the truth first but as she returned to Polis she realised that she couldn't bring herself to hide it from Lexa. The one thing they always has was that they were honest with each other and Clarke valued that more than anything.

 _I can't do to her what everyone else has done to her_ she thought. _She has a right to know._

When Clarke entered the palace she immediately headed towards the library, guessing Lexa would likely be there. When she arrived she stopped still and blinked twice at the sight in front of her. Octavia and Lexa were both seated side by side, Octavia leaning in to see the page. It was Clarke's book and she was showing Octavia the artwork.

"Wow I didn't know she was this good at drawing."

"She's very talented," Lexa agreed. "Her art is beautiful."

As if somehow aware of Clarke's longing gaze upon her, Lexa lifted her head and stared straight into her eyes, a smile appearing on her lips. Octavia looked up to and when she saw Clarke she greeted her.

"Hey Clarke we were just talking about you."

Clarke was transfixed to the spot, unable to tear her eyes from the vision that was Lexa. She swallowed trying to regain her composure but she was so far gone that she couldn't even think clearly.

"Clarke. Is everything okay?"

I have to be honest with her.

"Octavia. Can I speak to the Princess alone for a minute?"

Octavia hopped out of her seat picking up the books she had been gifted.

"Sure. See you Lexa. Thanks for the gift."

"You are welcome Octavia and thank you for protecting me for the day."

Clarke raised an eyebrow at the exchange. Octavia almost never liked royals. She was surprised she was being so cordial. Octavia closed the door behind her and Clarke took in a deep breath aware of Lexa's eyes upon her wondering what was wrong.

"So I met Luna today," Clarke started, seating herself next to Lexa. "Have you ever met her?"

"No. I have heard talk of her and seen her at formal events but I don't know her at all."

Clarke put one arm around Lexa's chair.

"When I met her, I had this thought that she reminded me of someone. I don't have any proof and I might be wrong but she- well... she-"

This was harder than Clarke had thought it would be.

"Who did she remind you of Clarke?"

Clarke reached out to take Lexa's hand across the table.

"You Lexa. She reminded me of you."

Lexa's eyes widened.

"What are you saying?"

"I think you know," Clarke said in a low voice.

"You think my father had an affair?"

Clarke lowered her eyes.

"It's not that uncommon. Many Kings have illegitimate children. They may have told her to keep her distance from you."

Lexa leaned in closer to Clarke as if for reassurance.

"Are you saying that she could be my half-sister?"

Clarke nodded.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Lexa turned away and took a deep breath.

"I didn't want to keep this from you," Clarke continued. "What happens now is up to you? I can find out the truth or we can say nothing more about it."

The princess turned back, her eyes clouded. She wore a painful, vulnerable expression as she looked at Clarke.

"Will you do that for me? Find out the truth?"

Clarke entwined their fingers.

"Of course I will. I love you. You know that."

Lexa smiled at her words, her eyelids half-closed as her gaze dropped to Clarke's lips.

" _Ai hod yu in_ ," she whispered back.

Clarke's eyelashes fluttered, her heart full of love for this wonderful woman.

"So what do you want? It's your decision."

Lexa nodded slowly and Clarke understood that she wanted to know the truth.

"Thank you for not hiding this from me."

Clarke played with her fingers absent-mindedly.

"I'll never lie to you Lexa. Never."

Lexa gazed into those blue oceans staring back at her and knew that she meant it. She inhaled, her heat skipping a beat as Clarke played with her fingers without thinking. She still sometimes wondered how this had happened between them. They had been complete strangers just over a year before.   
It was that one night. The night the had met. Something had drawn them together and they had been falling ever since.

"I know," was all she replied.

Clarke leaned her head on her shoulder and stayed there for sometime. Lexa didn't move her content to let her rest there.

After a time Clarke shuffled and Lexa felt a kiss on her collarbone. Then another on her neck. Then under her jaw. She grinned knowing what it meant but said nothing as Clarke's lips moved back down leaving a damp trail on her skin. Lexa put a hand behind her and rested it in Clarke's hair to keep her there, tilting her head back as the blonde moved lower and began to kiss the top of her covered breasts tugging the fabric down to reveal them further.

Lexa let out a soft moan, tilting her head further and closing her eyes as Clarke kissed downwards. Clarke was about close her mouth over her brown nipple-

The door opened and the pair shot apart, Lexa covering herself immediately. It was Raven helping a still injured Anya. They thankfully hadn't seen the exchange before the door had opened.

Raven charged in, her arm around Anya's waist.

"There you are see. Lexa is fine. I told you Clarke wouldn't let anything happen to her."

Lexa's breathing was uneven, her body already charged with desire. Anya and Raven seated themselves across from the pair, the brunette helping her girlfriend into the chair.

Lexa glanced at Clarke who wore a little smirk that she was trying to hide as if it amused her what she did to her. Raven and Anya didn't seem to notice anything amiss and Lexa wiped her neck removing the evidence of their makeout session. She fiddled with her dress to make sure it was presentable again her heart still pounding.

She met Clarke's eyes and they shared a glance. If it had been a few seconds later Raven and Anya would have caught them in a much more compromising position.

Despite herself, Lexa smiled. It was thrilling to say the least being with Clarke.

"Are you even listening Lexa?"

Lexa turned quickly, caught out in her distraction. Anya had been talking about Azgeda and their plans to try for a political marriage.

"Anya thinks she'll try to match Wells and Ontari," Raven added.

"It would unite Polis and Azgeda but the people would never accept it," said Anya.

"Neither would Wells," Clarke added. "I'm pretty sure he already has a marriage in mind. He was quite taken with one of the Princesses from _Sankru_ and she seemed very interested in him."

Anya stared at her.

"Are you sure because a political marriage between Azgeda and Polis would be a disaster. Nia would only use it to her advantage."

"I'm sure," Clarke replied. "Wells will never agree."

Anya nodded slowly but something else seemed to concern her. Her eyes flickered to Lexa.

"What?" Clarke asked.

"She has a son. Prince Roan. I heard the King and Queen suggest it would be a suitable match for Lexa."

Clarke could not describe the fury that she felt in that moment. Lexa saw her jaw clench and her eyes flashed a brilliant blue. It reminded her of when Darius had put his hands on her and Clarke had defended her. Lexa knew what that look meant. Clarke could be dangerous to those that crossed her.

"They can't marry her to anyone," Clarke said directing her gaze at Lexa to reassure her. "It's in the treaty."

"I know," Anya replied. "But if she is persuaded. Her parents may insist."

Clarke's anger grew at her words. Lexa was right there and Anya was talking about her as if Lexa was still a child.

"She can make her own decisions," Clarke replied, raising and lowering her eyebrows in emphasis. "We'll respect whatever she decides."

Lexa's hand wrapped around Clarke's under the table in acknowledgment. Anya glared at her and Raven seemed to sense that the conversation was riling her.

"We've been on the road all day," she said quickly. "We should really get something to eat and get some rest."

Anya turned to glare at her but did not complain and let Raven's arm wrap around her waist to help her to her feet.

When the door closed behind the pair with a bang, Clarke and Lexa let out the breaths they had been holding.

"I won't let them force you to marry him," Clarke said turning to Lexa.

Lexa nodded silently knowing that Clarke would keep her word but a part of her feared that her family could pressure her. The thought of another marriage to a man brought back awful memories. She tried to blink them away focussing on the feeling of Clarke's hand under her own.

"You're safe," Clarke reassured. "You're safe."

Lexa only stared at her, knowing deep in her heart that there only one person she would ever choose to marry. She wrapped her arms around Clarke and the blonde drew her in protectively, rubbing circles on her back with one hand. Her chin rested on the top of Lexa's head.

"I'll protect you," she repeated. "Always."

Lexa stayed there for some time in Clarke's arms knowing that she could never be with another as long as the blonde was in her life.

 _I would marry you_ she thought to herself. _If it were possible I would marry you in a heartbeat.  
_

 

 

 

 

 


	33. Some Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke takes Lexa out for some fun to take her mind off Anya's words and Clarke learns more about her past. They wake up the morning after to find that things might have gotten a little out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Depicts some heavy drinking and mentions consexual drunken sex. I rarely drink at all now but I do remember how awful hangovers are from my teenage years and some of the stupid things you end up doing. Unfortunately I always woke up with a complete memory of everything that had happened. Once I even wrote myself a note to make sure I didn't forget.

"Do you wanna get out of here Princess?"

Clarke had grinned at Lexa as she hovered in the doorway to her lover's room that night. Always the temptress by nature she leaned against the door frame with one arm wearing a big smile.

She was dressed in a black, leather jacket with short sleeves and her hair was clean and falling down in waves blonde waves over her face.

Lexa had smiled back and taken Clarke's outstretched hand and tugged her into that bedroom. Lexa changed into a black dress that left her shoulders bare and Clarke took observed her, filled with desire as she watched Lexa lean down to pull on some black boots.

"You'll be cold like that," Clarke teased, taking off her jacket. "Here."

She placed it around Lexa and watched as she slipped her arms through the sleeves. Clarke untucked her hair from inside the jacket and brought it around the front, ruffling it with her fingers. Lexa looked sexy and wild. She raised an eyebrow at Clarke who was still playing with her hair before straightening her jacket.

"There. All ready. We just need to put something over your hair to sneak out and we're good to go."

"What about you?" Lexa asked, drinking in the image of Clarke's bare arms. "Won't you get cold?"

Clarke gripped the front of the leather jacket, pulling her closer with a seductive smile.

"I'm sure you'll keep me warm."

Lexa concerned face broke into a wide smile. She was practically beaming. They leaned in and pressed their lips together and then headed out for the night.

After drinking heavily, making out in the back of a very busy tavern and stumbling to a table to talk, Clarke noticed Lexa become pensive.

"What's wrong? Is it about what Anya said?"

"She only intended to help yet she knows about my sexuality. I had thought she understood why I can't be with a man."

Clarke placed a hand on her knee in reassurance.

"You won't be married off to Prince Roan. I'll make sure of that."

Lexa lowered her eyes and turned her to the side to stare into the distance. Clarke knew that look. She was still concerned about her future. Lexa was afraid of history repeating itself and deep down in her heart so was Clarke.

"They will find a way," Lexa said in a quiet voice. "They have always done so."

Clarke rubbed her knee softly.

"They won't. I won't _let_ them."

Lexa met her eyes and then looked away suddenly shy.

"I never had anyone to talk to about it before. I was always alone before I met you."

This was one subject Clarke had wanted to ask Lexa about for a while but hadn't been sure about bringing up. Lexa had mentioned her parents making sure that the handmaidens and servants barely talked to her.

Clarke had noticed herself that they almost avoided Lexa, fulfilling their duties and leaving without a word. Instead Clarke just listened attentively, allowing the princess to tell her in her own time.

"There was a girl once, a handmaid when I was thirteen. She was nice and pretty and she often smiled at me. We were the same age and she would talk to me as she combed my hair. One day she kissed me on the cheek and I wanted to kiss her too. I knew that I shouldn't but I had all these feelings."

Clarke knew where this was going but she allowed her to finish her story.

"My mother saw the whole thing and was furious."

Lexa raised her head, a deep sadness in her voice.

"They sent her away," Lexa told her. "I knew saw her again and they instructed all the handmaids not to interact with me beyond their duties."

Clarke hated the pain she saw in Lexa's eyes, hated how readily she had accepted her fate. Lexa had been alone her whole life, no one on her side. That they had been impossibly cruel to such a naturally kind person was unbelievable. How could anyone hurt her?

"I hate that they treated you the way they did."

Lexa blinked staring off into the distance.

"I was born to a life of duty," she replied. "A princess must only act for the good of the kingdom not for herself."

Clarke knew that those words were not her own. They were from her teachings. Over and over again they had told her that her feelings didn't matter. That it was all about duty.

"No Lexa. What you want matters? You deserve to be happy too."

Lexa met her eyes, those green eyes staring back at her, stirring something deep within her soul.

"Besides, they're not here now so... do you want to drink and dance with a cute blonde until the sun comes up?"

Clarke's humour worked and Lexa's seriousness seemed to disappear as she smiled back at her and nodded. Clarke took her hand and guided her to the dancing area.

A few hours later and they were drunk. Entirely drunk. Lexa seemed unable to keep her hands off Clarke and wrapped herself around the blonde as they kissed furiously.

"I don't want to marry a man again," Lexa murmoured in between kisses. "They're going to make me."

"No they won't."

Clarke was lost in kissing Lexa's sculpted jawline, inhaling the sweet perfume that eminated from her skin. She always smelled divine, the scent of Lexa drove her crazy. It was somewhere between vanilla and rose petals, sweet and subtle. Clarke felt just as drunk on Lexa as she did from the alcohol. She closed her eyes and buried her nose in her neck.

"They will Clarke. I know that you're driven to fix everything but you can't fix this. They will make it happen and you have to accept it."

"Like hell I will," Clarke muttered, still not moving from her favourite new place.  
Clarke lifted her head suddenly.

"Wait. I have an idea."

  
The fearless Wanheda woke up with a blistering hangover a few days after Anya and Raven's return. Lexa groaned beside her, equally suffering. Clarke tried to recall the evening before. She had invited Lexa out to drink and drink they had, heavily. She had been trying to lift Lexa's spirits, thinking some time away from the palace would do her good.

Clarke couldn't remember much more, the night a blur. She vaguely remembered kissing Lexa in the back of a very large tavern. She remembered Lexa talking about her fears that her parents would make her marry Prince Roan and that she would end up in the same situation as before then...

Clarke's eyes shot wide open as the memories flooded back to her. She scrambled around frantically, opening drawers and checking through her jacket pocket.

"Clarke?" Lexa mumbled. "Come back to bed."

The blonde woman found what she was searching for and held the document up to her eyes in horror. What had they done?

"Um Lexa..."

Lexa raised her head sleepily and Clarke passed her the document to read. It was a marriage document signed by them both and witnessed by a man named Marcus Kane. Clarke recognised the name. He was known as someone who would perform marriages in secret for those whose marriages were frowned upon and they were legally binding.

_I certify that Clarke Griffin and Alexandria Woods are henceforth joined in matrimony._

It was dated the previous night.

Lexa shot her head up to stare at Clarke in shock. She was trembling.

"W-we... We..."

Clarke rushed to her side, seeing that she was overwhelmed and embraced her.

"It'll be alright. We'll sort this out. I'll fix it."

Lexa shifted against her and gave her a muffled reply. She spoke so quietly that Clarke could barelt out make she was saying.

"What?"

The princess lifted her head, her gaze flickering between Clarke's lips and eyes.

"I don't want you to."

Clarke understood what she was saying.

"Are you sure? Because if we thought sleeping together was a scandal..."

"I'm only want you," Lexa said very softly.

Clarke nodded and hugged her tighter and let out a sigh.

"And I only want you. Fine, we'll let it stand. I'll conceal the records and hide this."

She glanced down at the document. She hadn't planned for it but somehow it felt right. It all felt right. Lexa stayed in her arms and Clarke could not help herself from thinking the words as she held her.

_My wife. She's my wife._

It was then that Clarke noticed the tattoo on her left wrist. It was an infinity symbol. She must have done it to mark the marriage instead of rings. It wasn't unheard of but was a rarer than exchanging rings. She reached for Lexa's left wrist and checked it but found no mark. When she reached her right wrist she found the very same symbol there decorating her skin.

Lexa gave a small yelp at the sight of it and Clarke placed her own wrist side by side with Lexa's to compare the two infinity symbols.

They were identical and inside the loops the letters W and H where marked, one letter in each loop. _Wanheda_ and _Heda_. Clarke traced her fingertips over Lexa's wrist. Her skin was smooth and the dark ink decorated it as if it was meant to be there. Lexa caressed Clarke's tattoo with similar fascination and when their eyes met they didn't need to voice what they were feeling.

This was something special between them, something secret that they would share  forever and neither of them were unhappy about it.

They attended breakfast that morning without a word to the others of what had happened.

"You're quiet this morning," Raven asked, noticing how fatigued they both appeared.

Clarke didn't even hear her. She was preoccupied with memories of the previous night. Kane's secret chapel, Lexa holding a delicate bouquet of flowers, her hair pulled around the side of her neck to fall down her dress luxuriously. They hadn't even changed their clothes but Lexa had been stunning. They had kissed in front of Kane and been pronounced married.

From the love bites she had found on her body and observed on Lexa's as they had dressed, they had definitely had sex afterwards so the marriage was certainly consumated.

"Clarke!"

Raven's shout snapped her out of it.

"What?"

"You were miles away and where the hell where you last night? I swung by your room last night and you weren't there."

Clarke shook her head, bringing her focus back to where she was.

"I needed to get away for a night, clear my head. I might've drank a bit more than usual."

"A _bit_. You look like hell. Must've been _some_ night."

Clarke nodded with a weak smile, trying to avoid the desire to glance at Lexa.

_Some night. You can say that again._

What had they done?

 


	34. Turning Up the Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk about their new situation. Anya decides to apologise for her words and the newlyweds have some fun in the royal baths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets steamy. Includes smut. 
> 
> Trigedasleng Translation
> 
> Jok - Fuck

"So here's the plan," Clarke suggested when only her and Lexa remained at the breakfast table. "We tell no one. We leave things as they are. I go to Azgeda as soon as Luna sends word and if all is safe I head back to Arkadia inviting you and Aden to visit in a couple of weeks. We'll figure out the rest from there. Sound good?"

Lexa lowered her head shyly and Clarke leaned in closer to her.

"I know this was unexpected but we can make it work."

The princess nodded, not sure how to handle the strange tingle she felt at the knowledge they were married. Clarke was her wife. Even if they wanted to they could not make her marry another. The treaty stated that she could choose and she had. It gave her a strange sense of security knowing that no amount of pressure from her parents could undo this.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked. "We drank a lot. Do you remember anything?"

Lexa had remembered everything from the moment she had seen the certificate. Clarke had taken more time it seemed. As those azure eyes gazed into her own she recalled seeing them the night before as she and Clarke had stood in front of Marcus Kane and vowed to love each other for the rest of their lives. Clarke had worn her leather jacket and bought her a bouquet to hold as was tradition in Polis.

When Clarke had kissed her, it was tender and loving, a promise to keep her safe and to always be true. Lexa had thought in that moment how lucky she was and that she too would never betray her, no matter what happened. If being together meant learning to live between Arkadia and Polis, Lexa would take it. This was all the future she needed.

"I remember," Lexa whispered. "Do you?"

"Yes," Clarke admitted. "It was- it was special."

Lexa smiled and slipped her right hand in Clarke's left one on the table, their matching tattoos pressing together. Clarke leaned down and kissed the back of Lexa's hand, letting her lips linger there.

"I promise to honour, protect and love you for as long we both shall live. To take you as my equal and always be true."

The words were unique to Kane's secret wedding service but Lexa's mouth hung open as she heard them again. She closed her mouth and tilted her head, gazing at Clarke with absolute longing.

"I promise to honour, protect and love you for as long we both shall live. To take you as my equal and always be true."

Clarke smiled so much that Lexa could see her teeth and that cheeky tongue of hers sticking out for a second. She leaned in and pulled Lexa's lower lip into her mouth, darting that playful tongue over it as they kissed. Neither of them wanted to stop but the others could walk in at any time and they separated reluctantly.

"I really need to go and get a bath," Clarke said reluctantly.

"So do I," Lexa replied. "I asked my handmaidens to prepare one for after breakfast."

Lexa saw a mischievous twinkle appear in those blue eyes as she spoke. Clarke leaned in even closer to whisper in her ear.

"Mind if I join you princess? Could be fun."

Her eyes widened suddenly as she realised something.

"Oh. You're a prince by law now or princess. I'm not sure what the correct term would be. No princess has ever married a woman before. It has never been allowed."

"You can choose," Clarke replied in a low, husky voice. "You can call me whatever you like."

Lexa beamed, unable to remove the near permanant smile she seemed to wear whever Clarke was around. The blonde ran one finger along her shoulders, tracing the curve all the way up to her neck. Lexa shuddered with arousal. How did Clarke always do this to her with just a few words and a simple touch.

"So what about that bath?" Clarke teased in an even deeper tone.

Something about that tone, that rasp in her voice sent shivers through her entire body. Clarke's voice always had a slight husk to it but when it was at it's sexiest when it she was whispering in Lexa's ear.

"I-I think it's a good idea. It's important for royalty to maintain good hygeine and be presentable."

Clarke chuckled as if the thought of her being royalty was absurd and guided her wife out of the room to the royal baths.

  
"Where's Clarke?" Anya asked, walking into Raven's workshop.

Octavia and Lincoln both shrugged while Raven barely looked up from her spanner. She was covered in some sort of black grease and sweating with exertion. Anya wondered whatever she was building now. She was always doing something and frequently returned to bed covered in the oil.

Anya often complained but in truth she found Raven's grimy appearance incredibly attractive, the vest and overalls showing off her toned arms. The brunette was incredibly hot. Anya had thought so since the first time she had seen her.

"Probably sleeping off her hangover or having a wash. Why? Are you actually going to listen to me for once and apologise to her for what you said to Lexa."

Anya grumbled.

"It was only a suggestion. I was only thinking of her future security."

"And I told you that you need to explain that to people and that they can't read your mind."

"What did she say?" Octavia asked.

"My badass warrior woman only told Lexa that she should marry someone else right in front of her girlfriend."

Octavia frantically motioned to Raven to stop talking but it was too late.

"Clarke is Lexa's girlfriend?" Lincoln asked.

A guilty expression appeared on Raven's face when she realised what she had done.

"I thought you would have told him," Raven said in embarrassment.

Octavia shook her head.

"Not my secret to tell but he won't say anything to anyone."

Raven eyed them both feeling foolish. She had kept it to herself for so long and then slipped up completely.

"I'll explain it to you later," Octavia told Lincoln. "Just don't say anything."

"I won't," he replied.

Raven's eyes darted to Anya who seemed uncharacteristically distracted by her own thoughts.

"Just say sorry okay. She'll warn you not to do it again and then let it go. Clarke was just being protective too."

Anya didn't reply but Raven knew that she was listening. Anya wasn't big on conversations or admitting she was wrong but deep down she did care a great deal. Lexa was the closest thing Anya had to a friend even if their conversation seemed to be minimal.

  
"Not to brag but this was a really great idea," Clarke muttered, caressing the back of Lexa's neck..

Lexa's reply was inaudible as her mouth was otherwise occupied with Clarke's right breast. They were naked in the large, luxorious marble bath. Raven had somehow upgraded the room so that it had running hot water and the bath was the largest Clarke had ever seen, a large square shape in the centre of the room. It was full of steam and was a massive upgrade from washing in a small metal tub of water.

Raven was undoubtedly a genius but in that moment she was the furthest from Clarke's mind that she could be as Lexa and her were naked in the bath, surrounded by rose petals and sweet-smelling fragrances with the blonde's legs wrapped around Lexa's lower body.

That mouth, those lips. They were working wonders on Clarke's full breasts, Lexa sucking on her erect pink nipples, moaning as she did. Clarke caressed Lexa's hair, stroking the back of her head softly to encourage her, her fingers entangled in the silky, chestnut waves.

Clarke closed her eyes, enjoying her wife's magical mouth and its incredible ministrations.

"Open the damn door. I don't care if she's indecent. I need to speak to her."

It was Anya's voice, arguing with one of the handmaidens who was outside. Lexa lifted her head in alarm and Clarke immediately turned her back to her to shield her.

"Quick. Duck down behind me."

Clarke grabbed a towel and held it in front of her as the door unlocked and opened.   
Lexa hid behind her, her head tucked low into Clarke's back, just above the water. Her heart was pounding and she held her breath without thinking.

"Anya. I'm kind of busy right now."

Clarke held towel in front of them but Lexa feared Anya would see her.

"I came to apologise. I couldn't wait. I was out of line when I suggested marrying Lexa to Prince Roan."

Lexa's heartbeat was so loud she was sure Anya would hear it but she kept her head down and remaining motionless.

"Why are you apologising to me? It's Lexa you should say sorry to."

Anya shrugged nonchalantly.

"You seemed mad. I'll apologise to Lexa when I find her. So anyway sorry."

"It's fine," Clarke said a little too quickly, Lexa's rapid breaths tickling her lower back. "It's forgotten."

Anya frowned at her. She had expected more of a lecture from Clarke. The blonde squealed suddenly as Lexa's hand slipped between her legs from the back, letting out a yelp before composing herself.

"Are you okay?"

Clarke could feel silently giggling against her lower back.

"Yes. I er- thought I thought something brushed past my in the water. Must've been a rose petal or something."

Anya's eyes narrowed further but she didn't pursue it.

"Fine. Whatever. It's done."

The warrior woman turned and exited the room and Clarke strained to listen. When she heard the familiar sound of the door being locked from the other side she let out her breath and turned.

"Lexa!"

Clarke flicked the water with her hand, splashing the princess as she rose back up with laughter.

"Think you're funny do you?"

Lexa wore a broad smile, very pleased with prank and Clarke flashed her a grin and surged forward

"Come here."

Lexa squealed as Clarke chased her and swept her into her arms, the water splashing around them. Clarke kissed in victory and wrapped her arms around Lexa's lower back, bringing their bodies together.

It became heated almost immediately and Clarke kept moving forward until Lexa's back hit the edge of the bath and she could retreat no more. Clarke pulled up Lexa's legs to wrap around her own and interlocked them so they could rub up against each other. The blonde moved her hips up and down against her body, one hand resting on Lexa's back to protect it from the marble edge of the bath.

Lexa moved in unison, Clarke's body pinned against her own as they both found friction in each other and moaned and groaned.

" _Jok_ ," Lexa moaned, unable to find the words to articulate the intensity of the orgasm building at her core.

"Lexa," Clarke rasped, her eyes tightly closed as her head buried itself in her shoulder.

Lexa's heart was pounding, her climax nearing as she felt Clarke's naked body moving with her own. It was heaven, the feeling of their genitals rubbing over each other, their bodies open to each other as they swelled with arousal.

Lexa broke first, crying out as she came against her lover. Clarke was still moving helplessly but she felt her steadying arms holding her as her body screamed in ecstacy. It seemed to last forever, drawing out for what was mere seconds but felt like an eternity of bliss. She held onto the high, held onto the beautiful agony of absolute fulfillment. She was still twitching when she heard Clarke vulnerable, high-pitched cry that meant she was very near. Her feminine cry became louder and she almost whined as she came, shuddering against Lexa as they cried in unison.

Clarke slowed down and stopped her movements against Lexa's body. She rested her head against Lexa's, cheek to cheek and they both panted as they regained their breath. Neither of them said a word, their bodies still entwined as their hearts beated rapidly. They were so close it was like one heartbeat. One powerful heartbeat connecting as if them both through some magical force. Clarke's left hand reached for Lexa's right to bring their tattooed wrists together to show her how she felt. Neither of them spoke. They didn't need to. No words were powerful enough to describe what they shared.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	35. Missing Your Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa misses Clarke when she travels to Azgeda. Raven tries to convince Anya that their secret relationship is more serious than she realises and an unexpected visitor arrives at Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your comments. A lot of you seemed to like the marriage twist and I'm really pleased. It was a very fun chapter to write as was the one in the baths. Hope you are enjoying the story so far. 
> 
> Trigedasleng Translation
> 
> Ogeda - Together/All together

"I shouldn't be too long. I wouldn't leave you but-"

Lexa blinked and placed a hand over Clarke's.

"I know. You need to do this. For your people."

"Our people," Clarke corrected. "Technically our kingdoms are united by marriage now."

"I'll be back before you know it. I should only be gone a few days and Octavia will protect you."

Lexa smiled but it was a weak smile. She badly didn't want Clarke to leave but she knew that the world outside needed Wanheda.

"I love you," Clarke reminded.

"I love you too."

Clarke leaned forward and kissed her forehead, brushing back Lexa's hair with tenderness.

"Stay safe. If there's anything, anything at all, send word to Luna and she'll contact me okay?"

Clarke reached for Lexa's lower arm grasping the inside of it. Lexa's fingers entwined over her arm in response. This had become their way of saying goodbye and promising to return.

"May we meet again," Lexa said, giving Clarke an earnest look.

The blonde's lip faltered and she tugged Lexa forward and brought her into her arms, her hand resting on the back of her head.

"I really don't want to leave you," Clarke whispered.

"And I don't want you to go but I know you will return."

Clarke pulled back and they drew towards each other and kissed.

When Clarke's hand slipped out of Lexa's reach as they parted, they both felt the absence.

What's wrong with me? Clarke thought. It's only for a few days and Octavia is with her.

She pushed the feeling away and left to meet Luna and Lincoln, unable to stop herself from glancing back at Lexa one more time and stare into those forest green eyes for a second more.

For our people she thought. For you Lexa.

  
"Do you see this? This is what I was talking about?"

Raven gestured to Lexa sitting alone in the library. She was pretending to read but she didn't seem to be focussing on her book and had been moping around since Clarke left for Azgeda a few days earlier.

Anya glanced at the princess sitting, staring at nothing. She was wearing a leather jacket, not her usual style of clothing and had a long sleeved dark top underneath it. Lexa was not easily cold and the temperature was too mild for her to need to cover up. Octavia slouched on a luxurious couch on her back as she guarded Lexa.

"She's moping. She's miserable. This is what Clarke was like last year. I'm telling you it's serious."

Anya scoffed at the thought. Lexa would not be so foolish. Octavia had only rolled her eyes when Raven had suggested it. As usual the genius brunette was the only one who could see what was happening between them. Octavia and Anya seemed convinced it was just a bit of fun between them.

"I was right before wasn't I?" Raven demanded. "Trust me on this. That isn't someone who's fuck buddy has left for a few days. That's a lovesick puppy right there."

Anya blinked in surprise at the words.

"Fuck buddy? Where do you keep coming up with these ideas?"

"I'm a genius babe remember? I'm going to talk to her. This is ridiculous."

Anya gripped Raven's arm before she could move. She was gentle but firm.

"It's not our business. Leave well alone."

Raven stared into her eyes as if to meet her challenge. After a few seconds she caved and turned away.

"Fine. I'll leave your precious princess alone. But you might want to try and cheer her up. Octavia is almost asleep on that sofa from sheer boredom and Lexa hasn't said a word all morning."

Anya frowned at her and glanced back at Lexa. Maybe Raven was right. She did seem off.

  
"Clarke, we're supposed to be heading back soon. We got the intel. We'll get caught."

"Wait."

Lincoln scanned the door behind them as Clarke rummaged through the drawers in Nia's royal chambers. The letter caught her attention. She read the words and her eyes widened and she stuffed it in her pocket.

"Okay, let's go."

They turned and suddenly the door began to open. Lincoln and Clarke dove behind the desk remaining absolutely still.

"Foolish boy. I told you to your to marry Lexa not run away and play hero and you even failed at that."

"Echo didn't want to come back. She no longer trusts you after you spied on her boyfriend."

"Bellamy Blake," she heard Nia say.

She said his name as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.

"She's a traitor to Azgeda. If she returns she will be tried for treason and executed."

So that's where he's been getting his intel Clarke thought. Echo was working as a double agent inside Azgeda. She knew of Bellamy's relationship with her but he had omitted to tell Clarke that she had had betrayed her own people.

They argued, Nia expressing nothing but disappointment for Prince Roan. Clarke almost felt sorry for him. He seemed to just take the abuse as if he was used to it.

"Never mind Echo. We'll deal with her later. I wan't you to focus on Alexandria Woods. Pursue her. Have you made known your interest to marry her?"

"Yes. I brought it up with her parents in TonDC. They seemed pleased with the arrangement."

He couldn't have sounded less enthusiastic. When he leaned back, Clarke caught face reflecting in the dressing mirror back at her. She ducked her head lower. He hadn't seen her but she had seen him.

He had long dark hair and a cat-like way about him. She could tell that he could handle himself in a fight but she was sure she could take him if necessary. Clarke clenched her fist. Prince or not, she would let him nowhere near Lexa.

  
Lexa threw herself back on her bed with a sigh, holding her book to her chest. She had been so used to being alone but after Clarke she found she missed the blonde's company, missed her laughter and her smile and her teasing. She missed the warmth of cuddling up next to her in bed.

"It has only been a few days," she muttered to herself. "She has work to do."

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Octavia pushed open the door awkwardly. She had followed Lexa around all day and was on guard duty for the night. She had slept lightly in the library for hours but seemed to awaken at the slightest noise ready for action.

"I was just-"

Lexa sat up and clutched her book nervously. What had Octavia heard?

"It's fine," Octavia replied in a low voice. "I heard talking and just wanted to check. I'll be outside if you need me."

The princess was flustered with embarrassment as Octavia closed the door and she groaned and lay back down on her bed. She rolled over to Clarke's side and inhaled the remnants of her scent that lingered on the pillow. She curled up against the pillow with a sigh and held onto it.

  
Clarke returned very late that evening. She had travelled all through the night to get back as soon as possible having found the information she was looking for. When she entered the room she was exhausted and went to her side of the bed without thinking. When she turned around she found Lexa curled up hugging her pillow.

She smiled at the sight and ran a hand through Lexa's hair. She had sent Octavia to get some rest and locked the door so she undressed quietly and climbed into the other side of the bed, shifting so that the front of her body was against the back of Lexa's. She slipped an arm around the sleeping princess' waist and settled down beside her.

They were awoken from their bliss by loud knocking and a familiar irate voice.

"Alexandria! Unlock this door at once. We have guests and you've neglected your formal duty. If you do not unlock it this instance, I will have someone open it for me."

Clarke got to her feet in a panic and gather her clothes in her arms. Both women searched around the room frantically for somewhere for to hide and Clarke gestured to the grand wardrobe. Lexa bundled her inside and shut the door behind her.

She rushed forward and unlocked the door to find her mother standing there with the King and Prince Roan by her side. She was absolutely livid, to anyone else appearing calm but to Lexa the tell-tale twitch of her lips let her know that she was furious.

"Mother. You have returned from TonDC," Lexa said, trying to sound as if her lover was not currently hiding in the wardrobe.

Her mother's lip twitched again as she restrained her fury. Had Prince Roan not been there she would undoubtedly be yelling at Lexa.

"Forgive my daughter Prince Roan, she must be unwell to forget her manners as such."

Lexa felt as thought she had forgotten everything she was ever taught about etiquette in that moment.

"Prince Roan," Lexa said with a polite bow.

"Princess Alexandria you are as beautiful as they say. I would have love to have asked you to dance in TonDC but I had a prior engagement. I see that I may had made the wrong choice in denying myself the chance to observe your beauty for myself."

He was flirting but Lexa was internally recoiling in horror. What was happening? Did they really believe that she was going to go through with this? She didn't want this man.

Her mother took charge, as always concerned with keeping up appearances at all times.

"Esteemed prince. Alexandria is delighted with your charm. She is just shy. We will escort you to the dining area and the princess will be along soon."

Her mother's eyes bore into her as she emphasised the word soon. There was a warning in them.

"I look forward to it."

Prince Roan smiled and bowed reaching for her as if he meant to take her hand and bring it to her lips. She hid her hand behind her back to avoid his touch and he withdrew as if realising that he had overstepped. Lexa said nothing in reply, her heart pounding as they walked away.

When they were gone she closed the door and locked it again, letting out her breath, her back against the door. She rushed to the wardrobe and helped Clarke climb out. Clarke seemed more disgruntled than usual, a haughty glare marking her normally cheerful features.

Before Lexa could even speak to ask her what was wrong, Clarke began to vent in fury.

"The nerve, bringing him to your room. If he thinks he's going to lay those slimy lips anywhere on you, he better think again."

Lexa watched her puzzled at her reaction then realised that she was angry because she was jealous.

"Clarke," she repeated in a low tone. "You have nothing to be jealous about."

The blonde nodded, calming a little

"I know. I just don't like the idea of him sleazing around you. It's always your choice as I've said before but when I heard him trying to flirt with you I just!"

Clarke stopped when she saw Lexa's worried expression.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Lexa's lip was trembling and Clarke knew that she was afraid of it happening to her again. She took Lexa's hand and raised it so that her tattoed wrist was in front of her.

"This protects you from being married again. If it comes to that we will tell the truth and I'll protect you. Either way it won't happen okay?"

The princess nodded, her eyes flickering up to Clarke's and then lowering again. Clarke wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back in reassurance.

"You're not alone this time. We'll get through this together."

"Ogeda," Lexa repeated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	36. An Unwelcome Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Roan is invited to dinner and things get heated when an unwelcome guest turns up. Clarke shocks her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some mild violence in this chapter and mention of domestic abuse so please take care if this is an issue for you.

Clarke glared intensely at Prince Roan as they sat eating breakfast with the King and Queen. She was seated beside Lexa trying to ignore his repeated attempts to flirt with the princess. She kept herself calm for Lexa's sake but everytime he spoke, the desire to punch him grew stronger.

"So Roan," Clarke asked, deliberately omitting his title. "How is your mother?"

His eyes flickered to hers. She had seen how difficult a relationship they had for herself. His confident smile faded at the mention of her.

"She is well."

"Even after the defeat? I thought she'd be licking her wounds after such a crushing failure."

The Queen was visibly agitated and was about to admonish her. Clarke shot her a warning look and she huffed and turned away her head.

Clarke knew that Prince Roan had been leading some of the forces himself and had been the first to call for a retreat. It had actually been wise of him to do so and had saved Nia's army from losing a lot more soldiers but she knew his mother would not have thought so. In Azgeda they whispered about him calling it cowardice. His reputation had taken a serious hit from the loss.

"She's a survivor like me," he replied. "Many have tried and failed to get rid of us."

 _They didn't try hard enough_ Clarke thought bitterly.

"Hmmm, if you say so."

The Prince raised his eyebrows.

"I guess you would know more about death than me _Wanheda_."

Clarke tensed and glowered at him, jutting her chin out.

"I guess I would."

There was a warning in her tone but with Lexa beside her she kept her temper. Her first priority was protecting her. She could see how uncomfortable she was.

"Clarke only acted out of necessity," Lexa added quietly. "She saved her people. She is a hero."

Clarke smiled at her but his words still stung. If not for Lexa she might have began to relive the events but she had found the princess' need to defend her kind of adorable.

The door opened suddenly and Octavia, Raven and Anya appeared to join the breakfast table, Lincoln having gone to tell Luna the supplies were on their way.

Clarke glanced at them for a second as they entered and took their seats.

"Morning Clarke. Lexa," Octavia said in greeting.

"Hey Griff. Hey Lexa," Raven said with a grin. "Who's this guy?" 

The Queen turned to the Prince.

"You must forgive their rough manners," she said in faux politeness. "They are associates of Wanheda and have no knowledge of proper etiquette."

Though her tone was polite her words were sharp and Raven and Octavia both looked offended. They turned to Clarke but she shook her head giving them the signal to leave it for now.

"The more the merrier," Prince Roan said jovially.

Suddenly the door closed and then opened again and she looked up again in surprise. Who else could be invited? She knew it couldn't be Wells. He always ate alone.

When she saw who it was she tensed immediately. Darius stood in the doorway with an arrogant smirk on his face.

"Darius. You've arrived," the Queen said coolly. "Prince Roan this is our guest, the former Prince, Darius. He wants to wish you good fortune in this match."

The mood in the room immediately changed. Clarke glanced at Lexa. She was as still as a statue and avoided Darius' eyes. She placed her hand on her wife's upper thigh under the table, all the while giving Darius a death glare as if staring at him hard enough could make him spontaneously combust. She kept her eyes on his every movement as he seated himself beside Prince Roan at the opposite side of the table.

"So you are to wed the princess?" Darius eyed Lexa as he spoke. "Take my advice and keep firm control over this one. She is highly _disobedient_ but manageable. I had to constantly remind her not to speak back to me."

He emphasised his words as he spoke, obviously intending to imtimidate Lexa. Clarke lightly caressed her thigh to remind her that she would not let him hurt her again but the fury burned inside her like a furnace.

Most of the others had fallen silent at his words and even Prince Roan seemed taken aback by his attitude. Octavia and Raven both glared at him in annoyance, while Anya narrowed her eyes at him, clutching her knife as if she wished to murder him.

Clarke just gripped her fork tightly with her left hand, closing her eyes for a second in sheer fury. She could kill him. She was going to kill him. No she had to keep it together. She had seen the terror cross Lexa's face when Darius had entered the room. Just the sound of his voice put her on edge. It angered her more than anything in the world and she was so close to losing her temper.

"I hear you've been in TonDC Darius and then Azgeda was it?" she asked through gritted teeth.

She opened her eyes and smirked suddenly.

"You know there was a wild rumour that you had built up some gambling debts and that a friend had to help you escape TonDC because they came to collect."

Clarke shifted her eyes to the Queen knowing full well that she had been the one who had helped him disappear to Azgeda. Murphy had found him and reported back to her while Clarke was there. She'd even spoken to Emori, who had found out that his gambling debts were dangerously high now and that some very serious people wanted their money.

Darius' mouth flickered almost into a snarl. He observed her with sheer hatred.

"Foolish rumours from foolish people. You know how people like to interfere in other people's business, especially deviant minded women who don't know their _place_."

Octavia and Raven both jerked their heads at the clear insult but Clarke shot them both a look to say she was handling it.

" _Maybe_ you should worry more about _your_ place in the world. It's never smart to _push_ _your luck_. It might just run out."

Darius wanted to hurt her. Clarke could tell that he hated her more than anyone in the world but she wouldn't let him intimidate Lexa. She wouldn't let him insult her and degrade her in such a way. They stared at each other in a silent standoff for what seemed ages.

"Princess Alexandria," Roan said, breaking the silence and trying to change the subject. "I would like to spend some time with you this afternoon if that is possible and discuss the possibility of engagement."

"I'm afraid I'm too busy," she replied, softly. "I cannot spare the time."

Clarke's hand still rested on her knee providing her with more courage than usual.

"She will find the time," the Queen advised him.

Lexa lowered her eyes and Clarke saw her faltering.

"She is helping me with next book. She is an avid reader with great insights."

Roan glanced between them as if he had suddenly realised something and put down his fork slowly.

"Have I misread the situation?" he asked in a low voice. "Princess are you really interested in a marriage between our lands? Because you don't seem thrilled."

"Of course she-" the Queen started.

"I want to hear it from _her_ ," he replied.

Clarke saw that was Lexa overwhelmed by his words but the princess managed to shake her head, barely able to speak and the Prince got to his feet, placing his napkin on the table.

"It appears that I have been misled about your feelings on this matter. I apologise for the inconvenience Princess Alexandria. I will save you any further embarrassment."

He gave Clarke a sideways glance and she knew that he had likely figured out what was really going on between them, yet she didn't see any malice or judgment behind his eyes. As much as she had been angry at him for his advances she didn't really think he was as bad as Nia and she doubted he would actually say anything without proof.

"Thank you for the invitation your majesty. I will return to room and leave as soon as possible."

He bowed and then left without another word. The Queen was seething. Clarke could see her fury.

"That was astonishingly rude Alexandria. Why would you behave in such a way? You have embarrassed us in front of-"

"How was it rude?" Clarke interrupted. "He asked a question and she answered. You know that the treaty gives her complete control over her future. You shouldn't have invited him in the first place."

"If I had the power," the Queen hissed. "I would evict you from this palace immediately. You encourage her to throw away her only opportunities. This would not happen if she were still with Darius."

"I would never allow it," he growled. "I would teach her some _respect_."

Clarke met the Queen's eyes defiance.

"She can make her own decisions. Her life is not yours. If you ever try this again I will expose all of your secrets. It's only for her sake that I don't."

Clarke suddenly stood up and made her way over to Darius.

"And as for _you,_ get out. _Now_."

Raven and Octavia stared at her in shock. She was arguing with the Queen, insulting the Queen's guest. They knew Clarke could be bold but even they didn't dare behave so rebelliously in front of royalty.

Darius got to his feet and hovered over her trying to intimidate her but she saw fear in his eyes and knew he remembered what had happened the last time he had pushed his luck with her.

"I'm their guest," he said trying to appear unaffected. "You can't give me orders."

Clarke leaned in closer.

"Oh can't I? Do you really want to test that theory?"

"She's mine," he growled. "She will always be mine. You will never change that."

Lexa suddenly found her voice.

"I am not yours," she said, slightly trembling. "I never was."

Darius' eyes widened in fury. She had never truly spoken back to him and it seemed to enrage him beyond a level Clarke had ever seen. He lunged towards her but Clarke punched him full force in the nose before he could reach her, knocking him back. While he was stunned she grabbed him, slammed him on the table and held a steak knife against his throat.

"Clarke!"

"What are you doing?"

She ignored Raven and Octavia's concerns over her actions and focussed on the loathesome man in front of her.

"This is your last warning," she told, slowly emphasising each word with restrained rage. "If you try to hurt her one more time, I will personally hand you over to that debtor. I hear he has a lot of very unpleasant things in mind for you. One last chance."

Darius was worried now. She could see it in his eyes, behind the scorn and hatefulness.

"You won't do that he will kill me."

She smirked suddenly.

"Oh he doesn't want to _kill_ you. He means to enslave you and get the rest of his money back. How does a life of hard labour and no freedom sound to you?"

She pressed the knife edge harder against his throat. She stared into his eyes, cold and absolute in her warnings. He knew that she could do it. He knew that she would yet some part of him still seemed to believe that somehow he could get of it.

"Do we understand each other?" she demanded.

"Yes," he choked.

She pulled back and he scrambled to his feet running an unsteady hand over his throat.

"Now get out before I really lose my temper.."

Darius scuttled away and Clarke put the steak knife down and returned to her seat. She felt Lexa's hand slip into hers under the table and rubbed a thumb over the back of it as they shared a longing look.

Everyone remained silent too stunned to say anything.

"Clarke do you still wish me to help you with you book today?" Lexa suddenky asked softly. "I am not very hungry."

Clarke got the message loud and clear. She was overwhelmed and wanted to leave the room.

"Thank you Princess. I would appreciate your input what with you being such a big fan of my work. We can go work on it now if you'd like."

Lexa smiled at her light, teasing tone and nodded. It was a small smile but it was something. They let go of each others hands under the table  and got to their feet and headed off together to Clarke's room without another word to the othera.

The King and Queen made their excuses and left too, clearly to discuss what had just happened. When it was only the three women left in the room, Raven and Octavia exploded.

"What.the.fuck?" Octavia said in surprise.

"I told you! Didn't I tell you that it's serious between them. Did you see how she was! When have you ever known Clarke to just lose it like that in front of everyone?"

Anya was silent as the two girls talked rapidly about their friend's odd behaviour. She was concerned, more than concerned. Darius had been worse than she expected. The way he talked, the way he looked at Lexa as if she was a possession. The way he had lunged at her like a brute. He had hit her and bullied her when they were married, she was sure of that.

Inside she felt a deep guilt that she hadn't been there to protect her. She should have known Lexa was being controlled by her parents. She should have never left Polis and left Lexa defenceless against them.

_Lexa, why didn't you contact me? Why did you never tell me how bad he was? I would have helped you._

 


	37. An Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Octavia talk about what happened. Clarke comforts Lexa after Darius' appearance and Anya feels guilty that she didn't the princess. Clarke invites Lexa to travel with her to Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translation
> 
> Yu laik meizen ai houmon - You are beautiful my wife. 
> 
> Mochof ai houmon - Thank you my wife.

"I am so sorry I didn't see this coming. I should have figured out what they were up to. I-"

Lexa stared at Clarke without blinking as she rambled and walked into the bedroom. Clarke closed the door and Lexa threw herself at her, wrapping her arms around her, clinging onto her for dear life. Clarke stopped mid-sentence and slowly brought her arms around Lexa's body.

"I didn't want you to ever have to see him again," Clarke told her in a hushed tone. "I promised to protect you."

"You did," Lexa mumbled. "You did."

Clarke brushed her hair back and Lexa lifted her head.

"I'm supposed to go back to Arkadia tomorrow. Do you wanna come with me? I'll invite Aden too. It's up to you Lexa."

Lexa lips curved into a wide smile, her eyes half-closed.

"I would love to Clarke."

The princess was staring at her sleepily and smiling as if she wanted to say something more. She seemed half in a daydream and Clarke felt that familiar pull towards her as if she was falling even further. She sighed and ran her fingers through Lexa's hair.

"I thought they would have accepted it by now but they seem determined to marry you off to some other idiot."

Lexa's smile widened at the bitter tone in Clarke's voice. She was being uncharacteristically jealous. She had stared at Prince Roan for the entire meal as if to warn him away from her. Lexa was just relieved that he now understood that she wasn't interested.

"Thank you for backing me Clarke," Lexa said in a meek tone. "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there. I-I..."

Clarke saw her struggle to get the words out and rubbed her back softly. She was still shaken, still afraid.

"I thought," Lexa continued, exhaling, "that I could fight back but seeing him again. I-I froze."

Clarke held her tighter, rubbing reassuring circles on her back still.

"Hey you did fight back. You refused Roan and your mother. You spoke up. That was a big step for you. Darius - that will take more time."

Lexa rested her head on Clarke's neck.

"At one time you would have said nothing at all and just let them control you," Clarke whispered running her fingers up and down the back of Lexa's neck. "You stood your ground."

Lexa shifted, getting comfortable in the embrace.

"I just wish that I could be as brave as you Clarke."

"You are brave. Don't let anyone tell you that aren't. They don't know what you have been through."

Lexa placed a soft kiss on the side of Clarke's neck and the blonde looked down at her resting, with her eyes closed, in her arms.

" _Yu laik meizen ai houmon,_ " Clarke whispered.

" _Mochof ai houmon_ ," Lexa muttered not opening her eyes.

Clarke smiled knowing then that Lexa would be okay. It was risky taking her to Arkadia, what with all her friends and family there but she wasn't leaving her alone with her parents until she was sure they weren't going to try anything more.

"You know..." Clarke teased. "We could go out tonight, to mark our last night in Polis before we leave."

Lexa raised her head.

"After what happened last time?"

Clarke grinned.

"Well I did get a hot wife out of it so it didn't turn out so bad. So what do you say? Wanna have some fun?"

There was amusement behind Lexa's green eyes as they met Clarke's. The blonde could be so cheeky. Her blue eyes twinkled as she flirted with her shamelessly and, she had to say, much better than Prince Roan did. She merely nodded in reply and rested her head back on her wife's shoulder, closing her eyes again as she let the warmth of Clarke's embrace soothe her fears.

 

Anya was adept at many things, eavesdropping being one of them. Most of the time it wasn't needed but this time she positioned herself outside Clarke's room opening the door just a fraction to witness the whole conversation. When she saw Lexa in Clarke's arms and the blonde's gentleness with her she realised that Raven had been absolutely right as usual. She just didn't know how right she was.

Anya couldn't believe her ears as she listened. This was getting out of hand. The pair seemed unable to stop their relationship and they seemed incapable of staying away from each other for long and now they had married in secret. 

She should tell someone. It was her duty to inform Wells of anything that would affect Polis politically and this certainly did but her failure to keep Lexa safe in the past held a sway over her and she couldn't bring herself to betray her friend, even for her duty.

Clarke, she had been unsure of at first. She hadn't really spoken to the girl and had thought that she may be using Lexa but seeing how she had reacted to Darius, she knew that wasn't true. Clarke's ferocity shouldn't have surprised her but it did. She knew of Wanheda's reputation but she had been ready to kill him to protect Lexa. The look in her eyes as she had held the blade to his throat. She knew that look. She had given people that look right before she murdered them.

She had acted the same way Anya would've acted if it was Raven being attacked. She tried to imagine if someone had treated Raven as badly as Lexa, how she would feel, what she would do? In hindsight, Clarke had shown incredible restraint. Anya would have murdered him there and then without hesitation.

Anya thought on this and slinked away, her hand on her injured ribs as she silently chose to say nothing to no one about what she had heard. She would not interfere but she would be vigilant and she would protect their secret at all costs.

 

"I'd come with you but Anya still isn't fully healed yet," Raven told Clarke as she hugged her.

It was the next day and Clarke and Lexa were ready to go to Arkadia, opting to send an invitation to Aden as soon as possible.

"And I'm gonna stick around with Lincoln and help Luna and the refugees," Octavia told her hugging her next.

Clarke nodded.

"It's fine. You can keep an eye on things here. I'll keep in touch. Are you ready Lexa?"

Lexa was standing patiently, dressed in a formal red cloak, her hands clasped together. Clarke had braided her hair for her, offering when Lexa had remarked that her hair was unruly. She nodded and Octavia waved at her suddenly.

"Bye Lexa. Have a good trip."

When Octavia turned her head, her friendly smile faded at the sight of Raven staring at her.

"What?" she asked waving her hands. "She's nice."

Raven said nothing but gave her a look as if to say 'yeah sure'.

"Abby's going to have something to say to Clarke if she finds out about Lexa," Raven said.

"Well you would know," Octavia replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on. Everyone knows that you have a crush on her. I've seen you look at her with your big puppy dog eyes whenever she treats your leg."

Raven scoffed.

"That's ridiculous."

"When she helped you down from that horse last year I thought you were gonna kiss her."

"She's Clarke's _mother_."

"Sure Raven. Whatever you say?"

Octavia walked away and Raven chased after her.

"I do not have a crush on Abby."

"Keep telling yourself that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	38. Meeting the Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa arrive at Polis and meet Abby and Bellamy. Abby notices Clarke's weird shift in behaviour while Lexa is unsure of how to act around Clarke's friends and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder. Any hate comments will be deleted. Also I am not anti-bellarke or anti Bellamy Blake and don't engage in ship wars so any assumptions that I am will also be deleted. Ship whoever you like, it's your business. 
> 
> To everyone else who has been kind and supportive I will try to keep this a negativity free comment thread so that you can just focus on the story itself and enjoy it as you wish to. I hope that you are all liking it so far. I never intended it to be so long but well 'it takes as long as it takes'.

Arkadia was covered in a light mist when they arrived. Lexa took in the sight of the stone palace. It was smaller and less grand than Polis but she liked it's understated appearance. It seemed more friendly than Polis somehow and the weather was slightly warmer than in her land at this time of year.

Clarke climbed out of the coach and directed the driver to take their things to her room for her to deal with later. She watched Lexa taking in her surroundings in wonder. She knew that the princess had never been to Arkadia.

"It's not as fancy as Polis but it's cozier," Clarke said in a husky voice.

Lexa's still searched around her, observing every new sight with curiosity.

"It's wonderful Clarke."

Clarke smiled and lowered her eyes. It pleased her to no end that Lexa liked Arkadia. She wanted her to feel comfortable while she stayed.

"Also," Clarke said seductively. "We have the same baths as you do in Polis. Raven built them herself. Maybe while you're here..."

She let her words trail off but Lexa spun her head around with a smile, desire flashing in her eyes.

 _My God, that smile,_ Clarke thought. _I love making her smile so much. I'm so far gone_.

"I'll set you up in the guest room next to mine. We can get something to eat and freshen up and you can relax. Oh I'll show you the library too. You can use it whenever you like."

They stood side by side now, both gazing up at the palace doors.

"Well here goes," Clarke said.

For some reason this felt like a huge step for them both. Lexa had never interacted with Clarke outside Polis and TonDC and this was her home.

  
When they entered they were greeted by Abby and Bellamy who took turns to hug Clarke. Lexa remained very still and quiet waiting for formal introductions. She was in new territory.

She had no idea how formalities worked in Arkadia or if they would expect her to forgo them. The delinquents had appeared to ignore basic etiquette when they had visited TonDC. It was one of the features she found endearing about them though they made her nervous. Octavia and Raven she had become used to.

"Octavia isn't here," Clarke told Bellamy. "She stayed to help Luna with Lincoln and the refugees."

He nodded with a wry smile.

"I thought she might want to stick around in Polis for a while. Everyone who goes there doesn't seem to want to come back."

Clarke smiled back at him.

"It's the food. You have no idea how good the food is."

The dark haired boy, Lexa had met only once when he had visited Polis and her parents had assumed him to be Wanheda. She hadn't spoken to him and glanced around nervously realising that everyone here would be a stranger to her but Clarke.

"Who is she?" Abby asked Clarke in a hushed tone sharing a look with her daughter.

Clarke moved to stand beside Lexa, her hands clenched together in front of her body awkwardly.

"This is the Princess of Polis, Alexandria Woods. I have formally invited her to stay for a while to see Arkadia. Lexa this is General Blake and Abigail Griffin, my _mother_."

Lexa caught the slight emphasis on the last word and became very nervously suddenly at the thought of finally meeting Abby. Clarke had told her about their strained relationship and she really wanted to make a good impression on her. Lexa bowed her head politely thinking that she must say something or Clarke's mother might think her strange and dislike her.

"Thank you for the invitation General Blake, Abigail Griffin. I look forward to learning about Arkadia and it's unique culture."

The pair looked at her and then looked at Clarke in puzzlement. They acted as if she were from another planet. Lexa drew in her breath, resting her hands in her lap and darted her eyes away. She had been right. They were unused to formal greetings. She had made a mistake.

"Lexa has never been to Arkadia and so I thought that it would be good for the treaty to invite her and her cousin Aden to stay for some time. I've sent word to Prince Aden. He should arrive soon."

The pair appeared baffled at Clarke's more formal manner in front of Lexa. They were clearly unused to her acting in such a way.

"Clarke can I talk to you for a second?" Abby asked.

The blonde reluctantly moved out of earshot with her mother, barely meeting her gaze.

"Have you been hit on the head? Since when do you use formal titles. You've outrighted refused to call anyone prince or princess since you were five."

Clarke shrugged.

"She's a royal guest. It's good for relations and that's how they address people in Polis."

Abby raised an eyebrow and tilted her head as if to say that she didn't believe her.

"Clarke you're my daughter. I know you. You hate formality. You hate the upper classes. This isn't like you."

Clarke met her eyes, lifting her head in defiance.

"This is how we keep the peace. I'll do whatever I have to do to protect our people."

Her mother's pursed her lips and raised her eyebrow at the slip.

" _Our_ people."

Clarke played it off immediately coming up with an excuse.

"Mine and Bellamy's. He rules Arkadia as much as I do."

She had gotten used to thinking of them as her and Lexa's people now they were married. She would have to be more careful with her words if she wanted to keep the others in the dark about their relationship.

"Clarke," her mother started. "If you think that someone from Polis will be welcome in Arkadia..."

Her daughter scowled at her, anger flashing in her eyes.

"She will be welcome in Arkadia as my guest, and you and everyone else will be polite to her and respectful and not blame her for a war she had no part in."

Abby frowned not sure what to make of this strange change in her daughter but she knew that when Clarke set her mind to something there was no one could stand in her way.

Clarke turned and headed back to the others without another word. Her mother watched her carefully. She was saying and doing everything as she normally would but something had changed. Something was different. She observed the Princess who seemed extremely shy. As Clarke told Bellamy the arrangements, the Princess looked towards Clarke occassionally as if to check with her that she was acting appropriately.

Something about the way Clarke stood between them as if to protect Lexa bothered Abby. She wasn't sure what it was about their body language but something was off. When Clarke had left for TonDC she had been moody and distant. She had seemed distracted all year. Now she seemed lighter, happier, relaxed even and her daughter had barely spent a day in her life relaxed.

Abby just couldn't put her finger on it. Something was different.

"Anyway," she heard Clarke say, turning to Lexa. "We should get started on the tour so you know your way around. After you, Princess."

There was the hint of a smile on Lexa's lips as Clarke moved aside for her in a chivalrous manner. Her tone was light and playful, teasing almost. It was then that it all clicked.

_Oh!_

The way they smiled at each, the teasing tone, Clarke's respectful way of addressing Lexa.

 _They're having sex_ thought Abby. _That's why she's inviting her._

The new knowledge angered her. She knew that Clarke was an adult and could see who she pleased but to use her position of power to continue an affair. Lexa was very likely to be married already? How could she bring her 'hookup' as Raven usually put it to Arkadia? It was wildly disrespectful.

_And I thought I was used to your rebellious streak. Even for you this is inappropriate._

Abby said nothing as she watched her daughter and the princess head down the large hallway. She would keep it to herself but if Clarke thought she would comfortable with this she would have to think again. How dare they?

 

 

 


	39. Marital Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa discuss Abby and talk about Lexa's more dominant side. Lexa asks to see Clarke's room and things get steamy as they spend more time consumating their marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes smut and general wedded bliss. Also thanks for all your support. I really appreciated all the great comments you posted after the last chapter.

"Your mother doesn't like me," Lexa said in dismay as Clarke unpacked her things.

They were in the guest room and she was helping Lexa to unpack.

"She doesn't _know_ you. Give it time."

"I was too formal. I didn't know the etiquette."

Clarke shook her head.

"No, Lexa. They were surprised but you don't have to change yourself for their sake. You're naturally polite. It's who you are. There's nothing wrong with that. They'll just have to get used to it."

Clarke continued unpacking as she spoke, Lexa helping but at a far slower pace than Clarke who seemed to do it without even thinking.

"If it's too much," Clarke continued. "If you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable tell me. I want you to be happy here but if you aren't we can leave. Just tell me okay?"

Lexa rested her head on Clarke's shoulder to show her gratitude. Clarke always managed to make her feel like everything was going to turn out fine. As long as she was there Lexa trusted that she was safe.

"I want to stay here with you," she told her. "I would like to see your land and learn of it's customs."

"Then we stay."

Clarke turned her head and met her eyes.

"And for the record, I like how polite you are. It's adorable. It makes it all the more fun when you start turning all _commander_ in the bedroom."

Lexa lifted her head raising an eyebrow.

"Commander? Like _heda_?"

"Yes _heda_. Like when I babbled about calling you my girlfriend and you told me to stop talking and basically screwed me senseless. That was _Heda Leksa._ "

Lexa found the nickname strange but somehow it pleased her though she wasn't quite sure why.

"I am so far from a commander Clarke. I have never had any power over anything in my life."

"That's not true. You had a lot of power over me that day. I remember it very vividly. How could I not?"

Lexa smirked suddenly. She had fond memories of that day too.

"Anyway. You're all unpacked. Do you want me to leave you to get settled?"

Lexa shook her head.

"C-could I?" She lowered her head shyly. "Could I see your room?"

The broad smile that spread across Clarke's face was one of pure joy.

"Sure. I would love that. It's only next door. Come on."

Clarke took her hand and led her to her private bedroom. Lexa scanned around as they entered hand in hand.

It wasn't too large or small and there was sunlight coming in through curtains that led to a balcony. There was double bed with fur blankets and an elaborately carved wooden headboard. 

"Do you like it? We can always redecorate if you don't."

Lexa smiled, genuinely pleased. The room was very Clarke. Sketches from her book were framed on the wall around the room. It was simple and practical but the artwork made it colourful.

One image caught her attention as she took it all in. It was the image she had drawn of Lexa, masked as _heda_ in her story. In it she was fierce and ready for battle. The image beside it she recognised as a tasteful impressionist sketch of her own half-naked back, her face hidden and her long hair trailing down onto bed covers seductively.

Lexa had seen Clarke working on a rough version of the image before she had left Polis the first time.

"Is this how you see me?" she asked with wonder.

She turned and saw Clarke staring at her with the softest expression.

"Beautiful? Brave? Incredible? Yes, that's how I see you."

Lexa huffed.

"I don't _feel_ very brave," she replied.

Clarke played with one of her braids absent-mindedly.

"Being shy doesn't make you a coward. Darius was rude because he was stupid and arrogant and entitled. You're shy because you think of the consequences of your words so much and that's just because you care. It's brave to care about people in this world but you can't lessen yourself to make them feel better all the time or you lose yourself."

Lexa leaned in and kissed her. It was tender and sweet and time seemed to cease for a moment.

"I love you," she whispered leaning her forehead on Clarke's.

"I love you too, very much and I like how you talk and how thoughtful and polite you are and how you always want to do what's right. I love everything about you, even the things that you don't."

Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She didn't know how they had gotten to this point but they had. Clarke had gone from being a complete stranger to being the most important person in her life. She barely remembered a time when she felt completely alone and unsupported. Clarke had been a constant source of support since they evening they'd met.

"So princess, we have a few hours before lunch. What would you like to see first?"

Lexa opened her eyes and smiled broadly. Her gaze flickered to the nearby double bed. Clarke grinned knowing what she wanted right away.

"As you wish, commander."

Clarke moved to close and lock the door and Lexa grabbed her and pulled her down onto the bed, falling on top of the blonde as she landed softly on her back. She brought their lips together, Clarke craning upwards off the bed and chasing Lexa's lips. It was desperate and hungry while delicate and slow. Lexa tilted her head fully to one side and Clarke reached to undo her braids and let her hair loose, shaking it out and letting it fall in waves around her shoulders. Her other hand reached for Lexa's and entwined their fingers.

They kissed slowly for several minutes before it began to become more heated. Clarke fumbled with the black fabric ties at back of Lexa's neck to untie them and let them fall revealing Lexa's bare shoulders. Clarke tugged down the long sleeved black dress and Lexa pulled back, her eyes shining a light green as daylight shone on her face, above Clarke.

The blonde was transfixed by the image of her forehead and eyes lit up by sun as she watched Lexa grip both sides of her dress and slip it over her head with ease. The princess removed the fabric covering her breasts and heard Clarke take a sharp intake of breath as it was discarded aside.

Clarke scrambled to remove her own clothes, throwing them wherever they would land and soon they were both naked on her bed. Lexa didn't wait for her to climb under the covers as they usually did, instead she covered Clarke's body with her own holding the blonde's arms up behind her head on the pillow with a grin.

Clarke's eyes were wide, darting down to Lexa's lips and body. Lexa knew what she was thinking, what she wanted to do but she straddled her guiding Clarke's hands to her hips. The princess stared at her, smiling broadly as she shifted upward, Clarke's hands supporting her as she moved up higher until Lexa's entrance was in front of her face. Clarke caressed the curve of her hips and drew her closer, opening her mouth as her wife's core met her lips.

Clarke went to work immediately, clearly enjoying the taste of her as she darted her tongue inbetween her lover's legs and drank in her desire. The effect on Lexa was immediate and she gripped the headboard with a low moan as she threw her head back. Her moaning grew louder as Clarke's mouth worked beneath her, her arousal growing with every second.

Eventually it got too much as Clarke unravelled her control and her body began to move of it's own will as she rocked into the sensation and then the feeling that had been building up reached it's peak.

She shuddered and moaned as Clarke sped up and then her body stilled, her mouth hanging open as she fell into bliss unable to keep from crying out as she fell.

She pressed her head against the wall, panting while she recovered. Then she felt another sly lick and her body reacting again. Clarke drew it out, sending her tongue to just the right place, finding just the right spot to make her tremble and shudder and keep coming until she couldn't be more satisfied.

When she touched Clarke's shoulder to let her know that she was done, the blonde loosened her embrace on her thighs and hips and let her lower herself back down slowly.

Lexa fell on her back beside Clarke and to her later dismay fell straight asleep. The blonde chuckled as she looked at her sleeping peacefully with beads of sweat covering her forehead as she turned into the pillow away from Clarke.

Clarke put her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. She was sure Lexa would probably return the favour later and pleasing her made her very happy. She closed her eyes still wearing a big smile and decided a nap wouldn't be such a bad idea. They had both been travelling all morning and they hadn't slept on the road.

They had been up late at the tavern and had spent the evening in a room there. They had talked all night, danced, made love but had slept only a few hours before creeping back into the palace in the early hours of the morning.

Lexa turned suddenly in her sleep and curled up into Clarke's body, somehow falling into her natural pattern and wrapping her arm around Clarke's waist. Clarke placed her arm over Lexa's to keep it there and settled down to sleep.

Somehow it felt right having Lexa in her bed. It felt different, less like a secret and more domestic. Clarke could relax in Arkadia without Lexa's parents or Darius to worry about and she had thought many times when she had been apart from Lexa how much in Arkadia she would like to show the princess. She fell asleep with a permanant smile on her face and her wife safe in her arms thankful for every second they got to be together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	40. Honeymoon Period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby almost catches Clarke and Lexa in an awkward situation. Lexa makes a new friend. Abby presses Lexa for information about her marital status and when Clarke and Lexa try something new it leads to an intimate discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a lot of smut, has discussions about sexuality and Darius' cruelty so please take care. Also deals with some confusion on Lexa's part. 
> 
> Trigedasleng
> 
> Hodness - Love

"Where the hell is she?"

Bellamy glanced at Abby and shrugged. They were waiting at the dinner table for Clarke and Lexa and they were late. Jasper, Monty and Harper were all busy tucking in to their meal barely even aware of the blonde's absence.

"This is ridiculous," Abby said getting out of her chair and storming off to find her daughter.

She reached Clarke's room and turned the handle to find it locked.

_What is that girl up to?_

  
Clarke had stirred to find Lexa brushing her hair back from her face. She opened her eyes and saw concerned green eyes.

"I fell asleep. I'm sorry. It was selfish of me."

The blonde yawned and stretched.

"Lexa it's okay. We were travelling all day."

The princess wore a stoic expression but then moved and started kissing the side of her neck, planting soft kisses along her skin until she opened her mouth and began to suck on the sensitive area. Lexa made her way down to her collarbone and suddenly held up the covers on her head and disappeared underneath them.

"What are you doing?" Clarke chuckled as Lexa's lips brushed against her stomach.

exa moved lower and Clarke threw her head back immediately as plump lips sucked on her inner thighs. She felt a tongue drawing up her thigh until it reached her centre and she gasped.

"Oh! I guess it's my turn."

She moaned Lexa's name, and closed her eyes as the princess ran her hands along her thighs burying herself inbetween the blonde's legs. Clarke placed one hand on the back of Lexa's head, entangling her fingers in her long wavy hair.

Clarke didn't last much longer than Lexa had earlier that day and she whimpered Lexa's name as she teased her with her tongue, drawing out her pleasure as the orgasm wracked her body. She shuddered as Lexa flicked her tongue against her clitoris, circling the sensitive spot before bringing it into her mouth and sucking.

It was frantic and Clarke couldn't contain herself from moaning. She gripped onto the sheets, biting her lip to stop from crying out her lover's name in ecstacy.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and they both jumped. Lexa pulled the covers back revealing herself and looked at Clarke startled.

"I'm busy" Clarke growler, deeply frustration at the sudden interruption.

She had been close to another climax. She had been seconds away.

"Clarke Abigail Griffin, you open this door right now!"

Lexa panicked and fell off the bed with a  landing with a thud. She got to her feet wiping her mouth and Clarke gestured for her to get behind the curtains rushing to dress as quickly as she could. It was frantic as Clarke shoved Lexa's clothes under the bed removing all evidence of their encounter.

"I'm warning you. If you don't open this door right away I'm going to-"

Clarke opened the door flushed and found her mother standing there. Abby strode in and checked around without even asking.

"What's this about?" Clarke asked, trying to sound casual despite the rapid pounding of her heart.

She was charged with endorphins but she had to play it calm or her mother would know something was amiss.

"Don't play dumb with me," Abby said scanning around the room with her eyes. "You and Lexa didn't show up for dinner. Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow as if she had no idea what her mother was talking about.  
Her mother's jaw clenched as she tried to read her daughter and her head tilted.

"I fell asleep and overslept," Clarke told her. "Lexa probably lost track of time reading. The Princess does that. Did you check the library or the study? She might be reading in one of those."

Her mother didn't seem like she quite believed her but Lexa was well hidden behind the curtains and without evidence her mother had nothing to accuse her of.

"No. I should go and find her and make sure she knows that food is served."

"I'll do it," Clarke offered. "I'm coming down to dinner now. I'll find her and bring her along."

She saw the uncertainty in her mother's eyes but kept her cool and Abby backed down, her tone easing.

"Don't take too long. It will get cold."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

Her mother left the room closing the door behind her, deeply dissatisfied with her detective work.

"It's clear," Clarke said turning towards the curtains.

Lexa didn't move but she heard her shriek suddenly and the blonde rushed to pull open the curtain. Lexa had some of the fabric wrapped around her to cover her modesty and she was backed away from a small black kitten that was sitting on the balcony, staring at her in curiosity.

"It's staring at me," Lexa said trying to hold the curtain up around her naked body.

"Oh that's just Madi. She won't hurt you."

Clarke reached over and picked up the kitten in and placed it on her bed. She saw Lexa eye it warily as if she had never seen one before in her life.

"What is it?" she asked.

The blonde's lips curved in amusement.

"It's a kitten. Haven't you ever seen a cat before?"

Lexa edged over and Clarke directed her to her clothes. She dressed quickly, not taking her eyes from the creature.

"I've seen cats in books but they grew very large and they were fierce."

Clarke watched her in fascination. She acted as if Madi was some ferocious beast.

"They don't grow that large here. People keep them as pets. This one is a stray."

Clarke scratched Madi's chin and the back of her ears softly, rubbing her hand over the fur. The kitten purred and brushed itself against her hand.

Lexa was still standing rather awkwardly beside the bed.

"It's okay. Come here."

Clarke gestured to the bed and Lexa sat down apart from them. Clarke picked up the kitten.

"Trust me," she said, her blue eyes warm and reassuring.

She placed Madi in Lexa's lap.

"She likes it if you scratch behind her ears. You can stroke her but always go towards the tail. Cats hate it if you rub them the wrong way."

Clarke demonstrated and ran her hand along the black bundle of fur all the way to her tail. Lexa was cautious but she reached out and touched the soft fur and the kitten purred and rubbed it's nose against her fingers. Lexa giggled in surprise.

"It's so soft. Why does it make that sound?"

"She's purring," Clarke told her. "Cat's purr when they are happy."

Clarke watched her interacting with the kitten in her lap with sheer joy. It was so innocent and so adorable to see the two of them interacting.

"She likes you," Clarke said with a smile.  
  
"How old is she?"

"I don't know. About 12 weeks I'd guess. Must be orphaned. She was pretty wild at first. She went crazy when I went near hear and attacked me. I left some food and milk out and kept changing it and eventually she began to trust me. Now she comes and goes as she pleases and pretty much lives with me."

Lexa was in love. The kitten was pawing at her, rolling over on it's back in her lap.

"Wow," Clarke said raising an eyebrow. "She never takes to anyone so fast."

The blonde got to her feet.

"Anyway come on. We better get down to dinner before my mother starts banging on doors again."

Lexa looked up her with the kitten in her arms and actually pouted. Her arms wrapped around then small bundle as if to beg to take the kitten with her.

"Don't look at me like that. Put Madi down. You can cuddle her some more after dinner."

Lexa sighed and placed the kitten down on the bed. Madi immediately meowed in protest and when Lexa moved the kitten leapt down and slinked after her, her tail waving behind her.

"You found her then," her mother remarked wryly.

Clarke didn't respond but sat down, eyeing her meal with delight. She was hungry and still deeply worked up from being interrupted. Lexa suddenly made a noise as Madi meowed and rubbed herself against Lexa's leg. Clarke shook her head glancing under the table.

"Madi! How did you get in here?"

Lexa couldn't stop smiling as Madi jumped up into her lap and settled down and Clarke couldn't help from enjoying how happy and cute she was as she showered the kitten with affection, completely forgetting her manners for once.

"I think you've made a new friend," Clarke teased with a smile.

She turned and found the others at the table staring at her as if she'd grown another head.

"What?" she asked.

"Since when do you let anyone near Madi?" Bellamy asked. "You spoil that kitten as if it's your own child."

Clarke shrugged.

"Madi seems to like her. There's not much I can do about that. Princess, your meal is going cold."

Lexa glanced up, remembering where she was and picked up her fork. Madi was curled up in her lap, purring as she settled down to nap.

"Prince Aden sent word," Bellamy said. "He should be here tomorrow. I hope you're going to be the one babysitting. I did enough of that with Octavia."

"Aden doesn't need babysitting. He's a smart kid. Lexa, Bellamy is Octavia's older brother. He practically raised her."

Lexa nodded becoming shy again.

"You have done a fine job. She has turned into a very pleasant young woman."

Bellamy's smile turned into a grin, his eyebrows raised.

"Pleasant. Are you sure we're talking about the same Octavia?" he joked.

"I spent some time in discussion with her in the Polis library. She was very interested in Classical Roman and Greek literature because of your mother."

She saw something flash in Bellamy's eyes, some old pain.

"Yeah our mother used to read them to us both when we were kids. I didn't know if she even remembered."

"She remembers," Clarke said, before taking another mouthful of her meal.

The kitten on her lap suddenly pricked up it's ear hearing some noise that interested it. Madi opened her eyes and leapt down scuttling away and Clarke saw the look of disappointment Lexa wore.

"She'll be off to the kitchen. The serving boy feeds her about the same time every day and then she'll disappear for a while. She's quite independent."

Lexa's lips were curved down in disappointment and Clarke wished she could reach over and kiss her cheek to make her smile again.

"So Princess Alexandria um Lexa," Abby said. "Are you married yet? I imagine your parents will be keen to find you a husband."

Clarke and Lexa both stopped, their forks frozen in their hands on their plates.

"Mother!"

Abby glanced at her.

"What? It's a reasonable question? I just thought she was married to Prince Darius yet I see no wedding ring."

Clarke could've cursed at her mother's actions. She knew that she didn't know any better, that she didn't understand that just mentioning his name affected Lexa terribly.

"Darius is not a prince," she said with restraint. "And they aren't married anymore."

Bellamy glanced at her but said nothing. She knew that he had read the treaty and still wondered why that part had been included. Clarke had made excuses that Wells had been the one who wanted that stipulation.

"Oh!" her mother replied, slightly embarrassed that she had gotten it wrong. "How terrible? Did something happen?"

_Please, please stop asking her questions? Clarke thought desperately._

She knew that her mother meant well but Lexa's eyes were cast downwards now and Clarke knew that she was retreating into herself again.

"The marriage was annulled," Lexa said in a quiet voice. "W-we weren't very close."

"Ah so you are searching for a new match. Maybe you will find a suitor in Arkadia."

Clarke almost choked on her dinner at the thought.

"I hear Prince Roan is available and searching for a suitable wife.."

_Urgh! Please stop._

Clarke couldn't believe that she was doing this.

"I am not looking for a match currently," Lexa told her politely.

Clarke knew that this was making her deeply uncomfortable.

"Oh. How unusual. Well you're still young, there's always time for marriage later."

Clarke and Lexa exchange a brief look between them.

 _If only she knew_ thought Clarke.

"Lexa," Clarke said, quickly changing the subject. "Is the food okay? I know it's not as fancy as what you are used to but it's a traditional meal here in Arkadia."

Lexa smiled at her attempts to lighten the conversation.

"It is wonderful," she replied. "It's very satisfying. Hopefully I can learn much more about your culture during my visit."

"Well I know how fond you are of good dining even if you did leave your last meal half-finished."

"What was wrong? Did it not taste good?" Bellamy muttered in complete ignorance.

Lexa's heart was pounding as she glanced at Clarke catching the double meaning in her words.

"It was the best meal I have ever had. It was unfortunate I was- interrupted. I really would have liked to finished it."

"I'm sure you'll get a chance to soon. It's probably still waiting for you."

Lexa's eyes were burning with desire now and Clarke had to ignore the lust flooding through her body.

"I really hope so," Lexa replied with the hint of a smile.

 _Me too_ , Clarke thought.

  
After dinner Clarke and Lexa sneaked back away to her room like giddy teenagers, locking the door behind them, Lexa undressing Clarke at speed to finish what she had started. Clarke leaned back against the door as Lexa fumbled with her trouser buttons and pulled them down, dragging her underwear down with them. In moments she was on her knees, pleasuring Clarke with her mouth against the door.

Clarke lost control pretty quickly having had still been incredibly worked up from earlier. This time she did cry out unable to stop herself.

"Oh God Lexa. Oh.my.God. That's so good keep doing that. Right there."

She threw her head back against the door and lost herself in the sensation as Lexa made her want to scream in ecstacy, nothing but short desperate sounds leaving her mouth.

She was going to scream. Oh my god she was going to be too loud but she couldn't help it. She needed something to with her mouth or everyone in the palace would heard them Clarke brought her hand to her face and gently nipped the side of her own index to stop herself from screaming out. It worked and placated her mouth as the orgasm wracked her body, one, twice, multiples times.

Lexa stopped, recognising that she'd had enough now and Clarke let out a deep breath, letting her body fall limp against the door. Lexa held her steady and raised herself up, stroking Clarke's forehead and cheeks as she panted against the door.

"That was-" Clarke struggled for the words, her body deeply sated. "Incredible."

Lexa was studying her with fascination, Clarke's eyes were still closed and she was more than beautiful like this. She had a thought and leaned in to bring their lips together, slipping her tongue in to let Clarke taste herself. Clarke moaned but responded with her own tongue accepting Lexa's gift. They kissed with tongues for what seemed like ages and soon they were ready again and Clarke led her backwards and pushed her down on the bed. Lexa rolled her over and Clarke pulled back with a smile.

"Do you want to do something different?" she asked.

Lexa nodded and Clarke opened the drawer beside her bed and pulled out an object Lexa had never seen but could guess what it was for.

"I've never done this before but you tie this strap around and you wear this and..."

There was a hopeful twinkle in Clarke's blue eyes but then she suddenly seemed to doubt herself.

"It's probably too much. You may not be ready for this. We'll forget about it."

Lexa took the item, pulling up her dress and placed it around her body, buckling it tight enough so that it would be snug. It was strange for her. Unusual. She had never done anything like it but god she wanted to. She was so hungry for the blonde beneath her. Clarke had a look in her eyes that she had not seen before. It was almost vulnerable and needy.

"Are you sure you want to do this? If you're not okay with it..."

Lexa hovered over her thinking that she was the luckiest woman alive.

"I'm sure."

She went slow, building Clarke up gradually before easing into her. The moan Clarke gave her in response was a sound she would never forget. There was something about her letting her do this, something about her being totally vulnerable that made Lexa want to protect her and to make love to her in the way she deserved.

As she moved her hips in time with Clarke's she knew that this connection between them made everything worth it. All the secrets, all the hiding. Clarke was worth it and she would give her anything.

Afterwards they were quiet and lying on their backs on the bed.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Lexa asked suddenly. "I was as careful as I could be."

Clarke turned her head to meet Lexa's eyes.

"No you didn't hurt me," she replied in a soft tone. "How are you doing?"

Lexa seemed deep in thought, staring up at the ceiling now.

"I'm fine. I never imagined doing something like that. It felt-," Lexa raised her eyebrows. "-intimate but I liked it."

"We don't need to use it again unless you want to. God knows what we usually do is more than enough."

Lexa turned her head.

"Clarke?" she asked. "You're attracted to men and women both."

"Yes," Clarke said. "Sometimes. Since I met you though I'm far more interested in women."

Clarke wasn't sure what was going through her mind. It concerned her that Lexa seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"You know," Clarke said propping herself up on her elbow. "I was rarely that interested in anyone. I never had the time or really the desire to date. I mean I was attracted to people but it wasn't enough to make me want more. Sex for me is always about connecting with someone. I can't just have sex. I have to be really drawn to someone."

Clarke cradled Lexa's face, caressing her jawline with her thumbs.

"I've never desired anyone as much as I want you. I've never loved anyone like I love you."

Clarke leaned back and brushed back her hair.

"You're the love of my life Lexa."

Lexa seemed unable to reply, her eyes filled with wonder. Clarke leaned down to kiss her on the lips tenderly.

"And you are the love of mine. It just felt..."

"Say it Lexa. It's okay. You can be honest with me."

"It confused me," Lexa replied.

"It's no different to you using your fingers or mouth. It's just a prop to use. It's-  ah, now I understand."

Clarke brushed her hair from her forehead.

"Lexa... You are _not_ Darius. It's different. We both love each other and want each other and I trust you."

A tear came to Lexa's eyes.

"He was so cruel. I wanted to dominate you. I wanted to take you. Is that the same?"

"That's not the same as being cruel at all. We're both consenting adults and we both know that we would never hurt each other. I'm willingly letting you take control."

"I could never hurt you," Lexa choked.

"And that's why I trust you completely. I wouldn't have done that with someone I didn't trust."

Lexa nodded, feeling much more comfortable now. She had been suprised at how much she had enjoyed seeing Clarke as she had used the item to pleasure her but a part of her had felt strange about it given her past with Darius. The way Clarke talked about it made it seem perfectly normal and put things into perspective.

"Do you want me to use it again sometimes?" Lexa asked in a light tone.

Clarke smiled.

"That's entirely up to you. It was really really hot so I would be up for it again but nothing really compares to what you did to me against the door earlier."

Lexa beamed smiling shyly and Clarke knew that she preferred that too. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and drew her close.

" _Hodness_ ," she whispered.

 


	41. A Day in ArkadiaC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shows Bellamy the letter she took from Nia. Clarke takes Aden and Lexa on a tour of Arkadia and Lexa discovers something from Clarke's past

"She can't be serious."

Bellamy studied the letter Clarke had showed him from Azgeda. It was an invitation from Nia to Polis to form an alliance against Arkadia.

"She is," Clarke replied. "She wants to destroy us as quickly as possible. Her defeat was an embarrassment. Nia hates being beaten."

"Wells won't go for it," Bellamy replied, pushing back on his desk chair.

"Check who it's addressed to."

Bellamy scanned over the letter.

"The Woods Royal Family."

"It's a statement of intent," Clarke told him. "She is letting them know that if she defeats Wells in the next battle she will reinstate them. She is trying to get them on her side."

Bellamy raised and eyebrow.

"So what'd we do?"

"When I was in Azgeda I noticed that they have only one route in for their supply lines, from the North. At the moment it's clear but they'll have trouble when the snow hits so if we hire some mercenaries to hit the supply lines..."

Bellamy tapped the table with his fingers.

"They'll be low on military supplies by the winter and we can cut them off completely and send a force in to overthrow her plus she can't trace the action back to us."

"We need a backup plan, in case it doesn't work."

The dark haired boy lifted his gaze to Clarke's.

"What about Polis?"

Clarke shook her head.

"They'll only work with her if they lose. They want their power back but the King and Queen won't back a losing side."

Bellamy frowned, thinking through ther options.

"I'm still in contact with Echo but I think we'd be better keeping her out of it, at least until Nia is taken care of."

"I agree. I know that you're - close but we have to be careful who we trust."

He nodded.

"How was Octavia and Raven when you saw them?"

"Great," Clarke replied. "Raven is crazy about Anya and Octavia and Lincoln seem really close. They both seemed happy."

Bellamy looked pensive suddenly.

"She's not going to come back is she?"

She knew that he meant Octavia.

"Raven no, Octavia possibly. I'm sure they'l both visit you. You won't lose her. She's just - content where she is for now."

Bellamy still tapped his fingers on his desk.

"I'll get this seen to," he said, holding up the letter. "I'll leave you to babysitting the Woods. You're the only one I trust not to reveal something important to them."

A pang of guilt hit Clarke as she thought of how open she had been with Lexa. Away from Arkadia, it didn't feel like it mattered. She forgot all about her worries. Being back only reminded her that her friends and family saw Lexa and Aden as enemies of Arkadia even though they were at peace with their lands now.

"Was there something else?" Bellamy asked, noticing her change in mood.

"No," she lied. "That was all. I better go and greet the Prince formally."

Clarke should've felt guilty lying to him but she would protect Lexa and keep the secret. Her loyalty lay with her wife now. She turned to leave without another word and headed to greet Aden.

  
A few hours later and Clarke, Aden, Lexa and Nyko were touring the sights of Arkadia. Aden seemed excited and Lexa fascinated as their carriage took them to see each of the improvements Clarke had implemented. Aden asked her to explain each one and he listened dutifully as she told him of the long-terms effects of her changes.

"So the aqueducts supply our land with water and it goes through Raven's sanitation system to prevent disease. The irrigation makes sure the crops are well watered even in the dry season so we no longer have to spend most of the taxes on buying produce from other kingdoms and our food supply is plentiful."

Aden nodded staring out of the carriage window as the lands. He seemed keen to learn all her could in preparation for his future leadership. Aden was the only son of the King of Polis' brother, who ruled a neighbouring land. He was next in line and seemed to take the responsibility very seriously.

"The arches are beautiful," Lexa commented craning her head up to look at the large aqueducts that had been built.

"They were my father's design. He never got a chance to see them built so when I became Wanheda it was one of the first major changes we made."

Lexa met her eyes, noticing the hint of sadness in her tone.

"He would have been very proud of what you have accomplished Clarke. Arkadia is more prosperous than ever."

She smiled at Lexa who was seated across from her and Aden.

"When I am ruler," Aden told her, "I will swear loyalty to Arkadia and we will protect this wonderful place and the people who live here."

Clarke grinned at him. He was serious but kind of sweet in how earnest he was.

"I have no doubt that you will be a great ruler Aden and that your people will be well taken care of."

Aden bowed his head politely and she noticed the large smile Lexa wore as she watched them interact.

They continued the tour and after a while Aden began to tire. Clarke noticed him falling asleep as the sky began to grow dark and told Nyko that it might be better if he took Aden home.

"I can escort Lexa from here. We are close to the palace and there's still one more place that I would like to show the princess on the way back."

Nyko eyed her warily and then his gaze shifted to Lexa. He remained silent but bowed his head and Clarke and Lexa left the carriage.

As the carriage pulled away leaving them on the side of the road, Clarke handed her a cloak to cover herself and took her hand. She led her through the narrow streets and into a small, abandoned library, hidden away in a poorer part of Arkadia.

"This is where I used to go," Clarke told her. "When I wanted to disappear for a while. The others don't even know about this place. It was closed down during the wars."

Lexa scanned the room. It was smaller than she was used and clearly had been left to ruin but it had been cleaned and there was something wonderful about the place.

"I'm going to redecorate it one day," Clarke said. "I'm going to paint it myself. I thought that I could fix up the place and hire some people to have it and then you could have it."

Lexa's eyes widened as she turned to Clarke.

"You're gifting this to me?"

"Of course. It was my favourite place when I was a kid. Without it I might never have become a writer at all and who knows more about books than you? We could make it open to anyone to read the books for thosr who can't afford them."

Lexa inhaled sharply.

"This is wonderful Clarke. I don't know what to say."

Clarke edged closer to her wrapping her arms around Lexa's waist and pulling her closer.

"You don't have to say anything."

"I can't accept this," Lexa said suddenly. "It has meaning for you. You cannot give it away."

Clarke smiled.

"I want you to have it because it's special to me."

Lexa's lips widened into a large smile. She was excited at the prospect.

"My father used to bring me here when I was a kid," Clarke said wistfully. "He would show me the engineering books and show me how to draw building plans."

Lexa rubbed one hand over Clarke's back. She knew that her wife missed her father dearly.

"Anyway," Clarke said changing the subject. "There's a place nearby where the food is incredible. Are you hungry?"

Lexa nodded and let Clarke take her hand and lead her through the narrow streets. As she glanced at the run down buildings, she noticed that some of them were being repaired or rebuilt and realised where they were. This was Clarke's old neighbourhood. She had likely started redevelopment of the place as soon as she got the chance. She had known Clarke had grown up in poverty but she hadn't realised how impoverished her life had been.

They stayed out much later than Clarke had intended, the blonde enjoyed showing Lexa around Arkadia.

There was something off though, they both felt it. They missed Polis. The land which Clarke had once seen as her home no longer felt like home. The thought brought Clarke to something she hadn't realised before. She would prefer to live in Polis. She had gotten far too used to Lexa's room.

"Hey Lexa," Clarke said stopping before they reached the palace. "I'm glad you're here.

"Me too," Lexa replied softly.

They let go of each other's hands as the palace came into sight. It was always a wrench to part and keep their relationship secret.

As they entered Clarke found her mother talking in the entrance to a man with long, dark hair, half tied back. She seemed friendly with him and Clarke couldn't help but think that he was familiar to her somehow.

"Clarke, you're back. This is Marcus Kane. Marcus this is my daughter."

The man turned and Clarke met his eyes. Lexa stiffened as she saw him and Clarke's pulse began to race.

It was him. The one who had married them.

"Hi, Clarke. It's nice to finally meet you." 

 

 

 

 

 


	42. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds herself having to explain her actions and finds an unexpected ally for her and Lexa.

Both of them were frozen to the spot as Clarke's mother introduced Marcus Kane to them as if they hadn't already met.

"I've been looking forward to meeting to you. Abby has told me a lot about you."

Abby? Clarke thought. What is going on here?

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this," Abby said quickly when she realised that her daughter had noticed his familiarity.

"Marcus is my suitor. I am thinking of marrying again."

Clarke eyed Marcus. She wasn't concerned about her mother moving on. She wanted her to be happy but of all the people she could have chosen she picked him. What if he said something? What if he'd already told her? No she would have already confronted her if she did.

She gave Lexa a glance. The princess wasn't doing much better. Marcus knew. He knew and he was dating her mother.

"Marcus I'm just going to check if our evening meal is nearly ready. Clarke will you join us?"

"Er- we already ate. Sorry."

Her mother narrowed her eyes and then turned and left without a word. Clarke stepped closer to Kane.

"What are you doing here? Have you spoken to her? What do you want from us?"

Kane rubbed his chin with one hand.

"I perform my work with absolute discretion. I am not here to blackmail you or cause trouble Clarke. I'm just here to see your mother."

Clarke studied his eyes. He seemed genuine enough.

"Your secret is safe with me," he said in a low voice. "It's not my place though I am happy to see that you are still together. For some reason that ceremony stuck with me."

"What ceremony?" Abby said returning to the room.

Kane and Clarke both turned immediately realising they had been caught out. Abby narrowed her eyes.

"Clarke... what _ceremony_?"

Despite herself, her eyes darted to Lexa. Abby rushed over to her daughter half-stricken.

"If there's something I should know tell me now or so help me Clarke I will-"

Clarke knew that she wasn't going to get out of this one. Her mother had a right to know and she would keep pushing until she learned the truth. She lifted up her sleeve to reveal the tattoo. Her mother's eyes widened.

"Who did you marry Clarke? Who is it?"

Clarke turned to Lexa who was clearly struggling to keep her composure. She stepped back and stood beside Lexa. Green eyes stared at her, searching, questioning what she should do.

"It's okay. Show her."

Lexa lifted up her sleeve, trembling slightly unable to meet Abby's eyes.

Her mother was stunned, her eyes darting between the pair in disbelief.

"Y-you can't. You married _Lexa_."

She turned to Kane suddenly.

"You _knew_ ," she said in accusation. "And you didn't tell me."

Kane met her eyes.

"It's part of the deal with my clients. It's kept secret."

"You said that half of your clients were drunk when they got married."

She noticed Clarke avoiding her eyes.

"Clarke, were you _drunk_?"

"It's not what you think. We're together."

Lexa turned her head to Clarke at the words. Abby just seemed dumbfounded.

"I can't believe this. How could you _not_ tell me?"

Clarke stepped forward.

"I can explain but no one can know. Can we talk in private?"

Clarke glanced back at Lexa. Lexa nodded silently giving her permission to tell her mother the truth about their situation.

Clarke turned back and followed her mother to a private room, closing the door behind them.

"Okay I'll listen but this better be good."

Her mother folded her arms and Clarke grimaced.

"So, Lexa is a princess and she was in an arranged marriage."

"I know that part."

"But what you don't know is how he treated her. He hurt her."

She saw her mother's expression soften at the new knowledge.

"Lexa's only attracted to women and her parents knew that. She tried to tell them that Darius was hurting her but they didn't care. They blamed her."

Her mother's arms dropped to her sides.

"Their own child."

Clarke nodded.

"They are not good people. We met in Polis and we just had a connection and we-."

Her mother waved her hand and grimaced to say that she really didn't want to know.

"They isolated her," Clarke told her. "Made her think that there was something wrong with her. Mother I had to get her away from him. He was dangerous."

Her mother had calmed now.

"Is that why you married her? To protect her?"

Clarke shook her head and her mother began to understand.

"You said that you're together."

"We are," Clarke told her. "I wanted to marry her. We were drunk and got carried away but I want to be with her. If anyone finds out everyone would know about her sexuality and she's not ready for that."

Her mother moved closer.

"I get it. You're just keeping her safe but Clarke secrets don't stay secret for long. People will find out eventually and when they do..."

"I know," Clarke replied. "But I can't let her go. I tried."

Her mother nodded.

"Last year. We all noticed how miserable you were."

"I had to let her figure things out but I didn't wanted to leave her. I love her, mother."

Her mother pulled her into her arms.

"Oh Clarke, I would've understood. I'm just happy for you. That's all I ever wanted."

Her mother brushed her hair back from her face.

"I won't say a word and I'll apologise to Lexa for my behaviour. She is family now I guess."

Clarke beamed at her mother's words. She had thought that she would be angry or would tell her that she was being foolish.

"I'd appreciate that. She really wanted to make a good impression on you and she thinks that you don't like her."

"I didn't like her when I thought you were sleeping with a married woman. I didn't know that it was you she was married to or what here previous husband was like. We should arrange some time just for the three of us, so that we can get to know each other properly."

Clarke grinned at her mother, more than happy with the idea.

"And I'll give Kane a chance. I'm happy that you are moving on with your life. You deserve to be happy."

Her mother cupped her face.

"So do you Clarke. I know you don't think so but you do. Now go and comfort your wife. She's probably worried to death out there."

Her mother kissed her forehead. Clarke moved to leave glancing back at warm smile on her mother's face, a deep sense of relief washing over her.

 _At least I don't have to worry about that anymore_ thought Clarke. _She took that better than I expected._

  
Lexa lifted her head nervously, as soon as Clarke and her mother reappeared. The pair were smiling and she took that as a good sign but she was still trembling a little.

Abby walked up to her and drew her into a hug.

"I'm sorry I was so rude. I had no idea. You are welcome in Arkadia any time."

Lexa wasn't sure what to say. She bowed her head shyly.

"Thank you Abigail Griffin. I appreciate your words and apologise for keeping this secret from you. It was not my intention to be disrespectful."

Abby smiled and glanced at Clarke.

"Oh, so she's always this polite. You can call me Abby. We're family now. Come now. Let us both talk some more. Marcus, the meal is ready. I will be along in a few moments."

  
"I'll show him to the dining area," Clarke offered.

She watched her mother lead Lexa away, talking to her about events from Clarke's childhood with joy. She had never expected this but she was glad, so glad that her mother wanted to get to know Lexa.

_Family. She had called her family._

 

 

 

 

 


	43. Collusion and Closets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa return home only to find themselves in an awkward situation. The Queen colludes with an enemy and Clarke does a bit of DIY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut in this chapter. I don't know if the term wardrobe is used in other English speaking countries but a wardrobe is the same as a closet.

Clarke and Lexa had spent weeks in Arkadia enjoying each other's company. When the time came for Lexa to return to Polis, the future seemed uncertain. They set off to Polis together not sure how long they could keep up the constant journeys.

As their coach set off, Bellamy chased after them but missed them. In his hand was a late message from Wells.

It was getting late. They had set off much later than they'd intended, Lexa's mother insistent they both have lunch before they leave and dragging the conversation with them out as long as she could.

"Where is everyone?" Clarke asked, when they reached Polis. The palace was oddly quiet with only a few guards watching it.

They checked a few rooms and found no one else.

  
"Guess it's just you and me huh? Wanna have some fun princess?"

Lexa beamed and nodded, letting Clarke take her hand and they headed straight for Lexa's room.

"I've missed this room," Clarke muttered kissing down the side of Lexa's neck as she sat on the bed with the princess straddling her.

Lexa mumbled in agreement too busy enjoying the sensation. Clarke lay back pulling her down with her and they kissed and began to undress each other slowly.

"I've missed our nights out at the club too. Arkadian night life is pretty limited."

Lexa tilted her head bringing the lips together as Clarke traced her fingers along her neck and down her shoulders. She seemed to lost in what she was doing to respond though Clarke knew that she was still listening. They were both half dressed now, Clarke wearing only pants and a bra while Lexa's black dress was untied at the nape and revealing her shoulders.

 

They both heard unfamiliar voices and jumped suddenly.

Clarke put a finger to her lips and crept towards the door opening it just enough to check the hallway. She could hear voices, very posh voices moving along the next hallway towards them. One she recognised as Lexa's mother, the others Nia and Darius.

"Lexa is still away in Arkadia. I have the key to her room," the Queen advised.

"Good. We will find something incriminating and then she will have to marry my son whether they like it or not."

Nia's voice was distinctive and sharp.

"Quick. In the wardrobe."

Clarke grabbed their clothes and they both climbed into the large wardrobe, their bodies pressed tightly against each others. It was just large enough for them both to fit, Clarke behind Lexa, gripping her waist to steady her. Clarke raised a finger to her lips and they both remained still, the only sound their uneven breathing as the adrenaline surged through them.

The door unlocked and Nia and the Queen began to search. They would find nothing. Clarke had made sure of that when they'd packed. She was a little insulted that they thought her dumb enough to leave incriminating evidence in Lexa's bedroom.

They heard the two women searching through drawers, checking under the bed. The pair could only hope that no one checked the wardrobe.

"There's nothing here," Nia said in frustration.

"I should check the wardrobe. There may be something hidden there."

The Queen had her hands on the handle of the wardobe as they hid there. Lexa closed her eyes and swallowed while Clarke readied herself for the impending drama. Clarke's body was pressed tightly against Lexa's back as she gripped her the princesses hips and they remained motionless.

"Don't bother," Nia snapped. "There's nothing here. We must find something else."

The Queen moved away from the wardrobe and the pair left the room locking it behind them. The both sighed and Clarke opened the doors and helped her climb out.

"That was close. So your mother has decided to work with Nia."

Lexa glanced at her.

"What do we do?"

Clarke brushed the sides of Lexa's arms.

"I'll deal with it. Leave it to me."

Lexa stared into those confident blue eyes. Clarke always seemed so certain. She knew that the blonde thought ahead, planned out every potential scenario and how it would unfold. She was a master at it.

"Clarke, you can't stay here tonight. She has a key."

"I'll fix it," she replied. "Give me ten minutes."

She pulled her top on and exited the room.

  
Anya and Raven were in Raven's workshop in the palace of Polis. The brunette was covered in oil, smears on her forehead and arms and Anya had her up sitting the counter running her hands over her body as they made out heatedly.

They were suddenly interrupted by the door slamming open and a blonde whirlwind walking in.

"Hey. I'm just borrowing something. Don't mind me."

Anya's hands held Raven in place as they both turned to see what was happening.

"Clarke? When did you get back?"

"Today. Talk later."

Raven and Anya watched as she picked up a few things and exited without another word.  
They glanced at each other wondering what the hell was going on.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Raven.

"That Clarke is acting strange?"

"No. That we should make a do not disturb sign for the door."

"Would it stop Clarke from entering?"

Raven thought about this.

"Probably not. She's very single-minded when she's on a mission. She'd ignore it."

Anya lowered her eyes, smirking and then returned to making out with her girlfriend not caring that the oil was smudging her own skin too.

  
When Clarke returned she was holding a hammer, nails and what looked like a door bolt. Clarke hammered the piece of metal to Lexa's bedroom door with single focus. Once she was done she turned around and showed Lexa that she could life the bolt to open the door.

"There see. You can lock it from the inside. No problem."

Clarke appeared so matter of a fact and for some reason Lexa found her even more irresistable after watching her hammering her door. She became lost in her thoughts as Clarke tested the bolt a few times with absolute focus bending down a little, with her back to Lexa.

"It's a bit out of place but I'll paint it for you later so that it matches the door."

Clarke turned to find Lexa staring at her curvacious body.

"Lexa," she said, gesturing as she spoke, "my eyes are up here."

The princess snapped out of it, realising she was caught out.

"I-I was just..."

Clarke chuckled and stepped forward brushing Lexa's hair back from her shoulders. She raised her eyes, biting her lip seductively.

"Maybe we should finish what we started earlier, now that the door is secure."

Lexa was caught up in staring at that cute freckle on her upper lip. Her top lip always curved up, her bottom one jutted out. It was as if she was transfixed by those lips and that freckle, that cute, dark...

She leaned in before she knew what she was doing, slipping her hand around the back of Clarke's head to draw her closer. Their lips connected and it was heaven. Lexa thought she would never get used to this. They had kissed many times before but sometimes she caught herself staring at Clarke thirstier for her than she had even been for anyone.

They climbed the bed, beginning to shed their clothes again carrying on where they left off.

"Hopefully we won't be interrupted this time," Clarke muttered as she pulled back the covers for Lexa to climb in. "It's really good to be home."

The princess beamed at her deliberate use of the word and they both climbed under the covers kissing slowly. Clarke rolled Lexa over and ran her hand up Lexa's thigh. She slipped her fingers between her legs.

"Hmmm.... looks like you hated the interruption too."

Clarke wore a satisfied smile, trailing her fingers along the edges of her clitoris, circling it slowly. She kept her gaze on Lexa , watching her reactions as she teased her.

It was beautiful watching her respond to her touch, closing her eyes, tilting her head back on the pillow. She leaned over Lexa and pressed her mouth against her collarbone kissing upwards along the side of her neck while still moving her fingers in slow, teasing circles and dragging it down into the wetness below and back up to the top. She kissed underneath Lexa's jaw, sucking on her pulse point, cradling her head with her right hand while her left continued its ministrations.

Lexa let out a light moan and Clarke continued to kiss along the soft skin, moving down her collarbone and to her breast to kiss them slowly. She placed her mouth over an erect nipple tasting it, sucking it before moving to the other to lavish it with equal attention before trailing back up to Lexa's sculpted jawline one kiss at a time.

Lexa's breathing was getting heavier as Clarke swiped her thumb over her clitoris, slipping her finger inside her slowly, all the while moving her lips on her neck. Lexa's hips lifted from the bed of their own accord but Clarke steadied her with her right hand. Soon Lexa was losing control underneath her and she sped up her pace until the princess practically whimpered beneath her.

Clarke let her come down slowly and watched Lexa's rapid breathing begin to calm and her body relax. She withdrew carefully and lay down beside her tugging her closer. Lexa wrapped her arms around her waist and her head into her side and fell fast asleep. Clarke shook her head with a smile.

"Every time," she muttered to herself. "She falls asleep every time."

It was a good thing Clarke took it as a compliment that she had done her job well and was being well satisfied when it was her turn. She closed her eyes, her arms around Lexa to hold her warm body close and let herself drift off.

 

 

 


	44. A Lesson Learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke teases Lexa as she gets ready and they share a domestic moment. Lincoln tells Clarke about the Reapers and Ontari meets her match when Clarke decides to support Lexa by showing up to her daily lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some discussion of PTSD symptoms but minimal and depicts some verbal bullying behaviour. 
> 
> Also has some minor hair porn involving the brushing of a certain's Princesses phenomenal hair.

"Stop it Clarke."

Lexa giggled as her pretty wife tickled her stomach as she got dressed for her daily lessons. Clarke was still in bed, with the covers over her as the princess sat dressed on the bed, brushing her hair. The blonde seemed to be in a very playful mood and kept tickling Lexa to distract her. She had pulled Lexa back to bed twice already not seeming to want to let her go on this particular morning.

"Lessons are boring. Stay here with me."

She turned around and raised an eyebrow at Clarke. They both knew that she was going to her lessons today and that Clarke was just in a playful mood. Lexa had already made it up to her for falling asleep without satisfying her the night before and it seemed to have put her wife in a very good mood to have woken up to Lexa's undivided attention. 

"I wish I could stay with you but I have missed too many," Lexa replied, trying to get the knots from her hair with difficulty. "How did the handmaidens do this every day? My hair is exceptionally difficult to manage."

Clarke pushed a few strands back from Lexa's face.

"Want me to brush it? I mean I would like to brush it. I like your hair."

Lexa observed her and then handed her the brush. Clarke sat up behind her, letting the covers slip a little lower and started to ease out the tangles from the bottom until the brush glided smoothly through. Lexa sat quietly, kind of enjoying the domesticity as Clarke happily brushed through the strands humming a low tune to herself.

"I didn't know that you could sing," Lexa said softly.

"I don't very often. I mean I haven't in a long time."

"Why did you stop?"

Clarke paused for a second.

"I just didn't feel much like singing when everything around me was going to hell."

She continued brushing Lexa's soft, thick hair, running her fingers through it every now and then in admiration of it.

"You haven't had nightmares for some time."

"No, it's getting better. I still get flashes and memories and certain things still take me back there but I have you and I spend more time thinking about our future now."

Clarke finished what she was doing and placed the brush down on the bed.

"There, all done. You'll be the prettiest princess there as always."

Lexa smiled to herself.

"And the least dull," Clarke muttered wryly. "I don't know how you stand sitting in there listening to them talk about dresses and suitors and what their future kids might look like. It's mind-numbing."

Lexa turned to give her a look.

"What? I'm just not really into all that traditionally girlie stuff. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. I'm just saying, personally, it bores me."

As Clarke spoke she realised Lexa's gaze had dropped lower and grinned.

"Hey, you might try not to stare at the other princesses boobs in your lessons today like you are mine. Might just give your secret away."

Lexa raised an eyebrow but took a few seconds before she tore her eyes away to meet Clarke's.

"I'm assuming that they won't be topless Clarke so I'll be fine."

"Oh you think you're funny do you! I'll show you funny."

Clarke reached her hand around her side and started to tickle her mercilessly. Lexa fell helplessly on the bed giggling hysterically while making out of breath pleas for mercy. Clarke hovered over her when she finally stopped and they both wore large smiles as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Do you want me to swing by today for support?" Clarke asked. "I've got a few things to do first but I can come by before lunch."

She ucked Lexa's hair behind her ear tenderly.

"I know how they treat you," she added.

Lexa nodded shyly and blinked. Clarke leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips and released her hold on her. The princess stood up very formally going straight into what Clarke called her 'princess mode' but her eyes lingered on Clarke as she moved to go, her head still turned towards as she open the door.

"I'll see you before lunch. I'll look forward to it."

Clarke smiled at her. She kinda loved when Lexa became all formal yet still sweet at the same time.

"Me too," she replied. "And don't let them bother you. They don't know you, not really. They have no right to judge."

Her words stuck with Lexa as she left the room.

  
"You're back!" Octavia exclaimed when she saw Clarke enter the lavish lounge that Octavia, Raven and Lincoln liked to hang out in. "How was Bellamy?"

"He's good. Things are going well. He misses you though. Hey Lincoln, did your tribe ever encounter these so-called Reapers. I keep hearing rumours of them moving further south towards Azgeda."

Lincoln was sat on the sofa beside Octavia, his arms spread out along the top of it.

"Reapers were once warriors of the Mountain Men before Azgeda defeated them. They were like animals, with no thought or humanity. Few remain but those that do are mercenaries for hire. Though they are barely controllable and tend to be - extreme."

"How extreme?" Clarke asked.

"It is said that one reaper can take out ten soldiers alone but they are vulnerable to losing theirselves to rage and fight without thought."

Clarke frowned, considering what she should do with this new information.

"Nia must be planning to use them, likely for small raids. I'll make sure the surrounding villages of Polis are well fortified and send word to Wells if I can find him. Where is he by the way?"

"You didn't hear?" Octavia asked in surprise. "He says that he sent word to you. He left Anya in charge while he went off on some mission to arrange a meeting of all the rulers in all the lands. He means to-"

"Invite them all to a major trade alliance on the contingency that the peace is kept and all lands follow the agreed upon laws."

Octavia tilted her head.

"So you did get the letter?"

"No," Clarke replied. "But it's the next logical step for him. I know what he plans for the future of Polis. Thanks."

She turned and left leaving the couple exchanging perplexed looks between them.

"Are you sure she is with Lexa?" Lincoln asked. "They seem like very different people."

Octavia glanced at him.

"We overheard her. She's definitely with the Princess. It was weird. She was being all sweet. Clarke isn't normally like that at all."

Lincoln leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Must be love. Even the strongest of warriors cannot deny their heart for too long."

"I guess not," she replied. "But it's gonna cause a shit ton of trouble if anyone finds out the innocent, meek Princess of Polis is not so innocent and prefers chicks. Can't say I blame her though. Lexa is pretty hot."

Lincoln gave her a long stare.

"What! I'm just saying. I have eyes don't I? It doesn't mean anything."

Lincoln smiled as if he didn't quite believe her but said nothing.

  
Lexa was seated alone as usual, their chairs arranged in a semi circle, all of the other girls seating together while they left an empty chair on either side of her. The tutor was an elderly, stern man who said very little and only told them to list all the lands, the etiquette required for each cultural exchange and the guidelines for behaving appropriately at large, political events.

Lexa didn't need to listen. She already knew it all off by heart and wished she had listened to Clarke and remained with her.

The other princesses let out a series of giggles and gave Lexa a sideways glance deliberately as they did. She knew that they were discussing her. She remained still and tried to ignore them but being around them made her feel small and helpless. Only Clarke's words helped her to ignore them.

"Why would she refuse a political alliance with you brother? He's hot and dreamy."

"We all know _why_ ," Ontari sniggered. "We can't accuse her of it but we all know that something's wrong with her. She even gave up Darius."

"I heard that she could never please him and that's why he wanted to leave her."

"Well who wouldn't," Ontari said with a laugh, the rest of the girls laughing along with her at Lexa's expense.

Lexa lowered her eyes, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and then the door flung wide open and in walked her secret wife, her shoulders and chin raised as she strode into the room like she owned it.

The Princesses all stared at her. The tutor stared at her but Clarke ignored all of them and sat right beside Lexa.

"Hey," she whispered. "Did I miss anything important? Did they get to describing the five ways to curtsey yet or how you shouldn't tell some stuck up lord that you think he's an idiot who shouldn't even be in charge of a chicken coup."

Clarke's dry tone brough a large smile to her face and Lexa found herself thrilled at her presence and feeling suddenly much better.

The other princesses especially Ontari were whispered and staring at Clarke. Suddenly Ontari became bold.

"Why is _she_ here?" she asked the tutor. "She is not a royal. She isn't even of _noble_ birth."

Clarke didn't miss her emphasis on the word 'noble' and the deliberate dig at her less affluent background.

"I thought that maybe I should learn all this stuff given my lack of nobility. Us commoners need all the help we can get. Don't you agree Ontari?"

She could practically feel Lexa's amusement. They both knew that Clarke didn't care one bit for etiquette unless it suited her purpose. The tutor eyed her warily. Many feared her reputation and he was likely well versed on exactly how successful she had been at bringing down those who crossed her.

"Wanheda is the leader of Arkadia. She can attend any classes she wishes here in Polis."

His tone was polite but Clarke could see that he didn't like her and thought the same as Ontari. He was just smart enough not to say it openly. His mouth had become a thin line and he excused himself for a few moments instructing them to continue.

 _No doubt going to inform the Queen_ she thought. _He's not very subtle._

The princesses were very quiet, hushed around the legendary Wanheda but Ontari seemed to have her mother's cruel boldness but none of her strategic intelligence.

"Why are you sitting with _her_?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"Because we're friends and she actually has a brain. Also she's awesome and you're... well- how can I put this in a way you might understand- a vacuous bully who brings other people down out of sheer jealousy. I mean let's face it, in terms of intelligence, Lexa is probably one of the smartest person here."

Clarke tilted her head, fixing her eyes on Ontari's.

"Is that why she bothers you so much? Is that why you want to destroy her? Because her kindness and compassion show you the uglyness inside yourself and you can't stand it."

Ontari tensed, practically flinching at her words though she tried to hide her reaction. Clarke had hit a nerve. She'd long suspected Ontari's behaviour was out of jealousy but now she knew for sure. Clarke stared her down until she turned away pretending not to be bothered. Clarke didn't like doing that to someone but she couldn't stand to let them bully Lexa another minute.

Clarke turned to Lexa and started chatting as if everything was normal and she hadn't just silenced half the room. Lexa couldn't keep the grin off her face at seeing Ontari confronted on her behaviour for once.

She had endured it for so long but Clarke had stopped it in an instant and was now beside her making jokes about what she referred to as 'Arkadian party etiquette' which seemed to involve Raven trying to blow something up while drunk because she thought it would be 'badass and fun' and Clarke drinking from a cup with a coin in it.

Lexa didn't understand half of it and Clarke had to explain a lot but she couldn't stop smiling as she watched her talk and felt secure in a room with the other princesses in it for the first time in her life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	45. Drastic Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke becomes concerned when Lexa shows signs of illness and the King and Queen make a drastic move. Lexa gets angry and finally stands up to her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning some mention of drugs and trying to force someone under the influence to do something that they don't want to. Nothing sexual.

"Lexa?"

Clarke found Lexa in the library later that day at her favourite spot. They'd had lunch together and then Clarke had gone to find out more about the reapers. 

Lexa had fallen asleep again even though it was only early in the afternoon, her head resting on her arms on the table and Clarke shook her awake. Lexa lifted her head and concern flooded through Clarke as she noticed that she was a little paler than usual.

"Are you okay?"

Lexa met her eyes and gave her a brave smile but something seemed wrong.

"Yes. I just feel more tired than usual."

Clarke put the back of her hand to the princess' forehead. She was very warm and a little clammy.

"Lexa I think you should go to bed. You're running hot."

"I'll be fine. I'm expected to attend this afternoon in the throne room. My parents want to discuss an upcoming event with me."

Clarke accepted her decision but it still worried her. She had never seen Lexa ill before.

"If you're sure," she muttered.

"I'm fine," Lexa repeated collecting her books. "I better go. My mother is expecting my presence in the throne room."

She kissed Clarke on the cheek and headed off towards her mother.

  
Lexa had begun to think that Clarke was right and that she was unwell. She felt tired and a little muddled, as if she was in a haze.

"Mother?"

When she entered the throne room something was off. She was struggling to think clearly but here mother and father were standing beside Prince Roan who seemed completely out of it too. There was another rather official looking man there too that she didn't react.

"What is this?"

"Alexandria. We need this alliance."

"Wait, what?"

_No._

Lexa swayed but she tried to stay aware of what was happening.

_I won't._

"You are going to force me to marry him. You drugged me."

"It's for the best."

_She can't!_

Her mother led her to stand beside Prince Roan. Lexa pulled her arm away from her grip, determined that she would not let her do this again.

"No!"

The other man began to start the ceremony.

"No! I won't do it. I don't consent."

The other man glanced at the King. She knew that by law if she did not consent verbally he couldn't continue unless he wanted to risk being punished by Wells.

"Continue," the Queen demanded.

"I cannot. She _must_ agree or it will be unlawful."

Lexa pushed her mother away and began to stumble towards the door holding the side of her head. 

"You _will_ do this," her mother commanded.

Lexa felt herself giving in. She was so confused. It was as if she couldn't help but obey her. Then she thought of Clarke and what she would be losing and became even more stubborn. 

"I will never agree!" she yelled at her mother. "Never! Why can you not accept what I am! You will not control me anymore. I will not let you do this to me again. Why couldn't you ever love me? I am your daughter!"

 

Clarke had stared at the door after Lexa had left, deeply concerned for several minutes. When she lowered her head, deep in thought, and turned back to the table, she noticed an unusual white powder just underneath Lexa's chair and bent down. She rubbed the fine chalky substance through her fingers and tried to remember where she had seen it before. Then her eyes widened.

_Lexa!_

She ran towards the throne room at full speed, flying down the hallways, replaying memories of Raven telling her how it worked.

_The powder is so light, you can dust it on someone without them even knowing about it. As soon as it's released anyone who inhales it will be affected pretty quickly. The remains of the powder become inactive within a pretty short time but still affect the body for a day or two until it wears off. Makes it pretty untraceable to those who don't know of it.  
_

Clarke ran faster than she ever had before not stopping until she saw the familiar two lavish doors and burst through. She arrived just in time to see Lexa yelling at her mother and turning towards her. The Princess was barely able to focus at all.

"Clarke? I was just leaving."

"Alexandria, listen to what I'm saying. You must obey. We are you parents..."

Lexa still pressed one hand on the side of her head. Why did she want to do as she was told. It was as if she couldn't say no.

"I think you've done enough," Clarke said with a piercing glare.

She put one arm around the princess, guiding Lexa from the room and down the hallways.

"I think she's done something to me," Lexa mumbled. "My head. I could feel myself giving in."

"It was an old method used in some lands to make captured enemies more yielding to disclosing sensitive information and doing what they were told."

"They wanted to force me. It was so hard to ignore her words."

"Shhh. It's okay. You fought back. You resisted. It'll wear off and you'll be fine."

Clarke carefully guided her into their bedroom bolting the door behind them awkwardly with one hand. She helped Lexa to the bed and began to help her undress. 

"It was you. I didn't want to lose you."

Lexa seemed so upset and vulnerable that it was hard for Clarke to see her in such a state. She pushed away the fury thar she felt towards the Queen. She would deal with her later. For now she would be there for her wife.

"I'm right here," she said.

The Princess was so dazed and confused now that she fumbled and Clarke had to remove most of her clothes for her. Lexa just let her unable to do much for herself and Clarke hated that they had done this to her.

"Why do I feel so _cold_ all of a sudden? I was so hot earlier."

"It's one of the side effects," Clarke replied in a soft, low voice. "It increases your body temperature at first but then is drops rapidly."

Lexa shiveres and Clarke moved to get on of her old short-sleeved tops, a particularly thick, long blue one that she often slept in during the colder months. It was her favourite, and very comfortable.

"We need to keep you warm. Raise your arms," Clarke said.

Lexa did so immediately and she put Lexa's arms and head through the holes and let the top flutter down over her body. Lexa's hair had gotten trapped under the loose fabric so she freed it, untucking it and letting it drop down on either side of her face. She ran her fingers through it just above her forehead and pushed it back from her face. 

"Come on. Into bed."

Clarke pulled back the covers and helped Lexa to climb underneath. When she pulled back, Lexa reached for her forearm in panic and held on to it, her eyes wide.

"Why can't they just accept me? Why don't they love me as they should?"

Clarke's heart was breaking, tears pricking at her eyes. She held them back but inside she was furious and heartbroken for Lexa.

"Because they're not good people. I've tried to leave them alone for your sake because they're your parents but I don't know how much longer I can do that."

Lexa was looking up at her with those deep, green eyes.

"Stay," she said suddenly

It reminded Clarke of when Lexa had asked her that before. It was the first thing she has truly asked Clarke for. It was the first time she had stayed all night with Lexa to wake up in her bed in the morning.

"I'll be right here. You can rest. You're safe."

Lexa relaxed her grip and let her arm go. She settled down and closed her eyes while Clarke pulled the covers up and tucked them in around her wife to make sure she was warm enough.

The Princess pulled the fabric of Clarke's top to her nose and breathed it in.

"It smells like you," she said, sounding calmer now.

Clarke sat beside her on the bed continously running her fingers through Lexa's hair. She wanted to cry. She wanted to march right up to Lexa's parents and murder them. She knew that she had to be smarter than that but this changed things. She would make sure that this never happened again.

She leaned in and tenderly kissed her wife's forehead.

"I love you. I promise that I won't ever let them do this to you again."

Clarke had never truly believed that they would go so far but what had happened hit her like a cold shower in the face. She wouldn't underestimate them again. If they wanted Wanheda they would get her. She had been holding back out of respect for Lexa but they had proved that they didn't care for her at all, only for their own power and she would never ever forgive them for it.

Clarke stayed sitting up with Lexa all night just playing with her hair and caressing her face as she slept. She could have lost her to them. It was a shock to her system. She would have climbed in beside Lexa and slept with her in her arms but she couldn't relax, unable to stop thinking about what could have happened if Lexa hadn't resisted. 

 

 


	46. Breakfast in Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Roan wakes up and questions his loyalties after the incident. Clarke covers for Lexa at breakfast and brings her breakfast in bed. The pair share and intimate moment and serious discussion about Lexa's parents and their motives.

 

Prince Roan woke up in Azgeda having been taken home by his mother while he was passed out. He was groggy and slow but his mind formed the events in order. He had been left on a hard bench, his mother not even having him put into his own bed.

He was in her strategy room surrounded by maps and documents. The doors opened and his mother walked in regally.

"You've woken?" she remarked as if nothing had happened.

Did she expect me to have forgotten he thought bitterly.

He had always been loyal to his mother, always followed her orders. In his heart he had believed that on some level she cared about him but he didn't believe that anymore.

"No thanks to you. You tricked me. You drugged me."

Nia dismissed his words immediately with a sneer.

"If you had obeyed me in the first place I wouldn't have had to do it. It was your failure to secure her hand that forced me to act decisively."

"So you tried to force us both? When she was unwilling? You are unbelievable."

His mother merely turned her back on him.

"Someone had to act for the good of Azgeda when you didn't have the stomach to do it yourself."

Roan shook his head. He'd had enough. She no longer deserved his loyalty. He slinked away silently, thinking of his future in Azgeda and if he even had one. His mother showed no remorse or care for her actions at all.

  
Clarke left Lexa reluctantly the next morning, the princess still in a heavy sleep.

She made her way to breakfast locking the door behind her, not wanting to tear herself away from Lexa for very long.

"Morning Clarke," Raven said cheerfully.

Anya and Raven were already there. Lincoln and Octavia had stayed with the refugees and Luna the night before. The King and Queen were absent and Clarke eyed the door, uneasy that they weren't there for her to keep an eye on.

Eventually they entered and sat down across from Clarke and the other two women. Clarke met the Queen's eyes and gave her a murderous look. Even just being in the same room with her riled her up.

"Where's Lexa?" Raven asked.

"You should address her as Princess Al-"

"You shut your mouth," Clarke snapped at the Queen. "You've done enough."

Raven and Anya shared a look not sure what the hell was happening. Clarke turned her head to answer Raven's question.

"She's not feeling so good. I don't think you'll see her today."

Clarke didn't explain how she knew that. If they wondered they never asked.

"She's not?" Anya asked with concern. "She never gets ill. Maybe I should check on her."

"I'll do it after breakfast. Don't worry. She'll be better in no time."

She could practically feel Anya's suspicions grow but she just acted as if everything was normal and they said nothing more.

"Clarke's mother Abby has medical training and Clarke had to patch a lot of us up during the wars in some pretty dangerous conditions. We were lucky she had the knowledge she did."

The blonde smiled a little but couldn't feel cheerful after what had happened.

"I didn't always succeed," she said, with a note of sadness.

"You did all you could do. All anyone could do. We were lucky to have you."

Clarke smiled at her warmly. She was grateful that Raven was there.

"Tell Lexa to get better soon and that me and An were asking after her."

"I will. Thanks."

 

When Lexa awoke it was to the sound of a key turning in the lock of her door. She jerked awake, staring at the door in slight panic knowing that if Clarke wasn't in the room, the door was unlikely to be bolted. She held her breath, expexting the worst but when it opened, she saw a glimmer of blonde hair and knew that she was safe.

"Hey. I brought you some breakfast."

Clarke was balancing a silver serving tray in one hand as she entered bolting the door behind her.

Lexa exhaled in relief as Clarke laid the tray down on the bed beside her and lifted the silver cover to reveal a simple bowl of stew

"You remembered."

Lexa had eaten this particular stew in Arkadia during her visit. It had become one of her favourites despite being less rich than the food she was used to eating. Arkadian food had a reputation for being bland and awful but she had found it suprisingly very good.

"I can't cook very well but I know enough to survive and this is one meal I can make."

Lexa sat up slowly and Clarke put two pillows up behind her back and one on her lap. She placed the tray carefully in front of her. Lexa picked up the spoon and took a mouthful of the stew. She felt incredibly hungry and closed her eyes and moaned as she ate.

"This is delicious. Thank you. You didn't have to go to any trouble."

"It wasn't any trouble. Anyway how are you feeling today?"

Clarke touched her arm and leaned forward as she spoke. She seemed more worried than Lexa had ever seen, her blue eyes clouded over with concern.

"It hurts," Lexa replied shovelling spoonfuls of the stew down as if she hadn't eaten in days.

"Your head?"

"No everywhere."

Lexa tilted her head and rotated one shoulder trying to relieve the discomfort there.

"My muscles ache all over and my neck and shoulders are incredibly stiff."

Clarke rubbed a hand along the back of her neck soothingly.

"Do you want me to massage them for you? Might ease it a little."

Lexa nearly dropped her spoon, turning her head slowly towards light blue eyes gazing at her with absolute tenderness.

"You can finish your breakfast. Here."

Clarke urged Lexa to move forward and positioned herself sitting up on her knees behind her. She helped her to take the blue, baggy top of and began to knead her naked shoulders, slowly massaging the muscles with her hands.

Lexa closed her eyes, forgetting about her breakfast altogether and moaning as Clarke's hands did wonderful things to her.

"You're very good at that," Lexa muttered, wondering how many other hidden talents her wife had. "I mean _really_ good."

Clarke was running her hands up and down the back of her neck now and kneading out the tension with her thumbs. Her hands were so soft and Lexa exhaled deeply feeling a sense of relief and satisfaction that just made everything a million times better.

"Really, really good. Uhh..."

Clarke grinned, leaning into her ear.

"I take it you're enjoying this. I've heard you make those sounds before in _other_ circumstances _."_

God, even the feeling of Clarke's breath tickling her ear was doing heavenly things to her.

"Please don't stop. This feels incredible."

"I've heard that before too," Clarke teased, moving to massage her lower back with her thumbs."

She heard Lexa let a sigh of contentment and carried on for a few minutes. When she stopped Lexa opened her eyes and turned her head in protest.

"Not enough?" Clarke asked in amusement.

"Not _nearly_ enough," Lexa muttered, fatigue making more impatient than usual.

She continued the massage and Lexa turned away again and closed her eyes with another sigh, deeply enjoying whatever it was that Clarke was doing to her.

"I could let you do this forever," Lexa uttered.

"I don't think my hands would last forever if you did."

Lexa opened her eyes thinking deeply about her words.

"Are your hands hurting? Do you need to rest them?"

"No," Clarke said softly. "I like doing this for you."

Lexa didn't reply but smiled, turning her head back a little.

"Thank you."

"For what."

"For taking care of me. For coming to my rescue."

Clarke ran her fingers along the back of her shoulders working out the kinks there.

"You didn't need much help. You saved yourself this time. You stood up to them. I'm so proud of you."

Lexa lowered her head, still tilting it towards Clarke.

"There is no saving our relationship. They really care nothing for me."

Clarke took in a breath, thinking seriously about it.

"I think that they care more about theirselves and their reputation than you. I don't think they're even capable of love."

"I used to think that it was my fault, that if I just did what they wanted and bore my duty as they asked it would please them. I thought that if I was normal. If I could just feel something for a man they would love me as they should."

Clarke frowned and brushed Lexa's hair away to one side.

"There's nothing wrong with you. They lied. The fault was always with them. It makes me so angry that they made you believe that. You've done nothing wrong. Don't ever let them tell you different."

She moved to Lexa's side and cupped her face with both hands.

"Listen, I love you. You are _amazing_. You were always amazing. I knew that from the first second I met you. Everyone else was just too blind to see it."

Lexa blinked rapidly as if to hold back her emotions.

"What will you do to them?" she asked in a whisper.

Clarke gazed at her sympathetically. However bad they were Lexa still didn't want to see them truly hurt. She had no malice in her heart at all even towards those who hurt her.

"I don't know yet but I'll think of something. After this, I can't let them stay in their positions here. I'll need to find a way to deal with that without it affecting the alliance."

Lexa leaned closer and wrapped her arms around Clarke, tucking her head in. She was still feeling very vulnerable but Clarke could see that she was going to be okay and for the first moment that day she felt her worry for Lexa subside.

She pulled back slowly.

"Now, I'm going to go and get a few things I need to work on today and bring them in here. You can rest as much as you want and I'll be right over in the chair if you need me."

Lexa nodded gratefully and Clarke slipped away from her embrace to go and get her things.

The Princess sighed and grabbed the blue top back pulling it over her head and stretching her arms through the sleeves. She buried her nose in the fabric and inhaled Clarke's scent. She decided that she would go back to sleep as soon as Clarke was back in her room.

Somehow accepting that her parents were never going to be good people relieved the pressure from her. She no longer felt the need to please them. Their opinions didn't even matter to her anymore.

 


	47. Wanheda Unleashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke loses her temper and acts without thinking while Anya and Lexa have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains some PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks. I suffer from the condition and so this is how I tend to experience it mentally, omitting some of the physical symptoms but I've found that grounding really does help.

Clarke Griffin was on a mission. She marched down the hall in the early evening as Lexa still recovered with single purpose. She knew that the Queen would be going to having supper right now and that the King always skipped supper. As she entered the dining room she barely noticed Anya and Raven were the first to arrive.

Clarke faced the door, her back to her friends, her fists clenched, ignoring their greetings. The Queen entered and walked past her as if she wasn't there.

"Are you okay?" Raven asked, as those blue eyes followed the Queen's movements.

She surged forward and attacked the queen pushing her up against the wall and produced a knife.

"Clarke!"

Anya and Raven tried to pull her off but struggled. Clarke had almost twenty four hours of pent up rage within her. She had kept it together for Lexa but now it was unleashed with full force and the Queen was the only one in her sights.

"I'll kill you," Clarke rasped, leaning in closer as Anya wrestled the knife from her.

The pair finally dragged her back, Anya retrieving the knife from her and slipping it in her back pocket.

"Clarke, what are you doing!!"

Raven tried to reason with her but Clarke never turned her gaze from the Queen. She rushed forward again to grab her, resisting as her friends pulled her back.

"Ask _her_! Ask her what she did to Lexa."

The Queen raised her head giving her an irate, sideways glance. She was unsteady but she seemed to stubbornly refuse to show her fear.

"I will have you thrown in the dungeons."

"You do that and I'll make sure you're in a cell beside me!"

Raven and Anya held her back, dragging her out of the room as she continued to shout threats to the Queen.

They held her against a wall trying to calm her.

"Let me go," Clarke snapped, shrugging them off.

"What's got into you. What did she do?" Raven asked.

Clarke began to calm, regaining her composure. She had to be smarter. Attacking her outright wouldn't achieve anything constructive.

"Ask the Queen," Clarke said before turning and walking away.

Raven watched her friend walk away barelt recognising her in that moment. Clarke was always so level-headed. She always thought ahead. She'd never seen her be so reckless.

"What was that about?" Raven asked. "First Darius and now the Queen."

Anya narrowed her eyes, still staring down the corridor.

"What did she mean about Lexa? What did she do?"

"I don't know. Why don't we ask her."

"I have a better idea."

Anya marched off down the hall and Raven shook her head as she watched her go. Between Clarke losing it, Anya's worry for her friend and Lexa's mysteriousness, it was all drama in Polis.

  
Clarke stormed down the hallway towards Lexa's room, her head swimming. She was full of anger but she had been stupid. If Anya reported her to Wells, it could break the alliance. She had put the lives of her people at risk. The image of the battle, of having to fight again like she had haunted her, threatening to drag her back into that place she had left behind.

_No. That's gone. It won't happen again. You are not still on that battlefield._

She opened the door and crawled onto the bed as Lexa lifted her head in surprise and wrapped herself around Lexa's waist, curling up to rest on her stomach.

She knew that Lexa wanted to ask what was wrong but somehow she knew not to. Clarke closed her eyes grounding herself to the present and to the warmth and security of her love. Lexa rested her hand on the side of Clarke's head, stroking her hair softly. She felt Clarke hug her tighter as if she was trying to hold onto her as much as possible.

"Lexa. What the hell has your mother done now? Clarke just nearly killed h-."

Anya had jogged into to her room but stopped in her tracks as she saw the position they were both in. Lexa raised her head, her eyes wide and Clarke sat up and turned her head away, wiping away the tears from her eyes and sitting up with her back to Anya. It was the first time Lexa had known her to forget to lock the door.

"I'll go," Clarke said, roughly wiping her face with her palm. "You two can talk."

Lexa reached for her but she was already leaving.

"Wait, Clar-."

She walked past Anya without even looking at her, closing the door behind her.

Lexa sighed and sat up, propping her pillow up behind her as Anya moved to stand beside her bed.

"She was upset," Lexa began to explain. "She just needed comforting..."

"Lexa, I know. I heard you talking about the marriage ages ago. I have told no one."

The princess furrowed her eyebrows but gave up knowing that she wasn't going to be able to lie anymore to her. Anya sat down beside her carefully.

"What did she do? You mother? Why was Clarke so mad?"

"She used something on me. A white powder to make me obedient to her will. Clarke says it was once used on captured soldiers."

Anya frowned.

"I've heard of it. Why would she do that? Are you sure that's what it was?"

"Yes," Lexa replied.

"But why?"

"To make me marry Prince Roan. They did the same to him but I resisted."

There was shock in Anya's eyes. It was rare anything shocked the warrior but what the Queen had done was highly illegal.

"No wonder she was furious. I could kill her myself."

"Last year when you asked me about the girl that I was pining for. It was Clarke."

Anya nodded.

"I guessed. I know it's probably too late for this but you know how these leaders can be. Are you sure that this isn't some political scheme."

Lexa met her eyes with fierce determination.

"I'm sure. We met when she was invited to Polis. The first night we met, we just couldn't stay apart. Clarke tried. Told me to find other people and figure out what I wanted."

"Is that why you kept going, to that club to find other people?"

She shook her head.

"It was our place. We would sneak out and go to that room to spend time alone. My parents, Darius... everyone wanted to keep me locked away. Clarke always asked me what I wanted and she always trusts my decision. I love her."

"I can see that. From her reaction today I'm sure she does feel the same. I support your decision. I will stand behind you both. I was just concerned."

There was a moment of silence between them before Anya spoke again.

"I still can't believe you are married. You aren't wearing a ring so I guessing you have a tattoo somewhere."

Lexa lifted her sleeve with a pleased smile and showed off the inside of her right wrist.

"It suits you. What's W and H?"

"Wanheda and Heda."

Anya's eyes widened.

"Wait Heda from her books. Damn."

Anya shook her head. Raven had been right again. She was going to be incredibly smug when she found out and she'd never hear the end of it.

_Damn that amazing woman and her incredibly hot intellect._

She noticed that Lexa was raising one eyebrow unsure what was going through Anya's mind now.

"We have to do something about your parents," Anya said. "I assume that they both did this."

Lexa nodded but her gaze was far away.

"Clarke will deal with it."

Anya began to protest.

"Like she did today. She was totally out of control."

Lexa turned to her.

"She'll deal with it. Trust her."

Anya seemed unsure but she agreed with a slight bow of the head seeing Lexa's absolute certainty and belief in her wife's capabilities.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yes. Clarke has been bringing me food and sitting in here all day. She even put a bolt on my door the other day when we realised my mother had a key."

Anya got to her feet towering over Lexa now. She could be quite imposing but Lexa had never feared her for she knew that she had a good heart.

"I'll leave you to rest. You look tired and I know that stuff really takes it out of people."

"I am feeling better but I could easily go back to sleep."

Anya smiled a little and then turned to go.

  
Clarke hovered outside the doorway nervously. Anya definitely knew their secret. The number of people who knew seemed to increase all the time. She had to think of how to handle this. She had to plan for their options.

Anya exited the room closing the door. When she saw Clarke there she lifted her head in acknowledgment.

"I'm guessing Lexa told you everything."

"Yes," Anya replied. "Although I'd already figured out the half of it. So..."

Anya moved to face her in an almost intimidating manner, her hard gaze piercing through Clarke. Of all the people Clarke knew Anya was one of the most difficult to read. She gave very little away in terms of her body language on the whole unless she deliberately wanted to.

"What are we going to do about her parents? They can't get away with it."

"Leave it to me," Clarke said. "I'll handle it."

She was about to turn away when Anya spoke again.

"You know that if she hadn't resisted. If the ceremony had succeeded, she would have been guilty of bigamy. It carries quite a severe sentence in Polis."

Clarke lifted her head, struggling with the warring emotions within her.

"I know," she said in a low voice. "That's why I have to deal with her. She put Lexa at risk."

Anya lifted her chin recognising the sentiment for what it meant. She would have reacted the same if someone put Raven's safety at risk. Hell she probably would have killed both of them and happily went to the dungeons if it kept her safe. That was the moment she believed that Clarke loved her back. No one could fake that sort of emotion. Not even Wanheda and Clarke had been curled up into her side as if her life depended on it.

"You have flashbacks of the battle," Anya remarked.

Clarke raised her eyes to meet Anya's expectantly.

"Many soldiers do. I've seen it before. It helps to remind yourself of the present and that the event is over. It may feel as if it's not but it is."

"It's getting better," Clarke said quietly. "She helps. She's so full of goodness even after what happened. I just don't want her to ever have to deal with that level of darkness again."

"That's why she wouldn't train. Clarke I know that you want to preserve her innocence but her safety is more important."

Clarke swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

"I know. I told her that it's her choice if she wants to learn but that I couldn't do it. It's really up to her."

Anya seemed to be regarding her with respect now.

"I understand. I will say nothing to Raven until you are both ready but she is not a fool. She will figure out your secret eventually."

The warrior woman turned away and left and Clarke returned to the room and to Lexa, still a little embarrassment at being caught crying.

"Clarke are you okay? You rushed out of here. I had to tell Anya. She already knew."

Her lip quirked up at the corners. Lexa's nervous babbling was adorable.

"I'm better now," she said bolting the door. "I just needed you."

The princess smiled and pulled back the covers on Clarke's side of the bed in invitation. Clarke smiled back, undressed and clamboured in beside her putting her arms around Lexa's upper body and resting her head on Lexa's collarbone.

"You're still wearing my top," Clarke muttered softly.

"I like it. It's comfortable."

Lexa turned her head towards Clarke's, their eyes meeting as the blonde gazed up at her.

"It smells like you," she added.

"Keep it," Clarke told her. "It suits you. For some reason I like the thought of you waring my clothes."

"Hmmm..." Lexa replied with her eyes closed now, shifting her head to settle against the light blonde hair brushing against her chin.

"Goodnight," Clarke whispered.

"Goodnight."

Lexa fell asleep with Clarke in her arms, a smile on her face and her heart full of love for the blonde she was holding. As long as she had this everything was alright.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	48. Behind the Curtain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a much better day together and get carried away and a missed message ends up causing more trouble than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the great messages. The story probably only has a few chapters left but I have an idea already for another AU and still have an idea for Battle Lines 3 at some point. Contains some minor smut.
> 
> Trigedasleng Translation
> 
> Chilla Leksa. Yu ste klir ai hodness - Calm down Lexa. You are safe my love.
> 
> Clarke uses this phrase as if to say 'stay calm' 
> 
> Sha Klarke. Ai wich yu in. - Yes Clarke. I trust you. 
> 
> This is Lexa acknowledging her trust that even though she is afraid, Clarke will not let anything happen to her.

Clarke and Lexa were both feeling much better the next day. Lexa was out of bed and back to her usual self and Clarke seemed to be much more relaxed once she was sure Lexa was back to normal.

They had had spent hours in the baths together and both still had wet hair.

"Mmmm... you smell nice," Clarke said, her nose buried into the side of Lexa's neck.

The Princess was drying her hair with a towel, leaning forward while Clarke lazily leaned on her, her head rested on Lexa's shoulder and one arm slipped around her waist.

"Thank you. So do you."

They were both still naked having just stepped out of the baths. Clarke slipped her hand a little lower teasingly and Lexa lifted her head but made no move to stop her. In fact when Clarke pulled her hand back, Lexa held it in place and guided it lower.

A few minutes later and they were both very much ready for more and sank down onto a few towels on the marble floor, Clarke on top of Lexa as their mouths moved together and their hands slipped between each others' bodies to pleasure each other. They orgasmed multiple times but when they were dressed and heading down the halls they were still giddy and aroused so Clarke pulled Lexa into a sideroom and started kissing under her jaw and moving lower. Lexa pulled Clarke's top over her head and palmed both of her breasts and Clarke slid her dress straps down to kiss along her shoulder.

  
_Earlier that day_

"Hmmm."

"What is it?"

Clarke lifted her head up. She was working at the dressing table in Lexa's room which she had commandeered as her new work desk for the moment. She was going through her messages for the day as Lexa lounged on her bed reading.

"Wells is supposed to be having a big meeting of all of the rulers soon but I haven't had another invitation letter after I missed the one in Arkadia. I better try to get a message to him to check when it's happening."

  
_Sometime in the early evening._

Clarke and Lexa were half dressed, Clarke in only her bra and pants while Lexa's dress was pushed up to her knees and her bare shoulders exposed. They hadn't made it back from their bath yet, instead still waylaid in some side room making out like they hadn't seen each other in years, instead of spending most of the day together.

Lexa moved backwards as Clarke pushed forward, expecting her back to hit a wall. She cupped Clarke's left breast as she moved but only found a curtain and a gap behind her. She shrieked and stumbled and Clarke grabbed her to stop her fall. Instead she fell with her, landing right on top of Lexa on a large, luxurious red, patterned rug.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked, her hands on Lexa's hips.

She noticed Lexa's lower lip trembling and something like fear in her eyes and knew all at once that she wasn't.

"Clarke," she whispered. "We are not alone."

Clarke lifted her head and saw that they were actually in the throne room not a side room and it was completely full of some of the most important people in all of the lands. The King, Prince Roan, all the delinquents, Wells and several other prominent rulers. Even Lincoln, Bellamy and Indra were there.

 

The throne room despite being full was absolutely silent. Lexa rushed to her feet and fixed her dress, blushing with deep embarrasment. Clarke stood up well aware how little clothing she was wearing and just how many people could see her cleavage but decided that since there was nothing she could do about it, they could all just go ahead and stare for all she cared. For once she was at a loss for words though she had thought of this happening many times before.

Everyone in the room seemed stunned. Nia, the Queen and Darius were als there and the smug look on Darius face was only mirrored by the horror on the Queen's. Raven and Anya were open mouthed and every single person in the room was staring at them.

"Princess Alexandria, Wanheda what is the meaning of this disgraceful display?" the King snapped. "Take your place at once daughter."

Lexa moved over to stand beside her father as was the etiquette in large, formal gatherings.

Clarke knew that it was too late now. Everyone knew. They had to face the consequences. 

"A meeting was called between the thirteen lands," Wells advised not quite meeting her eyes. "Didn't you receive word of it?"

"I must've missed it," Clarke advised. "Raven told me that you sent it to Arkadia just after I left. I was going to write to you and ask."

"How _dare_ you!" the Queen started. "How dare you? This is the true Wanheda. A war criminal and a deviant who dares to seduce an innocent princess of Polis. She has led her astray."

Clarke straightened herself and eyed Darius whose presence always unnerved Lexa. She turned to her wife and looked her directly in the eyes, ignoring the Queen as if she didn't matter at all.

" _Chilla Leksa. Yu ste klir ai hodness."_

_"Sha Klarke. Ai wich yu in."_

"What are you saying? What language are you speaking?"

Wells interrupted the King's ranting.

"You need to explain this Clarke. What's going on?"

Clarke seemed more relaxed than Lexa expected. She just raised an eyebrow saying nothing, refusing to betray Lexa.

"I'll tell you what's going on," Darius said stepping closer to the Queen.

 _Don't you dare_ Clarke thought. _Don't even try it._

"The Princess is gay! They are having an affair. They have been sleeping together."

 

 


	49. I Serve You and No Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke brings her plans to fruition as she, Darius and the Queen face public inquiry for their actions and Lexa admits the truth about her feelings for Clarke and her sexuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably at least one or two chapters left but not many so thanks to everyone for being patient so far with the story.
> 
> Trigedasleng Translation 
> 
> Ste yuj ai houmon - Stay strong my wife  
> Mochof - thank you  
> Ai badan yu op en nou moun heda - I serve you and no other Commander

Clarke didn't think she had ever truly hated anyone before. There was an audible gasp around the room at Darius' words.

"She took advantage of Lexa's innocence. She led her astray," the Queen protested suddenly. "And then she made sure that the marriage was annulled."

"Do you _really_ want to talk about that here?" Clarke asked in a droll voice. "In front of everyone."

There was an edge to her voice, a threat but the Queen had seen her opportunity and was taking it. It was the most foolish thing Clarke had ever seen her do.

"Wells Jaha tell the people the truth," Darius protested. "Tell them how she asked you to annul my marriage to the Princess."

Wells was shaking head with a sigh as he turned to Clarke.

"That's why you wanted it in the treaty. You should have warned me about this."

"Now you _see_ ," Darius complained. "She has robbed me of my rightful place. Lexa by rights is _mine_."

" _Yours_!" Clarke said in disbelief. "After what you did. Go on tell them Darius. Tell them how you treated your wife. Cheating on her, putting your hands on her, gambling away all the royal finances. Did they mention that to you Wells? Their stake in my publishing company is the only reason Polis isn't bankrupt."

Wells seemed to be thinking deeply about her words regarding the whole situation before he made any decisions.

"She _is_ mine. I can treat her how I wish."

"And while we're at it why doesn't the King and Queen admit that they knew what a violent monster he was and what he was doing to their daughter and not only did they refuse to stop it they let it continue."

There was an audible hush around the room. Clarke saw Darius edge towards Lexa, his face marred by fury and she moved to stand in front of her protectively.

"You will not lay a hand on her. Back off!"

Darius scowled and reached to grab her anyway but Clarke slammed her fist in an uppercut to his jaw and he fell backwards knocked out.

Clarke turned back and ran her hands down Lexa's arms.

"Are you alright?"

She cupped Lexa's face. The princess was shaking but Clarke told her everything would be fine and the fear began to subside.

" _Ste yuj ai houmon._ "

She turned around, her blue eyes steeled as she addressed the entire room.

"So," she said, "here's what's going to happen. Darius is going to be arrested by my people and taken to face punishment for his crimes.The King and Queen of Polis are going to stop trying to force Lexa to remarry and Nia, is going to stop colluding with the Queen to make an alliance between Polis and Azgeda."

Several pairs of eyes shifted to stare at Nia and the Queen now.

"Oh, you didn't think I knew that did you? The other rulers in the room don't seem to keen on the idea do they Nia?"

"You have no proof," Nia snapped.

"Oh yes I do. I've gathered quite a bit of evidence actually. You weren't very careful. I also have proof that you were planning to hire reapers to attack Polis and frame Arkadia for it."

Clarke knew that the other leaders all feared an alliance between Polis and Azgeda and that revealing this would make it near impossible for Nia to trade in the winter without assurances that it would never happen.

Wanheda wore a slight smirk as she spoke, turning back to Lexa.

"Besides Polis is already allied with Arkadia. You're too late Nia. That means that by colluding with the Queen you have broken the law by trying to undermine an already legal alliance."

Nia scoffed.

"A peace treaty is hardly a formal alliance."

"Is that why you tried to marry Lexa to Prince Roan? Just so everyone here is aware, the King, the Queen and Nia drugged both of them and tried to force an illegal ceremony against their will."

The Queen spoke up, growing angrier by the moment.

"We did no such thing. More lies!"

"They did," Prince Roan added. "I can testify to that."

Clarke caught his mother giving him an icy glare. Clearly his loyalties had shifted.

"They are going to marry!" the Queen demanded. "They must."

"It's Lexa's decision by law."

"She agrees. Alexandria, tell them you agree to this match."

The King chimed in.

"Daughter. This embarrassment must end today. You must fulfil your duty. We have tried to be patient with you but you continue to defy us. We are your parents!"

Lexa had been quiet and patient, watching all of them except Clarke talk about her as if she wasn't even present. The blonde gave her constant reassuring glances and she knew what Clarke was doing. She was outsmarting them as always and protecting Lexa in the process.

As her mother and father pressured her to agree, she remembered having the same feeling before she had married Darius. They had told her she was abnormal, had forced her to marry a cruel bully. She closed her eyes as they repeated their demands, too many people talking at once. It was happening all over again. They would pressure her. They had never cared for her safety.

She remembered the same experience when they had tried to make her marry Prince Roan and dread flooded through her but then she opened her eyes. and saw Clarke staring at her in concern. Those blue eyes were fixed on her and were full of love and Lexa's heart skipped a beat. She had made her decision already many times over. They could not force her to do anything.

"No," she said softly.

"What?" her mother snapped in surprise. " _No_?"

"I will not marry Prince Roan. I cannot even if I wanted to. Clarke speaks the truth."

Clarke was smiling at her now and Lexa felt a new strength within her. Her wife knew where she was going with this.

"Of course you can! Why on earth couldn't you marry him? He is a most suitable match."

Her mother was insistent but her words no longer affected Lexa as she gazed back at Clarke fondly.

"Because it's true. I am gay, and because I am already married to Clarke."

"Holy shit!" Raven yelled, unable to help herself. "Damn!"

Anya gave her a look and she remembered where she was and shrugged.

The Queen protested again, searching around the room for support, desperately make a last ditch attempt to save face.

"Lies. She would say anything to please her. Wanheda has made her believe they are in love. No one would marry them. It must be illegal."

"We _are_ in love," Lexa replied.

"Yes we are," Clarke said with a smile. "And Marcus Kane performed the ceremony. It's completely legal."

"What proof do we have of this marriage? I implore you all, it is a lie."

Clarke and Lexa gazed at each other,  knowing what they had to do. They both pulled up their sleeves to reveal the matching tattooes on their wrists, infinity symbols with the letters W and H.

"You can verify it with Kane if you wish," Clarke said, addressing her words to Wells. "Also I have the official certificate as evidence. So you see Arkadia and Polis are already allied officially by marriage."

She saw Nia's horror and the Queen's dismay. The King remained silent, knowing enough to know that they were beaten, well and truly beaten.

Wells addressed Clarke a little awkwardly.

"I hate to ask but I have to. Was the marriage consumated?"

"Many, many times," Clarke replied, smirking at Lexa.

Wells turned to Lexa, searching for her to confirm or deny Clarke's words but Lexa merely nodded rather formally and he seemed satisfied with this.

"It's official then. I formally recognise the marriage of Clarke of Arkadia and Princess Alexandria of Polis. Congratulations. As her wife you are of course free to live or stay in Polis for as long as you choose."

"The King and Queen should be stripped of their rights," Aden's father protested. "Had I known of their poor treatment of my niece and their failure to disclose their financial difficulties I would have suggested it sooner. I vote in favour of having their royal rights handed to Alexandria and Wanheda."

Lexa turned her head in surprise. Her Uncle had always seemed to respect her parents. She had little in the way of a relationship with him and had never expected him to back her against his own brother.

"Seconded."

"Seconded."

The leaders voted unanimously, much to the King, the Queen and Nia's horror.

"This is outrageous! You cannot do this," the Queen protested.

"Guards," Wells commanded. "Have the former King and Queen escorted from the premise and taken to the dungeons while they await trial. They are no longer welcome in Polis. Nia your invitation is revoked from Polis permanantly."

Clarke kept Lexa's gaze as they were escorted out and Wells invited them both to be seated on the thrones. Clarke held her hand, aware that this was still very difficult for her and they sat down side by side on their new thrones.

"Murphy? Emori?" Clarke asked. "Would you deliver Darius to a certain debt collector. I promised him that if he was ever arrested, he'd get to carry out the punishment personally. I think an attempted assault on my wife is grounds enough for arrest "

Murphy and Emori were both grinning.

"I would be thrilled to," Murphy replied wih a smirk.

Emori and Murpy tied his hands and feet and carried the unconscious man out of the throne room.

" _Mochof_ ," she heard Lexa whisper.

" _Ai badan yu op en nou moun heda,"_ Clarke replied in a low voice, with a teasing tone.

Nia approached her and Clarke tensed herself meeting her eyes defiantly.

"Well played Wanheda," she said with an unpleasantly, forced smile.

She knew that she was beaten, Clarke was sure of that. As she walked away Clarke kept hold of Lexa's hand. Her pulse was still fast but Clarke could feel her slowly calming as she realised that it was all going to be okay.

"Did you plan for this?" Lexa asked in a hushed tone.

"To fall in love with you and end up falling into the throne room half-naked with you on top of me in front of everyone," Clarke whispered. "No I didn't."

"Did you plan to protect me if they found out? I mean did you know that this was a possibility?"

Clarke gave her a slight smile.

"Lexa. I planned to protect you from the moment we met. From Darius, from your parents... I was looking for a way to deal with them from the start."

Lexa bowed her head shyly. She had known. Somehow she had known that Clarke had considered all the possibilities, had been silently considering just how to work everything out to Lexa's advantage. What did they do now? Lexa wasn't sure that she even knew.

Clarke noticed her pensive mood and brushed her thumb over the back of Lexa's hand.

"We'll talk about it later," Clarke said softly.

Lexa squeezed her hand in gratitude. It still hadn't quite fully hit her what had just happened and what it meant for their future but she knew that she was incredibly happy. She could be with Clarke. It hadn't ever seemed a possibility and she was almost relieved though she felt incredibly self conscious now that everyone knew.

 


	50. Ai Laik Heda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa finally get their happy ending. This is the last chapter. Thanks so much for keeping up with it so far. In my next AU fic, the roles will be somewhat reversed and badass Lexa will making a return. 
> 
> I appreciate every single kudos, bookmark, kind comment and subscribe. I'm not always great at expressing gratitude and seem to switch between excessive babbling and one word replies so thanks for being patient with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Niron yu laik meizen - loved one/lover you are beautiful
> 
> Ai hod yu in feva - I love you forever
> 
> Yu laik badas - You are wonderful 
> 
> Ai badas, meizen houmon - My wonderful, beautiful wife.
> 
> Feva ona ai tombom Klarke - My heart is forever yours Clarke.
> 
> Ai laik heda non ai throu down gon ai - I am Heda. No one fights for me.

By the time everyone left the throne room bar Bellamy, Raven, Anya and Octavia. Clarke and Lexa were busy whispering in trigedasleng to each other, their hands still joined.

"So... this is unexpected," Bellamy said just out of earshot of Clarke and Lexa.

"It's weird," Octavia replied glancing over at the two.

"What's weird about it? They're clearly in love."

"That's what's weird."

Bellamy seemed unaware of what she meant but Raven who had been ready to explode for ages, waved her hands frantically.

"Bell, look at them! When have you seen Clarke like - that?"

He turned around. Clarke had pulled Lexa sideways into her lap and was placing small kisses on the side of her neck while the Princess grinned. Whatever she was saying to her wife, it seemed to please her to no end and Bellamy had to admit, it was weird to see the legendary Wanheda being so giggly and soft. Lexa laughed out loud in a girlish manner and the way Clarke looked at her... She clearly adored her.

"Well I guess this explains a lot."

"I told you! Anya didn't I say? I knew it last year."

Anya raised an eyebrow not letting on how much she had actually known at all.

"You did."

Bellamy tilted his head and raised his eyebrows as if to question why she hadn't told him. Raven shrugged.

"I had no proof though."

"Apart from when we saw them kiss in the library," Octavia added.

"Well," Bellamy replied. "It's official now and from the looks of it they have been wanting this for a long time. It doesn't look like Clarke wants to let go of her anytime soon. Is she trustworthy?"

Anya who was standing with her arms crossed, looked up as if offended by the question.

"Who Lexa?" Octavia asked. "She's actually really nice. She seems okay to me."

"And to me," Raven added.

"She can be trusted," Anya told him. "I have known her for a long time. There is not a cruel bone in her body."

Bellamy nodded rubbing his chin.

"I should get back to Arkadia. I don't want to leave Abby taking care of things for too long. I'll go and say my goodbyes to Clarke."

Clarke was still busy muttering to Lexa in her new throne.

"Niron yu laik meizen. Ai hod yu in feva. Yu laik badas. Ai badas, meizen houmon."

"Feva ona ai tombom Klarke."

Bellamy cleared his throat and they both looked up at him.

"So I take it you're gonna be living her and leaving me to rule in Arkadia while you work from Polis."

There was a smile on his face. Clarke's eyes were piercing when they observed him but it was the happiest he'd ever seen her.

"I'll still be Wanheda. I'll still be there if you need me but yes. Do we need to make it formal in Arkadia too? Have a public ceremony?"

"Well unless you want to announce it in your book again."

Clarke's eyes widened and she met Lexa's eyes with a smile.

"That's a really good idea. What do you think Lexa? Shall I reveal the identity of Heda?"

Lexa nodded seemingly unable to stop smiling.

"That was a joke Clarke."

"It's still a good idea. Let me think about it."

Bellamy shook his head with a grin.

"Same old Clarke. Maybe it's a good thing you getting married. Might keep you out of trouble."

"That's his way of saying congratulations. Or... I could just bring Lexa into trouble with me. Fun trouble," she added for Lexa's benefit.

"Don't you always?" Lexa teased.

"Oh. It's like that is it? Come here."

As Clarke tickled Lexa as she giggled helplessly Bellamy couldn't help but smile at how happy they were together.

"This might be a good time to tell you I'm in a relationship with Echo."

"What?"

Clarke was about to say something else to warn him of the dangers of fraternising with the enemy but his eyes flickered to Lexa and she calmed knowing that it would be hypocritical of her.

"I'm going to head back now. I want to get back to Arkadia as soon as I can before your mother makes any major changes. Should I tell her."

Clarke darted her eyes away in a guilty manner.

"Oh," he said. "I see. She already knows."

"You can tell her what happened. You might want to leave out the half-naked part though."

He chuckled.

"Speaking of that..."

Clarke glanced down, remembering that she was still only in her bra and some pants but she met his gaze defiantly.

"Well. I'll see you soon Clarke. Don't get your new wife in too much trouble."

She nodded and he left to say farewell to his sister. As soon as he turned away Clarke lunged in to make out with Lexa in full view of everyone, running a hand up her thigh.

"Get a room!" Raven yelled.

Neither of them responded, tilting their heads into each other, Lexa's hand placed under chin.

"I think we should leave the room," Octavia said. "They really look like they want to be alone."

Raven clenched her fist. She had waited long enough. She wanted to know everything now. She strode over.

"Okay. I've known about you two since I found Lexa asleep in the library on your book. I kept it quiet. I stopped Octavia from telling anyone when you were making out in the library and I never said a word! Do you know how difficult that was for me?"

Clarke and Lexa broke their kiss and turned their heads.

"What do you want to know Raven?"

Raven threw her hands in the air.

"Everything!"

Clarke grinned and glanced at Lexa. She nodded and got up from her lap, Clarke watching her longingly as she left, wanting nothing more than to follow her.

"Okay Griffin. Your wifey has left the room. Spill!"

  
Lexa entered her room still unable to stop smiling and lay flat on her back on her bed.

How had she been so lucky? How had things changed so much? She glanced down at her wrist and ran her fingers along the tattoo placing a kiss to the letter W.

  
"Wait, wait. We are almost there."

It was several months later and Clarke and Lexa were in Arkadia. The blonde was leading her, covering her eyes with both hands as she guided her into the building.

"Okay," she said coming to a stop. "Now."

She moved her hands from Lexa's eyes and watched as the Princess opened them, the forest green lit up by the light pouring in through the windows.

Lexa observed her surroundings. The library had been completely renovated and looked brand new and colourful. There were book shelves, lots of seating areas and the walls were painted with images from her books. Lexa recognised the image of herself as Heda wearing the war paint as well as many other images.

"It's beautiful. You did this for me."

"It will be completely free. We'll invite Aden to open it officially. There's a room at the back for us if we ever need to stay as well as a reception and there's even an office."

Lexa was awed. They were currently staying in Arkadia deciding to spend most of their time in Polis but several months of the year in Arkadia.

She felt something brush against her thigh and glanced down to see Madi there. The cat seemed quite taken with her and had taken to following her almost wherever they went. So much so that they even took her to Polis with them where Lexa seemed determined to lavish as much attention on her as possible and Madi disappeared and reappeared frequently.

Clarke bent down and scratched her ears.

"What do you think Madi? Do you think she likes it?"

Madi only purred and Clarke straightened herself up as the cat wandered away as per usual, probably to hunt.

"I love it Clarke. It's wonderful."

 _"You're_ wonderful."

Lexa leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips, resting her forehead on Clarke's.

"You have changed my life. Do you know that?"

"You changed mine," Clarke said wistfully. "I love you."

"I love you. With all my heart."

The pair stayed like that for some time no longer having to worry about someone walking in or having to leave each other at some point or anyone trying to separate them.

"Clarke?"

"Yes?"

"I fell asleep last night again didn't I?"

"Yes. Yes you do. I don't mind."

Lexa pulled back and addressed her very seriously.

"I mind. Did you say there's a room in the back?"

"Why I did heda. Would you like to see it?"

Lexa smirked.

"Well it would be fun," she replied, raising one eyebrow.

A mischievious grin spread across Clarke's face as Lexa gently tugged her towards the back room.

"My wish is your command, Heda."

Lexa giggled as her back hit the door and she fumbled for the handle. They fell back into the office, not even reaching the right room, Clarke giving a surprised shriek as Lexa tried pushed her onto the couch and fell onto top of her.

"Clarke!" Lexa protested as her wife started tickling her stomach to regain some sense of power.

"If you want me to stop you have to command me Heda."

"Okay, okay. I command you to stop."

"Say it..."

Lexa protested as she tickled her mercilessly.

"Say it and I'll stop."

"Okay, okay."

"I'm waiting."

Lexa hovered above her on the couch holding Clarke's arms away from her body.

" _Ai laik heda. Non na throu daun gon ai._ "

Clarke grinned in triumph. It was a line from a sketch Clarke had drawn just for Lexa. Lexa had read it aloud one day which had led to a fun evening of Lexa pretending to be the commander after Lexa painted a black raccoon-like mask over her eyes. Clarke, Lexa had found, liked it very much when her wife bossed her around in the bedroom.

Clarke stared up into those green eyes and could still see that mask. She had always seen this inside Lexa. Behind the Princesses' shyness was a commander. She remembered the first time she met those eyes across the room, the first night. Lexa surged forward to kiss her, Clarke straining upwards to meet her lips and follow them.

They had left the door wide open and unlocked neither of them concerned for once with being interrupted as their bodies joined together in a sweet embrace, both still completely and utterly free to love each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
